Chapter Six
A/N:
Hello, everyone!
Things are going to get rather complicated from now on and a way bit darker. The fic will have some angst.
I won't be able to update every day from now on, as I did before. The reason for this is that the previous chapters were already written, and it was easier to edit and post. I am about to finish Chapter 7, though, and will continue to post regularly. Just not every day! :D
Thanks so much for all your reviews and for following this fic! It's always thrilling to see that people like what they're reading! :D
…
The journey to the Hinterlands proved to be a very pleasant one, especially for Beatrix and Cullen. They were gradually growing closer, and the only time they camped, sat in front of the fire quietly talking to each other after Solas had gone to his tent to meditate. Beatrix asked him about his life as a templar, and he readily told her exactly what that meant.
"Why did you become a templar?" Beatrix asked. Her eyes were twinkling, and Cullen smiled. He had already discovered that every time they twinkled it meant that she was about to tease him. He braced himself as he replied.
"I wanted to help, to protect others."
"From magic?"
Cullen sighed. "Yes. As you know it does have a lot to do with magic and mages. But that was not my only reason to join. For me, the most pressing reason was that I truly wanted to protect others."
Beatrix smiled. "And do you take vows? You know, I swear myself to the Maker, I swear to obey the Order above all else…?
"Your brother's a templar, right? Didn't he ever tell you about the ritual?" Cullen asked curiously.
"We rarely saw him after he joined." Beatrix's smile did not reach her eyes. "I miss him."
Cullen knew not to say another word. While he and the rest of the advisors knew that Andras had probably died in the explosion, he also was aware that Beatrix did not believe this and talked as if her brother was still alive. In fact, he was pretty sure she was determined to find him. He wondered if her idea to get the templars had anything to do with this.
"So, did you take chastity vows?" Beatrix asked in a rush after a few moments, interrupting his thoughts completely. Her cheeks were crimson, but her eyes were twinkling up a storm. He could see the mirth in them and felt himself falter.
"I – um…" Cullen said awkwardly, blushing to his ears. "I – no! I never did. Some templars do marry, but they have to have permission from the Order to do that."
"Good to know," she smirked.
Cullen's hand automatically flew to the back of his neck nervously while he tried to pull himself together. "Maker's breath," he muttered, but Beatrix heard him, loud and clear. She chuckled and turned her gaze back to the fire before them.
Companionable silence followed their conversation and after a short while, she turned to look at him again.
"And," she said softly, pausing to look around the camp for eavesdroppers before she spoke. "did you leave anyone special behind in Kirkwall?"
"No. There was no one special in Kirkwall or anywhere else for that matter. But I can't say the same about Haven," Cullen replied, his eyes on her, his gaze intense. She looked down at the ground shyly, a soft smile on her lips.
At that moment, a tired Varric flopped to the ground right next to Beatrix. He was carrying a dead nug.
"I caught dinner!" he said proudly with a grin, laying the dead animal before the fire. "Who's cooking?"
…
Beatrix led them to the camp they had in the outskirts where they left the horses. It was a quick trip to the camp in Lake Luthias from there, so they stopped to refill potions, and headed out on foot. Cullen walked right beside her, his eyes skirting up and around them cautiously. He knew Beatrix had dealt with the major threats, but there was still plenty of dangerous wildlife in the area.
Veering to the left, Beatrix led them up a winding path to the Lake Luthias camp. She stopped to gather some blood lotus there, while the rest stood around, waiting patiently. Cullen kept a smile on his face. He realized that she contributed to their potions on a regular basis. Even in the midst of a mission, she was thinking about ingredients.
After she had wiped the area clean of blood lotus, she left the reddish leaves and bulbs at the alchemist stand in the camp and led them up the path to the upper part of the lake. It was here that they encountered a bear, hunting the rams that ran around the area.
Instinctively, Cullen stood before Beatrix with his sword drawn and shield held in front of him as the growling bear headed towards them both. Beatrix had other plans, however. She disappeared in a puff of smoke and reappeared behind the bear, her daggers slicing into the animal's rough hide, just as Cullen delivered a whack on the animal's snout with his shield, stunning it in place. Magical, transparent images of Beatrix appeared, dancing around the animal with great speed and slicing it in the sides and underbelly where the hide was softer. Taking advantage of the animal's confusion, Cullen thrust his sword up the bear's throat. It groaned once and fell to the ground dead at his feet.
Solas and Varric quickly sheathed their weapons.
"Looks like you two don't need us," Varric commented with a grin. "Have you ever fought together before?"
Beatrix laughed. "No! I guess we're in sync."
The Commander let out a chuckle and nodded once, his warm golden gaze on her.
"We should all get to the exact location to see about this warden," Solas added with a small smile. "Hopefully he'll still be in the area."
"Yeah. If he isn't, we'll have to look around all over the Hinterlands and that just means more walking and fighting, which is something we don't want to do, right?" Varric replied with a smirk.
Beatrix and Cullen washed the blood off themselves quickly, then headed out towards a wooden ramp-like bridge that had been built over the lake to cross to a cottage on the other side. They could see a group of people had gathered there, and hear one of them speaking, but could not hear what he was saying until they got closer.
The man who was doing the talking had a beard and was dressed in a warden chest piece. It was obvious to Beatrix and her team that he was giving the people with him instructions on how to fight and carry a shield.
"Blackwall?" Beatrix called out as soon as they got close. "Warden Blackwall?" The man started and looked at her with surprise.
"Who are you?" he demanded suspiciously.
But before Beatrix could reply, an arrow came whizzing directly at them both, and the warden barely had time to lift his shield. The arrow embedded itself there with a faint thud and Blackwall ordered the men with him to charge.
Cullen ran forward to attack, Beatrix disappeared as she had before, but this time Varric was ready. He shot a volley of arrows directly at the bandits, two of them instantly killing one. "One for me!" he shouted happily, as Solas burned another one alive.
In a matter of minutes, all the bandits lay dead before them. Blackwall turned back to the men he had been giving instructions to and told them they could take back what the bandits had stolen and return to their families. Then he sheathed his sword and walked over to where Beatrix and her team stood.
"Who are you and how do you know my name?" he demanded.
"I know your name because I'm an agent of the Inquisition," Beatrix answered briskly. "I was told to come find you. The Divine is dead and all the wardens have disappeared. We're investigating this. Do you know where they could have gone to?"
"Maker's balls," the warden muttered. "The Divine dead and the wardens missing? You're not suggesting we had anything to do with it? The wardens don't mix themselves in politics."
"You don't know where they went?" Beatrix asked, her eyes narrowing slightly.
"Maybe they went to Weisshaupt?" Blackwall replied thoughtfully. "That's our stronghold up north in the Anderfels. Maybe I don't know because there's a new directive and the runner got lost?" He shrugged nonchalantly.
Beatrix's eyes sparked angrily. "Well, Warden Blackwall. Thank you for your insight, but it hasn't helped me at all." She turned and stormed away, passing the warden and Cullen on her way. Her team walked behind her not daring to speak, as they could clearly see how angry she was. Beatrix was the kind of person that hated wasting time. It put her in a terrible mood. Before they could reach the wooden bridge, Blackwall called out to her.
"Agent of the Inquisition!" He ran up to her and stopped. Beatrix turned to face him and waited to hear what he had to say, clenching and unclenching her fists.
"The Divine is dead and the demons are threatening us all. I wish to join you and maybe discover where all the wardens have gone."
"I appreciate your concern, Warden Blackwall, but what can one warden do?" she asked coldly, raising an eyebrow haughtily.
"Save the fucking world, if pressed," Blackwall replied with a laugh. He ignored her tone completely as he chuckled. Then he grew serious. "Look, I don't know how to fight demons, but I don't think anybody did when this mess started. This warden walks with the Inquisition."
Beatrix finally smiled back, her anger disappearing as she considered one more person fighting in the field. They truly needed more people – there were so many demons out there! He didn't seem to be a bad sort, but something about him had struck her the wrong way. Even so, she decided to give him a chance.
"Warden Blackwall, the Inquisition welcomes you into its ranks."
…
Cullen didn't talk at all about the newest addition to the Inquisition. Beatrix knew she would have to talk to him alone, because he was on his guard around Blackwall, and she caught him watching the warden when he thought no one was paying attention. She certainly was curious about what he would say, and a little nervous also, because he was entirely too serious with her.
They found a place to set up camp on their way back to Haven, and Beatrix went hunting for something to eat with Varric, leaving the rest to set up the tents, tend to the horses and build a fire.
"Something on your mind, Buttercup?" Varric asked, when they were out of earshot from the camp.
"I'm thinking about…whether or not I should have recruited Blackwall," she replied slowly, a worried look on her face.
"Because of Curly?" Varric asked, a lopsided grin on his face.
"No!" Beatrix hurried to say, then fell silent. After a few moments she stole a glance at Varric who was still smiling knowingly and sighed. "Alright, yes. A little. He's been so serious and quiet with me."
"And hasn't stopped looking at Blackwall," Varric added.
"That, too."
They stopped walking and Beatrix now moved towards a fallen log where she sat. Varric promptly sat beside her.
"I don't like the guy much either," Varric commented. "Looks like he's trying hard to please someone, or convince someone of something."
"Yes, I got that, too."
"Well, we need as many as possible to fight the demons – we know already that there are more rifts aside from the big one, so we need all the help we can get. We'll get a chance to see him fight again before we reach Haven. There's a strong chance we'll get attacked by something," Varric smirked.
"And here I thought we would have a nice peaceful ride back home," Beatrix sighed, standing up with a smile.
"We had a peaceful ride to the Hinterlands, Buttercup," Varric replied with a wide grin, standing up as well. "That means we're sure to be attacked on our way back."
…
Varric and Beatrix returned to the camp with two plump nugs. Blackwall greeted them with a smile and offered his help as he took the dead animals out of Beatrix's hands. Cullen saw this, then walked to the perimeter of the camp, turned and walked back to the fire. He continued to watch the warden while he paced, who was now helping Beatrix skin and clean the nugs. He did smile at Beatrix briefly, but the smile immediately vanished as he focused on the warden again. Standing close to the fire, he also noticed Varric listening to Blackwall as well. The dwarf's eyes were slightly narrowed, and his lips pursed. Solas was nowhere to be seen – he was probably meditating in one of the tents.
After they had set the nugs to be roasted over their campfire, Beatrix excused herself, saying she would go wash up in the creek that wasn't far from where they had set up camp.
"I'll go with you, my Lady," Blackwall said. "I need to clean up too."
"I'll go with you both," Cullen announced as he approached them. "I feel I need to splash some water on my face at the very least."
"Never knew you were this popular, Your Heraldness," Varric grinned, while Beatrix glared for a few moments at the dwarf.
"Let's just go," Cullen said a little impatiently and he walked ahead, Beatrix and Blackwall following close behind.
…
Their wash in the creek was a silent one, as well as their short walk back to the camp. As soon as they arrived, Beatrix turned to Cullen.
"May I have a word, Commander?" she inquired.
"Of course," Cullen said and followed her to the far end of the camp.
She sat on a fallen tree trunk and he did the same, looking at her closely. She seemed to be a little sad. Maker, had he done or said something to hurtful again?
"I couldn't speak to you before I recruited Blackwall, Commander. I'm sorry," she said in a low voice looking down at the ground. "I just accepted his offer since we're in need of people to fight."
Cullen started abruptly immediately after she had spoken her first words. He was dismayed to discover that she thought he resented the decision she'd made.
"Oh, I know that…um…my Lady Herald," he began, but did not get very far because she interrupted him.
"Don't call me that! Not you!" she practically shouted, her eyes flashing angrily for a moment. "I'm so tired of the 'Herald of Andraste' shit! I want to be me! Especially when I'm with you!"
Cullen didn't say anything for the first few minutes, waiting for her to calm down. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed deeply. She truly did hate the name that the people had given her.
"Beatrix," he said presently in a soft voice. She looked up at him. "I know that. I'm not sorry you recruited him, please believe me. It's just that there is something about him – I can't tell you what exactly. It's…puzzling, but also very annoying."
"I know. I've felt it and so has Varric. But does that mean you have to be so serious around me?" Beatrix commented with a sigh.
"I'm just a little concerned about him, that's all," he said softly. "It has nothing to do with you. I'd never question who you recruit."
"Never say 'never', Cullen," Beatrix replied with a smile. "It's dangerous."
He grinned back at that. "I'll keep that in mind."
"We'd better go back. I don't want to have burnt nug for dinner!"
"That would be a grave predicament indeed," Cullen agreed with a chuckle as he stood up. He held his hand down to her and she took it, bouncing back up with a laugh. She was standing so very close to him, her eyes shining and warm - for a brief second he wondered if she would react negatively to a kiss.
At that moment, at least ten men appeared out from the bushes, carrying daggers, bows and swords.
Cullen groaned inwardly.
Bloody bandits.
"I'd better see to the nugs before dealing with these idiots," Beatrix growled, disappearing into the shadows as Cullen drew his sword and shield.
He quickly bashed his shield at the bandit nearest to him, rushing forward a few seconds later to keep up with Beatrix. It was proving difficult, however, since she flitted in and out of the shadows. He frowned until he saw Blackwall, quietly dispatching a bandit. His movements were precise and the man was undisturbed by the fact that he was now facing three. Watching him as much as he could, Cullen killed another of the bandits, realizing that even though they were outnumbered, the bandits would all be dead soon.
Very soon.
Directly across from where he fought, Beatrix shouted at Varric to watch his back, and the dwarf turned quickly, only to shoot a bolt directly at his assailant's head. The bandit dropped dead as the bolt skewered him, his blood showering the dwarf.
"Varric, you fucker! Why did you have to open your mouth and say we were going to be attacked?" Beatrix yelled angrily as she slashed into another bandit.
"Got one more!" Varric yelled back, completely ignoring her comment as he continued to shoot off volley after volley of bolts. "That makes three for me!"
Solas had two bandits burning at the far end of the camp perimeter – a third approaching him with daggers drawn. He was keeping defensive shields up for the entire team, including their newest addition. Beatrix jumped nimbly over one of the dead bodies and rushed in to help the elven mage.
In a matter of minutes, Cullen was not surprised to watch the last bandit fall, the warden standing over the corpse, not a scratch on him. Whatever he was hiding suddenly didn't matter: Beatrix had never been so right when she'd decided to recruit him.
Blackwall was an invulnerable killing machine.
…
They arrived at Haven early in the afternoon, all of them grateful to be back at last. A scout was waiting for them at the stables.
"Your Worship, Commander," the lad said nervously as he saluted them both respectfully. "Sister Nightingale, Lady Cassandra and the Lady Ambassador require your presence in Chantry." They both nodded to the young scout, who ran off as soon as he was dismissed.
"Well, I could go for some washing up," Beatrix declared, wrinkling her nose at herself. "Can we do that before we meet them?"
"I could as well," Cullen chuckled. "We should meet with them first and see if there's news concerning our current situation."
"Always so dutiful and serious, Commander," Beatrix teased as they walked towards the Chantry together. "Maybe I should do something about that." Cullen nearly stopped walking. His blush was the darkest Beatrix had seen to date. It spread to his ears and disappeared down his neck. Briefly, she wondered if his chest would be crimson too, and blushed at the thought.
Stop that, brain! No more inappropriate thoughts!
Fortunately, they had arrived and Cullen pushed the door open. She wondered if he had seen her blushing and shook her head slightly.
"Any news?" she asked the ladies assembled around the war table.
Josephine handed her a parchment with a frown.
"Magister Alexius asked to see you to conclude the talks," she remarked as Beatrix took the parchment.
Beatrix read silently. She could feel Cullen watching her very closely, but did not acknowledge it. She was momentarily paralyzed by the missive she held in her hands and could actually physically feel the dread pooling in her stomach – and her anger as well – as she reached a sentence which she read over again. Twice.
Cullen could not detect anything amiss, since she kept her face blank while reading. He decided to simply wait for her to speak. Josephine, however, did not wait for her reaction. She broke the deafening silence in the room, giving them more insight into what the Magister had written.
"He demands that you go alone."
"No!" Cullen shouted, slamming his open hands on the table before him. "I will NOT allow it!"
Beatrix frowned, her eyes narrowing slightly as she regarded Cullen, the missive now forgotten.
"You won't allow it?" she repeated in a cool, low voice, her eyes shooting daggers at him.
"Redcliffe is the most defensible castle in Ferelden. If you go there alone, you'll die, and we'll lose the only means we have of sealing the Breach!"
As soon as Cullen had spoken those words, he knew he was in trouble. Firstly, he had no idea why he hadn't stopped himself from blurting them out; secondly, the fear in his heart over losing the only person in his life who was fast becoming so important to him on a romantic level clearly made him speak gibberish. He stared into her angry eyes, not daring to move a muscle.
"Of course, let us all not forget that I am important only because of the mark," Beatrix sneered, her cold gaze on him for a few moments before addressing the ladies in the room, making it a point to ignore Cullen completely. "There must be a way to get inside the castle without alerting the Magister, however. Do we have the means to obtain plans of the sewer entrances?"
"Wait!" Leliana interrupted. "I know another way in through a windmill near the village. It was an escape route from the castle that the Arl and his family could use if they were under attack."
Beatrix nodded, smiling back at her. "I'll be taking Cassandra, the Iron Bull and Solas as well as you Leliana. Could you get your best scouts and some of the soldiers inside?"
"We must go in pairs because the tunnel is very narrow, but yes. It can be arranged just fine," the Nightingale answered. "But we must take a small force. Anything else will just alert the Magister and we'll get caught."
"I'll have some of my best soldiers awaiting instructions from you, Sister Leliana," Cullen said quietly, not daring to look at Beatrix. "How many would you need?"
"I'd say six would be enough. I'm taking six of my best scouts as well."
At that moment, the door slammed open and Dorian Pavus walked in.
"Fortunately, you'll have my help," he announced to the room, the guards behind him promptly dismissed by Beatrix. Turning, she smiled at the Tevinter mage, who smiled back. "I know the way Alexius thinks, so I'm coming along."
"I'd be more than happy to have you with us, Dorian," Beatrix twinkled at him. Without turning to look at her advisors, she introduced him briefly, her eyes never leaving Dorian's face.
Cullen felt a jab of jealousy, but did not utter a single word. He merely clenched the pommel of his sword tighter, thinking about a few ways to hit the Tevinter mage before him. Unfortunately, since he had come to help Beatrix, there was nothing Cullen could do but stare at them both.
"Ambassador," Beatrix turned to Josephine. "I haven't forgotten the templars. We must have a second group ready to travel to Therinfal Redoubt."
Josephine nodded, scribbling furiously on the parchment on her clipboard. "Any suggestions on who will go for the templars with the nobles?"
Beatrix glanced at Cullen, who was staring at her intently. She could see that he was upset about Dorian, but she was so angry she didn't care. "The Commander can lead the group. I would suggest he take Blackwall, Varric, Sera and you should go too, Lady Ambassador, as well as the Chargers to protect the nobles. Madame Vivienne should also go to assist with the healing when necessary. Her healing spells are extraordinary, or so I've been told."
"Very, well, Herald," Josephine said with a smile as she continued to write.
"When would we be leaving for Redcliffe?" Cassandra asked curiously.
"Tomorrow at first light. So I suggest we take the rest of the day off to get ready." Beatrix smiled at them all and turned to leave, signaling the end of the meeting. She heard Cullen call out her name, but ignored him, slipping into stealth as soon as she left the room.
She didn't want to hear how sorry he was; she was very angry at him – angry and hurt. She had hoped they were heading towards a healthy romantic relationship in the near future.
Clearly she was wrong.
It was time she focused on duty alone. She could very well die tomorrow, there was no time for romance in her life. It was a good thing she was deciding this early. No harm done to herself and she could put it all behind her.
She sighed deeply as soon as she had closed the door to her cabin behind her. She opened a chest to look for soap and a towel to head over to the baths. A nice hot bath would do wonders and she could relax there. It wasn't like they had already declared their love for one another. She was merely infatuated with him. She would get over it soon enough.
She wouldn't even cry about it.
The lump in her throat said otherwise. She slowly sat at the only table in the room, her head in her hands, the tears welling up and starting against her will.
Alright, so she would have a good cry about it all then feel better, take a bath and get ready for dinner.
She nodded her head in agreement amidst her tears and thought the worst was over with. But if this was true, then…why did she feel so empty, as if she had just lost a part of herself?
A knock on the door startled her, and she quickly wiped her tears away, standing after a few moments. Her heart was hammering in her chest because she thought she would open the door to find Cullen on the other side. She braced herself and flung open the door, only to find Cassandra standing there.
"I am sorry to disturb you, but under the circumstances I thought I could see you for a few moments?" the Seeker began haltingly, unsure of Beatrix's reaction.
"I'm about to head over to the baths, but yes, I can spare a few minutes," Beatrix answered with a smile.
"A bath is not a bad idea. Everyone is tense," Cassandra smiled as she sat on the only chair in the room.
Beatrix took the soap and the towel from the table and sat on her bed, facing Cassandra.
"What can I do for you, Cassandra?" she inquired patiently.
Cassandra pursed her lips, a concerned look in her eyes. "I saw you were angry at the meeting. I just wanted to say. Maker!" The dark-haired Seeker sighed deeply.
"You came to say 'Maker'?" Beatrix asked, her eyes wide.
The Seeker smiled, shaking her head. "Sometimes it's difficult to speak what we want to say, is it not?"
"Oh, yes," Beatrix agreed, then tilted her head to the side, her curiosity suddenly peaking. "but you hardly have any difficulty blurting things out. You speak the truth, whatever it may be."
"So do you," Cassandra shot back. "And for that I am grateful. I dislike it when others beat around the bush."
"And, so, why are you here, then?"
Cassandra laughed. "I'm doing what I hate in others, beating around the bush, aren't I?" Her expression then turned serious. "In spite of you and I not always agreeing, I wanted you to know that I care about what happens to you, Herald. You are what we need, and I truly believe the Maker sent you to us. I know how upset you are. I know you've been crying also."
Beatrix blushed at this, her smile turning into a frown.
"I also experienced a lot of anger when I was younger. My brother, Anthony and I were very close. He died. They killed him in front of me. I let my anger keep me going in those dark times. But then I was sent to the Seekers, and I found my faith again," Cassandra continued.
Beatrix could not find the words, nor the courage to interrupt her. This woman was bearing her soul to her and she realized that she'd never opened herself up to anyone before. Beatrix understood all too well how that felt.
"I saw your anger. I know your brother must have perished in the Conclave and you are in denial," Cassandra stopped talking, looking deeply into Beatrix's eyes which had changed from warm to cold in barely a second.
Beatrix stood up, her anger getting the best of her. "I'm NOT in denial!" she exclaimed, her angry gaze on Cassandra, her chest heaving with each word. "My brother is alive! I know he is!" She clenched her fists and unclenched them, trying to breathe in and out – to control her temper before she did or said something foolish or hurtful.
Cassandra in the meantime, looked up at her, waiting patiently for her to calm down. Even though Beatrix had a terrible temper, and could hurt others deeply whenever she lashed out, she knew that she would eventually calm down and apologize. Not that Cassandra was waiting for an apology of any kind – far from it. She came to help her friend, and help she would.
Beatrix's breathing gradually slowed down, and she sat back down, a hurt expression on her face.
"It was not my intention to hurt you, my friend," Cassandra said softly.
"I wasn't upset because of that, I was – angry at someone…" Beatrix said, her voice low.
"Commander Cullen," Cassandra quickly supplied. Beatrix's startled eyes settled on the Seeker. "I imagined you would be hurt. Cullen often speaks without thinking. Now why does that sound familiar? Could it be that I know someone else who does that?"
Beatrix chuckled, surprising even herself. Her chuckle quickly turned to laughter. She felt much lighter, than before. Not really happier, but – lighter.
"You wanted to go to the baths, right?" Cassandra said, her voice laden with relief and a smile on her face. "I can walk with you there. In fact, I think I'll do the same and relax in a nice, hot bath."
They stepped outside the cabin, but when the Seeker turned to walk up the path, Beatrix grabbed her arm. Cassandra turned her head for only a moment, her kind brown eyes fixed on Beatrix's sapphire ones.
"Thank you, Cassandra. You've helped me a great deal today," Beatrix said softly.
The smile that her friend gave her was beautiful and Beatrix grinned back, glad that they had talked. Glad that they had grown closer.
Because there was nobody quite as loyal or sincere as Cassandra. And Beatrix thought that in spite of everything that had happened recently, she would be alright as long as she had friends like her to make her burden lighter.
…