AN: Thank you for the continued support! I wasn't exactly sure if I wanted their talk in this chapter, so I decided to wait. It's in the next one though so don't worry! Please let me know how ya feel! And the congressman, I really like the idea and I'm probably going to use it, so thanks! Love ya'll!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

His floors hadn't been so clean since the day he first moved in. They shined and lacked sticky spots from spilling now that he had scrubbed them. A mop simply wouldn't do the trick. He had spent over an hour on his knees, scrubbing with a cloth and warm water. He wanted everything to look neat for Olivia. If his apartment was order, his life was in order.

That was the biggest lie of the century. He had spent fifteen minutes finding a hiding spot for his noose. Mentally stable people didn't have that problem. Sure he could have just thrown it away and made another one later if he felt compelled, but he wanted to keep it. It would be a reminder of how low he had gotten.

Dumping the alcohol was the hardest part. He watched as it poured down the drain with a look of dread. How was he going to deal with the stress without it? He would have to learn how, if not for himself, for Olivia. He kept the last bottle and stuck it in the top of his closet with his rope, just for the really bad days where a shot would make the world of difference.

His bedroom was spotless and his bathroom was completely scrubbed down. He dusted the whole place and even washed some of the dishes even though they were already clean. They had to be perfect for Olivia.

Now all he needed to do was shop. They would need food and she would need the basics: shower stuff, some clothes, and anything that made her feel comfy. He wanted to call Cragen and ask if she would be able to get any of her things since her place was a crime scene. She would want the old beat up blanket that she kept in her closet. She slept with it every night. It was torn and frayed on some of the edges, but she refused to give it up. He never thought that she'd be the type to get attached to a certain blanket, but she never let go of it that one time she was sick.

He had made her lay down on the couch so he could tuck her in. She never let anyone touch it before, he was the only one. It made her feel better after a long day of working in the roughest unit. It would calm her down to the point that she could fall asleep. Alcohol was his blanket.

He checked his watch before grabbing his keys. It was already 9 in the morning. He hadn't slept more than a few hours in the past few days, but it didn't matter. Olivia hadn't slept much either.

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He probably bought way more than they could eat in a month, but he didn't care. He didn't know exactly what size t-shirt or pants she wore anymore, so he bought a variety. He wasn't sure what kind of soap she used now, so he bought a bunch. Nothing was too much. Just as he finished putting everything away, his phone buzzed. It was a text from a number he didn't recognize.

Hey El, the department got me a new phone since IAB took mine. I'm being discharged in an hour. Can you pick me up?

He smiled. She would ask him to, as if he would let anyone else.

Yea, I'll be there in fifteen.

He grabbed a bag of clothes that he had bought her and one of his sweat shirts. She would want to be covered.

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"Alright Detective, you are free to go. Remember to take off your brace before showering and take extra care of your ribs. Don't move around too much for the first few days. No heavy lifting or even bending at the waist if you can avoid it. Got it?". She eagerly nodded and stood up, grabbing the bag Elliot brought her. She couldn't wait to put on some real clothes. Hospital gowns were not the most comfortable things. She closed the bathroom door and started to sort through her options. There were a lot of blue and grey shirts, he had remembered that blue was her favorite color. She tried not to laugh at the many sizes he bought. He had no clue how women's sizes worked.

She chose a dark blue long sleeve shirt with a pair of black jeans. He smiled when she did a little turn for him. "You like the outfit, I see". He was proud of himself; she looked nice.

"Yes I do, cute, comfy, and I'm covered. I'll just put on my shoes and we can go".

Shoes! Shit, I didn't bring the shoes! How do you forget shoes, everyone wears them?

"El, I don't see any shoes in this bag" she said as she dug around the clothes.

"I'm so sorry Liv, I must have left them at home".Stupid. So stupid.

She sighed and ran her good hand through her hair. "It's okay, I didn't give you much time to get here, and I'll be fine. Just pull the car up to the door and it'll be fine".

He had taken so much care when picking out her clothes, and he messed up. He always messed up.

"I'll go pull the car around".

On his way to the car, he decided to make a phone call.

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They hadn't said a single word to each other on the way to his apartment. There was so much that they had to say, and absolutely nothing that could be said at the same time. They had not been brought together under good circumstances and neither of them could handle the conversation they needed to have yet.

He parked his car in the garage and looked over at her. She was smiling at him. It made him nervous.

"What?" he asked, causing her smile to grow bigger. How was she smiling right now?

"I hope you have fun carrying me up to your apartment. The ground is cold and who knows what could get stuck in my feet".

"Seriously Liv? Couldn't I just go get your shoes and bring them back down?"

Her smile immediately dropped and a look of panic took over. She was scared to be alone. She didn't feel safe.

He quickly got out of the car and jogged over to her side. He opened her door and scooped her up in his arms, carrying her bridal style. He felt her breath against his neck as they rode up to his floor in the elevator. It felt so right to have her in his arms. If only they were in a different situation.

He set her down when they got to his door so he could unlock it. When he looked over his shoulder at her he saw that she was shaking. The last time she went into an apartment, she left with a gun being held to her head. He heard her step into the living room behind him, trying to show him that she was strong.

"Just stay here for a minute, I'm going to check things out".

She closed her eyes and nodded, thankful that she didn't have to ask.

"All clear" he called from his bedroom.

He noticed her visibly relax as he locked the door. She was safe for now.

He had no clue what to do from there. They were both just standing in the middle of the living room, staring at each other. It was extremely awkward. He felt as though he should break the ice.

"It's kind of chilly out these days".

You. Are. An. Idiot.

"El, why don't we take a little while and get our thoughts together so we can ask each other what we want to? I know this is going to be hard and neither of us are well off at the moment, but I think it's better than sitting here waiting for the other to bring it up". He didn't trust his voice, so he nodded. He was not ready for this. He didn't know what she would even ask him, and he was terrified.

"Good, I'm going to hop in the shower, mind telling me where it is?"

"The shower is in the bathroom in my room, down the hall".

He waited until he heard the click of the bathroom door shutting before going in to his room. He heard the sound of running water as he reached up in to the top of his closet. Just one shot to calm the nerves.