Back in her room, Alex sat on her bed, clutching at the quilt, and swallowed. Wow. That was... bigger than I expected. How's that supposed to fit? She swallowed, closed her eyes, and pushed the thought away with an effort. No. No. I am not supposed to be thinking about that. I just want to make Justin happy with me again.
Her mind immediately came out with several scenarios for making Justin happy, and Alex shut her eyes even more tightly. He's my brother! I am not supposed to be feeling like this. And he wasn't thinking about me, I'm sure. He was thinking about... about someone else.
Alex took several deep breaths, slowly, then finally opened her eyes again. "Okay," she said out loud, "freaking out is not what I need to be doing right now. I need to get back down there, and show Justin the nice breakfast I made for him, so he won't be mad at me any more. Isn't that right?"
She smiled then, letting go of the blankets, and looked around, holding her hands up. "Of course it's right. I'm the one who said it, and I'm always right about how to get people to do things. Duh." Standing up, Alex headed downstairs.
Halfway down the stairs, though, she stopped at what she saw. Max was out of bed, and at the table, and... oh no. "Max! Tell me you did not eat all of those pancakes!" She rushed down the stairs, taking them two at a time, crossed to the table, grabbed her younger brother by the back of his shirt, and lifted.
"Umm... okay. I didn't eat all of those pancakes?" Max offered with a hopeful grin. Strictly speaking, this was true -- there was a stack of three pancakes still on his plate, with only a few bites taken out of them. The rest of the pancakes Alex had made were gone, however, along with most of the bacon and tea.
Seeing the look in Alex's eyes, Max immediately dropped the cute act. "I was really, really hungry, since I couldn't keep anything down last night, and I thought you'd already eaten, since I was getting up late, and you know Justin -- he usually eats while he's cooking, since he says it saves time....
Wonderful. Not only did he eat all the pancakes, he thinks Justin made them. I can't get any credit around here. "Ahh! I made those! For Justin! Because --" She cut off suddenly. Because he spanked me last night? No. Let's not go there.
"Never mind why! Just... just... Ahh! I could kill you!" She shook her younger brother by the shirt.
Of course, it was right then that Justin came down the stairs. "Alex! What do you think you're doing?! You know Max is sick!"
She turned quickly, letting go of Max, who took the opportunity to flee up the stairs, passing Justin. "He... he ate all the pancakes I made!"
"Is that it?" Justin looked past her and frowned, then dug in his pocket, came out with money. "Well, go ahead and get going. You can buy some breakfast on the way to school. I'm staying home today to watch Max." His voice was short, clipped. Angry, Alex thought, feeling like there was something in her throat. He's still mad at me. Or mad at me again. Or something.
"But... but..." But those were for you, she wanted say. And, please don't be mad. Alex couldn't get the words out, though, and she shook her head jerkily instead.
"No 'but's," Justin said firmly, scowling just a little. "I know it's not the breakfast you wanted, but Max is sick. Cut him some slack, Alex. You're not the only one around here who gets to mess up." Justin looked his little sister up and down, taking in the bits of flour still on her face, hair, and hands. Sighing, he said, "Hold still. You've got some on you."
He grabbed a paper towel, dampened it quickly in the sink, then turned back to Alex, who was standing stock-still, like a frightened rabbit. Taking her chin with his left hand, he started to wipe carefully at her face and hair.
Alex watched him, eyes wide and unblinking. He was so close, and holding her like that... it made her feel funny, and she felt a tinge of panic as she recognized the feeling from last night. Oh no. Oh no. He's so close. I could lean forward a little, and go up on tiptoe, and I'd be kissing him... and he doesn't have any idea how I'm feeling, she thought with a sinking feeling. If he did know, he'd be even more mad at me. Oh Justin....
She's beautiful, Justin thought, taking more time than he needed to wipe the flour off Alex. No. Not just beautiful -- she's perfect. Even the flour just brings it out, reminds you that she's human, and touchable.... He swallowed, then, and took his hand off her jaw. Looking down, away from her face, he took her hand, cleaned it off carefully as well. His skin felt like it was tingling where it was touching hers, and he couldn't look at her... and then he was done, and released her hand, stepping away from her quickly, before the feeling could overtake him any more, and make him do anything else.
Justin looked back at her face, then. She was staring at him, eyes wide. Oh shit. She's feeling weirded out by that... gotta cover. "Okay. Get going already, before you're late. And we'll talk about your punishment for yelling at Max like that when you get back home."
"My punishment? He's the one who ate all the pancakes! Why aren't you talking to him?" Alex hadn't expected that at all, and even though her knees felt trembly at Justin mentioning punishment after last night, she knew how he'd expect her to react. "You are so unfair!"
"Maybe I am. But I'm the one Mom and Dad left in charge. So if you don't like the way I'm running things, take it up with them when they get back."
"Oh, great -- three more days of Dorktator Justin. Yes sir, yes sir, we'll do whatever you say, sir." Alex backed away from him, making bowing motions. "All hail the mighty Dorktater."
Justin bit back a reply, surprised at the anger he felt from Alex's teasing -- and the hurt. Normally, it was more an annoyance than anything else, but right now, it really hurt. Not trusting himself to say anything back, he turned away. "Just get to school."
She heard the hurt in his voice, and swallowed then, but she couldn't apologize. That wouldn't be something she'd do. Without another word, she grabbed her bag, then headed out the door.