Author's Note: Hi, sorry it's been a really long time since I updated, but my studies kind of got rather difficult… but I'm back now!
The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!
The next few days passed by uneventfully as they made the most of their time at the beach. Clarisse had called Mia several times, and all was well there, but they were happy in their own world.
They had woken up early one morning and had gone for a long walk along the beach, watching the sun rise over the horizon, but they were more than happy to sleep late.
"You know, we might have to start thinking about heading back to the palace," Joe said thoughtfully one morning as he washed and she dried up their breakfast things. "That or I'm going to have to show you how to wash clothes!"
"About time! Alright, let's stay," Clarisse said amenably, and then laughed when she saw his surprised expression. "What does that look mean? I'm happy out here."
"I know, and so am I, but we should inform Mia, at least, of our plans… and I know you won't like this, but if we're going to be living out here permanently, she'll probably have someone checking up on us more often…"
"I know…" before she was interrupted by the sound of car tyres crunching on the driveway.
"Who could be visiting us now?" he complained half seriously as he walked towards the front door, Clarisse following closely.
"Wait… I have an idea!" he said as Clarisse rested her hand on the door handle, preparing to open it, and he put his hand on top to prevent her from opening it.
"How about if we go out onto the beach and pretend we're not home?"
"That's rather rude darling… besides, I'm sure whoever it is will know your trick…"
"Scott will," he muttered before she opened the door to reveal…Scott walking up the path.
"Your ears must be burning!" Joe called jokingly, and Scott grinned in reply.
"My visit has two purposes- one, to do as Her Majesty requested and make sure all is well…"
"Which it is," Joe interrupted with a grin.
"And… two, to let you know that Lords Hadley and Jenkins will be here in half an hour…"
He paused for a moment, looking slightly ashamed, before continuing.
"I believe that someone may have told them that it was your birthday tomorrow, Joe…"
"What?" Joe was appalled, but Clarisse quickly leapt to Scott's defence.
"I'm sure it was an accident, Joseph, and I know that both James and Scott would have used any trick necessary to get it out of him… so don't blame Scott- they probably just want to celebrate with you by taking you out for the night…"
"But what about you?" he asked, not at all keen to leave Clarisse at the beach house alone, before Scott discreetly coughed.
"Their wives are coming with them, and me and a few of the boys will be staying at the guest cottage tonight, so she'll be fine," as Joseph visibly relaxed.
Clarisse smiled at his reaction- while she had already got his presents (a new shirt, diamond cuff links and the Indiana Jones DVD set), and had planned a quiet day for them, she was secretly pleased that James and Charlie were taking him out. When she had asked what he had wanted to do, he had been maddeningly unhelpful.
"I don't care, just as long as you're there."
"However, while Joseph and Charlie's imminent arrival had postponed her plans, she was glad… it meant a great deal to her that Joseph was liked and accepted by her friends…
Half an hour later, James and Charlie arrived (if you could call cars racing up the driveway, tooting horns frantically arriving). As soon as they saw him standing outside with Clarisse, waiting to greet them, both men began calling out:
"You are so going out tonight Joseph!"
"Oh dear," he murmured into her ear and she smiled trustingly over at him.
"I trust you… and you deserve a night out without me…" she managed to say before both men practically leapt on them.
"You've avoided thus far, Joseph, but you can't avoid us anymore… especially on your birthday!" Charlie crowed.
Joe shot Scott a dirty look- he had been hoping to spend the day with his wife, but Scott couldn't keep his big mouth shut…
0
After spending the afternoon together, the 'six some' split up just before dinner so that the men could get ready for their night out. The plan was that the women would stay behind at the beach house, in the care of Scott and some of his men, while the other boys accompanied the men into Pyrus.
"Are you sure you don't mind me going out tonight?" Joe asked anxiously in the privacy of their bedroom, and she smiled fondly as she sat on the foot of the bed, watching him dress.
"Sweetheart, it's your birthday tomorrow, so I think you should go out and have a good time… you've been living the quiet life lately…"
"What are you going to do?" he asked, still concerned.
"Not a great deal… but I do claim you for tomorrow," she teased, and he laughed before he walked over and held her close for a moment.
"Sounds like a good idea- you're the only one I really wanted to spend my birthday with!"
"But, to be fair, James and Charlie want to celebrate with you… but I will be here to celebrate tomorrow, I promise."
It was just a little while later when the men decided to, as Charlie put it, 'hit the road', and Clarisse reiterated one last time with her husband.
"Take care, and have fun- don't worry about me…" although she could understand his concern- they had barely been apart since their wedding.
0
The women spent the evening watching movies, especially 'Dirty Dancing' and both Lisa and Marion agreed with Clarisse's assessment that "Patrick is very, very handsome!"
"But we can't say that in front of our respective husbands," Lisa said with a laugh.
"Exactly," Marion agreed. "Some men can be so touchy…. Their egos get a little bent out of shape sometimes…. Except for Joseph, Clarisse…. He always seems so mild and tolerant."
"I suppose he is," Clarisse said thoughtfully, realising that it was partly true, although, like any other man, he could get jealous which, while the others may take for granted, she loved it about it- it showed that he did care… unlike Rupert for most of their marriage…
When they went to bed at midnight, the men still weren't back, but Clarisse wasn't at all surprised- in fact, she wasn't expecting them until at least dawn or early the following morning, knowing James and Charlie….however, it was rather lonely in the bedroom without him…
0
The sound of the phone ringing woke her up an hour later and, for a split second, she lay in bed and wondered why it was ringing.
"Joseph…" she murmured sleepily as she rolled over to face him, expecting him to answer the phone, but she realised that his warm body wasn't there…
She sat up and leant over to answer the phone, squinting at the clock as she did so… it was 2:00 in the morning! Who would be calling at that hour?
"Hello?" she said finally, trying not to sound sleepy.
"Is this Mrs Joseph Bonnell?" came an official sounding voice on the other end of the line, and while she rejoiced at the use of her married name, she was also worried… why would someone sounding official be calling her about Joseph?
"Yes, this is his wife," she replied calmly, now wide awake and trying not to feel panic or terror…
They had only been married a year- why had something happened to the love of her life? She couldn't bear thinking about it…. But, she told herself said sternly, she was over reacting- it was probably something very innocent…
"Ma'am, this is Sargent Cole from the police station in Pyrus, and we have your husband Joseph here in a cell, as well as two other men who claim to be his friends… They were picked up from drunk and disorderly behaviour…"
"Oh," Clarisse finally said when he paused for breath- she couldn't believe what she was hearing…
"We haven't charged them, but I would advise you to come and bail him out before the press gets a hold of this…"
"I see," Clarisse said, still wondering whether she had actually heard him right- her husband was in jail!
"What about his friends?" she finally asked, her thoughts turning to James and Charlie for a moment.
"Their wives are being contacted, but I believe that they are staying with you at the moment… or at least that was what one of the fellows was trying to say!"
"Yes they are, and we'll come in together within a few hours."
As soon as she hung up, Clarisse sat back on her pillows for a moment and digested what she had just heard, torn between laughing at the predicament the boys were in, or being angry at their predicament… she knew it was going to happen eventually, knowing how good a time James and Charlie liked to have…
She only hoped that the press hadn't been tipped off- she wasn't all that keen on facing them at four in the morning… it was bad enough facing them, or dealing with them, after they had illegally been on the grounds, spying on the then Princess…
Before she got out of bed, she dialled the number of the small guest house where Scott was staying- she was definitely going to need him to drive them into Pyrus.
"Yeah?" came Scott's sleepy voice after ten rings, Clarisse beginning to wonder whether he was actually there.
"Scott, it's Clarisse…."
"Your Majesty, sorry, I didn't know…" he babbled, sounding horrified at the casual way he had answered the phone, but Clarisse brushed him aside.
"No, it doesn't matter… Scott, I need you to drive Lisa, Marion and I into town- Joseph, James and Charlie have been arrested, and are in jail."
"Crumbs," Scott couldn't help but say, before covering up quickly. "Yes ma'am, the car will be ready in 10 minutes, or sooner…"
He was trying to remain indifferent, but he was dying to ask for details, before Clarisse, as if reading his mind, added hastily.
"This also means that this goes no further than us- I don't want the rest of the world to know about it."
"Of course not ma'am," Scott said soberly, but he couldn't wait to rib Joe a little about it when they were alone.
Once Clarisse was dressed, she went to wake the others but, as it turned out, they were already dressed and waiting outside her bedroom door for her.
"This was all James and Charlie's doing," Marion began apologetically. "I'm sorry…"
Clarisse put up a hand- she wasn't at all angry with them.
"You don't need to apologise- I'm sure Joseph had his part to play in all of this," she said calmly, but she was now angry at all three men for allowing themselves to get so drunk that they were thrown into jail.
0
When they walked into the police station two hours later, after a very quiet trip in, Clarisse was rather embarrassed when the officers on duty recognised her, but quickly covered their surprise well. She herself hid her embarrassment well as she stood in front of the desk, every inch the former Queen.
"I trust that we have your complete discretion in this matter?" she asked, and the officer nodded.
"Of course Your… Mrs Bonnell… Officer Mackie will take you back to the cell where we've put them… oh, and be warned, two of them are still very, very noisy…"
"James and Charlie, I'll bet," Clarisse heard Marion murmur from behind her, but she was too busy trying not to faint as she, the other two behind her, followed the officer down the hallway… they were in a cell!
She had never been in a police station, never come to collect someone from here (although she suspected that the boys probably would have come close several times), and now she was coming to collect her husband…
When they came into sight of the cell, she could see that James and Charlie were standing up by the bars, shouting, but where was Joseph?
"Clarisse, Lisa and Marion… we knew you would come!" the two of them bellowed together drunkenly, reaching through the bars to grab hands, but Clarisse brushed past them, looking anxiously behind them for Joseph…
She spied Joseph slumped on a seat in the corner, head in hands. Once the officer opened the door, she motioned to Scott and one of his men to help him out to the car.
"Aren't you going to speak to us?" Charlie complained as she walked past him, and she couldn't help but stop to glare icily at him.
"I am not talking to either of you at the moment… but you will be staying at the palace tonight," she added before walking on.
In the car, Shades looked back in the rear view mirror at her, squashed into a corner as Joseph leaned heavily on her.
"Did you want me to take you back to the beach?"
"No Scott, I think it might be easier to go to the palace," she sighed tiredly as she shifted in her seat- he was so heavy…
It was a relief to know, as they drove back to the palace, that the press hadn't been present, but she wouldn't be at all surprised if there wasn't something in the papers tomorrow, which just riled her up even more…
It was clear that Joseph was suffering his punishment, and probably would the next day, and the other two had clearly been in no condition to be sensible when they had been picked up.
It took all three men to get him upstairs, and she silently pointed for them to carry him into the bedroom, where they spread him out on the bed.
"Good night, and thank you," she said briefly as they departed, before walking to the foot of the bed and watching him for a moment, spread eagled over the bed.
She sighed quietly before retrieving her pillow and a blanket from the cupboard- it looked like she was going to sleep on the couch for the rest of the night…Before she went back out into the living room, she put a jug of water and a glass of water on his bedside table.
00
Very late the next morning, Joseph woke up feeling absolutely dreadful, nauseous with a dreadful headache… what had happened last night…. He stared at the ceiling for a moment before he remembered- going out with James and Charlie, the pub crawl, climbing onto a roof and then jail…
He rolled over to see if Clarisse was awake, but saw that she wasn't there, before he realised that they were back at the palace…. And seeing that her side of the bed was empty, he knew that she was probably very angry about what had happened…
He looked over and saw the water waiting on his table, and he drank the lot thirstily, feeling a little better afterwards. He looked down and realised that he had slept on the top of the bed in his clothes, and that he had taken up pretty much all of the bed…
He groaned slightly as he gingerly stood up, the room spinning around slightly for a moment, before he began walking, rather unsteadily, out into the living room, in search of his wife…
The room was empty, and he wondered where she could be, before he looked down and saw her sleeping peacefully on the couch…
After watching her for a moment, not wanting to disturb her, he decided to give her some time to cool off, and he walked back towards the bedroom and gathered a few items of clothing together, before quietly sneaking out the door…
He tried to creep past the security room door quietly, not at all in the mood for Scott's jokes, but unfortunately…
"Well, well, well… how do we feel this morning?" a voice shouted from close near him, and Joe winced as he looked over at Scott standing, leaning against the door frame and smiling smugly at him.
"Please don't shout," he managed to say, and Scott's smile only broadened.
"Yes, I thought that you wouldn't be feeling that well… you certainly didn't look well when we picked you all up at 4 this morning… by the way, I really appreciated having to drive in Pyrus because of you!"
"What… what happened?"
"I'm sure your wife would be more than happy to tell you, although you might have to wait until she settles down- she didn't seem too pleased this morning…"
"If I wasn't feeling so… so…. I'd box your ears for cheek," Joe said, irritated, but he didn't have the energy to follow through with his threat, and Scott knew it.
"Alright, I'm sorry… but you can't blame me for teasing you a little…"
"I'll be in my old room if anyone wants me," Joe said before he continued walking down the hallway, Scott's laughter following him down the hall…
Clarisse meanwhile awoke a little while later, a little stiff from sleeping on the couch, and she slowly stood up, stretching as she went.
'Thank goodness that's not a permanent arrangement,' she thought to herself as she felt her knees creak slightly as she walked around the room for a moment, before she realised that it was Joseph's birthday.
She walked towards the bedroom to greet him but, to her dismay, she saw that he wasn't there!
"Where…" she murmured to herself before she thought hard- he probably thought that she was angry at him, so he had snuck off before she woke up.
True, she had been very angry a couple of hours before, but she had cooled off somewhat- it had been a birthday celebration, and he had been out with friends. It suddenly didn't matter to her whether it was mentioned in the papers or on Elsie's show- it was about Joseph, and no one else… until his marriage to her, he had been a private citizen, living life as much of the population did, so it was rather unfair to expect him to set an example for the rest of the country…although, she admitted to herself as she went to change, she was still angry at the other two…
First stop was the security room, which was deserted except for Scott, who didn't dare try and be smart with her. He had seen her fury earlier that morning, and he didn't want to press his luck.
"Scott, have you seen Joseph this morning?"
"No I haven't, ma'am, but I suspect he might be down in his old room."
Clarisse walked quietly down the hall to his old room- the room where they had spent their 'second honeymoon', knocked gently and entered when he called out a response. When she entered the room, she found him lying, stretched out, on the couch in front of the television.
"What's wrong?" came his voice from the depths of the couch, and Clarisse had to fight not to giggle- he had no idea who had come into the room.
"There's nothing wrong… I just wanted to wish my husband a happy birthday," she said simply and there was the tiniest pause before he literally leapt to his feet. For someone who probably was feeling very under the weather, he had gotten to his feet surprisingly fast, and she couldn't help but chuckle for a moment.
"What are you doing here?"
"I told you… how are you feeling?" she asked as she calmly sat down on the couch, and he slowly sat down beside her. "I imagine you don't feel particularly well…"
"I'm alright…." But Clarisse could tell he was still feeling off colour.
"Why did you disappear from the suite before I woke up?"
"After seeing you asleep on the couch, I figured you were angry at me, so I'd leave you to cool down…"
"Cool off from what?" she asked
"Last night- I can remember most things until midnight, and then things were kind of a blur…"
"You three were arrested in Pyrus at 1:45 this morning for drunk and disorderly behaviour," she said matter of factly and he groaned, suddenly remembering more of last night. "I, as well as Lisa and Marion were called to come and collect you at two, and I thought it would be easier to come back here…"
"And what about you, sleeping on the couch?"
"I didn't want to disturb you… yes, I was very angry at four in the morning at the stupidity of your actions, but I'm alright now…"
"I'm sorry, my love…"
"You don't need to apologise- last night was a boy's night out that may have gotten a little out of hand, and I did want you to have a good time…"
"True, but I can't remember much of the night anyway… alright, I obviously went a little crazy, knowing you were alright with it, but all I can really recall after the pubs that we tried to climb onto the roof of a store…"
"It was a wonder none of you fell off!" Clarisse was horrified.
"We almost did when an officer shouted up at us, but… So, you aren't mad?"
"Not at you," Clarisse said gently. "By the way, happy birthday my darling," before she leaned over to kiss him.
"Where's my present?" he teased when they broke apart, and she laughed in reply.
"What makes you think I bought you a present?" she teased.
"Because you love me," he smiled winningly at her.
"I may have, but it's not here… it could be back at the beach house…. So you'll have to wait- punishment for your behaviour last night!"
"I see… so have you seen the newspapers?"
"No, and I don't care…" before he silently handed her a small pile of papers, and her jaw dropped slightly. She had been expecting a mention in the paper, but not this, not dramatic headlines such as 'FORMER QUEEN'S HUSBAND ARRESTED FOR DRUNKENESS', ANOTHER SCANDAL FOR THE RENALDIS?', and 'CAN CLARISSE TRUST HER HUSBAND?' Thankfully, there were no pictures
To Joseph's surprise, his wife tossed the papers onto the floor with a careless shrug of the shoulders.
"Why aren't you more upset about them?"
"For several reasons: a) because there were no pictures of you with girls draped all over you… are there?" she asked anxiously, and he was quick to reassure her.
"No, we didn't go to any of those clubs…"
"Good… and no pictures of your alleged misbehaviour, and b) you were a private citizen until the day you married me, so it's spectacularly unfair to expect you to set an example for the rest of the country!"
"I don't mind…" he began protesting, and she smiled as she rested a hand on his arm.
"I know that, but you are under no obligation to be perfect all the time (although I think you are!), and the public really has no right to judge you!"
"My, my, my, you really do feel strongly about this, don't you?" he teased as he put an arm around her.
"Of course- no one criticises my husband and gets away with it, and I'm quite sure that Mia will agree with me!"
"Speaking of, we had better call in and see her before we go back to the beach…. By the way, are you planning on speaking to your friends again? Last night wasn't deliberate- it was just a bit of fun…"
"We'll see," Clarisse said, lips pursed- she was still rather annoyed at them, but…
0
It was an hour later when James and Charlie, more ill looking than Joseph, came grovelling, almost on their hands and knees, and apologising. Clarisse and Joe had called into to see Mia beforehand, and as expected, Mia wasn't at all bothered by the 'mini scandal'- in fact, she was rather delighted at the scrape Joseph, James and Charlie had got themselves into.
"I didn't think you guys had it in you!" she teased a slightly embarrassed Joseph. "But who really cares what the others say? We know it was in a bit of fun!"
They were back upstairs, ready to go back out to the beach house (Scott had offered to drive them back out) when 2 solemn faces came into the room.
"We're very sorry about last night," Charlie began apologetically to a stony faced Clarisse.
"We didn't mean for it to get so out of control," James added as Lisa and Marion looked on. "I really don't remember whose idea it was to climb onto the roof… All I can say is that I'm sorry we've caused you more unwanted publicity…"
Clarisse let them ramble on for a bit longer, but she was no longer angry- it had been fun, and they had, after all, been good friends for a long, long time.
"I probably should never speak to you two again," she began sternly.
"I don't blame you," Marion piped up.
"But I can't… all four of you have been dear friends for a long time, especially through some very tough times, and I can't forget that… besides, you like Joseph, so that's another point in your favour… But…" she added with a twinkle in her eyes." I'm never going to let him out with you two again!"
"Here, here!" Lisa and Marion cheered on.
0
"So, what are the plans for the rest of the day?" Joseph asked as they drove back to the beach house. Joseph had put the partition up between the front and the back seat almost as soon as he got into the car- he suspected that Scott would probably wait to pay him out, but he didn't want him to give him significant looks at the moment. "Hopefully nothing too strenuous!"
"Well… I didn't have much planned for the day, but I had made reservations at a restaurant I've heard just opened around here, but I don't think you'll be up for another night out…"
"Nonsense, dinner out sounds great to me!" he said enthusiastically. "Just as long as it's just you and me!"
"Don't worry, the others have to go back home for a function, so yes it's going to be you and me… and Scott is staying overnight in the cottage again, so you don't have to drive at all!"
"You really have thought of everything!" Joe exclaimed as he squeezed her hand tightly, and she laughed.
"Of course! I used to be a former Queen, didn't you know?"