Chapter 20
London, 1820…
"I'll get you a nightgown," Jason murmured, gently easing his wife from his arms and onto his bed. He tugged her slippers from her feet, dropped them to the floor as she shook her head in protest, putting her legs beneath the comforter and sliding down to rest her head on the pillow. "You'll burn up, Elizabeth."
"I'm fine," she whispered, smoothing the wrinkles out of the blanket with her hand. She sniffled and closed her eyes, and Jason couldn't help but sigh with his lack of ability to fix this. "I really am, Jason."
He nodded, scrubbing his hands over his face, telling himself she'd sound less defeated in the morning. It had been a long, exhausting day and a good night's rest would help his wife more than anything else – or so he hoped.
The entire time she was telling him what had happened the night of Lucky's murder, he could see how she replayed it in her mind, and he wondered how often that kept her up at night. How many times had he passed her room and heard her crying? And how many times had he pathetically believed she was crying over their situation?
"Jason, please," she whimpered, her eyes soft and bright in what little moon light filled the room.
"Alright," he agreed, leaning over to tug off his boots.
"You're staying?" she asked, the slightest hint of hope in her voice.
"It is my room," he murmured, walking to the edge of the bed and setting his boots onto the floor. "Unless you'd rather-"
"No," she interrupted, rolling onto her side as he came around to the opposite side of the bed. "I sleep better with…you – you near."
"Then I won't go anywhere," he said, pausing as he started to pull his shirt over his head. He wasn't sure if he could suffer beside her; there was already too much heat between them. It wasn't as if he'd never slept beside her in a lack of clothing. "Do you mind?"
"Not at all," she replied, tucking the comforter in at her sides, silently declaring her space on the side of the bed.
Swallowing hard, he climbed in beside her, settling uncomfortably on his back, before rolling onto his side to face her. "You need to get some rest."
"I know," she nodded, her eyes finding his amidst the dark room. "I just – you don't hate me?"
"I could never hate you," he answered firmly, scooting across the bed, relieved when she didn't move away. "Elizabeth what you did – you saved your life and Sonny's – don't ever feel guilty for that."
"That's impossible," she sighed, nudging towards him. "I meant more so about my father. You spoke so highly of him and I'm letting him sit in prison for a murder he didn't commit."
"Did you have a choice?" he asked. They didn't make it to the part of the story where Jeffrey found her with Lucky and the police came. Jason didn't need to hear any of that; he could piece it together well enough in his mind, and Elizabeth had already relived enough horror for one night.
"He's my father," she murmured, letting out a content sigh when Jason slipped his arm around her waist. "I begged him not to do it, but…he said I was his daughter,. tThat he had to protect me. One moment he looked at me as if he didn't recognize me a single bit and the next – the next he was putting his life on the line for me."
"He loves you," he said, trying to make it simple.
"Do you risk your own life for love?" she asked, shaking her head as she pressed her face into her pillow.
"I imagine he didn't even question it," he shrugged, shifting as she moved towards her, curling into his chest as she had downstairs. "You were the center of his world, Elizabeth. He would have done anything for you, and even when he was put in prison, all he wanted to do was protect you."
"It's not fair," she sighed, and Jason bit back a groan as she nuzzled her cheek against his bare chest. "I just wish things could be different."
"They will be," he said firmly, pressing a kiss into her curls and closing his eyes as he breathed her in. "I will fix this as long as you promise to rest."
He felt her smile against his chest. "I'll try."
"It's hot," Elizabeth groaned, rolling onto her back and tossing the covers aside.
Jason stirred slowly in his sleep, yawning as he opened his eyes to find his wife pulling herself out of his arms. She murmured something incoherently as she sat up, half asleep and moved to stand beside the bed.
"Elizabeth?" he asked, rubbing a hand over his eyes as he watched her fight with the skirt of her dress. "What are you doing?"
"It's hot," she repeated, letting out a satisfied moan as the skirt pooled at her feet.
He bit his cheeks at the sight of her bare legs glowing in the moonlight and swore under his breath when she started to take off the top half of her clothing. "I'll get you a nightgown."
"What?" she asked sleepily, tugging the material away from her shoulders.
He closed his eyes at the sight of even more bare skin. "Elizabeth," he growled, getting up from bed and leaving his back to her.
She murmured something in reply and he was starting to wonder if she was even awake. He started towards the door and noticed a shirt of his laying on the table near it. Snatching it up, he held it out to her, knowing it was best to cover her up as soon as possible. She'd been through enough already and didn't need her husband pawing her.
"Put this on," he ordered, holding the flimsy shirt out to her. He didn't look at her as she took it from his hands, just listened for the sound of the rustling material, looking over when he heard the creek of the bed as she climbed back beneath the covers.
"Jason?" she murmured, lifting her head. "Are you coming to bed?"
"Um…yes," he answered, hesitantly making his way back over. He finally looked at her, relieved to see she was covered. "Go to sleep."
"Mmhmm," she sighed, scooting over beside him as soon as he layid down. He clenched his hands into tight fists as she draped herself across his chest, sucking in a breath as he felt her breast – her bare breast – rubbinged against his smooth skin. She hadn't bothered to button the damned shirt.
"Elizabeth?" he asked, his heart pounding in his chest. His only answer was the sound of her soft snoring, and he wondered if she'd been awake at all when she climbed out of bed. She'd been so defeated and exhausted after her confession that part of him was relieved she was this tired and out of it; she needed the rest.
Letting out a sigh, he fisted his hands in the comforter as she shifted against him, trying to ignore how soft and velvety her skin was next to his.
It was going to be a long night.
Elizabeth's eyelids were so heavy that opening them to the sun hurt. She grimaced in annoyance and rolled onto her stomach, burying her face in her pillow. Every part of her ached, her legs, her arms – it was as if she hadn't slept a single moment the entire night.
"Are you awake or going back to sleepbed again?"
She tensed at the sound of Jason's voice, her heart stopping in her chest as the night came rushing back to her. She was so sure her confession would push Jason away, yet he'd swept her into his arms and carried her off to bed, comforting her in the best possible way by showing her he wasn't going anywhere.
"I'm tired," she admitted, blushing when her husband chuckled slightly. Lifting her head, she cracked an eye open and looked around the room, knowing it wasn't morning. "How long have I been sleeping?"
Jason looked over from the window, where he appeared to just be staring outside. "It's late afternoon, but you tossed and turn so much-"
"Late afternoon?" she cried, rolling onto her back and pushing herself up. Her husband groaned and looked away. "Oh my God!" She threw the blanket over her chest – her bare chest – and crumpled back against the mattress. She was practically naked, and he'd seen her, and this was just – this was highly inappropriate. "Jason?"
"I didn't see much, I swear," he said thickly, hanging his head.
"Yes, but…"
"You woke up in the middle of night," he explained hurriedly, sounding as if he was worried she would blame him. "You were hot – just as I said you would be if you slept in your dress and-"
"Oh, this is embarrassing," she groaned, curling up on her side and pressing her flushed face into her pillow. "I – oh, Jason."
"It's quite alright," he laughed, his back still towards her. "I promise I didn't look…much." She tried to ignore the flutter in her stomach at his comment, but failed. "Are you okay?"
"Last night…" She shook her head, tears stinging her eyes all over again. How could he even want to look at her after what she'd told him?
"Elizabeth, please don't do this," he begged, walking over to the side of bed, where he kneeled down so he could look her in the eye. He cupped her cheek, stroking it with his thumb until her eyes opened to meet his. "What you told me – it doesn't change anything."
"Except that you're now helping to cover up a murder too," she sighed, wondering if she would ever get out of the hole she'd managed to dig for the both of them.
"I'm taking care of my wife," he said seriously, leaning over to press hisher lips to heris forehead. "Don't make this any harder than it has to be. I know what you did and why, and I will fix this."
He spoke with so much certainty that it was impossible for her not to believe him. "But – but Jason," she murmured, nibbling her lip. "Where does – where does this leave us?"
"Us," he repeated slowly, the word sounding so beautiful on his lips.
"Not that there is – it's just if you fix this – if you – oh, I don't know what I'm asking," she said, frustrated with how confused she felt.
Did Jason still intend to return to Italy after this? Would he free her father? And would he leave his wife behind as some distant memory? How could he put her together – promise to be there -, knowing he was going to leave?
"I suppose – at least for now, until I speak with Johnny again about the case-"
"Johnny," she whispered, pulling away from his touch. She rolled over and pushed herself up against the headboard, careful to keep the blanket pulled over her. "Does he know the truth? Oh, Jason. How many people-"
"You can trust Johnny," he interrupted, slowly lifting himself to the edge of the bed. She noticed the grimace as he clutched his side, and she suddenly realized that all he'd done; carrying her, moving around in a rush, and trying to look after her, wasn't helping his injury by any means. "Nadine and Johnny – he doesn't keep much from her, I'm afraid, but you don't have to worry, Elizabeth. They are my oldest friends and they love your father dearly. They'll understand the truth as well as I do."
"I don't want them thinking of that night every time they look at me," she murmured, her eyes fluttering closed. "It's going to be hard enough knowing that you do."
"I don't," he argued gently, stroking her cheek again until she opened her eyes. "I see the strongest woman I've ever met. I just wish I would have realized it before." He sighed, dropping his hand from her face. "I'm afraid I've done a terrible job of looking after you. I promised to be devoted once we moved here and well, things haven't gone as planned, but I intend to change that."
"I don't need a sitter, Jason."
"No, you don't," he agreed, giving her a nervous smile. "But you asked what happened next – what there is for us..." Taking a deep breath, he looked away. "I will free your father, but I'm going to need a little more time to figure things out."
"Of course," she said, feeling uneasy about where he was going with this. "Take all the time you need. I know this is hard for you to process and-"
"I've processed it just fine," he said firmly, shifting his eyes back to hers. "I just – I would like to spend some time with my wife, I think."
"I'm not sure I understand…"
"There are few secrets between us now," he replied seriously, his lips curving into a smile. "There was a wall before – be it what happened that night before or what's yet to have been said; – either way, we're easing past it now, and I want to spend time with you. No interruptions. No case. No running from each other."
She arched her eyebrow, preparing to challenge him. "Interruptions always seem to find us, and the case is quite important. As for running, do you intend on locking me in a room until you're sick of me?"
"I've sent away any interruptions for the time being," he answered, a gleam in his eye. "The case is important, but you are more important." He chuckled softly, looking her over. "And I would lock you in a room, but I'm afraid you'd get sick of me."
"Impossible," she argued, sitting up slowly, paying no attention to the blanket as it slid down. "I'm not sure what I did to deserve someone like you Jason."
"You're being kind. Weeks ago you hated me," he reminded her, his eyes on her face as he reached for the front of her shirt to fold it closed. "And now…"
"You're well aware of what I feel," she whispered, lifting a hand to his face and gently tugging him towards her. She pressed her lips tenderly to his, sighing against his mouth when they touched. "It's you that leaves me confused."
"Elizabeth," he murmured, resting his forehead againstto hers as he smoothed his hand up her back, gently fisting it in her loose, bedridden curls. "If you weren't such a difficult woman, you would be very aware of what I feel."
She sucked in a breath, narrowing her eyes at his. "And if you weren't such a difficult man, you would show me what exactly it is that you feel."
Smirking, he pressed his lips briefly to hers. "Don't you see, Elizabeth?" he asked, nuzzling his cheek to hers. His breath was so warm on the side of her face that she couldn't help but shiver. "That is precisely what I'm trying to do."