Chapter 16
London, 1820…
Elizabeth couldn't meet her husband's eye as she sat across from himin at the dining room table, pretending instead to be enamored by the array of breakfast foods the cook had served. She'd been going on for several minutes about eggs and bacon and the variety of pastries, knowing that she sounded completely insane, but it was easier than actually talking to her husband this morning. She was nervous, scared even, and she could sense that Jason knew all of this.
"You aren't eating," she murmured, smoothing cloth her cloth napkin over her lap with shaky hands.
"Not hungry," he replied, narrowing his gaze at her as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the edge of the table.
"You're always hungry," she pointed out, sliding her hands beneath her thighs, hoping to steady them.
"Not always for food," he muttered, his lips twitching into a grin as she blushed. His eyes swept over her face, dipping down the front of her dress, and she wondered what exactly he was thinking about.
"Jason, that's hardly appropriate talk for the breakfast table," she scolded, turning hot at the thought of what else he was hungry for.
"Forgive me," he apologized, folding his napkin up and tossing it onto the table. "I'll save it for later."
"You're terrible," she laughed, shaking her head as she tore off a piece of pastry and slipped it into her mouth, desperate to do something that would make her stop thinking about him. He grinned secretively, not arguing her statement, and it only made her…hotter.
They hadn't had a moment alone since yesterday afternoon in the garden, and it was already wearing on them both. She couldn't think, let alone sleep, eat, or go about herdo any other daily routine because she kept thinking about his mouth, his hands, and all those things he could – would – do with them.
She had hoped that after her second nap of the day – all these frustratinged, hot flashes were leaving her so exhausted – she would find Jason and actually get somewhere with whatever it was they were starting. Well, she wasn't that innocent as to what would obviously occur between them, but all of it was still new to her. Lulu and Carly, mostly Carly, often talked about their escapades and Elizabeth never could understand what they went on about, butand now that she knew, she wished she had someone to talk to.
"Can I get you anything else?"
Elizabeth's head snapped towards the doorway where Sonny stood, a tight smile on his face. The image was so familiar; stiff arms at his sides, his jacket pressed and neatly buttoned, but much of it was different. Or rather, the feelings that came with seeing him.
Sending Sonny away had been terribly difficult for her. He'd been around since she was a little girl, and she remembered his presence as strongly as her father's, but those days after the incident – well, they left her no choice. It was hard enough to live with what had happened on her own, and she didn't need someone else looking at her with knowing eyes as they, too, drowned in the absence of her father.
Jason looked expectantly at Elizabeth, but she simply shrugged, shifting her eyes from Sonny and back to her pastry, relieved when her husband dismissed him.
When all of this started; when Jason first arrived and started ordering her around, she hadn't thought about the mess that he was stepping into. He was in knee deep and then some now, and while she didn't know what exactly was going on with her father's case, she had no doubt that he would stop at nothing to free him.
And she just didn't know what to think about that.
She could have been honest from the beginning, choosing to work with him, instead of against him, because now, the more she was around him, and the more things she felt for him, she knew she'd made a mistake. Seeing Sonny had reminded her of that; how a secret can be so heavy it changes everything between two people. Regardless of whether it was intentional or not, what had happened that night between her and Lucky changed the way both men saw and her, and Sonny's presence only reminded her of that.
"Elizabeth, please tell me what's wrong," Jason murmured quietly, pushing his chair back from the table. He got up slowly, making his way to the other side where she was sitting, and hesitantly sunk down beside her. "Does…does he know about…?"
She nodded, tilting her heads towards her husband, but notdidn't lifting her eyes. "He knows."
"He knows what Luc – what happened to you?" Jason asked nervously, sliding his arm over the back of her chair. He reached out and brushed the back of her neck with his fingertips, causing her to shiver.
"Yes," she whispered, letting out a shaky breath. "He knows…everything." She fisted her napkin in her hands, suddenly feeling as though she was coming apart at the seams. After all, how long could a secret stay hidden when two people were forced to look at one another day after day while knowing what no one else knew?
Jason's eyes darkened and he drew his hand away, clearing his throat. "He knows what, exactly?"
"Everything," she repeated, slumping forward in defeat, and hating that Jason would find out like this. She should have been honest from the beginning.
"I – I don't understand," he stammered, shaking his head. He started to touch her again, but stopped. "Are you saying that your father-"
"Excuse me, sir."
"Yes?" Jason asked curtly, lifting his eyes to Sonny who'd reappeared in the doorway.
"Mr. and Mrs. Zacchara have arrived," he answered, nodding politely before excusing himself as if knowing he'd interrupted something serious. "Where should I have them wait?"
"Bring – bring them in here," Elizabeth answered, finding her voice and cutting Jason off before he could reply. She dusted her hands off on the skirt of her dress and scooted her chair back. "We'll have to…finish…"
"Later," he agreed, looking relieved that she wanted to finish this conversation. Not like it wasn't as if she had a choice at this point. She started to turn towards the door, but he gently grabbed her hand, pulling her towards him. "I have to go into later today. Johnny is going with me. I thought maybe Nadine and the boys could keep you company while I was gone."
"That sounds lovely," she sighed, stretching to press a kiss to his cheek. She leaned into him long enough to feel safe and secure, to feel as if this might be alright.
"Elizabeth, if this can't wait till then..." he started, stopping when she shook her head.
"I'd like to enjoy this day." She smiled faintly, turning back to the doorway with a grin when the boys burst loudly into the room, their parents in tow.
"She's happier, I think," Jason murmured, leaning against the door of the carriage as he scrubbed a hand over his face. "But there's something she's not telling me."
"You've only been here a day," Johnny shrugged, giving his friend a hopeful smile. "You have to give it some time. What about you? How are you holding up? I got chills when I stepped into that house so I know it must be strange for you."
"I'm fine," he said, hurrying to brush his friend's comments aside. "I'm more worried about Elizabeth. I can handle the ghosts that exist in that house as long as it helps her."
"She won't change overnight. You remember how Nadine was – she was scared, always on edge-"
"Elizabeth isn't like that," he interrupted, sighing heavily. "She, uh, - he didn't rape her."
"Oh," his friend murmured in surprise.
"But he tried," Jason finished, hanging his head. "She has moments where she's perfectly fine, but then something happens, and she's lost all over again."
"You mean like it triggers a memory?"
"I suppose," he answered confused. "I honestly believed that having Sonny here would help her, and she was so excited to see him last night, but today – she tells me he knows everything."
"Doesn't surprise me," Johnny replied sadly. "The help knows more than we do sometimes."
"Exactly," he agreed, "and she told me he knows. That he knows everything."
"As in who really killed him," he said, following Jason's train of thought. "Do you think it was Sonny? That maybe-"
"I don't think so," he cut in, shaking his head firmly. "He cares about Elizabeth. I can see that when he looks at her, but Elizabeth sees something – in his eyes, I guess. He looks at her like he knows something, I think, and that scares her."
"Because she doesn't want you to know," Johnny suggested, looking away when Jason narrowed his eyes at him.
From the beginning, Johnny had tossed around the possibility that Elizabeth had something to do with the murder, but he refused to see it. She was so small and frail, and if she were being attacked by a much bigger and stronger man, there was no way she could fight him off unless…someone helped her.
Scowling, he rubbed his hands over his face, tired of going through the same information over and over in his head. "Sonny made this deal. He offered us information in exchange for coming here to work."
"Do you think he has something to hide?" Johnny asked, arching his eyebrows worriedly.
"I do," he nodded, clenching his jaw. "The truth."
"I don't understand why Elizabeth and Jeffrey would lie for him," he argued, not believing Jason's accusation.
"Loyalty. Sonny gave histheir life to themhim, and Jeffrey gave his in return. That's even if Sonny had anything to do with it. I just know he wanted to be near Elizabeth for a reason. He wanted this job. It wasn't about the money."
"Did you ever think maybe he's worried about you?" Johnny asked, cracking a grin as he laughed. "Same reason Carly probably disliked you too."
"Oh, stop," he huffed, glaring at him. "I may not be the most decent of men, but I would never hurt her, and if they think that…"
"Quite defensive," Johnny commented, his eyes lighting up. "Protective of the misses, I see."
"Stop," he hissed, turning to look out the window, mostly to keep himself from pummeling his friend in a confined space. Not that it would have been the first time.
"It's good, I think," he shrugged happily, which caused Jason to groan. "You care about her. Not just because of Jeffrey or because she's your wife. You care. About her. It's nice."
"Shut up," he muttered, refusing to have this conversation with Johnny. He was so damn happy about marriage and commitment that it left Jason practically disgusted, which was very annoying considering it used to completely disgust him
Except now he had a wife; an attractive, witty, annoying wife that wanted him as badly as he wanted her, and he wasn't sure what to do about that. He meant what he told her yesterday -; about still not wanting a lifelong commitment - , except now all he could think about was taking his wife and getting her the hell out of London, to hell with everything else.
But there was her father.
And the idea of being saddled with a wife, which meant children and responsibilities, and well, none of those had ever gone very well for him.
"Jason?" Johnny asked, snickering to himself as he looked over at him, a heavy frown on his face.
"Will you name the first born after me?" he quipped, ducking and covering his head when Jason's fist flew out.
"You are quite the natural with children," Nadine murmured, sitting down beside Elizabeth on the terrace, trying to catch her breath. She'd just separated the boys for the third time in the last hour, and it was starting to wear on her.
"I suppose it comes from helping my father with his patients," Elizabeth shrugged, shifting a sleeping Amalia in her arms. She started to hold her out to her mother, but Nadine waved her hand.
"You have no idea how wonderful it feels to have both arms free," she laughed, clucking her tongue as she watched the boys chase one another across the yard. "I have no idea what I'm going to do with them when they're older."
"Pray they find a woman who can change them," she joked, rocking the baby gently in her arms. She'd been tending to herher to for an hour or so, and it was a strange feeling to hold a child, and it left her with an ache she couldn't rightly describe.
"Well, the right woman can work wonders," she agreed, giving her a warm smile. "You've done quite well with Jason, I think. Or at least things appear to be better." She blushed and shook her head. "There I go, not-so-subtly prying into something that's none of my business. It really is a wonder that more people don't-"
"No, it's fine," Elizabeth interrupted, relieved to have someone to talk to. "It's good…to have someone to talk to about Jason."
Her eyes softened. "Things aren't good?"
"Well, they are complicated," she answered honestly, feeling less anxious now that she was being honest. "I feel like we get close and then we pull apart again, which is understandable, I suppose. There are so many things I haven't told him."
"And that he hasn't told you," Nadine added seriously. "Don't put all the pressure on yourself. Jason is private and secretive, which is probably why you two get along so well. You're the moust trustworthy kinds of friendpeople because people can tell you anything, but sometimes holding onto that trust makes things more difficult."
She had no idea how this woman seemed to understand everything, leaving her to wonder if Jason and Johnny were more alike than she imagined. At least, such a thought gave her hope when she looked at Nadine and her beautiful children. Maybe Jason would come around in more ways than she believed, and even if he didn't, she wasn't going to pressure him. She wanted what she could have because she'd never have this chance again, and that desire to have this – whatever you could call her and Jason – was taking a toll on her in more ways than she ever thought possible.
Nadine was talking about this honest and trustworthy person, but she'd shown Jason nothing of the sort. She was quiet and private, letting him in a little bit at a time, but any progress was countered by something stressful or upsetting, and it all seemed worthless.
"Do you like being here?" she asked, swearing under her breath when one of the older boys knocked the littlest over, and he started to cry. She let out a sigh of relief when he didn't come running to her and went after his brothers instead.
"Yesterday was nice. We fought, which isn't anything new, but by the end of the day…" She trailed off thinking about the garden again, and she tried to push such thoughts from her mind because they were the last thing she needed to be thinking.
"It is easier?" she asked nervously, looking Elizabeth over in a way that made her uneasy. "Oh, there I go, doing it again. I don't mean to pry at all. I just – Jason was worried about you, concerned about how you were doing in the city and…I just – I want to make sure you're okay. I've said it before – that I know he can be controlling and annoying and impossible, and I want you to know that when he's like that in the most over bearing of ways, it is because he cares."
"That's nice to hear." She smiled, dropping her eyes to the baby's face. "Sometimes I never know what he's thinking. He'll act afraid to speak to me or even look at me, let alone touch me, and then he has those moments where he says and does anything, and I…" She shrugged, lifting her eyes to Nadine. "I wish he could find balance, but I know this situation is hard for us all."
"Patience is the key to co-existing with any man," she said with a grin, pointing at her boys. "I should know. I have enough of them in my life." Elizabeth laughed as she got up from the chair, starting towards the boys who were piled in a heap and throwing punches. It was strange to envy Nadine for her loud, screaming and fighting children, but she couldn't help it. Sighing, she shifted Amalia in her arms, cooing softly at the baby when her eyes fluttered open, blinking as she adjusted to the sunlight. "I hope life is much easier for you. That things stay as beautiful as I remember them being."
"Elizabeth?" She looked over her shoulder to see Sonny making his way over. "Dinner is almost ready."
"It's that late?" she asked, frowning as she got up from the chair. Jason said he may be gone for a while, but that he'd try to make it back in time for dinner, and she couldn't help but feel uneasy. There was so much they needed to discuss, and she was afraid that her determination to tell the truth would falter before she saw him again, and she'd go back to lying.
"There's probably an hour or two left of the sun," he answered, giving her a warm smile. "Are you alright?"
"I'm still getting used to things. Being married, moving, and now you," she admitted apprehensively, not wanting to offend him.
"It's an odd rush of emotion," he agreed, frowning as he looked away. "I was told you saw your father. How was he?"
"As well as can be expected," she answered quietly, feeling guilty that she hadn't thought about him a lot in the past couple of days. And she'd spent the afternoon dreaming of possibilities between her and Jason; none of this was fair.
"You know what your husband is trying to do," Sonny said seriously, shifting his eyes back to her. "I just hope he knows what exactly he's uncovering."
"It's getting late," Johnny said, wiping the condensation from his mug of beer with his hand.
"Yeah," Jason agreed, taking a slow sip from his beer as he looked around the pub.
They'd come to town to check into some information his friend had gathered on Richard Lansing, hoping to find some sort of skeleton they could use against him, but the man seemed to keep up on things. Everyone who passed on tidbits agreed that Richard was scathing and cruel, so there had to be something. However they were going up against the law and finding something was unlikely, so Jason had turned his attention to Sonny.
Something about the man was completely unsettling, and now he wanted to find out as much as possible, which wasn't enough to amount to anything. They'd asked around and found out his son, Michael, appeared to be nothing more than a thieving drunk. He had a list of arrests that should have kept him in prison, but somehow he kept getting released. Their curiosity had led them to the pub because it was the perfect place to ask around about people without being too obvious, only not many seemed willing to talk about the Corinthos family, just like no one wanted to talk about Lansing.
"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in," a husky female voice purred behind him, and Jason couldn't refrain from rolling his eyes when he felt an arm slide over the back of his chair.
"Nice to you see you," Johnny muttered, tossing a glare over his shoulder at his sister. "I see not much has changed."
"I heard Jason Morgan was back in town, and I just had to make an appearance," she said, squeezing Jason's shoulder. "How is my baby brother's best friend? We all thought you'd gone away for good and now you're back and married to the town harlot."
"What? Upset that someone took your title?" Jason hissed, gritting his teeth as he jerked away from her.
"Aw, just as frisky as you always were," she teased, flashing him a flirty smile. "At least your wife lets you out to play."
Jason swore under his breath and shot Johnny a look, giving his friend a chance to handle the situation before he did.
"Claudia, go pick up on some other poor chap. Jason's all taken care of," he said, trying to be patient.
"How is the misses?" she pressed, ignoring her brother. "Daddy's in prison. She's all alone. You must have had a time with her." Jason sunk his teeth into his tongue, refusing to let her goad him into a crude response. "I'm trying to have some fun boys. You're both so uptight."
"Better than being too loose," Jason muttered, shooting his friend an apologizing look, but Johnny didn't seem to mind. They were too used to Claudia's antics; it had been a while though.
"Still a quick one. I like that," she grinned, poking him in the arm. "So, what gives, boys? I know you two aren't out for a good time. Rumor has it, someone's out to set Jeffrey Webber free, and Richard Lansing is anything but happy about that."
Jason perked up, suddenly glad that he hadn't been too harsh with her. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought of going to Claudia before. She got around, always had, and because of that she knew everything that went on around London. "What do you know, Claudia?"
Her eyes shimmered as she looked him up and down. "Oh, an attitude change, Jason. I like it."
"What do you know?" he repeated, refusing to play games.
"I know Richard was away for a little while and now that he's back, he's more than upset that you've been sniffing around his case. He may even try to move the trial date up, but he's still hoping to find the real-"
"Selling yourself as usual?" a man asked, gripping Claudia's arm and jerking her away from Jason and her brother. She rolled her eyes and held a hand up to signal that she was fine, which was good because Johnny looked ready to pounce. His sister may have been a whore, but he wasn't going to let everyone call her that.
"This is my brother and his oldest friend," she murmured, pulling herself away and motioning back and forth between the men. "Richard meet Jason Morgan and Johnny Zacchara." Her eyes widened as she flashed a sneaky grin before slipping off through the crowds, leaving Jason to wonder if this whole situation wasn't planned.
"I believe it's about time we've met," Richard said, holding out his hand and laughing to himself when neither man took it. "We can't put our differences aside and have a drink?"
"We have nothing to say to you," Johnny replied stiffly, turning back to the bar and picking up his beer.
"You obviously have something to say," he muttered, grinning widely at Jason. "How is married life treating you? It was nice of you to go to such extremes to keep the marriage hush, but nothing gets by me."
"My marriage is none of your concern," Jason murmured, his jaw ticking.
"No, it's definitely not," he said smugly, scratching his chin. "Been there, done that, and Elizabeth was too cold to be any fun. Who wants a frigid woman who backs away every time you touch her?" He grinned when Jason stepped forward, his fists clenched at his sides, clearly enjoying upsetting him. "I should be thankful that she chose Spencer over me because look at how he ended up. It's a sad story really, but at least you'll be her happy ending, right?"
"You don't know what you're talking about," he warned, stopping himself when Johnny grabbed his arm, knowing what was about to happen.
"I know enough of it," he shrugged. "Fathers cover up for their daughters all the time. Just be careful around the misses. If theories prove correct, when she gets upset, she likes to play with kni-" Jason's fist connected with Richard's face before he could finish.
"Bad idea," Richard hissed, lunging back the moment he regained his balance.
Johnny attempted to pull them apart, but they knocked him out of the way as they slammed one another against the bar and tumbled to the floor. Somehow Jason ended up beneath Richard, and before Johnny could pull him off his friend, he was being grabbed forcefully by two police officers and pulled away.
"Take him outside and hold him," Richard called after the officers, looking at the other two who were now pulling Jason to his feet. "And take Mr. Morgan out back. He and I have some differences to settle."