Chapter Six
Three Months Ago
She slipped her coat from her shoulders the second she stepped inside the coffee shop. She was hot and flustered, but mostly nervous. She thought about his message as she made her way to the back. How he hadn't asked to see her, but had demanded and how she had so willingly complied. She knew she had made a mistake, but she didn't know why she had done it. She knew the entire time it was wrong and yet that hadn't stopped her. She forced a smile at the guard who was standing at the door and sucked in a breath when he opened it, waving her on by.
He looked up from his boss's desk when she entered the room. He tossed his pen down on the desk and slammed the notebook closed. He still couldn't believe the stunt she had pulled the night before, the way she had used him. And it angered him even more when she blatantly avoided his gaze and stood as far from him as possible.
"I'm surprised you came to see me," he said, leaning back in his chair.
"I thought you deserved an explanation," she replied softly, picking at the sleeve of her coat.
He grunted. "Do you actually have one?" he asked, moving to his feet. He walked around to the other side of the desk and sat on the edge. He motioned in front of him. "Please, let me hear it."
"Don't be like this," she murmured, tears hanging in her eyes. She had hurt him because she was hurting, because she wanted him to feel like she did. But she didn't want it to be like this…So sad and awkward.
"Like what?" he asked, throwing his hands up.
"I dunno," she replied with a shrug. She shuffled her feet against the floor. "This is just complicated. It should have ended it before-"
"But you came to me last night," he cut in, pointing at her. "You ended it at the hospital, remember? But then last night, you show up all hot and bothered and the second it was over, you just disappeared into thin air!"
"Well, you were so busy on your damn cell phone!" she shouted. She was so mad she was trembling. Or was she scared? She clutched her coat and purse to her chest. "The next time you're sleeping with someone you don't roll over and forget about them the second your phone rings."
"I had to answer the phone," he replied, his voice low. He eyed the door, not wanting anyone outside to hear them. "She had been waiting and-"
"Oh, I knew she was waiting."
"Yeah, I know," he hissed, stepping towards her. "Imagine my surprise when I walked into Jake's and saw her sitting at the bar."
"I'm sorry."
"That's really all you've got?"
She flicked her eyes to his as a tear slipped down her face. "I was waiting to see you too," she replied, hanging her coat over the back of the chair in front of her. "She showed up and was anything but pleased to see me. The first words out of her mouth were basically an attack against me for ever sleeping with you in the first place. She called me a whore and a liar and I just got fed up. Especially when she said there was no point in hanging around because you'd never want me anyway. That I was a mistake."
He could see in her eyes that she was hurt, but she had to know it wasn't true. Why else was this going on between them? "I'm sorry that she said that to you," he said, stepping towards her. "But you know it's not true. I still don't understand why you-"
"I wanted to stick it to her!" she cut in with a nonchalant shrug. "I knew I could have you and-"
"You took me," he cut in with a knowing nod. "But you don't want me. Or is that you can't have me."
"I'm married!"
"I have a girlfriend!"
"Or had? It's really confusing seeing as one second you're with her and one you're not," she said hastily.
"It's complicated," he replied with a heavy sigh. "I want to be there for her right now, in the same way you're there for him."
"But I don't go home to him at night. I don't lay down beside him, let alone sleep with him!"
"I never said I was sleeping with her."
"She's your girlfriend," she pointed out. She couldn't hide her grin of satisfaction about knowing he hadn't been with her. "And if you aren't sleeping with her, she's going to wonder who you're sleeping with."
"So, are you going to hop into bed with him when he gets home?"
"He's my husband," she replied simply, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I can't just abandon him, not after how hard he's tried to turn his life around for me."
"What do you think you're doing?" he asked, stepping closer to her. "You're sleeping with someone else. He's not going to take to that too well."
"He's never going to know."
"Unless I tell him."
"Which you won't.," she said with a smirk. She could tell from the look on his face she was right. "You'd never hurt me like that."
"And I thought you'd never hurt me like you did last night."
"I'm sorry," she said earnestly. "I just lost control. She said that to me so smugly and I don't know, maybe I felt like I had something to prove."
"You're acting like this is some kind of game!"
She shifted her eyes to his, tightening her jaw. "Isn't that what it is?" she asked. She motioned back and forth between them. "I come to you. You come to me. I come to you-"
"And you get in your car and drive away afterwards," he interrupted hastily. He saw her eyes fill with tears and it almost made him feel good. "Don't bullshit me. There's more than just sex here and you know it."
She rolled her eyes and tipped her head back, laughing sarcastically. "Let me guess!" she said, holding up her hand. She started to count off. "You need me. I mean something to you. There could be something great between us. Hell, maybe you even think you love me!"
He swallowed hard, telling himself not to lose his cool. She wanted a reason to run, to say that this entire ordeal was stupid, but he wouldn't allow that. "Maybe I do."
"You love me?" she asked, laughing again. "Oh, right. I love you too. That's why I'm banging you parking lots and seedy bars rooms."
"I'd light candles and play music if I knew you were into that sort of thing," he replied without missing a beat. "But you're not. You just want me the same way that I want you. It's not romantic or sweet. It's raw and more real than anything you've had in a while. That scares you."
She sucked in a breath when he stepped closer to her, bracing himself over her, his hands planted on either side of her head. She had no way out. "You're awfully cocky," she said, chewing her lip. "You think you're that good, but you're not."
"Then you would have never come back, never would have begged for it on those stairs at Jake's," he replied with a smirk. He liked the way her lips said one thing, but her eyes wanted another.
"Ass," she said, her palm striking his cheek. She suddenly felt like a cheap whore. She should have never come here. She should be with her husband, helping him, instead of trying to convince herself that this was just about sex. That there were no feelings here. It was exhausting.
He was taken back for a second by the smack, but managed to catch her wrist before she could hit him again. He shoved her up against the door, holding both of her hands next to her head. "So, sex is what you want," he replied, pressing his cheek against hers. His breath was hot on her cheek. He pressed his hips against hers. "Just sex right?"
She closed her eyes, refusing to look at him. She felt his hips grind against hers again and almost instinctively she ground back. "We shouldn't…" she started to murmur, but her words were cut off when he placed his lips over hers.
He kissed her hard, raking his teeth over her lips, forcing his tongue into her mouth. If she wanted sex, just sex, he was going to give it to her. No more soft strokes or tender moments. This was about one thing only. He sucked on her lower lip gently, then bit into it, causing her to moan against his mouth. He released her hands, one moving to flick the lock on the door, tangling the other up in her hair.
She wrapped a leg around his waist, pulling him into her as she ran her fingers through his hair. She tugged lightly, his low growl escaping into her mouth. She strained to press her lips against his, shoving her tongue in his mouth. She swirled hers around his, just the mere touch of them together, nearly sending her over the edge.
He slipped a hand beneath her gray sweater, his fingertips grazing over her silky skin. He felt her arch against his hand, begging for his touch. He undid the strap of her bra before he broke the kiss long enough to jerk the sweater over her head, his hands going to the snap on her jeans. He dropped to his knees, tugging her underwear along down with her pants. He pulled her shoes from her feet hurriedly. "Step out," he commanded.
She didn't realize she was shaking until she moved to step out of her pants. He pressed a hand against her waist, shoving her back against the door to steady her. She bit her lip, looking down at him, almost fearful of what he might do. She shifted to slide her bra straps from her shoulder, tossing it to the ground. She stood above him completely naked and more vulnerable than she'd ever felt.
He grabbed her legs by her calves, pulling them apart quickly. She cried out softly, mostly because he'd caught her off guard, but he didn't feel guilty or even care. This was what she wanted. He ran his hands up and down her legs, nuzzling his face against her stomach, biting and nipping at her skin.
Her hands clutched the top of his head, holding him against her, her hips rocking towards him. She wanted him. She needed him. And she hated herself for it. She moaned when he nipped her skin, slowly moving downward, his hands gripping her thighs so tightly she was sure they'd be bruised.
When he pressed his tongue against her, she whimpered, pulling his hair. His tongue moved against her slit, swirling over and all around it. He pulled his mouth away, replacing his tongue with a finger. He slid it into her slowly, teasing her slightly as he added another with it. His hand pumped against her feverishly, the strokes quick and steady.
She threw her head back against the door, arching her back, mostly to try and keep her balance. She was sure at any moment she'd fall over. She cried out his name when he nipped at the bud between her legs. His tongue twirling around it, his teeth raking against it. She wasn't sure how they'd gotten tot his point. How she'd ended up naked, pressed against the cold steel door when she had come here only to apologize. All she wanted was for things to go back to normal, for things to be less complicated, but how could she ever go back from this?
He felt her body tense above him and knew that she was losing focus. That she was thinking about why neither of them should be doing this. He shifted back on his heels, moving to his feet, his hand still pumping against her. Her hands dropped to his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin as she moaned, her hips rolling against his fingers with every thrust.
She felt his hand slip around her neck, tipping her head towards his. She parted her lips, eager for the touch of his lips. She kissed him hard, parting his lips, her tongue raking around his mouth. She could taste herself and she liked it. And she knew that he knew she liked it. She let out a low moan, her head falling back against the door when she felt her body begin to tremble.
"Come on," he murmured, his lips pressing against her neck. His tongue danced lightly over her skin, before tugging it between his teeth. He sucked her hard, branding her as he always did. No matter how much she denied it, she was his.
"I-I-Oh god," she moaned, her body collapsing against his as she felt the release burst through her body. She pressed her head against his shoulder, her hands dipping beneath his shirt to touch his warm skin. She felt his hand slip from between her legs, then around her waist, pulling her against him. She could feel him between her legs, feel how badly he wanted her.
He held her against his body, pleased that she could barely stand up, and carried her from the door to the edge of his bosses desk. He slipped a hand into the ends of her hair, pulling her head back so he could place his lips over his.
She found the snap of his jeans. Slipping her arms around him, she tugged them down slowly, pressing her hands hard against his skin. She broke the kiss long enough to pull his shirt off, wondering why she always ended up naked first and he waited until the last possible moment.
He tried to hide his grin when she braced herself against the edge of the desk, her eyes roaming over him. He closed his eyes when her soft hands ran over his chest, her nails raking across his skin. He moaned when she pulled him against her, her lips leaving a long wet trail against his skin. He felt her hand slip down, her slender fingers wrapping around him. She pumped him several times before he jerked her hands away. "You can't."
She pouted briefly, then bit her lip as she leaned back against the desk. She braced her hands on the edge, wrapping her legs around his waist. She rolled her hips against his, still aching with desire for him. She jerked forward all of sudden, when she felt something dig into her back.
He reached around her, his arm sweeping everything off the desk, before lowering her down onto to it, her head hanging over the side. He ran his tongue over her skin, suckling at her breast, his teeth tugging hard, forcing her to moan.
She withered beneath him, her hips grinding against him so hard that she was sure she'd come soon regardless of whether or not he was inside of her. "Don't make me beg," she muttered.
He pulled away from her, grabbing her by the hands and moving her to a sitting position. "I won't," he replied his hands gripping her thighs as he pulled her to the edge of the desk. He pressed a kiss against her bare shoulder. "There's a guard outside. And he probably already heard you before, so you may-"
She cut him off, placing her lips over his. At this point she didn't care who heard them, his girlfriend, her husband, the entire town. She just had to have him. "I don't care," she murmured, breaking the kiss. She pressed her forehead against his, arching her hips against his. "Please."
He nodded, pulling her legs away from his waist, planting them on the ground. His eyes looked her up and down, in awe of how beautiful she was. The natural curve of her body, the redness of her skin from where he'd sucked and nipped at her, but mostly it was the desire, the need in her eyes that nearly killed him. He moved between her legs, positioning himself to enter, then suddenly stepped back.
"No, what are you-" She was cut off, but his hand gripping her waist and flipping her over. She nearly fell down on the desk, but managed to catch herself with her hands. She felt his hands slide up and down her back, settling on her hips. She sucked in a breath when he stepped up behind her, pushing her legs apart with her own. She'd never been taken like this.
He could see the tension in her back, noticed the way she hung her head. But she didn't yell for him to stop or tell him no. He gave her a few seconds, waiting to see if she protested. He reached up to pull her hair away from her neck, shoving it to one side before leaning his body over hers. He brushed his lips over her shoulder. "Are you okay?" She nodded. "I'm not going to hurt you."
"I know," she replied, tilting her head towards his, a faint smile on her lips. She felt his body press against hers as he stretched to kiss her softly, reassuring her that she was safe. She planted her hands on the desk when she felt him move behind her. She felt his hands run over her back again, then they gripped her hips, pulling her towards him.
He teased her entrance, pressing himself against her, then in one fail swoop, he slid inside. He moaned loudly, one of his hands moving to grip her shoulder. He always seemed to forget how tight she was. He smiled to himself when she arched her back against him, wiggling her hips to settle between him. He tightened his grip on her shoulder and hip as he began to move.
She felt him pull out nearly all the way, then slam into her again. She cried out, losing her balance, her body collapsing onto the desk. Pressing her face against the cool wood, she threw her hips back against him, low whimpers coming from her mouth. She'd never felt so full or whole. She wanted this to last forever.
Bending over her, he braced himself against the desk with one hand, the other tugging at her hair. He nipped at whatever bare skin he could reach with his teeth. He wanted all of her at once, wanted to touch and feel every inch of her, hated that it was an impossible feat.
She moaned loudly, tipping her head in his direction when he tugged her hair back. She bit her lip, suddenly feeling embarrassed by how much she was enjoying this. It should have felt dirty. But then again, a lot of things they'd done should have felt dirty and wrong, but this felt right. The way it should have always been. She caught his eye briefly and looked away.
There was no way for him not to see notice how much she liked this. He could feel it with how her body tightened around him, could hear it in her voice, and could see it with the way her body moved against him. He realized suddenly that this wasn't how he wanted it to be. He clutched her hips, pulling himself away from her.
"No, why are you-" She started to protest, but she was interrupted with the way he spun her around and placed his lips over hers. She was lifted to the edge of the desk, her legs parted, and he was back inside of her in a matter of seconds.
"I want to see you," he whispered, pressing a kiss against her cheek.
She ran her hands over his face, pulling him back to look at him. "I want to see you too," she replied, a pleasurable smile spreading across her face as he started to move against her. She wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer. She leaned back on her elbows, arching her hips towards him.
He moved against her slowly, savoring the feel of every thrust, but he could already see in her eyes that she wasn't going to last long. He knew that he wasn't going to either. And something about it pained him. There moments together were too short and brief. He wanted just one morning where he could wake up with her in his arms. Where he could tell her how he really felt without compromising any other part of their lives.
She shifted her gaze to his, getting lost in the intensity of his eyes. She chewed her lip, sliding a hand down her body to grip one of his arms that was holding her tightly at the waist. She held his arm tightly, pumping herself against him. She felt the tremor start in his body, felt his hand slip between her legs. She threw her head back, calling out his name, when his thumb pressed against her bud.
He pulled her up against him quickly, muffling her moans with his mouth. He continued to touch her and she continued to cry out, one long moan after another into his mouth, her entire body trembling against the touch of his thumb. He slammed against her one more time before his own released burst inside of her. He growled her name into her mouth, his teeth clamping down on her lip so hard that he was sure he drew blood.
She let out a soft satisfying sigh as she pressed a soft kiss to his lips. She placed a hand over his chest, watching it slow to a steady pace as he caught his breath. "I'm sorry I hurt you last night. I never meant to-"
"I know," he replied, nuzzling his face against hers.
She titled her head to meet his eye, her hand cupping his cheek. "You were right. It scares me," she whispered, sliding her other arm around his waist. "This scares me more than anything."
"I know," he replied, wiping at the tears that were slipping down her face. "But it doesn't have to. This is good. This is right. Or else we wouldn't be doing it."
She kissed him, traced her tongue over his lips. "Can you wa-"
She was cut off by a pounding on the door, the shout of his name. "WHY THE HELL IS MY DOOR LOCKED?"
He cursed under his breath as he pulled away. "Just a second!" he called back.
"JUST A SECOND! YOU'RE IN MY OFFICE!"
He looked at her and could see she was panicking. She pushed around him to gather her clothes. She tugged her jeans on, slipped her feet into her shoes, then tossed her coat on, not bothering to take the time to put on any more of her clothes. She shoved the rest of her things into her purse.
He cursed again, pulling up his pants and snapping them. He grabbed his shirt from the floor, realizing how recklessly he had shoved everything from his bosses desk. "I'll get rid of him," he whispered, walking towards her. "I hate to ask you, but do you think you can clean this up?"
She nodded, not able to form any words. They had almost been caught. Red handed. Pants down. Bodies pressed together. Tongues in each others mouths.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered, pressing a kiss against her lips. He pressed his forehead against hers and stared into her eyes for a few seconds. He hated to leave her, hated to ask her to clean up the mess he'd made. "I don't want to go."
"It's okay," she replied, forcing a smile at him before he opened the door halfway then slipped out of it. She heard him murmur something about a warehouse. His boss objected briefly, but not too much because she heard their footsteps as they retreated.
She flicked the lock again immediately, then walked over to the desk and started to pick everything up from the floor. She paused, staring at the spot where they'd just been together. Falling back on her knees she cradled her head in her hands. She was almost thankful they'd been interrupted because had she said what she wanted to, everything would have changed.