Ryan felt sick, his head was spinning and he was sure he was coming down from a high. His body was shivering and as he went to move a sharp pain hit him at his lower back and memories of last night flooded back. His eyes watered and he grabbed hold of the pillow and squeezed it tight. Everything hurt. He looked at the clock it was almost seven in the morning and he knew Chad wouldn't be pleased with the phone call so early but he needed him more then ever now.

Chad was in and out of sleep all night and as his phone started to ring violently beside him on his bedside table Chad let out a loud groan as he blindly reached for the ringing assassin. "'lo..."

"Chad?" Ryan was crying and that woke Chad up straight away.

"Ry... what is it?" Chad asked, he was already sat up and pulling on his jeans. "You want me to come and get you?"

"Please." Ryan's voice pleaded.

Chad, confused and tired practically ran to Troy's house. Ryan was supposed to be safe, happy, they apparently needed this one night alone but with Ryan crying on the phone Chad knew that they didn't need this. They just needed to be together. As Chad reached Troy's house he saw Ryan sat on the wall, his legs up against his chest and head leaning against his knees. He slowed down, he could still hear the faint sobs of his friend. "Ry..." Ryan looked up straight away and carefully got off the wall.

"Ry, what's going on?" Chad asked hesitantly he hadn't missed the way Ryan moved. Ryan didn't answer instead he just attached himself to Chad and held on tight, scared of what happened to his friend Chad held on tighter. "It's okay, you're safe now."

"Take me home." Ryan mumbled. Chad nodded and wrapped an arm around Ryan's waist and they walked home in a comfortable silence.

-x-

Chad watched as Ryan slept, his body was moving around the bed even more. Chad had an arm around Ryan's skinny frame and was trying to stop him from moving so much, but instead he seemed to be pulling away from the touch. Ryan hadn't said anything to Chad about what had happened, Chad had asked but Ryan seemed to close up even more so when Chad suggested that he should get some sleep Ryan used this as an escape and Chad knew it.

Ryan didn't stay asleep long within two hours he was awake and staring at the ceiling as Chad snored softly next to him. "I'm sorry, Chad." Ryan whispered.

"Mm s'kay Ry..." Chad yawned softly next to him causing Ryan to jump. Chad wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer. Chad stopped snoring and his breathing evened out as he woke. "You kay?" He asked tiredly.

"Mm." Ryan mumbled.

"What happened last night Ry?" Chad asked gently.

"I..."

"Did you do pot, Ryan?" Chad asked bluntly.

"No, I didn't." Ryan stated.

"Then what..."

"I had sex with Troy." Ryan mumbled, his eyes watering.

Chad's face fell. He wished that Ryan had done pot, that he could deal with, he could help him and then they could move on. But this... Ryan and Troy... this wasn't what he needed right now.

"I was drunk."

"Wait he got you drunk?" Chad asked eyes wide. Surely Troy would have known that Ryan would've used the alcohol as a replacement for the drugs.

"He made me upset and made me want to drink." Ryan said softly. "I could have said no."

"Did you want to get drunk Ryan?" Chad asked, he had lowered his voice and was now running his hand up and down Ryan's arm.

Ryan thought about it, thought long and hard and shook his head. He didn't want to get drunk, he didn't want to be at Troy's house in the first place but both ideas sounded better at the time. "Did you want to have sex with him?" Ryan didn't have to think about it, he shook his head immediately and then cried harder then he had in ages.

"He said that you didn't love me." Ryan cried hysterically. "That you were out with a cheerleader fucking her and it got me upset and then he said he could make it better a distraction and I said no I didn't want him Chad I didn't I wanted you and it hurt and..." Ryan stopped talking when Chad leaned up and pulled him into a tight hug.

"It's okay, Ry... it's all going to be okay." Chad assured him with tears in his eyes.