A/N Thank you so much for all the reviews, favs , and follows! It means so much to me

This chapter has a lot of mention of Elliot's nightmares, but not exact details. I feel like Elliot would be like a shell of a person after the season 12 finale. I hope you enjoy it and please continue to review!

Disclaimer: I own nada.

He made her stay on the phone with him the whole ride there. If this was another sick dream he was going to hang on to it as long as possible damn it. They didn't say a word to each other. What could he even say in this situation? Hey Liv, I heard you were abducted and I was just about to kill myself, I'm glad you called. I'm a complete jackass that can't handle life, how have you been? Nope. There was only the occasional sniffle from her and murmur cursing bad drivers from him.

His knuckles were white. He couldn't get his grip on the steering wheel under control. It was the only thing he could grasp at the moment. Why would she call him after he hurt her so much? He didn't want to think of the answer.

Olivia was only a few minutes away. Olivia was on the phone with him. Last night Olivia was lying on the precinct floor gasping for air. "Elliot why didn't you protect me?" she cried as he applied pressure to her wound while Fin checked Jenna for a pulse. The night before she had her throat slit by Gitano. The night before that she said she'd never forgive him for killing Jenna.

"Elliot, what's with the car horn?" she asked bringing him out of his daze. He looked up to see that the light was now green and could see a line of cars behind him waiting to go from his mirror. "Impatient mother fu-"

"Elliot please hurry! I think he's coming to. I have him cuffed to the bed but hell I could break it, so could he". The panic in her voice made him feel nauseas. It was the exact same in his nightmares.

This is not real. This is not real. This is not real.

After another few minutes, he was there, in the driveway. He opened the door, but he didn't move from his seat. This is not real.

"El, I heard a car, is that you?", the nausea was back. Before he could even respond, he leaned over and threw up. With only his breakfast of two beers and some vodka in his stomach, it was quite painful. Olivia was saying something to him, but his groans made it seem like a foreign language. "One second, Liv, I'll be there".

When he regained his physical strength he got out of the car, phone in hand. He stood on the doorstep for a moment. He was about to go in and face a man that was strong and clever enough to kidnap Olivia Benson, Badass Benson. He had no weapons, only a broken heart and disturbed mind. How did he go from killing himself to saving someone else?

If the man had broken loose, he could very well do both. He could distract him long enough to get Olivia out and then beg him to kill him. Then his kids wouldn't have to hear that he took his own life. He never wanted them to think that they weren't enough.

He sighed before pushing the door open. The hall was covered in broken glass form pictures that were hanging on the wall. The smell of cigarette smoke was so strong that even a chain smoker would notice. He could hear faint crying through the last door on the left. His twelve years at the Special Victims Unit did nothing to prepare him for what he saw next.

Olivia was standing over a man, a monster, with her gun pointed right at his head. Her hands were shaking and she was sweating. She was post nightmare Elliot, a mess.

"I want to shoot you in the head" he heard her whisper to herself. She couldn't do that. It would ruin everything.

"Olivia, are you okay?" he asked causing her to flinch. Stupid question, of course she's not. She turned towards him, taking his breath away. She had deep creases and cuts on her face with dark and puffy bags under her eyes. She was tired and emotionally drained. She was his reflection.

He shuttered and she noticed. Of course she noticed, she always noticed. He had no control of his body anymore. Her gun was now on the dresser and she was wrapped in his arms. She gasped in pain, "my ribs" she explained. He loosened his hold on her a little. He didn't want her to be as sore as his steering wheel would be.

She smelled of his poison of choice, vodka. Her hair was dirty and knotted. Her clothes were slightly torn and she was covered in bruises and burns. This was just another nightmare. Soon she would be on the ground dying and he would wake up, drink and pass out. Any minute now.

"Olivia, you didn't tell me that we were expecting company" the man on the floor half slurred. He felt Olivia tense in his arms. He felt a familiar flame burning in his chest. He never did have control of his rage. This man beat, tortured, and ra-he ra… sexually assaulted Olivia. His partner, no his best friend was hurt and he could do something about it this time. Someone was going to pay. He let go of her and turned to the man on the floor, "who the hell are you?" he spat.

"Johnathan Jones" the punk answered with a smirk.

"His name is William Lewis and he is a serial rapist and murderer" Olivia explained as she handed Elliot the metal bar she used on him earlier.

"All of those bitches wanted it… Now tell me Stabler, are you going to break my bones the way you broke her heart? The poor thing wouldn't stop talking about you earlier" His smile was sickening. He was getting off on this.

Elliot looked over at Olivia and she nodded. "How's this for an answer bitch?" he seethed. With that he swung as hard as he could at Lewis' knee, shattering his knee cap. The man screamed in agony. Elliot let him suffer for a few minutes before swinging again, this time at his elbow. The crunch of his bones was chilling yet satisfying.

Lewis hurt Olivia. Elliot broke his one rule to keep her safe and now they were here.

He was about to swing once more when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder.

"Don't kill him. I want him to rot in jail before he burns in hell".

Elliot nodded and held the rod a little looser. He took one more swing only using half his strength just to knock him out again.

"I knew you would still have anger issues" she said with a small smile. He had missed that smile.

"I do, but I'm not the same Elliot Stabler".

He grabbed his phone and dialed Cragen's number. He took a deep breath before hitting the send button. This was going to be rough, but that didn't matter. This was all just another sick dream anyway.