thanks for the awesome reviews. i'm glad you guys enjoyed the first chapter andi'm having a great time writing chapters for this story. please leave a review.
disclaimer- twilight, new moon, eclipse and breaking dawn belong to stephenie meyer and so do the characters
Bella Swan was ordinary. A standard job, a normal home, a typical life and she was willing to do anything to change that. Her day had been the usual routine as it always was. Never a surprise, not even a practical joke played on her from a student that hated her that she could have shared with her coworkers during the lunch hour. Every class period she taught was more boring than the last and every day, she was wishing for some sort of excitement in her life, whether it was an early dismissal due to the weather or an infection going around the school, she didn't care.
The usual and plain humdrum was making her constantly sick to her stomach and today's morning had been no different.
She had awakened in the house that had been gifted to her from her friends in La Push. It wasn't too big but being the house's only resident, she could almost hear her echo reverberating through the air when she occasionally would talk to herself.
After eating her well prepared milk and cereal, she'd dressed in her usual sweatshirt and jeans with her long trench coat pulled on tightly as she left her quiet house and walked the few blocks, despite her violent cold, to the private high school where she worked.
When she had walked into her classroom after shuffling with her keys while her nose ran, she had rushed toward her desk and grabbed several tissues instead of giving any attention to her friend, Jessica Stanley, who had been grinning widely at her without any awareness to Bella's discomfort.
Once she had forcefully blown her nose, Bella had turned her notice to her Art History teaching friend.
"Bella! Guess what?" Jessica didn't wait for her to guess which was typical of her. "Mike asked me out last night! Can you believe it?"
To show Jessica that she had heard her words, she had sniffed and wiped the back of her hand across her nose. She felt too tired to put on her charade as the excited and loyal friend like Jessica deserved.
"That's great and I'm happy for you," she answered lamely. "I hope you both have an awesome time. I heard that Mike's a good person and really fun to be around." She idly wondered whether or not Jessica could hear the dry and uncaring tone of her voice. At least, she'd said enough words to satisfy her friend.
When Jessica didn't seem to notice Bella's lack of enthusiasm, she sighed in relief.
"He's taking me to that new fancy restaurant that just opened on the other side of Manhattan."
Bella had given an absent nod of her head. She had to remind herself that it wasn't Jessica's fault that she never realized Bella wasn't the type of girl who was interested in conferring about men and relationships. Jessica had clearly found the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, although she didn't exactly know him. Who was Bella, though, to reign in on her friend's parade? She had no right but she wasn't one who could empathize.
Discussions about men didn't hold her attention the way debating over Kate's qualities from Taming of the Shrew did with her friend, Angela. She, however, didn't have the courage to tell Jessica she didn't care about her life in fear of hurting her.
After all, there was always someone who kept her happy since that fateful night seven years ago and Jessica was inadvertently doing just that as she kept Bella's mind from wandering back to that horrible memory.
A ringing bell sounded through the classroom door. Sighing, Bella transformed herself into the role of a teacher, hiding who she really was.
She hardly noticed Jessica's warning about staying away from Front Street when she walked home due to the rumored fight that was supposed to take place during the evening. Bella only brushed off Jessica's words. Things like that were being said every hour of every day and she had yet to encounter any gunshots.
She pulled off her coat and hung it on her chair before she sat at her desk, readying the assignment for the class while the students huddled into the room. She watched as Bianca, a definite member of the dance team, lithely strode into the room with a few of her friends and pulled out what looked to be a bottle of nail polish.
Bella instantly recoiled, feeling the phlegm as it clogged her throat. She could already hear her labored breathing and the yell from long ago that she knew she would never hear again.
"Is that nail polish?" she had asked Bianca in an uneasy voice.
The girl's blue eyes trailed from one of her friend's and into that of Bella's pained ones. "Yeah. Why, Miss Swan? Do you want to try it on?"
Bella rushed to get the words out before she hyperventilated, ignoring the disgust from her student's words. "I'm severely allergic to that so could you please put that bottle back into your locker?"
Bianca's annoyed face turned serious as she nodded, all the mirth completely evaporating. "Sorry, Miss Swan. If I had known, I wouldn't have brought it with me." She quickly stood from her chair and pocketed the offending bottle.
Flicking her hand casually as if was no big deal, Bella told the girl to be in her seat before the second bell rang. She actually waited to take attendance until after the girl had walked sheepishly into the room two minutes late.
With another heave of a sigh, she collected the essays that were sure to be written in a way that would make her flinch from each of her six classes. That was a definite indication of what she would be doing for the rest of her night.
But this right now, sitting on the cold concrete with a man holding a gun, was not something that she could have ever predicted in her future. It made that terrible day from her past resurface from the hidden vault where she had securely locked it away and she struggled to hold it back.
While her internal battle raged on, she was aware of the sound of gunshots and the yells of pain. She could almost feel the bullets hitting their victim's body.
The smell of rust and salt persisted around her as every drop of blood fell. Bella could feel the nausea from before rising within her, sure that she was not strong enough to fight it. Bella silently hoped that the man with her wouldn't shoot her if she happened to accidentally vomit on him. She knew she needed anything to distract herself and so, she stared into the man's face, studiously ignoring his shoulder and the hand straining on top of it, not realizing that his man was unabashedly watching her in return.
His green eyes searched her face as if he were looking for answers in hers. His gaze was relentless and it made Bella feel on edge. No one had ever stared at her with such intensity before and she couldn't help but speculate as to what questions were whirling in his mind.
All too soon, the search stopped though, when a bullet nearly missed Bella by a few inches and ricocheted off of a garbage din and dropped uselessly to the hard concrete. The man's probing eyes left her own and masked into a furious glare, his head snapping towards the action. Bella could hear a low growl building in his chest.
He twisted around and fired his gun at a gaunt man who was close to strangling what seemed to be this man's partner. Instantly, the gaunt man's hand dropped from the partner's throat and then she knew the man with her was torn between the indecision of staying with her or supporting in what was now a one man battle against several enemies.
The man's dilemma was short-lived when a silver motorcycle and a Jeep rounded into the street from a sharp turn. The look of uncertainty changed into determination. Bella watched as the torment in the man's eyes slowly subsided until he looked almost… relieved. The vehicles must've belonged to his men, she realized.
Unaware that she was openly staring again, the man's head swiveled back to gaze at her. She felt both surprised and disgusted to see the smirk on his face. He was handsome, there was no doubt, but somehow he was almost ugly to her as well.
The sheer enjoyment as he killed made her sick to her stomach. How could he like that? How could someone not feel guilty about taking another person's life away no matter how much crimes they had committed? But who was she to complain? It was his life at any rate and he could live it any way he wanted to.
A drop of water as it fell onto his cheek and then another onto hers broke Bella away from her musings. This was just perfect. Beyond a doubt, she would have pneumonia by the end of the day with her luck. The sprinkles of rain continued, becoming harsher at one moment in time but even then, the man held her gaze. She could feel herself getting soaked as she examined the blood on his hand covered shoulder being washed away.
Her bag was soaked but nonetheless, she pulled out her handkerchief with her name sewn on in cursive and tied it around the man's shoulder, feeling as if this man owed her something. Then again, though, she decided not to tell him she'd wiped her nose on it earlier.
His eyes rested on her name. "Bella," he whispered in a soft, low voice that almost sounded reverent.
She didn't say anything back to him, feeling confused when her palms started to freeze like ice from hearing the sound of his voice. The feeling was unpleasant.
"Edward." Again, he whispered. "My name is Edward."
Hearing those words escape his mouth, Bella couldn't help but let out a subdued laugh. Of all the things he could say, he just had to introduce himself.
She continued to remain silent and a look of disappointment marred his features. She was willing to bet that he felt almost idiotic for revealing his name to a complete stranger who could tip off the police about him but her intuition told her that that wasn't the case.
Couldn't all of this just end? If only she had just listened to Jessica.
"Do you trust me?" he asked her all of a sudden.
Bella could think of no answer to that.
"I don't know," she answered back slowly, confused at the strange look on his face.
He turned his head when the sound of gunshots dropped. "Well, it doesn't matter. I'm going to try to get you out of here and safely to your home."
At his words, Bella couldn't stop the anger from rising. "Safely? That sounds a bit hypocritical, doesn't it? I don't need someone like you knowing where I live. For all I know, you could murder me next."
Edward flinched back from the biting tone of her voice, his face pained. "I'm sorry for all of this." His apology got lost in the mix of a rumbling thunder.
And then, the gunshots completely stopped as well as the rain. Edward stood from his hiding place from behind the car. His eyes roamed the whole street, making certain that there was no danger any longer. He allowed his eyes to lock on a blond man who was being held against his will by Edward's men.
"James," Edward acknowledged bitterly.
Even as James struggled, he grinned mirthlessly back. "Edward, it's been a long time since I last saw you. Wasn't it at someone's funeral?" He mocked thought. "Oh, yeah, it was your dad. Tell him I said hi when you get to Hell."
Edward's eyes narrowed and his hand clenched into a tight fist which he connected harshly with James' jaw. James spurted out blood from his mouth but he didn't stop smiling maniacally, his teeth shone red. Edward threw a punch at James' stomach.
A scream of pain sounded through the air and a window from a nearby building rumbled shut.
Bella frantically stood at the agonized noise. She knew he could see her there, watching her from his peripheral vision. She turned to stare at Edward as he sadistically pounded the man in front of him.
James, however, only cackled, the echo hurting Bella's ears. It was the single most menacing sound she had ever heard. She could see the blood covering his teeth as he roared with laughter and then there was Edward as he allowed his pistol to violently swipe against James' cheek.
"You're a sinner, Edward. You've committed so many that I hardly doubt you're not going to Hell. That's where you belong along with your father and your mother and Carlisle and the rest of your 'family'. That's where you are destined to go."
No longer able to stand it, Edward forced his gun into James' mouth. His own face crumpled in agony, the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. Yet he gritted his teeth and allowed some steel to force itself into his eyes.
Bella watched as he struggled to think. He was fighting back some pain, something that made him almost seem like a young, vulnerable boy, though the failure was clear on his face.
But her own pain, as she watched the scene in front of her, was infinitely worse. This was the second time in her life where she had to witness something like this. Bella pressed her fist into her mouth to keep her own scream from coming out. She bit her knuckles hard when James yelled again.
This time, the nausea didn't come from the blood on her fingers or the blood surging out from the man being tortured.
Bella could think of only one thing that she could do.
"Don't shoot, Edward!" his partner yelled.
He deliberated. Instead of completely removing the gun, Edward pulled it away from James' mouth sluggishly and forced it on his forehead.
"Come on, Edward. Shoot me. Shoot me and get this all over with. You know you've wanted to do this for the past five years and now you have the perfect chance. Don't waste your time but… wait. What would Carlisle think?" James' voice was soft and ominous but the words were enough that Edward pulled away.
"Get. Out. Of. My. Sight," he fumed.
Then, James was being thrown carelessly to the ground by Edward's partner who kicked him vigorously on his stomach. Another yell pierced the air.
Edward, though, didn't care. He turned his attention to where Bella had been standing. With a piercing stab of despair, he realized that she was no longer there.
--
The sun shined obliquely into the white room. The dust motes danced with carelessness around his head as Edward played a melancholic song on his ivory piano. His head rested on the frame and a drop of water fell onto the wood from his wet hair. He felt confused and utterly lost and hopelessly mesmerized.
His thoughts returned to the previous night. Bella's words cut him through and through. It was just so ironic that a man like him could ever try to save someone's life. He couldn't even save his own dad's when he was in medical school so how was he supposed to do that for an innocent woman?
She was right and James was right and that thought made him unbearably sad.
Her face, her words, everything about her stuck with him as if his memory of her became his only memory. The look in her expression brought back the memories from so long ago and he could almost see those events of his past life playing out before his eyes.
This woman, who shouldn't have mattered, just so unfalteringly bemused him that he could think of nothing else. Was he doing wrong? Was Carlisle, his own father, sending him directly through the path that would land him right in the place he was running from?
He could hear Esme, Emmett and Alice whisper about him but he didn't care. All that mattered was the truth and how it had hit him so swiftly and so hard that his breath had been knocked out of him.
"Edward?" a motherly voice asked from behind him. "You haven't had any breakfast. Do you want something to eat?"
Edward closed his eyes and shook his head but he could still feel Esme's presence behind him. He could feel her hands as they rested comfortingly on his shoulders. He could feel her avoiding the gauze there. "What's wrong? You haven't spoken to anyone since you've gotten home."
He shook his head again, unwilling to say even one word.
"I bet it's about that girl," Emmett's voice boomed. "Seriously, Edward. Just because she's the first woman who looks at you-"
"Hypocrite," Edward murmured, thinking back to Rosalie Hale. Then, in a slightly louder volume he said, "And it's not about her. I could care less about that woman."
Lie. Lie. That's all a lie. You're a liar, Edward.
"What are you talking about?" Alice asked, her voice laced with confusion. As if she already didn't know. "What woman?"
"I protected a woman who was at the wrong place at the wrong time, all right? I didn't save her life. She ran away from the scene on her own."
"Well, the past is the past and there's no need to dwell on it. It's not as if you're going to have to witness the woman like that again. Carlisle said that he wanted to talk to you anyway," Alice explained. "He's up in his study now."
Edward nodded and hurried his way to Carlisle's study. Carlisle was waiting for him, sitting at his desk with a smile on his face.
"I heard about last night's events from Emmett," he stated calmly. "You've been doing a lot of thinking." His words weren't a question and Edward didn't ask how Carlisle knew what thoughts were troubling his mind. "You're younger than the rest of us and I, too, questioned many things when I was your age but I've seen a lot of things in my life and I know that what I do is not wrong."
"You're a doctor, Carlisle. You save lives." No need to ask how Carlisle knew he was feeling troubled. The good doctor knew everything about everyone.
"I destroy them as well. Those who commit crimes do not deserve their lives if they don't understand how valuable life actually is."
"But you can't be the judge of that. You don't have the right."
Somehow, Carlisle treasured Edward in a way that was almost irrational. It wasn't only the fact that he was a good fighter but he was a good man too. The thought made Carlisle grin, just about as much as Edward's line of questioning.
Carlisle's eyes sparked with compassion for his son. "Edward, I can try."
Edward's smile didn't reach his eyes but he hoped he understood soon enough what Carlisle was trying to say.
"Now," Carlisle began, his tone businesslike, "let's discuss your duty for the day. I reserved this job for you and no one else."
And just like that, Edward's attention left the girl and his thoughts. Carlisle was a genius, he thought. Once again, he became the man he was before the night's events-uncaring, indifferent and completely irrational, the way Carlisle wanted him to be, the way he was made to be.
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