Chapter 10

London, 1820…

Elizabeth may not know much about being married, but she did know her husband was miserable, and that it was because of her. Every attempt she made to do something for him; be it through bringing him tea, making sure he had clean bed sheets, or simply giving a smile completely failed.

There were brief moments, like last night in the kitchen, when she was so sure he genuinely liked her. He worried about her hurting herself and often tried to comfort her when she became emotional, and he kept repeating that there was someone out there who did want her. Silly her, she actually thought he was talking about himself.

Perhaps her emotions were getting the best of her. Her father was the only man she'd been close to, and having Jason in her home forced her to feel all kinds of things, and she had no idea what to do with any of it. She was so confused about whether or not her feelings were sincere or if she thought she was feeling them because she was supposed to.

After all, Jason was her husband, and she should be pleasing him in every way. Not that she knew all of what that entailed, but Jason was clearly a man who knew exactly what he wanted, and he could easily tell her what to do. Or simply show her. Of course, that would mean admitting that his wife was incompetent in many ways, and maybe he didn't want Elizabeth to feel inferior.

Wasn't this whole situation – the engagement, the hushed and hurried marriage – all about making her inferior?

She hated him for this; for making her feel things and confusing her in every possible way, and mostly she hated him for not wanting her. It wasn't kind of him to tease her the way he did. Stroking her hands tenderly with his rough fingers or whispering sweet sentiments in a tone of voice she wasn't used to hearing from anyone. She wanted him to genuinely care about her because…because she cared about him, and it only seemed fair.

Was he not the least bit concerned about pleasing her in every way? Or was he that firm about all of this being about her father? Did he not feel anything for her? She was his wife and had just as many needs as he did, and she wanted him to at least enjoy her company, unless she was truly that impossible.

Sighing, she smoothed her hands over the front of her dress and looked herself over in her bedroom mirror. Maybe she wasn't as beautiful as the women that Jason was used to chasing after, but how gorgeous were wenches anyway? She had overly plump lips that this awful boy used to tease her about when they were children, but she'd always found them attractive; maybe even luscious and full. A man was supposed to like that kind of thing, right?

She'd always been particularly fond of her hair. It was as dark as chestnuts, full and curly. On a good day it tightened into fat, round curls, and she always wished she could leave it long and flowing instead of pinning it to the back of her head. She liked to think she had pretty eyes too, though some might say they were a little too round, but were eyes that important?

When she thought it, there was no reason for Jason not to want her, unless it really did come down to experience. It made sense for a man to want a woman who knew exactly what she was doing;, it wasn't as if she were the first virgin to exist in all the world.

"Elizabeth?" came Jason's rough voice, followed by a knock on her door.

"Just – just a moment," she stammered, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment as if he actually knew what she was thinking. Grabbing a pin from her dresser, she swept up a loose curl as she made her way over to the door, trying to forget the awful incident that had occurred the night before.

"Forgive me for taking so long," she murmured, opening her door to find Jason in a trimly buttoned shirt and trousers and his usual unkempt hair neatly combed. She would have told him he looked handsome, but she doubted he wanted to hear such a comment. "I assumed you'd want to go early…" Her voice trailed off when she noticed he was holding a tray of food in his hands.

"I wanted to leave you something to eat," he muttered, his eyes sweeping over her and lingering on her dress. "I wasn't sure if you were coming out of your room or not."

She stepped back and held her hands across her middle, looking at him confused. "Are we not visiting Sonny this afternoon?"

"Oh, well, I thought…" He cleared his throat, making it clear he had no idea what he thought anymore.

"Last night you…" She shook her head and turned away, walking across her bedroom to the window. A lot of things had been said last night, some not even needing to be spoken, and she had clearly misunderstood so much. Now he wanted nothing to do with her period. "Leave the food on the table by the door. We can see Sonny another time…or you can find another way that doesn't involve in me."

"Elizabeth, I-"

"Do not need my help," she interrupted, sliding the curtain away from the window and peering outside. She'd honestly been looking forward to being outside in the afternoon sun. "Leave the food, please. I'll see you at dinner if you think you can manage to sit across the table from me."

"Elizabeth-"

"Leave," she hissed, closing the curtain and turning to face him. She was surprised by how…upset he appeared as he dropped the traytable onto the tabletray and stared at her in disbelief. "Really, Jason, I understand very clearly now. There is no need to worry. You handle my father's case to the best ofto your ability, and I'll sit here and be the dutiful, submissive wife." She shifted her eyes to his and held his gaze for nearly an entire minute, amused that he appeared dumbfounded. "Only I won't be submissive in all ways."

He sucked in a breath, his face reddening at her words, and just when she thought he'd completely explode, he turned and walked off of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Jason shut the door to his bedroom so hard the wood cracked around the hinges, but he paid it no attention, intent of finding something to smash or tear apart that would relax him. Jerking the coffee mug from his nightstand, he sent it flying across the room and felt the tiniest pang of relief when it shattered against the wall. It only took smashing the few candlesticks he had lying around the room, the mirror on the wall, and kicking his unpacked suitcase across the floor before he started to calm down.

Elizabeth Webber – No, Elizabeth Morgan r…Morgan, he corrected, was either the smartest or stupidest woman he'd ever met, and he wasn't going to believe she was the latter. Turning on him and becoming so cold because he hadn't done what she wanted. Hell, he didn't even know what she wanted, and he doubted that she had any idea. She was just a silly, young girl probably playing on some fantasy of being a wife because she believed she'd never have the chance again.

But with how things were looking regarding Jeffrey's case, she may not have to worry about being alone because she'd be stuck with Jason forever. Or at least until he convinced her to go back to Italy where she could find a life of her own. Of course, there was always the possibility that they'd drive one another completely mad before it was said and done.

Groaning, he undid the first few buttons of his shirt, trying to catch his breath as he fanned himself. He'd done nothing but try to make this situation with her easy. Sure, he may have been impatient and rude when he first arrived, but he wasn't used to dealing with a woman like her. So innocent and pure that they hadn't a clue about the world yet thought they knew everything. Maybe most men would take advantage of the situation, but he wouldn't use Elizabeth – even if she wanted to use him.

Every action was motivated by his determination to free Jeffrey, and so what if he didn't want his daughter to be miserable. That wasn't a bad thing, and he wasn't some horrid man like Elizabeth was making him out to be.

Yes, he worried about her well being, especially when it came her being so accident prone and oblivious to what was going on around her.

Yes, he wanted her to be happy when she had so much to offer, but was so stilted by what had happened with her father.

Did he want to protect her? And even be the one to make her happy? Of course, he did, but it wasn't like she had anyone else around to do it. Jason Morgan was the sole man in her life, and that put a lot of pressure on his shoulders, especially when the damn woman was so set on getting something he wasn't going to give her.

Not that he didn't want to.

It was impossible not to look at her and imagine what it would be like. To know that he could easily pull her into his arms and coax out sounds and feelings she'd never had before – and better yet, that he'd be the first man to do make her feel that way.

She was beautiful in every way; gorgeous, chocolate curls that he just knew would feel like silk around his fingertips, soft, plump lips that would feel like velvet against his own. And he even liked to think about how her wide, blue eyes would sparkle when he touched her. He wanted her, probably more than he had ever wanted a woman before, but the fierceness of his desire was what made him think again.

In the past, he'd never pursued a woman. As conceited as it may sound, they simply came to him, and that was all he ever needed. And it wasn't that he didn't wish to pursue Elizabeth – he liked to think it would be quite fun, but it was the fact that she was the kind of woman who deserved to be pursued.

Something of which he had no idea how to go about.

Then there was the fact that she was the daughter of one of the most important men in Jason's life. He knew that in Jeffrey's eyes they were married and consummation and adoration and all those types of actions and feelings that came with being married would ensue, but it didn't stop him from worrying about ruining her.

She was so pure and with so much as the wrong flick of his finger, he could leave her wasted in his path. Hurt and alone – though maybe that was where she was headed anyway.

What if Johnny was right? What would happen if he freed Jeffrey? Would the man expect him to stick around and stay married to his daughter? Or would he understand that it was all for show?

Jason knew that if Jeffrey wanted him to stay married to Elizabeth – well, that it would leave him with only two choices. To either cut ties with the man who had once saved his life or stay married to a woman who hated him.

It was just so confusing.

He had no idea how Johnny managed to survive being married after all these years. His friend just may be onto something with all the advice he was spewing, but none of it helped him figure out what to do with Elizabeth. He was kind and gentle, and she was throwing herself at him, offering to make him happy in every possible way…unless she didn't know what exactly that offer entailed.

So, she wasn't stupid. Just clueless. She could have been offering to cook him dinner or change his sheets or just to go for a walk, and here he was thinking that she was begging to be taken to bed.

Shaking his head, he sat down on the edge of bed and rested his elbows on his knees as he cradled his face. Or she was smart enough to know that turning Jason away so coldly only turned him on more.

Damn her.

Scowling, he fell back against the bed and stared up at the ceiling, contemplating how to figure out exactly what she wanted, and what he was going to do when he did.

Nibbling her lip, Elizabeth ran her fingers across the spines of the books lining her father's bookshelf, failing to find anything that she actually wanted to read. Spinelli had bought every paper in town that morning, but she'd already gotten through them all, and she needed something so mind-numbing it would prevent her from thinking about Jason in the slightest bit.

Carly had always told her that men were complicated, and the woman should know because she had enough troubles of her own. She'd been married once and gone on to have several risqué relationships with various men in town, saying she always fell the hardest for the ones who couldn't love her the right way, but needed her to love them.

Elizabeth had never quite understood what she meant till now and had spent the greater part of the afternoon trying to articulately apply it to her situation with Jason. Even now, hours later, she couldn't stop thinking about it. At first, she wondered if it was because she'd skipped dinner in an attempt to avoid him completely, which only made her think about him more, and realized that there really was no way to stop thinking about him entirely. He was consuming her, and she hated him for it.

It wasn't that she'd fallen in love with the stupid man by any means, but he did make her feel things which he obviously didn't feel in return. She wondered if that was how it was going to be – if he would never return her sentiments, thus never really wanting her the way she did him, but needing her nonetheless.

Oh, men.

They were just far too confusing for her with their inability to speak and confess, or maybe Jason wasn't used to having to do either. He was one of the most handsome men she'd ever seen – not that she'd seen many really, but still, she imagined there were few who could compete. And if he really was a Viscount as was said, women surely longed for him, and he'd made it clear he had no problem with taking a wench to bed.

That disgusted her the most – to know that he could allow himself to get close to a woman whose name he didn't even know, yet he hated the idea of Elizabeth knowing him period…unless that was point. He was so secretive about who he was and his life and maybe he didn't want her to know anything which only made her ask why.

He couldn't have been a bad man if her father asked him to come and look after her, and while he had been rough in the beginning, he was kind now, except that he pulled away when she got close. She wanted him to trust her and tell her things, which wasn't fair seeing as she'd done so little of that on her end.

Closing her eyes, she leaned forward and rested her head against the bookcase, wishing that she were anywhere but here. The house was so different now without her father; quieter, less hustle and bustle of patients, no sound of the staff scurrying around the house. It was like there was nothing, and she was forced to live among it.

"Eliza-"

"Do you have to do that?" she cried, spinning around, a hand pressed to her chest as Jason entered the study.

"Do what?" he asked, pushing the door half closed as he looked at her.

"You're always appearing out of thin air."

"Should I announce myself when I enter the room?" he asked teasingly.

She pursed her lips together, ignoring the handsome smirk that spread across his lips. "I would appreciate it. I feel like I have to be on guard in my own home."

"From now on, I'll announce that Jason Morgan is preparing to enter whatever room it is I've come across," he replied, walking over to the desk and flipping through a stack of papers.

"Thank you," she hissed, annoyed that he was making fun of her.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked, sitting down on the edge of the desk and tipping his head towards her.

She frowned and looked towards the door, not sure if there was some rule now about this room being forbidden. "I was…I was looking for a…book."

"A book?" he asked, his mouth hitching into a wide grin that made his eyes soften.

"Yes, contrary to what you believe, I do know how to read," she hissed, narrowing her gaze.

"I wouldn't doubt such," he replied, pushing himself up from the desk and slowly walking over to her.

"I wasn't – wasn't prying," she said defensively, backing up against the bookcase. "I told you that my father's case is on your shoulders now. I am going to stay in the background."

"You didn't come to dinner," he muttered, coming to a stop in front of her, his eyes sweeping over the books.

"I wasn't sure if you'd want to eat with me," she replied, chewing her lip when he moved in his closer.

"You've misconstrued everything that happened last night." He dropped his eyes to hers, and she tried to ignore how close he was, the way he smelled, how easily he could have pinned her against the bookcase…and well, she had no idea what he would do, but she doubted she'd even like it.

"You tease me," she said seriously, craning her neck in an attempt so that she could stare him in the eye and not have to look up at him. "You take care of me. You hold me. You mock me. You tell me someone wants me, all the while doing those things which would lead anyone with a brain to assume that you're the one who wants me, only you don't. I thought we surpassed this marriage being some silly game, unless I was wrong and that's all-"

"I never said I didn't want you," he interrupted, his voice thick and rough in that tone that made her tingle.

"Your actions spoke for you," she replied seriously. "I offered – offered to do what it takes to make you happy-"

"Because you feel obligated as some wifely duty," he cut in, shaking his head. "I'd rather you make me miserable if that's what you really want."

"You don't know what I really want," she said softly, her hands braced against the shelves at her sides. "You never even asked…"

He sucked in a breath, tipping his head to the side as he looked down at her. "What do you want, Elizabeth?"

"I – I don't really know," she admitted, suddenly feeling more vulnerable than she'd like to be.

"Exactly," he grunted, starting to turn away, but she reached out grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"You…I don't know what I'm feeling," she shrugged, wanting him to do anything but walk away from her. "I've never felt these things and…I think that I want…"

"You've never been involved with a man before," he said, his voice still rough and low.

She started to shake her head, but stopped and looked up at him shyly, her hand still wrapped loosely around his wrist. "Well, not – not exactly."

"You've never even been kissed," he commented, shaking his head as if that were the most unbelievable thing imaginable.

"No," she argued, her cheeks flushing at her confession. "I was…once. I didn't rightly want him to kiss me though."

Jason grunted, unable to hide his amusement. "I take it that didn't exactly go over well?"

She couldn't help but smile, suddenly feeling relaxed and less worried that he'd find her ridiculous. "No. I – I stomped his foot, which only made him howl." She dropped her eyes from his face and leaned back against the bookcase. "It wasn't good…at all."

"I see," he muttered, letting her words soak in. He pulled his hand from her wrist to gently hold her palm in his. "And if… – if I were to kiss you?"

"Oh," she whispered, her eyes widening with surprise. "Well…I don't suppose I'd stomp your foot." Swallowing hard, she lifted her eyes back to his. "And hopefully you wouldn't howl afterwards."

"I don't imagine I would," he murmured, lifting a hand to cup her cheek.

Her eyes closed instantly, and she couldn't stop herself from nuzzling against his palm. His touch was as warm and tender as she thought it would be, and she suddenly wanted to feel his hands everywhere.

"Jas-" She started only to be cut off as he gently placed his mouth to hers.

His lips were soft and warm and one brush of them to hers took her breath away. She melted into him instantly, fisting one hand in his shirt as she linked her fingers in his with the other. Her lips parted as she sighed, and she felt his tongue flick across her lower lip, tugging it into his mouth. She started to pull away, surprised by his eagerness, but he murmured that it was okay, and suddenly nothing else mattered.

It felt natural, to be standing there with Jason's arms around her, his tongue slowly making its way into her mouth and finding her own. The initial touch of them together caused her to moan, and he tightened his arms around her, and she pressed herself against him, wanting to feel so much of him at once.

"Jason," she panted, dropping her head to his shoulder as his mouth brushed over her cheek, and then found her neck. She felt dizzy and faint as if she could barely catch her breath, but didn't want any of this to stop.

Her pants turned into a moan as he gently pushed her back against the bookcase, his mouth sucking at the tender flesh of her neck as he thrust his hips against her. Her voice was loud and foreign, so different than usual, and she immediately tried to stifle the next moan that begged to come from her lips.

"Don't," he said, pulling his head back to look at her. "It's okay."

"I just…I don't…."

His mouth was on hers before she could finish her thought, and she was lost in the way his tongue swirled so soothingly around hers and his teeth sank into her lower lip, drawing it into his mouth. She moaned – louder this time – when he rocked against her, feeling her stomach tightened every time his hips met hers.

"Sir, is everything-"

"Spinelli!" Jason snarled, pushing himself away from the bookcase and wiping his hand over his mouth.

"Forgive me, sir…I heard…I thought…" Spinelli shook his head and looked between the two of them, his eyes lingering on Elizabeth.

She let out a whimper, mostly embarrassed to have been caught in a compromising position. Her eyes shot to Jason's, who looked away from her immediately, and she couldn't help but feel that he regretted what had just happened. She smoothed a hand over her neck as if to wipe away where his mouth had touched her, she started for the door and stammered an apology over her shoulder, feeling terrible when she heard Jason barking at Spinelli behind her. Tears pricked her eyes as she hurried up the stairs, desperate to put herself as far away from the entire situation as possible.

Once she made it to her room, she slammed the door, pressing her back against it as she slowly lowered herself to the floor. She wasn't sure how long she sat there, the touch of his lips still burning her mouth, her stomach still on fire from how he'd moved against her. Her heart lifted in her chest when she heard the floorboards creak in the hallway, and she knew it was Jason hesitating outside her door.

Only this time, he didn't knock.