AN: Well this chapter is a little bit crazy, but I think you will like it. So much more to come for our favorite heroes. Let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: I don't own SVU.
Elliot's Journal
Olivia Benson is crazy. She is incredible, but crazy. I don't know if she realizes how incredible she is. If she knew, she wouldn't force herself to do these crazy things. When will she accept the fact that she is the strongest, smartest, kindest, funniest, and most beautiful woman in the world? I have been telling her these things since the day we met. Well, I didn't come out and say that directly, but I was very restricted in my compliments because I was married. Either way, she should have picked that up by now. She doesn't need to prove anything to anyone. I know for a fact that I could never handle what she's been through. On top of that she has me to worry about. I'm 99% sure that she still worries about me more than she does herself. This isn't something that I want to do, but if she keeps insisting on it, I'll be there holding her hand the whole time. Her nightmares haven't been as bad lately, but I'm sure that'll be out the window tonight. I'll stay up with her all night if I have to. She's insane, but I love her.
Earlier that morning
Olivia was laying on the couch while Elliot made them a quick breakfast. She had been suffering from a headache since she awoke. She groaned when the shrill ring of her cellphone echoed throughout the apartment. She had left it in the bedroom and was not in the mood to get up and get it. Wordlessly, Elliot went and retrieved it for her. She heard him greet the person on the other end followed by "Here, I'll put her on".
"It's Cragen" he whispered as he handed her the phone.
"Hey Cap, what's up?"
He must have sensed a difference in her voice.
"Liv, are you okay? You sound like you're in pain".
"It's just a headache" she reassured. She sighed when Elliot placed a cool, damp cloth on her forehead. She offered him a small smile in thanks.
"I just wanted to let you know that we're all done with your apartment. The landlord said you have the next two weeks to either clean it out or pay your rent. I also wanted to um…"
"Check on me?" she filled in with a bit of a chuckle. Her boss knew her too well. "I'm fine, I'm doing better everyday".
Elliot rolled his eyes at her use of the word "fine". She was always fine.
"One more thing, let me know when you want to come back. You'll have to go through some psych evaluations, but it won't be too bad".
"Thanks Cap, I'll let you know".
Olivia sat her phone down on the floor next to the couch and rolled over onto her side so that she was facing the back of the couch. Elliot grabbed her blanket from the back of the couch and draped it over her. He sat himself on the edge of the couch as carefully as he could manage and started to make little circles on her back. She reached up and moved the cloth up on her forehead.
"Do you want me to massage your temples?" He offered sweetly. He knew that her headache must have been pretty bad considering she skipped her class at the gym because of it.
Olivia nodded and moved so that she was on her back once more.
"Just close your eyes and relax" he whispered.
He tucked her hair back behind her ears to keep it out of his way. He ran his fingers along her scalp before starting to gently rub her temples. A proud smile formed on his face when she softly moaned.
"That feels wonderful" She complimented. She was so comfortable that she felt herself falling asleep. Elliot must have sensed her sleepiness too.
"So, why did Cragen call?"
"I have to clean out my apartment...soon. I was thinking of going tonight and just staying there until it's all done".
Elliot stopped his ministrations for a moment but quickly recovered. "Are you sure? Your head still hurts".
"I'll be fine, I just need to sleep it off".
She reached up, grabbed his hand and gave it a light tug.
"Lay with me" She ordered much like she had the other night when she was drunk. Neither of them questioned her reasoning behind it then, and they sure as hell weren't going to question it at the moment.
He shook his head and watched as she scooted forward so that he could squeeze in between her and the back of the couch. She turned on to her side and motioned for him to join her. It was a tight fit, but neither of them complained. It was only a few moments later when he heard her begin to softly snore.
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They awoke a few hours later. Olivia claimed that she was one hundred percent headache free and that they were fine to go to her apartment. She grabbed two duffel bags out of Elliot's closet and tossed one to Elliot.
"I have a feeling it's going to be pretty messy, so bring enough clothes for a few days" She said as she grabbed a few of her shirts out of her drawer. She was quite surprised when she saw Elliot toss his journal into his bag. He caught her giving him the look.
"What? Aren't you going to take yours?" He questioned.
"I wasn't planning on it".
"Liv, this is going to be stressful and I think that you should take yours too".
"Well if it's so stressful for you, don't go!" She snapped.
"Don't make it sound like not going is actually an option".
Her eyes widened. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"I didn't mean it like that" he quickly countered. "I haven't had a night without you here and I honestly don't think I'm ready to handle it".
Her eyes softened a bit as a small smile formed. "Nice save".
Elliot shook his head at her. "It's not a 'save', Liv. I'm serious".
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They stood outside of her apartment for ten minutes before she even got her key out. He was letting her set the pace and she had decided to take her time. He couldn't blame her. No one would want to rush into the place where they were kidnapped. She eventually handed Elliot the key in a silent plea for help. She couldn't get herself to do it. He shrugged his bag off of his shoulder and slid the key into the lock.
"I'll go in first" He offered, but she put her hand on his arm to stop him.
"Wait, I need to do this. Just give me a few minutes".
She pushed the door open and made her way to the living room for the first time in two months. It smelled faintly of cigarette smoke and alcohol mixed with what she could only guess was the foul stench of burning flesh. It made her want to gag. Her floor was covered in stuffing from her throw pillows and broken glass from her coffee table which lay shattered on it's side. A lone dining chair sat in the middle of the room with little pieces of duct tape clinging on to it. Her tv was still in one piece, but so far that looked like it was the only object in her living room that was left untouched. Her couch cushions were covered in little cuts and the pictures that were once hanging on her wall now occupied the floor space. She didn't even bother to scan the kitchen yet. She knew that Lewis had done a number in there while he warmed her keys. She had heard several objects come crashing to the ground while she was taped to the chair. There was nothing she could have done. That's what she had to keep telling herself anyway.
Tears suddenly poured out of her eyes and trailed down her cheek as she stood in the middle of her living room. She knew that it was going to be hard to take in all the damage that he had done. Elliot came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Normally he would have turned her around to give her a proper hug, but he didn't want to make it worse by letting her see his own tears.
"It's one thing to kidnap me and torture me for days, but did he really have to destroy everything?"
"We'll get this all cleaned up. It'll be okay".
She shook her head and pulled herself from his embrace. "Can you go open the windows? I'm going to work on getting this glass up".
He did as she asked while she searched her cabinets for her cleaning supplies. Everything was moved around and out of place. He called her to come into the bedroom. She sighed and forced herself to go into her bedroom. Elliot stood by her closet, motioning for her to come.
"Look, he didn't mess with anything in here". She smiled and looked at all of her clothes, happy that they were just the way she left them. Elliot noticed a box in the bottom left corner of the closet with his name on it.
"What's that?"
Olivia blushed and explained that was all the stuff he had in and on his desk when he left. He wouldn't answer her phone calls so she never got to tell him that she had it.
"I'm so sorry, Liv. I shouldn't have ignored you".
"It's in the past,El. We can't change it now". She knew that he wanted to press the subject, but she had too much to do at the moment.
Her bedroom was destroyed, just like she had expected. Anything that was previously in her dresser now covered the floor. Broken bottles of expensive perfume left stains on the floor. Her jewelry box was no where to be found. How could someone be so evil? She shuddered at the memory of him tearing her covers off the bed and wrapping them around her. She fought him tooth and nail until he finally hit her with her own gun, successfully knocking her out.
"Let's get to work, this place isn't going to clean itself".
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After hours of sweeping up glass and washing the floors, the living room was back to looking decent. Elliot took the couch cushions down to the dumpster and put all of the pictures in a box in her closet before throwing out their broken frames. Olivia focused on picking up all the stuffing from her pillows and getting the coffee table down to the dumpster. Her apartment didn't look too homey before the abduction, but now it looked like she had just moved in. It was crazy to think that fifteen years had gone by in the blink of an eye. They only had to get rid of the couch and they'd be done for the day. It was a shame that Lewis had torn it up because the couch was only a few months old. The table wasn't any good either since Lewis broke a leg of it along with two of the chairs. That could be handled in the morning.
Once the couch was gone, they decided to order some Chinese food. They pulled the mattress out of the bedroom and into the living room so they'd have somewhere to sit while they ate and watched tv.
"We got quite a bit done today considering…" Elliot said in an awkward attempt to start a conversation. She knew that he wanted to keep her from thinking about Lewis, but it was inevitable. He always tried so hard to help her.
"I can't thank you enough", she said after a long moment.
"It's not a big deal-"
"No, Elliot. I mean for everything. I can't thank you enough for being here for me. I honestly don't know if I could do this without you".
He grabbed her hand and brought it up to his lips, giving it a soft kiss.
"You are the strongest woman in the world. You don't need me. I should be the one thanking you for letting me be here".
Olivia couldn't help but chuckle.
"What's so funny?" He asked, slightly offended.
"Do you hear us? We are so screwed up! I'm an emotional mess and you're a recovering alcoholic!"
"No, we're Benson and Stabler" He reassured.
"We're partners" She said as she scooted closer to him.
"You're my best friend" He said, challenging her.
"You're my rock", She rested her head against his shoulder. "We really are quite a pair, El".
Elliot gently cupped her face in his hands and caressed her cheeks with his thumbs. They locked stares and enjoyed the beauty in each others eyes for a moment. They were so close that their noses were only millimeters away from touching.
"I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you". He turned their little game into something serious and she was finally ready to tell him. There was no way that he would leave, right? There was only one way to find out.
"I love you, El".
AN: Sooooooo, I warned ya! Let me know what you think! Love ya'll!