Perry slept well. So well, in fact, that he overslept by quite a lot and only got into the office at midday.

He walked into his office and relaxed in his chair, still feeling rather tired, despite his long nap. He booted up the computer and began checking his emails. There was one very recent email from about an hour ago:

TO: owcaperrytheplatypus

FROM: owcapinkythechihuahua

SUBJECT: interrogation

Hi Perry

I came by your office about an hour ago (at time of sending) but you weren't there. Major Monogram wanted me to inform you that Terry and Tallulah have just finished a twelve hour interrogation of Portia the Platypus and he wants your input on the tape.

Thanks

Pinky

Perry frowned. He hadn't been aware that any kind of interrogation had been planned for Portia, especially as it hadn't even been twenty-four hours since her capture. Normally, the procedure was for a prisoner to stay in the cell for at least a week before interrogation. He supposed that it was because the ARCHANGEL crisis was…well…a crisis.

He practically ran up to Major Monogram's office and burst through the door without knocking. He found Kane Kennedy standing in front of Major Monogram's desk, apparently giving a report. Kane shot his major a concerned look but Major Monogram just said, "We'll pick this up later, Kane."

Kane nodded. "Yes, sir." He gave Perry a friendly smile as he passed the platypus on his way out.

As the door closed, Major Monogram said sternly, "I hope you're not going to make a habit of bursting in here without knocking, Agent P."

"I'm sorry sir, but why did you interrogate Portia?"

"I didn't."

"You know what I mean," Perry said exasperatedly. "Why did she have an interrogation in the first place?"

"Time is of the essence," his superior replied. "I think, and Kane agrees with me, that Kirk is planning something big, and I need to know what. I believe that Kirk has confided in some of his older and more experienced agents, like Portia the Platypus or Georgia the Golden Retriever or Oliver the Ocelot. Or you, if you had stayed."

Perry didn't like the look that Major Monogram was giving him. He actually glared at his superior. "Sir, are you insinuating that it would have been preferable if I had stayed with ARCHANGEL?"

"I'm not insinuating anything," Major Monogram replied calmly. "All I'm saying is that we need information as quickly as possible."

"So you had Terry and Tallulah spend twelve hours interrogating her?" Perry folded his arms. "Sir, even I could have told you that you're wasting your time with interrogation. I know Portia, and I know Georgia and Oliver. When they're in an interrogation room, they won't spill. They won't say a word."

"What are you saying, Agent P?"

"With all due respect, I believe I can get more out of Portia in a ten minutes chat outside her prison cell than you can get in a week of interrogation."

Major Monogram considered this. "You really think you can make her talk?"

"I'm sure I can persuade her to open up about some things," Perry said. "I think, deep down inside, she wants to trust me again. I know she probably won't let herself because she thinks I betrayed her but if I talk to her enough she might open up enough to give us some information that we can use."

His superior eyed him. "You do know that if she finds out you're using her for information, she will definitely never trust you again."

"I know," Perry said, hanging his head.

Major Monogram gave a sympathetic smile. "I know confronting your past must be hard for you, Agent P, but I want you to know that I and OWCA are truly grateful for your cooperation."

Perry could only nod.

…

Later in the day, Perry was in his office, finally finishing his report, when someone knocked on the door. He turned and saw the orange platypus standing in the doorway. His face automatically broke into a weak smile. "Hey Pansy."

"Hello, my little war hero," grinned Pansy, coming further into the office. "How you holding up?"

"Could be better, could be worse."

"I get that." Pansy began massaging Perry's shoulders. "Hey, you know what will cheer you up?"

Perry frowned. "No. What?"

"Visiting Pinky in the hospital wing. Apollo told me he's awake now and recovering fast."

"Really?" Perry smiled again. "That would be great. You want to come with?"

"That's why I was asking, numpty," Pansy laughed.

She took Perry's hand and pulled him to his feet. "Come on," she said. "Let's go."

Perry let Pansy drag him to the medical bay, where they saw Pinky sitting up in his bed, reading a book, which he put away when he spotted the two platypuses. Perry smiled as he approached his best friend's bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good, considering I almost died." Pinky matched Perry's smile. "What about you? I heard from Apollo that some female platypus kicked you in the head."

"She did," chuckled Perry, before his brain reminded him who "some female platypus" was. "She did," he repeated, this time not chuckling.

"Is everything okay?" Pinky frowned. "You don't look happy all of a sudden."

"I'm fine," Perry reassured his friend. "So do you feel any different now that you've got Pansy's blood in your veins? Do you feel extra sarcastic? Hyper? Non compos mentis?"

"I don't know what that last one means," Pinky said, laughing as Pansy elbowed Perry in the ribs.

"It basically means insane," Perry explained, grinning. This earned him another elbow to the ribs from Pansy. "Ow, Pan. I was joking."

"Since when do you call me Pan?" Pansy folded her arms.

Perry shrugged defensively. "I don't know. What's with all the questions?"

"I only asked you one."

"Well whoopee for you."

"Get a room," Pinky giggled. "You're arguing like an old married couple."

"Animals don't get married," Perry pointed out.

"It was a simile, Mr Pedantic." Pinky swatted Perry's ribs. Perry knew that the Chihuahua had meant to swat his shoulder but hadn't been able to reach. This fact made him grin.

"What are you grinning at?" Pinky asked.

"Your lack of ability to reach my shoulder," replied Perry, earning him another elbow from Pansy and another swat from Pinky. "Whoa, guys. Ease up on me, I'm delicate."

"I'm the one who's delicate," complained Pinky. "I'm lying in a hospital bed after having been assaulted by a jaguar, with my best friend's girlfriend's blood in my veins."

"Maybe we should let you rest, then," Pansy said, suddenly serious.

Pinky shook his head. "It's fine," he said. "I'm not tired." He stifled a yawn.

Apollo suddenly appeared out of nowhere. "I saw that," he said accusingly. "I said you could only have visitors until you felt tired."

"Curse you and your eagle eyes," Pinky said, weakly shaking his fist.

Perry and Pansy laughed. "Rest up, buddy." Perry patted Pinky's shoulder. Then he and Pansy left the hospital bay.

"I'm glad Pinky's okay," Perry said. He was about to say something else when he caught sight of the look Pansy was giving him. "…what?"

"It's time for you to come clean about your relationship with Portia," said Pansy, folding her arms.

Perry hesitated. "It's…a bit hard to explain."

"Then you're going to take me down to see her and I'll see for myself."

Perry grimaced. "I'm not sure that's the best idea."

But he could see from Pansy's face that his girlfriend wasn't going to back down on this. He sighed. "Okay. Time for you to meet Portia."

…

*le gasp* PANSY IS GOING TO MEET PORTIA!

Also: I think the banter between Perry, Pansy, and Pinky was one of the most fun things I've ever written XD