Thanks a lot for the reviews, they really are nice to get! This chapter was quite a difficult one to write, but it was fun at the same time. I hope you enjoy, or at least like it a little.

Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.

Naomi felt sick the moment she kissed Emily. It wasn't that she didn't want to kiss her, but that she felt guilty for letting her lips stray. But it wasn't just her lips; it was her heart, her mind, her aching and hunger. Being with Emily usually made her heart feel full and when they were apart, she felt empty. Now they were sat together by the lake where they'd once made love. But she didn't feel full anymore. Emily was explaining her feelings, telling her that it didn't matter that she'd kept the truth from James, that if she had a problem with telling people she should tell her about it and they could talk it through. But her mind was drifting and her stomach was in knots. Her heart was tearing in two at the thought of caring about more than one person.

-

"What are you thinking?" Emily asked, noticing her lack of interest in the conversation.

Naomi turned to her girlfriend, she tried to look her in the eye but it felt wrong, so she stared at her fingers that were now holding her own.

"I have reservations," she admitted, knowing Emily would take it to mean reservations about telling the world about their relationship, but Naomi knew it meant more than that.

-

Emily squeezed her hands supportively, before resting her fingers against Naomi's cheeks. They were going to kiss. Emily was leaning closer and Naomi was frozen on the spot. She let Emily guide them into an embrace, but when Emily's lips touched hers, she imagined that she was kissing James; that Emily's fingers in her hair were Jay's, touching the skin on her neck, kissing her shoulder, lifting up her shirt and kissing her stomach. Naomi lay down against the dirt floor and Emily rested on top of her, kissing her lips again. But it still wasn't Emily, it was James.

-

"No, I can't," Naomi screamed out, pushing her fantasy away, pushing Emily away. She stood up, shaking from head to toe. Emily sat on the dirt floor, nursing a grazed elbow, a look of confusion and pain covering her face.

Naomi stared at Emily, who stared back. Their eyes fixed as though they were having a staring competition. Naomi knew she'd never win, so eventually gave up and looked away. She felt Emily's body standing next to hers, her body so close she could smell Emily's natural scent and the excitement she had felt before Naomi pushed her away. She wasn't smiling, she was crying. Two single tears were sliding down her cheeks.

-

"I don't know what is wrong, but please tell me what I can do to fix this,"

She didn't expect Emily's words. She expected her to ask why she had pushed her away, or what was going on inside her mind. But she sounded like she knew there was something and that Naomi only had to tell her what to do to make things right again.

"I kissed James," she whispered before she had a chance to change her mind. She knew that telling Emily the truth was the only way she would ever fix the mess she had made.

-

Silence is a funny thing, Naomi thought. When you know someone really well it felt comfortable, when you didn't, it felt awkward. When you were anticipating an answer, it could be exciting. But when you were waiting for a reaction, it could be heartbreaking. Naomi watched Emily's reactions; she took a step backwards, her eyes changing expression several times over, her face turning pale.

Emily's lips opened and closed a few times, before she finally spoke. "What? When?"

"Saturday."

-

It was silent again. Emily was still processing what she had heard and what it meant. Naomi was still watching her girlfriends reactions change, until she settled on an expression that Naomi could not place. She wasn't angry, she wasn't hurt, she wasn't anything.

"What do you want to do?" Emily whispered, not daring to look Naomi in the eye as she spoke.

-

Naomi looked to the ground, she knew the dirt wouldn't have answers to Emily's question. But she didn't know what else to do. If she was honest, she wanted James. But she wanted Emily too. She knew that Emily would not accept that as an answer, she wasn't the kind of person to play second fiddle or have half a slice of cake when she could eat it all. She had to choose what she wanted to do, whether she liked it or not. She thought about kissing Emily and how special it had been, confusing in the beginning, but since then it had been enticing and made her feel hungry with desire. But the one kiss she had shared with James was different. She didn't know how, but it was.

-

"I don't know," she finally answered, before letting her mouth take over. "I think I need to see if there's anything there, with him."

There were no tears, there was no shouting, there was no swearing and there was no fighting. There was just silence as Emily pulled her shirt back over her head, picked up her bag and walked away. She'd wanted to follow her, to explain further her answer, to tell her that she still loved her and that she did want to be with her too. But Naomi's knees gave way and her hands found comfort on the dirty ground below. She stayed on her hands and knees for several minutes, wishing there was something she could do to fix the mess she had made. She hated James for coming into her life, she hated Emily for asking her to choose. But mostly she hated herself for ever giving Emily hope and then taking it all away.

AN: Sorry to anyone sat there shouting at the computer screen saying NOOO! Lol. Please review, even if NOOO is all you have to say. Thanks!