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"Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love."

The Jane Austen quote, written in my neatest handwriting on the first page of my tattered journal had always been one of my favourites. It had given me immense comfort during the relationship I had with Jacob, when I'd realised that while I loved him, I wasn't in love with him. I'd wanted passionate and all-consuming love instead of the comfortable relationship that (on my end) held little more affection than a friendship.

I'd stayed with Jacob because I'd been afraid of losing him, of losing one of the last links to my father, and had resigned myself to the fact that I might never have the kind of love I craved. I'd felt guilty our entire relationship – for, not loving him the way he deserved – but the relief that I no longer had to carry the charade had overpowered the sting of his betrayal.

He'd once been my best friend, my greatest supporter other than my father, and after his death, Chelsea. We'd pushed each other in high school to get the grades we needed to escape the confines of Forks. He feared the responsibility of becoming the chief of his people after his father and I had grown tired of the looks of pity and concern every time I did my groceries.

In the summer, when he'd arrived at my apartment a week earlier than I'd expected him and informed me with cold eyes that he'd been sleeping with one of my closest friends, it had hurt. I'd never have expected it from him, nor the nasty words he'd spit at me after he'd heard about James, which had stung infinitely more.

So when he approached me on campus on Thursday morning, I'd been more than shocked to find him staring at me with remorse and shame painted on his face.

"Bells," he said, his voice soft and I flinched at the use of the nickname my father had given me, the one I'd always hated when it came from his mouth.

"Leave me alone, Jacob," I had muttered trying to turn away from him, only to be stopped by his hand on my arm.

"Don't touch me!" I hissed, ripping myself out of his grip. He jumped back as if he'd been burned, no doubt shocked by the poison in my voice.

"I heard about what really happened with James, that he tried to force you … I'm so fucking sorry for saying what I did about you, Bells. I didn't mean it, you have to forgive me," his voice shook with his words. A few weeks before, I might have fallen for it, but as I watched his eyes fill with tears, I felt nothing.

"No," I told him.

"What?" he looked at me, shock replacing remorse.

"I don't have to forgive you, I don't have to do anything. You hurt me, you cheated on me, and you made me sound like a slut! So no, I won't forgive you. You don't deserve it."

"Bells," he pleaded and his shoulders hunched, making him appear smaller than I'd ever seen him. "Please, I made a mistake, baby. I love you, I've always-"

"You don't love me Jacob, not like you said you did. If you had, then you never would have cheated on me. You don't hurt the people you love and you hurt me," I told him, my voice firm and my resolve unwavering.

"But Bells-"

"And I fucking hate when you call me that!" I hissed. "You never listened to me, ever. You always ordered my food for me and never remembered my birthday and not once, ever, did you give me an orgasm. And worse than that, you didn't even fucking try."

His face paled and he swallowed, his shoulders hunching as he looked away, but I continued. I overlooked all of that, because you weren't just my boyfriend, you were my best friend and I trusted you. But you slept with Leah, of all people and I will never forgive you for that. I loved you both and you betrayed me."

"Bella-"

I held up a hand, stopping him from whatever guilt-tripping soliloquy he was about to spew. "Don't. Just leave me alone."

And then I walked away, leaving Jacob and all of his crap behind, feeling lighter than I had in years.

I was sitting at a the table at work while on my break, going over all of the homework I would be buried in over the weekend when I heard the scrape of a chair being pulled out opposite me. Startled, I looked up to find Alice smiling at me warmly.

"Hey," I told her, not hiding my surprise.

"Hey, I'm sorry I kind of just showed up here, but I wanted to talk to you real quick." She smiled at me, but I could see the tension in her shoulders.

I smiled tightly, already worried about what she was going to say, because I knew it was about Edward. "It's okay, I was about to die of boredom anyway," I lied.

"It's about Edward," she started, running her hand through her hair in a way I immediately recognised. "He's my cousin and I know I've never actually mentioned this to you before but we've lived together almost our entire lives. My parents raised him and I can honestly say that I have never seen him act the way he has in the past couple of weeks. Not ever."

My heart pounded in my chest at her words, echoing so loudly that I almost didn't hear anything else around me. I'd known that she and Edward were cousins, but I hadn't known they'd lived together for that long, I'd just assumed they'd moved in with one another to cut costs. "How has he been acting?" I enquired.

"Alive," she stated, her mouth stretching into a wide smile. "I don't know why Bella, but for most of his life he's been … introverted. Not shy, just silent and you … You make him smile. He's smiling every single day and you have no idea what that means to me, what it'll mean to my parents."

"I don't know what to say. I haven't really done anything." Except give him a blowjob in a public library, I added in my head. She definitely didn't need to know that.

She smiled sweetly. "I just wanted to thank you. He's been stuck in his head for so long and it's nice to see him out of it. And out of that freaking bedroom!" she laughed and I laughed along with her, willing my heart to stop beating so fast.

I didn't want to hear that I'd changed something in him, or brought him out of his shell, because that was the kind of thing that made a girl think she was special. It was the kind of thing that made a girl fall. And I wasn't ready to fall for him.

Not yet.

But I was well on my way.

What are you reading? His message read, and I started as I looked down at the open book on my pillow, the one I'd put down so I could reply to his text. It was ten o'clock and I'd finally given up on my homework, promising my GPA that I'd give it some love the next day.

How do you know that I'm reading? I could be doing anything. I have a lot of homework, you know.

Because I know you, Pretty Girl. What are you reading?

I blushed furiously. He'd spent the entire week asking question after question about my life, demanding more when I gave him short answers and asking me to elaborate more often than not. When I'd asked him why, he'd said that he needed to know. Needed, not wanted. He told me that he'd waited long enough and when I'd asked what he'd waited for, he'd simply asked me another question.

I'm reading a Game of Thrones.

Which one?

Just the first one.

I put my phone down then and picked up my book, resuming reading from where I'd stopped and was less than a paragraph in when my phone started buzzing with a call. I read his name on the screen and hesitated for less than a second before answering it.

"Hello?" I asked, trying desperately to sound calm but failing miserably.

"Where are you up to?" he asked without giving me a hello. His voice was low and velvety and made me press my thighs together.

"Dany is about to marry Drogo," I told him. There was silence on the other end for a minute and I could hear sheets moving and blushed furiously when I realised that he was also in bed. I smiled a little though, because he'd never called me before.

"Can you read to me?" he asked, his voice soft and my heart stuttered in my chest.

"Okay," I told him and began reading.

I read aloud, paragraphs falling from my mouth without hesitation until Dany and Drogo were finally alone and he began touching her intimately. My breathing hitched and I faintly heard his do the same and the silent air between our two phones crackled with tension. I read until Daenerys gave into him and after, barely ten pages in when my voice started to crack and my throat began to hurt.

With a small smile in his voice, he told me to put the book away and to go to sleep. And with a broad grin on my face, I listened to him.

I woke up the next morning, my throat still scratchy and I groaned, knowing that I would be spending the weekend nursing my first cold of the school year. Despite being incredibly used to the poor weather, there was no avoiding the contagious germ that seemed to hit me the same time every year without fail.

I made my way through my morning classes with a zombie-like disposition, barely taking notes as my nose stopped working properly and my temples started throbbing. When I got home, Rose had taken one look at me before calling Liam and telling him to find a replacement for my shift. I was thankful because she was one of the few people that he actually feared and I was desperate to take some Tylenol and burrow myself under my covers and sleep my cold away.

By Saturday afternoon, my fever had finally broken.

I'd slept no more than two hours at a time and I'd already forgotten what it had felt like to be able to breathe with both nostrils unblocked.

I was hating life.

Rosalie had been in periodically throughout the night and day, making sure I was still alive and forcing me to keep hydrated. With the help of Emmett, she'd moved the television onto the dresser in front of my bed and had fired up Netflix before leaving for their Grease themed Saturday night.

She'd made a fantastic Sandy.

I'd messaged Edward yesterday afternoon, informing him of the illness that would be ruining my weekend. Ihadn't checked my phone since I'd changed into my favourite, long-sleeved, oversized nightie and had crawled into bed.

I leaned over and picked it up from my bedside table, clicking the home button once before recognizing that it was flat. I was weighing up the pros and cons of leaving my bed and going out into the living room to grab its charger when I heard someone knocking loudly on the front door. Pushing aside my used tissue mountain, I rolled out of bed and made my way slowly to the front door.

One look into the peephole told me that Edward was standing outside.

He was through the door less than a second after I opened it. He didn't hesitate before walking over to the kitchen counter and placing two plastic bags on top of it before turning to smile at me. "Hey."

"Hi," I croaked back, moving over to the counter and throwing myself onto one of the second-hand bar stools. He leaned over and placed his hand on my forehead, checking my temperature before dropping it to my jaw and running his thumb across my cheek.

"Your fever broke?" he asked and I nodded in response, smiling weakly. "When?"

"A couple of hours ago," I replied, watching as he lifted Styrofoam cups and containers out of his bag.

"I brought you soup," he stated as he opened one of the cups and I moaned as the scent of chicken noodle hit me. My appetite had been gone for over twenty-four hours and I rejoiced at having it back.

"Soup?"

"Soup."

"You're the best," I told him as he handed me the cup and a spoon. He grinned in response, opening another container before taking the seat next to me.

"Debatable," he quipped back, before digging into his own dinner.

"Thank you," I told him as he put the rubbish from our dinner in the bin. He closed the lid before turning back to me, his jade eyes soft.

"It's okay," he replied, walking around the counter and swinging my barstool around so that I faced him. Gently, he cupped my face in his hands. "I brought Star Wars, but you seem to be missing a television."

I giggled and fought back a cough. "It's in my bedroom. What trilogy?" I enquired, praying he knew the right answer.

"Original, of course," he replied with a crooked grin that I felt warm my entire body. He moved his hand from my face and took my hand. "Which one's your room?"

I smiled in response, trying to forget the fact that I looked like absolute hell before pointing to my bedroom door. With flushed cheeks, I managed to dispose of my tissue mountain before I crawled back into bed. I watched with a pounding heart as Edward came into the room a minute later, our Blu-ray player in his hands as he began hooking it up without hesitation. After he put in the first disk, he then made his way over to my bed, taking off his jumper and shoes before climbing in next to me.

"You're gonna get sick," I mumbled as he pulled me until my head rested against his chest, his heart beating steadily against my cheek.

"It's Saturday," he replied quietly. "I had to see you, illness or no illness."

I didn't say anything back.

I didn't know what to say to that, but my chest filled with intense warmth in response. I was right about Jacob, our relationship wasn't anything like how it should have been. Not once had he ever made me feel a fraction of this intensity or joy. It was startling.

We said nothing throughout the movie, or the next one, him too engrossed and me paying more attention to the hand stroking my hair than the adventures of the Rebel alliance. Between the first and the second film, he'd gotten up to bring me cough syrup, the kind that I liked because it made me feel drowsy enough to actually sleep.

He'd gotten it without me even asking, also bringing me a cup of water to wash down the too-sweet taste. I'd never had that with Jacob. Not the movie watching in bed, or the taking care of me when I was sick. It filled me with a warmth that I'd not felt since my father had died.

I felt completely safe.

"Edward," I croaked as the credits rolled on The Empire Strikes Back. The sun had long since set and the only light in the room came from the screen. He lifted the remote and shut it off before shifting so that we were face to face.

In the darkness though, I couldn't see a thing. "What is it, love?"

"You make me feel special," I admitted softly, my voice slightly slurred with sleep. "No one's ever made me feel special before."

He said nothing as he wrapped an arm around me, pulling me tightly against his chest before dropping a kiss to my forehead. "You made me feel again, Pretty Girl. You are special."

I burrowed further into his chest at that, smothering my smile against the fabric of his shirt before letting his heartbeat lull me into sleep.

I dreamed of jade eyes and crooked grins.

Fic Rec:

Adult Book Store by cosmogirl7481

Bella drove past every day…curious, frustrated, repressed and longing. Secretly needing something, but too afraid to ask. Until one day, she wasn't.