Sung: thoughts
I guess I should've known
It wasn't gonna end okay
You're such a troublemaker But I like it just that way
A bomb tick tickin'
With neither one of us to blame
Just like a countdown ready to blow
I sat around a lot
And thought about the world without you
No matter what you think
Everything is not about you
You think I'm still hung up on you
Well baby it's not true
Obviously from his performance yesterday Brody thought that he was leaving me behind devastated, I mean he never was good at choosing songs and another one bites the dust is no exception, but the way he looked at me as if I would still come running back, that was just annoying, no it actually pissed me off, so much more than when he slept with Cassandra.
[Chorus:]
Now look at me
The memories turn to dust
There is only one explanation
I wasn't really in love
(I wasn't really in love)
It was just a crush
(It was just a crush)
Sparks fly when we touch
It was never enough
It was just a crush
(It was just a crush)
Yeah
You throw away the things
You need
There's nothing left to lose
The things I never wanna be
I owe it all to you
You just can't help yourself
It's just what you do
'Cause this is real life
Not a show
What I had with Brody wasn't true love it was just me trying to find someone to fill the hole in my heart that was put there by Jesse. It was like me running back to Finn every time just because I was afraid of how much Jesse could hurt me if he chose to.
[Chorus]
You'll be fine
Just find another girl
To kick around
Won't be long until
They all know
What I figured out
[Chorus]
It was just a crush [2x]
Yeah
Rachel stepped off the stage to Kurt's applause.
'What are you doing here so early? We don't have rehearsal for another two hours.'
'Well I could ask you the same thing, but it's actually obvious. How about we go grab some coffee and talk about it?'
'There's nothing really to talk about.'
'Uh, huh.' Kurt said raising one eyebrow. 'You're singing in this auditorium, you're not crying whilst singing about being over someone and it's not an acting exercise which means you've finally realised Brody and you was never meant to work. And I think I know why, you still feelings for Jesse, don't you?'
'Of course I do Kurt, we're close friends, but it's nothing more than that.'
They arrived at the café and Rachel placed their orders and all of a sudden just looked really nervous.
'Ok there's more to it than just that, or at least I want there to be, I mean I think he wants there to be, sometimes I just want to kiss him and I know when we kiss on stage it's more than platonic and I want to be able to spend more time with him,' Rachel babbled.
'Ok Rach, slow down and start from the start. I'll ask you some simple questions.'
'Do you like Jesse?'
When Rachel nodded he proceeded; 'Do you forgive Jesse for egging you and all the other times he's hurt you?'
'Yes, of course I do, they were just stupid mistakes he was pressured into making whilst we were both teenagers.'
'Before Spring Awakening, how were things between you? Like the last time you saw him.'
'Um, a little strained, he congratulated me on my proposal, not that, that lasted long afterwards.'
Suddenly it dawned on Kurt; 'Why did you choose Paradise by the Dashboard Light and It's All Coming Back to Me Now?'
'Why are you asking me this now?'
Kurt raised one eyebrow which made Rachel blush.
'I knew that Jesse was the one and that Finn and I were never going to work out. I also knew that he would be there. I tried talking to him afterwards but he didn't really listen to what I had to say, instead he congratulated me again on my engagement and walked off. He was gone in the morning and I didn't see him again until now.'
'Do you love Jesse?'
'Is that even possible? We haven't dated in years.'
'Rachel Barbara Berry, stop avoiding my questions.'
'Yes, I do, I just don't know if we can ever be together again. I love the way he runs his hands through his hair when he's frustrated, his cocky smile, the way that he of course got the lead in Spring Awakening, the way that he never thought any other guy was ever good enough for me. I love the way his eyes sparkle when he's messing with me and I fall for it, the way he made it so I don't like anyone singing Queen but him, the fact that our Broadway favourites are so similar and yet we still argue over which one is the best. I love how after all this time he still remembers the little things about me such as that I'm vegan and how I like my coffee and the way he stood up for m yesterday; actually the way he always stands up for me, even if it risks changing his reputation.'
'So what are you going to do about it?'