The next day I drive up to La Push with Joel. As we drive up I spot Quil, and then, later, Paul. I have no doubt that they see me too, in a car that's not mine, with a strange boy next to me. I bet they've jumped to the wrong conclusion straight away. Leah's on the rebound.

I pull up and Seth comes tumbling out, over excitable little punk. Charlie's pleased to see me but he's on his way to see his bloodsucker daughter, and that freaky kid of hers.

Mom engulfs me in a hug as soon as she sees me. It's like she's trying to act more mumsey to keep me here or something. It's weird.

I notice Joel hanging back nervously, so I introduce him to Seth. He's still pretty quiet at first, but I have to hand it to Seth, he's such a nice kid he can quickly put people at ease.

Mom and I go up to my room. All my stuff is in boxes more or less. It's a bit of a shock to my room so bare to be honest. Helpful though.

We load my stuff into Joel's car and then Mom's made dinner so we stay for that and then Jake turns up with Charlie and Embry and Quil pop by to say hi and it all turns into a bit of a party. I'm worried for Joel at first, but he gets on well with Seth and Embry and he handles it really well.

After dinner Mom takes me to one side and tells me that Emily wants to see me. I unwillingly agree to go and see her.

I slip out of the back door and head into the woods, where I undress and phase. I run as fast as I can to Emily's house. The quicker I can get this over and done with the better.

I bump the door with my nose. Emily opens it.

"Leah?"

I whine in confirmation.

"Hold on." She disappears and comes back with a little bundle of clothes, which I take into the woods. These are Emily's clothes. This is almost as bad as when that leech Esme tried to lend me clothes. At least these don't reek of bloodsucker.

In my human form I return to the house and go straight in through the open door. Emily has two cups of coffee on the table. I sit. She looks nervous as hell. Good. We sit opposite each other in silence. I find I don't know what to say. She doesn't either. Well, I'm not going to say anything first. I don't care how awkward it is. I'm used to feeling awkward around people. Let her feel how I feel most of the time.

"Thank you for coming Leah." She says softly. "I didn't know if you would."

I shrug.

"It's about…the wedding"

"Which one?" I enquire politely, with just a hint of acid in my tone.

"Mine and…Sam's" she kind of chokes the words out. She looks a bit guilty. "I have a dress for you…if you still want to be bridesmaid of course."

"Of course I do." Because if I don't the whole of La Push will know how much of a bitter bitch I've become. Because they'll all know just how ripped up my heart is. Because I know that this isn't Emily's fault. Because she used to be my closest friend, practically a sister.

She smiles and jumps up.

"Do you want to see it?"

"You already have it?"

"I saw it and just couldn't resist."

I follow her into a little side room and she shows me my dress. I can't help it. I love it. It's a gorgeous fifties dress, just below the knee, white, with a forest green sash.

"Do you want to try it on?" Emily asks tentatively. She's still so ill at ease around me.

I nod and she lets me change. It fits perfectly. It's at that moment I realise that I can be happy for the both of them. I wanted Sam to be happy; I wanted Emily to be happy, but not together. I wanted Sam to be happy with me or at the very least with anyone but Emily, but I think I'm finally string enough to bear it.

I look at the clock.

"Crap! I've got to get back!" I gasp and begin to scramble out of the dress. "Joel will be wondering where the hell I've gone and I've left him at the mercy of my mother and the pack!"

Emily tries to help me get out of the dress quickly but we mess it up and I get all tangled up. We end up giggling hysterically as I try to get out of my twisted up dress. It's feels funny. Weird. Good.

She lends me a dressing gown and I leave it behind in the woods for her to collect after I phase. I run back and get dressed quickly, then leg it to the house. I burst through the back door and straight into Joel.

"Where have you been?" Joel asks curiously.

"I had to visit Emily" I whisper back.

Eventually Mom lets me and Joel head back. Joel drives. I stick the radio on loudly. I don't want to talk. I have some thinking to do.

Have I done the right thing? I'm part of a pack, the alpha's second. I shouldn't just abandon them like this, to a new scary life, where nothing is familiar.

Joel turns the radio down.

"I thought Emily was the cousin who stole your boyfriend." He accuses.

"Second cousin." I correct. "And yes she is. But I'm her bridesmaid."

"What?" Joel looks bewildered. "Why?"

"I don't know. To put a brave face on it I suppose. Look, I don't want to talk about it!" Like a kid I put my hands over my ears. We sit in silence for five minutes or so then Joel pulls over.

"What-what are you doing?" Don't you try anything with me sunshine.

"We're going to talk. You need to talk." He states calmly. I stare at him, infuriated.

"What? How can you say that? You don't even know me you twat." He doesn't seem to care that I've just called him a twat. He just sits there, waiting for me to speak.

I can't help it. The words fall out my mouth.

"It was about two years ago. Sam and I were going through some problems. He was acting weird and I didn't know why, but he was having a tough time and he couldn't tell me…but we were working it out." I pause and take a deep breath. "Then Emily comes up to visit me from the Makah rez and wham! - Sam falls in love."

"Love at first sight?" Joel sound sceptical. I nod.

"Emily turned him down at first, but then she got messed up-mauled by a bear- and Sam was there to help her through and…now I'm their bridesmaid. " I finish bitterly.

Joel says nothing but takes my hand and squeezes it. He starts the car and I realise that this is the first time in two years I have allowed myself to cry for Sam.