Alex closed the door lightly behind herself, frowning slightly. She'd begged off from Harper walking with her, and had wrestled with mixed feelings all the way home. Was Justin going to spank her again? In part, she wanted him to -- wanted to feel that feeling again. But he was her brother. She shouldn't be feeling like this about him.

But I do. And -- Her train of thought was cut off as she saw Justin. "Hi," she said, and it came out sounding strange to her, but Justin didn't seem to notice.

"Hey. How was school?" He looked up at her as if actually interested. And he probably is. Leave it to Justin to think school would be interesting.

"Fine," she replied. "School was fine. Why wouldn't it be fine?" Oh my God, shut up shut up shut up! Alex's mouth didn't seem to be listening to her brain, though, as it kept going. "It's not like I'd go to school and, oh, get dumped. No, that's nothing that would've happened today."

"Dean dumped you?" Justin stood up, frowning, and stepped over to Alex. "Are you okay?"

"Sure. Sure I'm okay. I'm great. Why wouldn't I be okay? I'm just going to go to my room and be okay. Okay?" She stepped to the side, trying to get past him, but Justin moved with her.

"No. Not okay. I mean -- you're not okay. I can tell you're not okay, Alex." He took her upper arm with his hand, holding firmly, and Alex felt a funny lump in her throat. She looked up at Justin, tried to swallow, and blinked.

"I am. I am not okay. I mean -- I am okay, not. I, I mean...."

"Shh." Justin placed a finger to her lips. His finger. On her lips. His face. Just a few inches from hers. "You don't have to say anything. Here." And then he was holding Alex, both arms sliding around her. He was warm, and strong, and Alex wanted to just melt into his arms and stay there. "You don't have to pretend. I know you're hurt. I know you don't want anyone to know. You're my little sister, and I'm right here. I love you, Alex."

She started crying at that. Justin kept murmuring comforting words, but Alex wasn't really hearing them. All she heard was those words: "I love you, Alex." Justin meant them, she knew -- but not the way she was feeling it for him, not the way she wanted him to feel it for her.

But if this is all I can get, I'll take it. "Hold me," she got out, and Justin did, rocking his sister side-to-side. "It's okay. Dean's an idiot to dump you. You're beautiful, and funny, and I know you're smarter than you want people to know. It's okay. You'll find someone better."

Justin kissed Alex on the temple, once, twice, then stopped, but kept holding and rocking her as she cried. Give me five minutes alone with Moriarty, and I'll show him what real hurting is. He narrowed his eyes, concentrating on that anger, trying to use it to block out the other things he was feeling -- because Alex felt very, very good in his arms, and he found himself wanting to kiss those tears away, to kiss her all over her face, to go lower.... Bad train of thought. Go back to the station.

He could feel himself getting hard, and he angled his hips back a little, trying to hold them away from Alex without letting her go. She was still crying, getting his shirt wet, but he didn't care. "Cry all you need to. I'm here."

"Hey... is something wrong?"

They both started at Max's voice, then broke the hug. "Alex had a bad day," Justin answered, "so I was giving her a hug."

"Oh, yeah. I have those too. Like, last Tuesday, I forgot to do my homework for English, and had to do it all in Math. But Mark behind me kept wanting to look at it, so we both got in trouble, and got cleanup duty in the cafeteria. But it was pizza day, so that was okay, because we got all the leftover pizza we wanted."

Alex smiled a little at that. It was nice to know that even when everything seemed to be going crazy in her life, some things were still stable -- like Max being willing to eat things that she wouldn't touch, since she was sure he meant pizza other people had left. "Speaking of bad days, how are you? You look like you're feeling better."

"Yeah," Justin replied. "He's been running all over the place half of today. I think he saved it up when he was sick. And he's been eating everything in the house."

"Oh, yeah -- we're out of chips. Can you get more?" Max grinned.

"Sure," Justin replied with a grimace. Alex watched him, still smiling. He might complain, and be fussy, and be a little -- okay, a lot -- weird, but he took care of them. A surge of affection for him went through her, and she stepped back and dropped onto the couch to avoid doing anything that Max might find unusual. Remembering that she'd just been crying, she dug in her bag for tissues, got a few out, and started carefully wiping at her face.

The boys left her alone for a few minutes while they went through the kitchen cabinets and refrigerator, checking to see what was needed. Justin being Justin, he made a list, then copied it over to another sheet of paper, putting things in the order he'd be getting them, so he could check down it properly. Alex came over as he was finishing and leaned on the counter watching him.

"Are you going to find out who's been naughty and nice, too?" She couldn't keep from letting a bit of a teasing note slip into her voice.

Justin raised an eyebrow and looked at her. "I think I know which list you go on already."

Alex looked over, saw that Max had left the room for the moment. "That's right," she said then. "I'm a naughty girl. Do you like naughty girls, Justin?" She slid a little closer to him, so they were almost touching, and turned around, putting her face close to his. "I'll bet you do. You went out with Miranda, and she was all gothy. You want a naughty girl, don't you?"

She couldn't believe she was doing this -- oh, she'd teased Justin often enough, but not like this. And doing it was exciting her. She was naughty -- what could be worse than wanting her brother?

That brother's eyes were fixed on hers. There was something in Alex's eyes, Justin thought -- some expression there he'd never seen before. His hands felt funny, like he needed to be holding onto something. Something warm and rounded.... Justin's hand moved toward his little sister's waist, and it took far more effort to stop that movement than he expected.

Stop it. Think about this logically. Dean just dumped her; she's just looking for some attention, something to reassure her that she's pretty, and... and desirable. Oh, so damn desirable. Justin swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry, and moved his hand farther up, to Alex's cheek.

"If you weren't my sister," he said, very softly, "I'd be so after you." He touched her cheek, stroked it gingerly, smiling.

If you weren't my sister. At those words, Alex suddenly felt embarrassed. I'm coming on to my brother. What am I doing? What would Mom and Dad think?

"Th... thank you," she got out, feeling the heat of the blush rising to her face. She moved away from Justin, one step, two, had to take a third before she felt far enough away not to suddenly move into his arms. "I'm going to... to go lie down for a while. Okay?"

"Sure," Justin answered, and the look on his face now was guarded. She'd seen that look often enough -- it was the one he had when he thought she was pulling a prank on him, and it hurt to see it now. Oh, I want you so much, Justin. I just wish I could tell you.

She nodded to him, wanting to say something, to make him feel better, but with no idea what she could say. So Alex did the only thing she could -- she went up to her room, shut the door, hugged her pillows, and cried.