Author's Note: This was a fun chapter to write!

Thank you to all you loyal readers- Lady Luxembourg, Clarisse Renaldi, Captain Weirdo, addlogcon, tabby-fanny, Minerva M McGonagall, Kristi-Julie, and everyone else who reads it! You all rock!

The Princess Diaries does not belong to me!

Clarisse was awake first the following morning, and she smiled when she looked over at and saw that her husband was still asleep, looking as handsome as ever.

She lay there for a few minutes, enjoying the muffled sounds of the ocean, and watching the sunlight stream through the crack in the closed curtains, before an idea struck her- she would make Joseph breakfast!

She slid quietly out of bed, careful not to disturb him, but when she turned around after putting her robe on, he was still lying motionless on the bed. She was severely tempted to kiss him, but she also wanted to surprise him.

The sun was streaming in when she padded, barefoot on the polished wooden floors, into the kitchen, where she immediately put the kettle on.

"I can do that," she said with a pleased smile as she collected two cups and saucers from a cupboard over the stove, and the teapot and tea from another cupboard.

As she waited for the kettle to boil, she looked around the kitchen, wondering what she could prepare for breakfast… she had been too tired the evening before to notice where Joseph had put everything, so she couldn't cook anything…

Just then, she noticed the toaster on the bench… it was highly unoriginal, and not what she had intended, but it was something she could easily manage…

When she re-entered the bedroom, carrying a tray, he wasn't asleep, but sitting up in bed, ready to get out in search of his wife, but his face relaxed when he saw her.

"Oh ho ho, this is a surprise!" he joked as she set the tray down in front of him, and walked around to her side of the bed, pulling open the curtains and opening one of the doors as she passed. "I didn't think you did much cooking!"

"I can always do toast," she replied smugly as she down next to him. "I did want to create something more complicated, but….

"Don't worry darling, this is fine," he smiled over at her before sobering up. "But… there is something wrong…"

"What?" she asked, looking concerned.

"You haven't said good morning to me properly," he teased, and the concerned look on her face instantly disappeared.

"Oh, I am sorry," she said, pretending to sound apologetic, before she leaned over and kissed him. "Good morning darling."

"That's better," he joked, before kissing her again. "But… good morning sweetheart… Piece of toast?" he offered her the plate, and she accepted a piece gratefully.

"What are the plans for today?" she asked as she ate her toast, and sipped her tea. "Hopefully there's nothing too strenuous!"

"Well… we should go shopping for some more supplies, and I might show you how to use the DVD player- it's never too early to begin your education in all the modern gadgets," he said mock seriously as she laughed.

"And… you're going to help cook dinner tonight, so don't try and pull the trick you did last night, because it's not going to work!"

"Ah, but to be fair, I did offer to stay down there…" she said wisely.

"And have you fall asleep in my sauce, no thank you!" he replied smartly, but then laughed along with her.

"Anyway… that all sounds like fun," Clarisse said enthusiastically, and Joseph laughed- she sounded almost like a little girl, wanting to do everything, although it saddened him slightly that she hadn't had the opportunity to do it before.

"But… no washing?" she added teasingly.

"Not today… and I can see that you're so disappointed… but, more importantly, we'll have some time for fun in the sun!"

"Good," Clarisse said, nodding firmly. "That's what I was really wondering about," as she stretched her legs out on the mattress.

A little while later, Joseph stretched, and looked over at Clarisse with a smile.

"I guess… since we've got so much to do today…. I think we'd better think about getting up."

"I think so too," Clarisse agreed as they both hopped off the bed. "Why don't you have a shower, while I go downstairs and wash up… and then we can make the bed!"

"You- wash up? Make the bed?" Joe pretended to look shocked, and she laughed.

"Yes, I can wash up and make the bed… but I'm counting on you not coming downstairs so that I can get the washing up done quickly."

"No soap fights?" he pretended to sound crushed. "I thought you had fun last night!"

"Oh yes… I had a shower an hour before, and I almost had a second one!" she replied sarcastically before they both laughed, and Joseph headed into the bathroom as Clarisse headed downstairs.

She had just finished washing up, and was about to dry up when she heard Joseph's mobile phone go off. She looked around, and discovered it lying on the bench, before she picked it up, wondering what to do… she wouldn't get it upstairs to him in time, she surmised, so she tentatively pressed the green button (as he had instructed her to do before), and held the phone up to her ear.

"Hello?" she said tentatively, wondering who could be on the other end.

"Hello… Your Majesty?" came an unfamiliar voice on the other end.

"Yes… who's this?"
"It's Scott… I was calling to let you and Joe know that Her Majesty and Lord Devereaux are on their way to visit."

"How far away are they?" she asked, hoping that they were far enough away so that they had time to get ready.

"About an hour… we left Pyrus an hour before, but there is… Something else…"

"Oh?" Clarisse suddenly felt a little apprehensive.

"They've been arguing all morning- I think they had a massive fight last night- so they might not be too happy when we get there…"

"Thank you for calling us, Scott, and letting us know," Clarisse said calmly before they hung up… or, rather, he did- it took her a little while to figure out how to end the call… so many buttons… before she finally succeeded.

Now, it was time to tell Joseph that they would be having visitors… and visitors that were fighting!

"What took you so long?" he asked as he came in from outside on the balcony, fully dressed, when she came into the room. "I didn't think it would take that long to wash up some plates!"

"Oh!" Clarisse suddenly realised that she had forgotten to finish the drying up. "But Scott rang," she added, handing him the phone.

"Oh?" he sounded surprised. "Is there something wrong at the palace?"

"No, nothing like that… Mia and Nicholas are on their way here to visit… you don't mind that they're coming?" she added anxiously, seeing a little expression of annoyance flit across his face.

"No, I don't… it's just that they must miss us!"

"Maybe… but there's more…. Apparently, they've been fighting all morning- maybe even had a massive fight last night…."

"So it sounds like we're going to have world war 3 on our hands when they arrive…" Joseph finished the sentence matter of factly, both of them remembering some of the other arguments that they had heard about in the past year.

"Incidentally, when are they getting here?"

"In about an hour… they left Pyrus an hour ago, while we were still…"

"Being lazy…"

0

An hour later, they were both dressed and downstairs, wandering through the small garden adjacent to the driveway.

"If we were to spend more time here, I would love to develop this garden further," Clarisse said thoughtfully. "It wouldn't be as good as the palace gardens…"

"Nonsense darling- I'm sure it would just as good, if not better… you never know, I might help out occasionally…"

You dear, sweet man," she smiled, and was just about to lean over and kiss him when they both heard the sound of tyres crunching on the gravel.

They looked up to see one black car literally tearing up the driveway, the other car driving at a more sedate pace.

"Uh oh, that doesn't look good," Joseph muttered under his breath as the first car came to a screeching halt just a few metres away from them, a car door opening a second later, and an angry looking Mia stepped out, slamming the door shut behind her.

"Hi!" she called, waving, before running around the other side of the house, in the general direction of the beach.

They turned back to see Nicholas hopping out of the driver's seat, his face like thunder.

"Oh dear, a lover's quarrel," Clarisse sighed heavily. "Alright, I'll talk to Mia, and you can talk to Nicholas."

She smiled pleasantly at Nicholas as she passed him on her way around the side of the house.

"Sorry…" he muttered, shame faced, and she patted his arm reassuringly.

"It's fine, Nicholas… why don't you talk to Joseph?"

As she had expected, Mia was sitting on the beach, her knees pulled up to her chest and her chin rest on it, as she looked out to sea.

"So," Clarisse began diplomatically as she sat down next to her on the sand. "How are you?"

She wasn't quite sure how to broach the subject, but it was clear that Mia was upset. Mia sighed as she continued to look out to sea, and she wiped a tear away a moment later.

"I'm sorry, Grandma," she said finally. "I thought it would be a nice surprise to come and visit, even if you've only been here a day…"

"It's alright darling," Clarisse said soothingly, moving closer and putting an arm around her shoulders as Mia began to weep quietly. Clarisse just sat there as she cried, arm still around her shoulders, patting her arm and listening to her cry.

"So," Clarisse began again once Mia had calmed down. "What happened?"

"It was silly… I was trying out my new speech on him, and I felt like he was being over critical."

"What did he say?"

"Something about it being too long, too formal, I was trying to put too many arguments into one speech… Lily said the same things yesterday, so he was right, but it was just the way he said it… it was so tactless…"

"Men can be very tactless at times, my dear, we all know that…." Clarisse said wisely as Mia looked at her in astonishment.

"Joe could never be tactless!"

"Believe me, he could occasionally be tactless," Clarisse said with a laugh, remembering his lack of tact during many an argument.

"But… what happened from there?"

"It kind of escalated out of control, and we said some nasty things to each other… but I figured that you could help, seeing that you and Joe are 'the' perfect couple."

She looked startled when Clarisse burst out laughing. "What?"

"I'm just amused that you think Joseph and I are a perfect couple… Mia, my dear, we are definitely not a perfect couple, and I don't want us to ever be considered that… remember that first argument you happened to overhear last year?"

"Yes… I don't think I'll ever forget that… but you two always seem so happy…"

"We are happy, but we keep most of our troubles behind closed doors…"

Mia looked worried suddenly as she thought of something.

"So… did it bother you that we were so intrusive when we were helping you plan your wedding?"

"No, that was wonderful, and it showed that you cared… but we are fairly private about our relationship… despite all the gossip we inspired, and the times everyone has seen us showing… PDA's, as you call it… But, believe me, we argue just like any other normal couple!"

"Was it like that when you were…?"

"No… we did have our arguments, I'll admit that, but most of our problems were usually swept under the rug… But Mia," Clarisse continued as she turned to look at Mia. "Arguing is normal in any relationship, but it helps to talk it out… Just as long as you and Nicholas don't let this pull you apart…. I know how happy you are together, and I don't want to see you pulled apart because of it…

Anyway, just to prove that Joseph and I argue, I'm going to tell you about an argument we had years ago… and yes, I will admit that it was my fault…"

Clarisse sighed as she kicked off her shoes and sat back in her chair. It was the end of yet another exhausting day, and she was relieved to have a little time off before having dinner with Rupert and a few of his friends… she hated it, but she knew that she had to do it…

Just then, there was a knock on the door, and Joseph poked his head around the door, looking unusually serious.

"Can I come in?"

"Of course, Joseph," she smiled welcomingly at him. "You don't need to ask that question, you know that!"

"How are you feeling?" he asked as he sat down opposite her, and while he still looked serious, there was also a tone of solicitousness in his voice.

"Very tired- I wish I didn't have to go out tonight," she sighed heavily, and he looked sympathetic for a moment.

"It will be alright, but I can imagine it can get rather tiresome… Your Majesty…"


"Clarisse," she corrected him with a wan smile.

"Clarisse, I need to ask… did you go for a walk down to the lake this afternoon?"


Clarisse frowned, trying to remember exactly what she had been doing that afternoon, before she remembered, and nodded.

"Yes I did."


"By yourself?" his voice suddenly turned harsh, and she was a little unnerved at his taciturn expression- he usually smiled and relaxed in her presence…

"I think so," she said quietly- she had been desperate to get out of the palace, but she realised that she had forgotten to let anyone- i.e. Joseph- know.

"I'm sorry, I must have forgotten," she smiled winningly at him, knowing that he usually forgave her, but, to her surprise, he remained unmoved.

"How many times must we go through this Clarisse?" he asked in a calm, monotone voice, and Clarisse was shocked.

"I beg your pardon?"

"How many times must I tell you that you cannot walk around the palace grounds on your own… you need someone accompanying you at all times."

"I said I was sorry, and it won't happen again," Clarisse said, annoyed that he was making her feel like a naughty child.

"That's what you always say, and then it happens again," he said calmly, and Clarisse was now getting seriously annoyed.

"Well, I'll make you a solemn promise that I will never leave the study at all," she said sarcastically, aware that she might be overreacting slightly, but not caring. She was tired, but she was also tired of people trying to tell her what to do, even when she knew that they meant well.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," Joseph said calmly. "I would just appreciate that you tell me where you're going before you actually go."


"I usually do, but I forgot this time… people, even Queens, sometimes make mistakes!"

"A mistake that, could, be potentially dangerous for you."

"Oh really? Well, I can assure you that it won't happen again."

"It won't, I'll make sure of that," he said calmly, standing up, pleased that she understood him, but he was surprised to see her standing up as well, glaring angrily at him.

"What's wrong?"

"Do you have any idea how condescending you just sounded, telling me, the Queen of Genovia, what I can and can't do?"


"I'm sorry, Clarisse, but it's part of my job to make sure I know where you are at all times!"

"I know all that," she snapped impatiently. "I have been Queen for a long time, so I know all about that!"

"Then maybe, seeing you have been Queen for so long, you shouldknow what you can and can't do, without pretending that you forget!" he snapped, now just as angry as she.

He had been genuinely concerned when she had disappeared that afternoon, but he hadn't been worried about his job, which he would have definitely lost if anyone knew he had let the Queen slip between his fingers, he had been more worried about her.


She looked shocked at what he had just said- that afternoon, she had genuinely forgotten to let someone know, but it seemed to be that Joseph thought she did it deliberately- before she frowned.

"Maybe you should step into my shoes for a day, Joseph, and see how it feels like to be protected and watched all the time!" she replied sharply. "You don't just seem to get how much I need some time alone, with no one else watching me!"

"I know how hard it is to be you, and to have no privacy, always be watched…" Joseph said, trying to be sympathetic, but she waved his peace offering off.

"You have no idea, so don't try to sound like you understand, because you don't!"


"Maybe I don't, but you have a position to maintain, no matter what, just like we do… we all have a job to do, to make sure you're safe, and I think it's rather selfish of you to disappear when we're all working so hard to keep you protected and safe!"

"Are you calling ME selfish?" she shouted, now furious at him. "HOW DARE YOU! You are crossing a very fine line, Joseph Bonnell!"

"Maybe someone needs to tell you that, just so you can realise that you're not the only one working around here!" he shouted back. "Yes, you are selfish when you do that, and I'm sick and tired of having to worry about you, what you're doing, and how you're feeling every second of the day!"

She was about to shout back, but she stopped when she heard his last sentence, her face going white, before she recovered sufficiently to say:

"Well, if you're so sick of being worried about me all the time, I have a solution for you- QUIT! Get out of here!" she shouted back at him, but he didn't move.

"Are you deaf? Get out!" she repeated angrily, before she stormed around the desk, striding towards the door.

Just as she got to the door, she felt him grab her arm and spin her around.

"What on earth do you think you are doing?" she snapped, trying to pull away, but he kept a firm grip on her arm. "Let go of me!"


"I won't until we've sorted this out," Joseph said firmly, his anger dissipating, and she continued to glare at him.

"Alright… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called you selfish, or being condescending or that I'm sick of caring about you… but you shouldn't have disappeared…" he said in a much quieter voice as he looked at her, and she realised that she was beginning to melt… there was always something about him that made her melt… that and the chemistry that was always there… she could never resist him…

"It was selfish of me to make you worry like that," she murmured as she moved closer to him. "I was desperate…I just needed to get out…"

"I know," he said quietly as they moved closer and closer to each other. "As your friend, I understand that, and wish you could have your freedom… but, as your bodyguard…" but he trailed off as he suddenly became aware of her blue eyes, looking at him…

"I promise… I won't…" she murmured as they came lip to lip, but she forgot the rest of her sentence as he kissed her long and passionately…

"So," Clarisse concluded with a smile- it hadn't been their worst fight, but it had been memorable. "We do argue- he annoys me or I him, we have a few words, and we then work it all out in the end… All that matters is that I love him, and he loves me…" she finished shyly as Mia stared at her, open mouthed.

"Wow… Just when I figure you two out, you come up with yet another story… but that sounds so much like Nicholas and I… especially before I became Queen…"

"But…."

"No, I know I over-reacted, and I do appreciate that he was honest with me… that shows how much he cares…."

Mia giggled slightly, and Clarisse looked at her, curious.

"What's so funny?"

"I just never realised that you and Joe fought so hard!"

"Believe me, dear, that fight was not the worst one we ever had!"

0

"Nick, how are you?" Joe called as he walked over to the clearly angry young man, waving to Scott and the boys in the car as he passed.

'Fine… Just wondering why I'm here… and Mia…" he shook his head in disbelief, and Joseph chuckled as he guided him towards the house- it sounded so much like what he had thought (and still did at times) when he and Clarisse had argued.

"Why?"

"I'm sorry Nick, I was just thinking how much what you just said sounded like what I used to think when Clarisse and I fought."

"You two fought?" Nicholas looked surprised as Joe followed him into the house, and Joe laughed harder. "You two seem so perfect…"

"Believe me, we are very happy together, but we are not perfect, and Clarisse would agree with me… I'm sure Mia told you about our very loud argument last year?"

"She may have mentioned it, yeah," Nick said bashfully as he sat down at the kitchen table, and Joe sat down opposite him.

"Anyway, we're like any normal couple, arguing when we annoy each other… hey, we even argued when we were bodyguard and Queen!"

"You fought with the Queen?" Nick looked almost shocked.

"Yes… but she gave as good as she got… but we usually got over it fairly quickly… a day of giving each other the silent treatment (very childish, I know) was enough for both of us… So, what happened between you and Mia?"

After Nick recounted his story, Joseph looked pensive for a moment.

"I know I was over critical, but I didn't want other parliamentarians picking her to pieces… I guess I was a bit tactless…"

"Most women think we're tactless, but I think Mia, when she thinks about it, will appreciate you for being honest wit her… Honesty is the key thing in any marriage and relationship…"

"But she was really angry, and I got angry as well…"

"One thing you will quickly realise is that the Renaldi women can get rather fiery at times!" Joe said wisely.

"I know, and that's what I love about her…"

"But seriously, Mia has been on the throne for a year, but she's going to continue needing your support- both her grandmother and I appreciate what you've done for her…"

"I can't imagine doing her job, not now, and I'm glad that she's the one doing it… I promise, Joe, that I will always been here for her."

"That's all that matters to us," Joe said firmly, before the glass door slid open, and in stepped Clarisse and Mia.

Clarisse and Joseph felt like intruders as Mia and Nicholas, drawn to each other, apologised profusely to each other, kissing and hugging, before turning to face them, both now feeling rather sheepish.

"Our main purpose for today was really just coming to see you, and you've been the ones that have helped us!" Mia said with an embarrassed smile.

"We've only been here a day, and you miss us… is the palace completely falling apart without us?" Joe joked as he prepared tea and coffee for the four of them, and Mia laughed. "So, when is your first party supposed to be?"

"Tomorrow," Mia joked, before she slapped her forehead. "Oh, I almost forgot!"

"Almost forgot what?" Clarisse and Joe asked in unison before Mia raced out the door, but was back a few seconds later with yet another present.

"Oh… we appreciated all the other presents we had, but…"

"This is from all of us, including the palace staff," Mia said, holding it out and Clarisse accepted it with a grateful smile. "But, open it when we've gone."

00

Almost two hours later, Joe and Clarisse stood in the driveway and waved as the two cars, now both driving at a more sedate pace, disappeared down the driveway.

"Well, that's half our day over," Joseph joked jovially as he wound an arm around Clarisse's waist, and she heaved a sigh.

"Oh boy…" she said as they walked back into the house. "What a morning… I'm very glad that I'm not that age, or going through those trials anymore…"

"Yes, I'm glad too… so, what was Mia's side of the story?"

He nodded when she recounted the story.

"Yes, that's what Nick told me… obviously, they both overreacted, but I think they both just wanted some advice from us."

"I can't believe that they thought we were the perfect couple!" Clarisse laughed, and Joe joined in as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders for a moment.

"Aren't we?" he joked. "Yes… us as the perfect couple… why does everyone seem to think that? But, to be fair, we aren't necessarily doing anything to dissuade them from thinking that!"

"True… but I prefer to keep our marriage private- we've been talked about for so long that's it's actually nice to have some secrets…."

"Secrets?"

"Secrets from the rest of the world, not from each other… but does it bother you that I prefer to keep everything quiet?"

"No darling, I understand completely… I know that, after your first marriage, you now prefer to maintain your privacy… So, what advice did you give her?"

"That arguing is a normal and healthy part of any relationship… and I told her about one of our arguments…"

"There are that many?" he joked, and she laughed.

"The one where you got up me for the umpteenth time about disappearing on my own, I tried to throw you out of my study…"

"And I managed to win you over with my charm," he finished with a grin, narrowly avoiding a playful swat from her.

"But what did you tell him?" she looked at him curiously.

"That we fought even when we were Queen and bodyguard… actually, I think he was rather shocked that we fought then… that is very healthy and normal… that honesty is the key in any relationship… and that the Renaldi women can get fired up when they want to!"

"You told him what?" Clarisse looked mock horrified at his last statement. "If I had known that, I would have added that it's the men in our lives that cause us to get 'fiery'!"

"See, there you go…" he teased. "But, your spirit is one of the things I really love about you," he said, leaning over and kissing the tip of her nose.

"You are very sweet…. But young love… I wonder what we would have been like if we had been their age…"

"Possibly the same as we are now, although I was rather arrogant in those days… not much, but most young men usually are….

"True, and I was very, very shy… we probably would have annoyed each other greatly, but…. I think we might have lasted."

"I think so too…. So, do you think we'll last now?"

"Definitely," she nodded firmly before he leaned over and kissed her, and then grinned as he glanced at his watch.

"Now that the drama part of the day is done, we can get on to doing some of the things we were supposed to do…"