I swallowed again and looked at McGee, then back at the two names on the piece of paper, and then finally at the novel next to my hand.

"Do you believe me yet?" McGee asked, folding his hands across his chest in frustration.

"It isn't that I don't believe you, McGee," I assured him. "I just can't figure out how my favorite book happens to be written by you, the NCIS agent who saved my life a week ago." I ran my fingers through my hair again.

McGee reached across the table and took my hand in his gently. "I guess now I've got a new story for MacGregor," he told me, smiling and raising his eyebrows in a question.

I grinned and laughed—a genuine, bubbly laugh. "Yes I agreed. "He does."

After we quickly ate the Chinese food I had ordered, McGee said he had to get back to work. I walked him to the door and tried not to think about how much I wanted him to kiss goodbye.

He walked down the hallway a little ways, then turned around, took me in his arms, and kissed me passionately. It took me a minute to respond, but then I wrapped my arms around his neck and sighed happily. I shouldn't feel this good so soon after Will's death, but I did right now.

"Goodnight," McGee whispered, finally breaking away from me when we were both breathless. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Bye, McGee," I breathed, leaning weakly against the doorframe.

When McGee got back to the office, he walked in whistling the tune of "People Will Say We're in Love" from Oklahoma!

DiNozzo, who had dozed off on top of his keyboard, woke up with a start. "On it, Boss," he mumbled drowsily.

"Relax, Tony," Ziva told him. "It is only McGee."

Tony perked up quickly. "You seem awfully happy," he remarked to the newly arrived agent. "What happened between you two?"

Timothy shrugged and sat down at his desk calmly. "Oh, nothing really."

"You're whistling a song from Oklahoma! , McMusic-Man. I'd say somebody is happy!" DiNozzo stood up and eyed his friend warily. "Did you get up the nerve to actually...say goodnight?"

"If you really must know, Tony, I kissed her goodbye," McGee finally gave it.

"You kissed her?" Ziva echoed in disbelief, getting up very quickly. "Did she kiss you back?"

McGee rolled his eyes. "Yes, Ziva, she kissed me back. And no, Tony, this wasn't the first time I've kissed her."

Ziva and Tony looked at each other in amazement, then looked back at McGee.

"What?" he asked, looking guilty and innocent at the same time.

I was all fluttery when McGee left, but I started cleaning up the kitchen anyway. I found myself singing songs from Oklahoma!. I felt giddy and light-headed.

Suddenly, mid-verse, I stopped. What was I doing? Will had loved me. Will had died because of my bad tastes in guys. I had a glass in my hand and before I could stop myself, I smashed it against the floor.

"Damn it!" I swore angrily. "Why? Why me?" I sank to the floor, hating myself for even existing. I was completely dishonoring Will and he wasn't even buried yet.

I went to bed, still loathing myself for even having romantic thoughts about Timothy McGee. It was hours before I finally fell asleep and when my alarm went off, I hadn't gotten near enough rest. The funeral was at 10AM, though, so I had to showere and get ready quickly. My shift at Barnes and Noble started at 12PM, so I also had to get my things together for that as well.

My cell phone rang and I saw that it was McGee calling. "I don't want to talk to you, McGee!" I shouted at the phone. Of course, I really did want to talk to him, but I couldn't let myself. Will deserved more from me.

I drove to the graveside, cursing myself silently. My heart was aching for will Will, but not as if I'd lost my one true love. I ached for my best friend—the one guy who knew me better than anyone.

Will had known everything about me, from my blood type to the last time I'd had my hair cut. He knew that I drank at least two Diet Dr. Peppers a day and that, on occasion, I liked to eat Sour Cream and Onion Pringles. He had been at my college graduation and he'd even taken me out on my twenty-first birthday and bought me my first shots ever!

Finally, I arrived at the graveyard and saw only a small number of people had showed up for the graveside service on the cold, bleak day. Being invisible was going to be almost impossible. I climbed out of my car slowly, feeling that ache get worse and worse.

The closer I got to the gravesite, the harder it became to breathe. My chin quivered and I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to stifle the rapidly rising sobs.

Before I came any nearer, Mr. Rogers turned around and saw me. I stopped dead in my tracks. His eyes were dark with hatred and rage.

"No!" he shouted angrily. "Don't you dare come another step closer! You as good as murdered my son!"

"Please, honey," Mrs. Rogers begged her husband. "Let's put him to rest in peace." She was on the verge of tears herself.

"I'll have no peace until she is gone!" Will's father yelled.

"Please, Mr. Rogers," I pleaded, tears streaming down my cheeks. "I loved Will, too."

"Loved him? Ha!" He snorted. "He loved you and you practically laughed in his face!"

I backed away, shaking my head. "I didn't know," I insisted, telling myself more than anyone else. "I didn't know."

"LEAVE!" Mr. Rogers thundered.

I turned and ran, I ran past people coming to the service. I ran past all the parked cars, including mine. I ran until I was on the other side of the massive graveyard.

"Why?" I shouted at God, falling to my knees. "You took Will! How could you do that to me?"