"NO!"
Tom sat up, panting as his heart rate spiked. For a moment he continued to see his bedroom at the orphanage, being told he was a freak no one could ever loved. Or was he in his father's drawing room, where they said he was a freak just like his mother? The memories blurred and joined and black spots appeared in his vision.
"Hey," Abraxas said, sitting up and lightly touching Tom's wrist. "Hey, what's wrong?"
The touch helped Tom centre himself. He turned, hugging Abraxas, using his slow breaths to slow his own. He gripped him tightly, fingernails digging in slightly.
Abraxas didn't know what was wrong. He didn't really need to. He hugged Tom back, rubbing his back slightly. Eventually Tom and Abraxas held his face, brushing away tears with his thumbs.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Tom shook his head as they heard the clock strike, and Abraxas grinned suddenly. "Hey, it's your birthday."
Tom shrugged. "I'm not a big fan of birthdays."
Abraxas' grin faltered. "Does that mean you don't want your present?"
There was silence for a long moment as Tom struggled to reply. "I didn't… She always said it was too close to Christmas." He didn't mention that he only got one present for Christmas, and hadn't this year.
"Right then, you can have this one, and tomorrow we'll go to Hogsmeade and get lunch," Abraxas said briskly, his tone not allowing argument. He turned to reach under his bed, lifting put a carefully wrapped present and setting it on Tom's lap.
Tom stared at it, too happy to speak. "Thank you, 'Braxas." It came out as a whisper as he carefully unwrapped the present. It was a book on Dark Magic, as well as a scarf that felt like it was woven by a god.
"My mother included the scarf, she said everyone should have a good scarf for January." He blushed slightly as he realised that implied he'd asked his mother for help, but didn't have time to say anything more as Tom hugged him.
"I love you," Tom murmured into his shoulder, the words slipping out. He'd meant to say thank you.
When Abraxas didn't say it back immediately, Tom leaned back and started fiddling with the fringe on the scarf. He wanted to apologise but the words couldn't get past the lump in his throat.
A hand covered his as another lifted his chin. His eyes met Abraxas' and he nearly laughed at the joy in them.
"I love you, too."