February

Daryl knocked lightly on the glossy yellow door.

"Hey man," Jim's eyes bore two heavy bags but his face held a smile filled with pride, "come take a look."

Daryl stepped through the door to see Charlene dozing on the sofa all curled up in a little ball with her arm as a pillow under her head. He met Jim's smile then moved around the sofa to take a peek at the main event. Two bassinets sat side by side next to Charlene and each contained a little blue bundle.

"Jesus," when Jim and Charlene had announced they were expecting twins Daryl had snorted his beer out of his nose at the bad luck in it. Seeing them here all scrunched up in their little sailboat covered baby-gro's he couldn't help but melt and think how lucky his friends were.

The boys had been born almost three weeks ago but they had only been home since yesterday. They were named Rex for Jim's grandfather and Wade for Charlene's. They weren't identical and already he could see the differences. Wade was fair with the tiniests wisps of his mama's red colouring. Rex was more like his daddy with a full head of thick dark hair. Both had the tiniest little button noses, scrunched up hands and soft little pursed lips as they snoozed contentedly.

"They givin' ya'll hell?" Daryl chuckled as he watched Jim half falling asleep where he stood.

"Eh, what?" Jim spluttered, regaining his senses.

"Nothin'," Daryl chuckled again but part of him couldn't help the stab of jealousy that struck him like it so often did when he was with Jim and Charlene.

"Get you a coffee?" Jim said.

"I'll get it," Daryl patted his friend's back before watching him collapse into the armchair with a sigh then he made his way to the kitchen to get the coffee machine going.

There was a pile of dirty dishes sitting uncharacteristically on the side. He he craned his neck back to the living room to see the whole Fulton family sleeping peacefully to the tune of Jim's light snores before rolling up his sleeves and filling the sink.

With his coffee in hand and the washing up drying on the drainer he made his way back into the lounge. One of the babies was stirring, kicking his little legs and hitting his fists against the mattress hard enough to shake his bassinette. Daryl watched him in awe. He couldn't believe that just a few weeks ago this perfect little person had been inside Charlene's tummy. It was bizarre yet at the same time the most normal thing in the world.

The baby's kicks became more agitated. Daryl glanced at Charlene who was still getting some much needed sleep. With a resigned sigh he set his coffee on the mantle of the fireplace next to the wedding photo that stood pride of place. He hesitated, positioning his hands which seemed so large before they finally wrapped around the tiny little bundle.

He couldn't believe how light Rex's little body was as he cradled him in his arms trying to settle him down. He put his nose to the soft hair to breathe in some of that new baby smell that everyone kept banging on about. All he could smell was sour milk and lotion. Didn't smell too great in his opinion but what did he know about babies?

He walked to the window, patting Rex's diaper covered bottom in the way he had seen people do at some point or another. Then he heard Wade beginning to stir. His attention turned to the other bassinet.

"What the hell?" Daryl whispered to himself as he shifted Rex awkwardly in his arms while he tried to figure out how to pick up Wade.

Fucking hell, this was like baby Tetris. A goddamn nightmare but he figured it out eventually and with plenty of difficulty as he held them like a pair of footballs and walked around the room as quietly as he could.

"You stealing my babies?" Charlene mumbled.

"Hell no!" 20 minutes of pacing was definitely enough.

"You alright keeping hold of them while I fetch their milk?" Charlene didn't wait for his answer, she rubbed her tired eyes and padded into the kitchen for what felt like forever before she emerged with two tiny bottles and daryl breathed a sigh of relief.

She took Wade from one arm before replacing the baby with a bottle.

Daryl stared at the bottle, "ya want me to?"

"Mmm hmm."

After a couple more hours at the Fulton's he was all babied out and pleased to be getting back into his truck and heading home. He smiled as he passed the Dixon sign that stood at the end of the drive. He'd replaced it a few days after the Horvath's left and even after seven months it still made him smile. It probably always would.

When he pulled up outside the house he spotted Zach and Rooster standing around like two headless chickens. "What ya'll doin'?" he shouted as he climbed out of his truck.

"Just waitin' on you boss," Rooster grinned.

"Ya'll finished in the fields?"

"Yes Sir," Zach enthused.

Lady bounded over to take her place at his side. He'd thought it would be best to leave the little hell raiser here while he went to see the twins.

"Ya'll better get started on the stables then…" he gestured to Rooster and Zach who he knew were probably just waiting around for the fresh batch of cookies that were wafting their enticing smell out of the kitchen window.

"Aw! Ain't you gonna make her bring one out to us? We've been waiting on those cookies for the past twenty minutes," Rooster grumbled.

"Ya mean ya'll have been waitin' on my dime? I'll be settin' a goddamn cookie ban if ya'll don't get movin'."

He bounded up the porch and into the kitchen before grabbing a cookie and shoving it in his mouth. Goddamn, these cookies were good.

"Will you put that dog outside? She's such a nuisance."

Daryl turned to Lady who was sitting like butter wouldn't melt, except for the way her tongue was inching out to try and scoop up an unsuspecting cookie off the cooling rack on the kitchen table.

"Sorry girl," he whispered to the coonhound as he shuffled her outside, shutting the screen door and trying to ignore the puppy dog eyes that got him every time.

"Ya could have come with me to see the twins."

"I thought you might like to go alone," her hands sat on his chest and his breathing faltered, "there's something about little babies… don't you think Daryl?"

He cleared his throat as he inched away, "they're alright."

Cassie's lips on his were gentle and just as unexpected as they had been when she first kissed him. He closed his eyes, trying to give himself into the kiss and to the woman behind it but he couldn't. He couldn't kiss her and conjure the feeling that he wanted to have when he kissed a woman.

He pulled back and gripped her wrists, "I have to go tend the horses."

"I know," Cassie smiled, turning back to the cookies she was baking for some church bake sale that always seemed to be coming up. He wasn't even entirely sure why she was in his kicthen right now but he did like that it wasn't empty.

He ran up stairs to his room before stripping off the fresh shirt and jeans he had pulled on for visiting the babies. He dug through his dresser to find some work jeans and a t-shirt. Then like he so often did, he found the photo of Kate that was hidden, but accessible, under a pile of clothes in his drawer.

It was a shot taken at Jim and Charlene's wedding. Jason had seen fit to bring it over along with several others just after Kate had left and he was feeling at his most miserable. He'd wanted to throw it away but he hadn't. Just like he still hadn't thrown away the red dress.

Daryl got the photo out of its hiding spot more times than he wanted to ever admit to anyone. He hadn't seen her or spoken to her for the last seven months but he'd thought about her everyday. Seeing Jim's babies today had only made him think about her more than ever. He was still in love with her. He wanted more than anything for it to be Kate downstairs in that kitchen right now.

"Jesus," he wasn't sure how things had gotten in so deep with Cassie. He'd seen her at Jim and Charlene's a few times and she'd obviously forgiven him for making her look stupid that day at the fair or at least she didn't mention it. One night she had turned up at the farmhouse with a crock pot full of something delicious. It had tasted so good after a long day at work that he'd agreed for her to do it again. Over the last few months she'd brought him dinner, lunch, sometimes even breakfast. She'd started spending time at the farm and tending Irma's vegetable garden. It had been nice having the help and he thought she enjoyed mothering him as much as he enjoyed being mothered when he had been working full time at the museum on top of everything with the farm.

Last night he had slumped on the sofa in exhaustion, enjoying the feeling of a full tummy. Cassie had taken a seat next to him but instead of flicking on the TV like she usually did her hand had landed on his thigh and her lips had pressed against his. Apparently she wanted to take care of him in all ways. He liked her cooking and looking after him so much that he could hardly think of a way to say 'no', even if it had felt wrong.

Cassie hated his smoking, she hated his Daddy, she hated Merle, she hated the motorcycle that he tinkered on when he should have been working. She even hated his dog. But she loved the farm and she loved taking care of him. It should have been an easy choice to let her in his empty bed. She'd be a real useful partner even if he did have to pretend he'd quit smoking and try his best to keep Lady out from under her feet.

But dammit, he didn't want useful, practical Cassie with her mousy hair, disapproving looks and a swear jar that he filled most months. He wanted wild, impractical, Kate with her stubborn streak a mile wide, her curves in all the right places and kisses that set his whole body on fire. Even now he wanted her just as much as he always had. He didn't know how Kate would fit on this farm with him except to just be there making him laugh, making him crazy and looking goddamn gorgeous. But she was the one for him and before he settled, he had to know.

In the same drawer as the photo was the passport he'd swore he wouldn't apply for. He grabbed it from its spot.

Cassie was going to fucking kill him. Charlene probably would too.

He grabbed his cellphone off the top of the dresser and called Jason's number.

"Hey."

"Ya still wantin' to help me book some flights?"

"Really?" he could hear the excitement in Jason's voice. "When for?"

"Sooner the better or I might change my mind." Either that or Cassie would trick him into marrying her. "Ya think ya can watch over the farm for me?"

"I've been tellin' ya I will for months! I'm coming over, you better have your credit card at the ready."

Daryl grunted. He'd forgot about that part. All his savings. Maybe flying across the world for a woman wasn't the best idea. He looked at the photo once more and he knew it wasn't even an option.

Jason sat hunched over his laptop with a million windows open as he tried to plan the soonest and cheapest way for Daryl to get over the Atlantic in the next few days.

Daryl was only thankful that Cassie had disappeared off to church with her stacks of cookies leaving behind a small plateful and a note that said, 'thanks for letting me use your oven :)'. Apparently Cassie's oven was too old for any serious baking and Daryl's kitchen was just "better" in her words.

"You can leave in two days," Jason said. "Yer sure 'bout this?"

He crushed his palm against his eyes and shook his head, "ya think its stupid?"

"Yup. But sometimes you gotta be stupid."

"What ya think she's gonna say?"

"I dunno, but a man flies across the world, hopefully she won't say much of anythin' if ya know what I mean," Jason winked shamelessly and Daryl couldn't help but pray he was right. The idea that he could have Kate's body wrapped around his in a few days was enough to leave him with a strain in his jeans.

"What ya gonna do 'bout Cassie?"

"I dunno, we were never a couple, she's just been comin' around on 'er own."

"Spoken like a damn dog," Jason grinned with a shake of his head.

"Shit." What had he been thinking letting Cassie help herself to his life? He'd just been so busy working all hours and missing Kate like he'd lost a damn limb that he'd never noticed how much she was coming around. He'd never realised her intentions or maybe he'd just ignored them and figured it didn't matter because he was never going to make a move on her.

"If yer lucky Kate will sort Cassie out if ya ever get 'er back here. How ya gonna know where to find her anyway?"

"Lou gave me her new address in one of his letters. Said I should contact her."

"Sneaky old bastard," Jason laughed, "why didn't ya?"

"I was pissed off."

"An' now?"

"I'm still pissed off but I... I just need to know if she's changed her mind."

"Air mail would be a damn sight cheaper for ya to ask 'er how she feels."

"I need to show 'er how much I want 'er. I need to have my hands on 'er when I tell her how much she goddamn pissed me off and how much I still love 'er. An' I figure I've got a better chance of winnin' 'er over face to face."

Jason laughed hard. "What is it they say 'bout wishful thinkin'?"

"Just book the damn tickets."