Chapter Two

Five Months Ago

She had asked herself a thousand times why she had gone to Jake's that night. She told herself it was because Kelly's was closed and that she couldn't have afforded a room at the Metro Court. But neither of those options answered why she had sat at the bar for three hours waiting for him to walk in, especially when she knew he was across town, at his penthouse, with her. She had no place waiting and wanting someone who wasn't hers, but she needed a friend. She needed him. So she waited and when she realized he wasn't going to show, she paid her tab, collected her things, and headed for the stairs to the room she had rented.

He had slipped into the back door at Jake's that night shortly after midnight. He left his penthouse in a fit of fury after having another fight about the things he had done. About the night he had spent with someone else. It was exhausting being reminded of the wrongs he had committed, when she had so many herself. He had left needing a ride, needing to feel the wind around him, needing to leave Port Charles far behind. He had driven past Jake's several time before he pulled into the alley behind it and parked his bike. He wasn't craving a game of pool or a beer. He was in need of something much more. He just couldn't quite put his finger on what. He was surprised at how quiet the bar sounded. He started towards the doorway when something moved out of the corner of his eye. He turned to the stairs, a slow smile creeping across his face when he saw her.

She froze halfway up the stairs, her hand tightening around the railing. She felt nervous and scared, like she had been caught doing something bad. He said her name again, softer this time, and something about it took her back to the first night they had spent together. She turned around slowly, her eyes finding his immediately, and she felt safe for the first time that day. She started to walk down the steps, but stopped, when he came up them to her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, realizing it was the first time he had seen her since that night. Everything had been such a mess for her then and from looking at her, he knew it still was.

She shrugged, leaning against the railing. "I left." She didn't say anything else. It hurt too badly to even think about. She had stayed, trusting him to get clean and sober. And he had lied to her face, still using behind her back.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked, taking a deep breath. She didn't deserve this.

She shook her head. "He didn't even try to stop me," she replied, her voice shaky. She felt a tear slip down her face and before she could wipe it away, his thumb was grazing across her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. "He lied to me. I thought he would get through this, that I could get him through this, but…" She opened her eyes and looked into his. "I should have left before."

"You love him," he replied, trying to figure out how to make this right for her. "You wanted to help him, like he did you. Don't blame yourself." He moved closer to her, just one step in front of her. Her eyes were filled with more pain, more aching than he had ever seen in her face. "Is there-"

"Why are you here?" she interrupted, chewing her lip. She was nervous, as if being this close to him was dangerous.

"I needed to get away…We're still trying to figure things out," he replied, knowing that was what she had meant. "I went for a ride. I drove by here a couple of times."

"I was waiting for you," she said without thinking. She felt like she had crossed a line the instant she said it, but it was the truth. She needed someone to look at her and tell her she had fought long and hard. That it was okay to throw in the towel and give up. She needed someone she didn't have to talk to, who could look at her and understand.

He nodded, knowing just what she meant. She had been what he was craving, what he was searching for. She knew the pain of the betrayal, of trying to work back from it, but unlike him, she had given up. Or maybe he had and was too much of a coward to go ahead and admit it. "Let me take you somewhere else," he said, reaching for her hand. "I can get you a room at the Met-"

"Or you could…just…stay…here," she cut in. She sighed, having spoken without thinking again. She had no idea what she was doing. "I didn't mean it to sound like that…I meant we could tal-"

"Okay," he interrupted. He wasn't thinking about who was waiting for him at home, let alone what existed at the bottom of these stairs.

"Okay," she repeated, a faint smile on her lips. She turned around and headed up the stairs, felt his presence behind her. She realized she was shaking and thought for a second about turning around, telling him to go home, but she didn't. She willed herself to the top of the stairs, down the hall, and to the second room on the right. She dug through her purse and fumbled for her keys.

He could see the tension in her shoulders. She was always so at ease around him, but tonight was different. He watched her slip the key into the lock, turning it several times before she finally got the door open. And when she stepped inside, he lingered in the doorway for a moment, wondering if he should go while he had the chance.

"I used to think these rooms were so much bigger," she said, tossing her purse down on the desk. "You know…when you lived here."

"Me too," he murmured, coming inside and closing the door behind him. He leaned up against it, folding his arms across his chest. He thought of all the times they had been alone together in a room above Jake's. The nights he had ached for her to be with him, in more ways than one.

She tightened her shoulders, bringing them up around her as she walked towards him slowly. "I don't know how to get over this," she said, lifting her tear filled eyes to his. "I just want….I want…to feel…whole again." She sucked in a deep breath, feeling as if her chest could cave at any moment. "Please."

His heart fluttered when the word escaped her mouth in a desperate plea. He looked her over. Her knees shaking in her snug jeans as she hugged herself, the sleeves of her sweater clutched tightly in her fists. "Please what?" he asked, knowing what she wanted. He told himself it was less wrong if she asked for it.

She stepped towards him, her eyes locked on his eyes. She wanted to look away, to break the trance, but she was already too far gone. "Please," she murmured, holding her hand out to him. "Just make me whole again."

The words were barely out of her mouth before his arms were around her, his lips taking hers for the keeping. He kissed her hard, parting her lips with his tongue. His kiss was forceful, something he knew she wasn't used to, but he knew that she liked it. He backed her towards the desk and lifted her on it. He shoved her legs apart and stepped into her, his hands roam over her chest, while his tongue moved in her mouth. He knew she was breathless, but enjoyed that she was trying hard not to pull away.

She soaked in the feeling of his arms around her and told herself that if she died right now, this would be the way to go. His hands were rough against her body. One under her shirt, moving over her skin, the other tugging at ends of her hair. He was the first man that tugged harder when she gasped at the roughness at which he pulled her hair. She liked being treated as if she weren't going to break. She liked that he was taking her.

He broke the kiss first, only because he was breathless and thirsty for hair. He grabbed the edge of her sweater and jerked it over her head, groaning when he realized she was wearing a camisole beneath it. "You should wear less clothes," he murmured, his lips against her shoulder. He loved the sound of her moan when he dragged his teeth across her skin, moving towards her neck. He grabbed her hair, pulling her head to the side, placing his lips over her neck.

She couldn't control herself when his tongue moved across her skin. She didn't know how, but he knew just where to touch her, just how hard or soft, to drive her completely wild. She moved his mouth away from her neck, long enough to get her camisole off. And before he had the chance, she had unhooked her bra and was sliding it down her shoulders. She laid back against the desk topless, eager for him to take her and make him hers.

He ran his calloused hands lightly over her bare skin and only when she whimpered did his touch become rougher. And when she begged, he finally placed his lips over her breasts. He ran his teeth across her breasts slightly, his tongue snaking out and leaving a hot trail. Licking slowly around a nipple, he worked a hand against the front of her jeans, tugging at the zipper.

She ran her fingers through his hair, tugging lightly, loving his moan against her skin. She held his mouth against her, the feel of his tongue across her chest unlike anything she had ever felt before. She arched her hips, her hands leaving his head long enough to push her jeans down. She tried to wiggle her way out of them, but the weight of his body on hers didn't give her much space to room.

He grabbed her hands, pinning them at her sides as his mouth worked across her chest, from one breast to the other. He sucked long and hard, sure he was going to leave bruises. He was going to make sure she remembered this.

"Please," she whimpered, moving her body below his.

That, he was realizing, was the word that was going to bring him to his knees. He released her hands, pulling back long enough to slip her pants the rest of the way off. "The wait is the best part," he teased, winking a twinkling blue eye at her.

"Not when this is all you've been thinking about for the past month," she muttered back at him. She caught her words. Had it really been over a month since they were first together? It felt longer, much longer, but that was probably because it was all she'd been thinking about it. It had been a fantasy, she honestly never thought she'd be with him again. She gripped the edge of the desk when he grabbed the sides of her underwear and jerked them down her legs.

He pulled his own shirt over his head, then leaned over her, placing a soft kiss on her lips. He groaned against her mouth when her hands went to the front of his jeans, rubbing against his hard on. He pulled away, only because if she kept going, he would come and it would be over before it really began. And he wanted to make sure she got what she wanted, what she needed, what she had really been begging him for on the stairwell.

She tensed up when he dropped to his knees in front of her. And when he grabbed her legs, pulling her to the edge of the desk, she was sure this was all a dream. She started to pull back, but his voice was soft and soothing, urging her to just let go, to just feel, and to trust him.

He ran his hands lightly over her silky thighs. He had never felt skin so soft. He never wanted to forget how good she felt against him. He ran a hand over her and she arched her hips slightly. He knew with just one touch he could make her come, but he wanted her to savor it and enjoy it.

She cried out loudly when she felt his mouth against her skin. One long slow lick and she had nearly fallen right off the desk. She sat up on her elbows looking down at him as he moved his mouth against her, his hands holding her firmly in place.

He felt his eyes on her as he nipped at the tiny bud between her legs. And when he shifted his eyes to hers, his tongue still moving against her, he felt her body tense and knew that she was gone.

She cried out loudly, her body trembling and grabbed the back his head, holding him in place as she rocked her hips against his face. She didn't want him to stop, didn't want to forget the feel of his mouth against her, and she held him there long after she came, letting go, only when the intensity of it washed over her. She collapsed against the desk, no longer having the strength to hold herself up.

He moved back to his feet, sliding his pants off, knowing that if he didn't get a release soon, he was going to lose his mind. He leaned over her, his lips moving across her chest, then moving slowly up to her neck and then her mouth.

She kissed him hard, forcing his mouth open with her tongue. She tasted herself in his mouth and normally that would have made her feel dirty or vulgar, but with him, it tasted like heaven. She felt his hands grip her waist, pulling her up. When her feet touched the floor, she felt dizzy with pleasure and he had to hold her up.

He cradled her against him as he moved towards the bed. He paid no attention and when her legs hit the edge of it, she fell backwards and he crashed down on top of her. He shifted his weight and pushed her legs apart, pulling his head back and looking at her one last time. "Are you sure?" he asked, knowing they were both too far gone to care.

She nodded, running her hand over his cheek. "I want you," she murmured, arching her hips towards his, excitement spreading through her when she felt him against her skin. She pulled his face back to hers, kissing him savagely, moaning into his mouth.

He slipped his arms under legs, pulling her against him. He broke away from the kiss, growling loudly when he pushed inside her. He laid still against her, trying to hold it together. She was all too wet and tight and he knew that if he wasn't careful, he'd ruin this for. He tangled a hand in her hair, turning her head to the side so his mouth could mark her neck. He sucked her skin hard, biting at it lightly before pulling back to look at her. "You're beautiful," he said softly, kissing her, his tongue tracing over her lips. "And I want you too."

She arched her hips against him, her body and mind needing to feel just how badly he wanted her. She felt his hands grip her thighs tightly as he started to move. She raised herself up from the bed to meet his long, slow strokes. She gripped his shoulders, her body weak with pleasure. And soon her moans mixed with his, their voices becoming one.

When he realized he was close, his thrusts became harder and faster. He worried at first that she wouldn't like that, but he soon realized that was what she wanted. The harder he slammed into her, the louder she cried out, the tighter she gripped his shoulders. He buried his face against her neck, drowning his moans as his hips pumped hard against hers.

She had never had someone take such control of her, giving it to her just the way she liked it. This, she told herself, was how it should be. How it should always be. She felt the waves building within and when she came, she called out his name, tears coming to her eyes from the pleasure.

Jason smiled against her neck when he felt her fingernails dig into his shoulders. Her cry was so loud that he was sure that anyone else upstairs had her and it turned him on more than anything ever had in his life. He pulled back, slamming hard into her one last time, before his own release came as he murmured her name against her neck.

They were still and quiet afterwards, their bodies slumped against one another's as they fought for their breath. They fought to not come down from the pleasure and they fought to keep everything they had been running from away. But mostly importantly they were fighting all the reasons that what they had just done had been wrong.