Chapter 8
Thank you all for your lovely feedback! You all are awesome!
…
Beatrix sighed as she woke, her eyes staring at the wooden rafters above her bed. Two days had passed since the whole mess with Cullen had left her broken. Cassandra's words had helped, and her companions had all been to visit or had been with her whenever she was up and about.
She felt much better and thought it was time to leave the pain behind and tackle the Breach.
Cullen had tried to reach her so many times after he had yelled at her, that she had lost count. She didn't want to listen to him or his apologies, it was bad enough that she had nightmares about what she'd seen in the castle.
Today, however, she had to see him, along with the rest of her advisors and her companions. She would be calling a meeting to plan how to approach the Breach and who would be going with her.
She washed her face and combed her hair quickly, pulling it into a makeshift bun. Once she had cleaned her teeth and dressed in her leather armor, she opened the door and walked down the path, stopping a scout in her tracks before she reached the Chantry.
"Let the advisors know that I'll be waiting for them in the Chantry, please," she smiled at the young woman.
"At once, Herald," the scout saluted, turning to head to the Spymaster's tent.
Even though she cringed at the 'Herald' part, Beatrix did give her a smile before she turned. Sighing, she turned to the right, approaching Varric who was already welcoming her with a big grin.
"I'm calling a meeting soon," Beatrix smiled back at the dwarf. "We're to close the Breach today, Maker willing."
"So it's an important one, then," Varric commented. "Not to be a dark cloud hanging over you, but I hate meetings."
"You and me both, Varric," she sighed deeply.
"You're feeling better, right?" There was a slight tone of concern in his voice, even though he tried to hide it.
"Strong enough to seal the Breach, yes," was Beatrix's reply.
"That didn't answer my question, Buttercup."
She saw him pursing his lips, and shake his head once, still looking up at her…waiting…
"Better, yes. Thanks for your concern."
Beatrix didn't mean to sound stiff or cold and was sorry that her comment probably seemed that way, but Varric merely smiled. There was understanding in his eyes, which made her grin and chuckle. He was always there for her, and he knew her so well!
"And I'm going to be there when you close that Breach, don't you forget it!" He winked at her and her grin deepened.
"I wouldn't have it any other way."
…
Unbelievably, Cullen was the last to arrive at the war table room, a bit out of breath and totally flustered. He looked like he had gotten little to no sleep at all, and the purple bags under his eyes looked worse. Beatrix's concern was well hidden, however. Even though she felt a thrill when his eyes met hers, she looked away, head held high as she tried her best to ignore him completely.
"I'm closing that fucking Breach today," Beatrix said resolutely. "I merely called you all together because I want you all to be with me when I get to the Temple of Sacred Ashes. I want to be able to see you all, and share the moment – and if I don't surv– If I don't sur…" she swallowed, unable to finish her sentence. Even though death was so common in her life these days, she couldn't bring herself to say the words she wanted to say.
The whole room was quiet – no one dared to speak. But Cullen suddenly cleared his throat.
"You will not fail," he said softly, but loud enough that everyone heard. There was faith in that voice. Something she hadn't heard coming from Cullen yet. Until now.
She lifted her eyes to meet his, and the warmth, trust and adoration she saw there made her breath hitch. She didn't want to remember what had happened two days ago. She wanted to put it past her, and finally admit that she was falling head over heels for him. All at once, it felt hard to breathe.
He was right across from her, his eyes looking deeply into hers, alight with all the emotion he could give her. Everyone else in the room suddenly disappeared. There was nothing but Cullen, making her want to fly into his arms. Filling her with hope and determination, in a way she'd never felt before.
"We will be honored to accompany you, Herald," Blackwall said gruffly, his voice breaking the magic as she blinked, turning to them all with a dazed smile.
"I believe Vivienne, Dorian and Solas should test the mages and choose the best ones to help you with the Breach, Herald," Leliana said quietly. "There is no point in taking all of them."
"I agree," Cullen said, inclining his head. "I will take my best soldiers as well."
Not templars, Beatrix noticed. He wasn't taking any templars. She felt his trust filling her completely, making her want to laugh, cry, or just bask in it, forgetting even the Breach in her happiness.
"You will not be taking templars at all?" Cassandra asked with wide eyes.
"No. I don't think they will be necessary, unless the Herald thinks otherwise?" His eyes on her again, asking the silent question. But Beatrix saw then and there that he would trust her decision – whatever it was – and respect it. That alone made her feel happier, giddier even.
"I believe they won't be necessary either, but we could have a couple around to help in case there are demons?" Both Beatrix's smile and question were directed at him. And she knew that he understood. That he instantly knew how much she trusted him as well. Gold and sapphire mixed together in an intricate dance of warmth and happiness, oblivious to the rest.
"How long do you need to assess the mages?" the Ambassador spoke, directing her question at the mages in the room.
"I'm sure a couple of hours will suffice," Solas replied. Dorian gave a nod and Vivienne merely crossed her arms.
"Indeed," she said coldly, her voice ringing loud and clear. "However, I disagree with both the Herald and the Commander. I believe we should take more templars. The mages are vulnerable. We must realize this and take the necessary precautions."
Beatrix turned slowly to face Vivienne. She held her gaze for a few moments, clenching and unclenching her fists a couple of times before she could control herself enough to speak. When she finally did, her voice was calm, although strained.
"Then it's fortunate that there will only be two templars with us. Because I would never dream of leaving the rest of the rebel mages here without proper supervision." The last two words she spoke sounded exactly like Vivienne – same tone, same inflection, same accent.
Varric's laugh turned into a cough, Dorian cleared his throat after giving a bark of a laugh, and the rest of her companions shifted on their feet, but Sera outdid them all. She giggled outright, the sound of her laughter filling the room. Vivienne, however, did not move a muscle, and kept her cold eyes on Beatrix, who shrugged nonchalantly at the mage, then swept her angry eyes around the room.
Sera stopped laughing.
"Is there anything else?" she asked, her voice dangerously sweet.
Nobody said another word.
"Good. We meet here in the afternoon in five hours."
They murmured their agreement and started to file out of the room. Beatrix waited for the room to clear, smiling at Leliana and Josephine as they left. She suddenly realized Cullen hadn't left the room, and felt her thumping heart would surely burst wide open.
She could hear him. He stepped around the table slowly and approached her, stopping when he was directly behind her. His heat enveloped her and she slowly turned and looked up to fix her eyes on his – trying to ignore the heat coursing through her body, and failing.
They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity to Beatrix, the pounding in her heart now reaching her ears, her breath coming in faster, the desire slowly filling her, shooting down to her very core. Her knees suddenly felt weak, and she was sure that she would fall to her knees if he kept on looking at her like that. With such adoration. With such burning desire. With such warmth and –.
"Beatrix," he rasped. His voice thrilling her beyond reason. "Please forgive me for hurting you so much. I – I am so sorry, you will never –" but Cullen never got a chance to continue talking. She threw herself at him, her arms pulling him close as she stood on the tips of her toes, nestling her lips on the crook of his neck, smelling him – tasting him when she left a kiss there. Her hands lost themselves in his golden hair and his arms went around her immediately. They felt so firm and warm, protecting and safe, and he drew in a deep ragged breath as he clung tightly to her. She struggled to meld herself into him, pushing on the tips of her toes to reach his ear.
"There is nothing to forgive, my Commander, nothing at all…"
She felt his breath catch and heave in air with difficulty at her words, felt his heart thumping as he gave her a gentle squeeze – felt his very soul.
"Thank the Maker for you," he whispered breathlessly, as he held her close.
Vivienne cleared her throat behind them and they flew apart, startled by the interruption.
"I am sorry to interrupt, darlings, but I have good reason to do so," she said in her musical voice, smiling at them both – a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "There is a problem with the rebel mages and we need you in the training grounds immediately."
"Problem?" Beatrix repeated dumbly.
"Yes," Vivienne replied. "They all want to go with you to seal the Breach and are not listening to Solas, Dorian or myself. Perhaps it would be better if you talk to them, my dear?
Beatrix nodded once. "Thank you Lady Vivienne."
"A pleasure, my dear," Vivienne replied as Beatrix walked out of the room, followed closely by Cullen.
Vivienne stayed behind for a few moments looking at them both wistfully – the memories of her youth assaulting her mind briefly: a ball at the Palace, gilded columns and lions, a dashing rogue. A deep sigh escaped her lips as she pulled herself together, walking out of the room in their wake.
…
After getting the problem with the rebel mages sorted out, Beatrix walked slowly towards the tavern, trying to keep her mind steady. She knew very well that she could die when she closed the Breach and this was making her extremely nervous. Cullen caught up to her, his hand gently touching her elbow.
"Are you going to be alright?"
His gentle voice was endearing, making her smile sadly. She didn't trust her voice at the moment, so she merely nodded.
"I'll be heading out to see to my soldiers. If you need anything, anything at all…"
"Thank you." Beatrix was surprised by the calmness in her voice. However, the calmness sounded stilted and extremely cold to her ears.
She didn't mean to sound so curt, but the fear she was feeling made her seem she was, when this was very far from the truth. Cullen seemed to understand, and nodded his head briefly with a smile, giving her elbow a gentle squeeze before he turned and left.
Beatrix shivered to herself when he was gone. That scar and smile! Why was he so fucking adorable?
Well, one thing was certain: If she got out of this alive, she would throw herself into his arms and kiss him senseless. She blushed furiously at the image, stopping right at the tavern door.
Well, maybe she wouldn't kiss him senseless.
With a chuckle and a smile on her face, she turned and pushed the door to the tavern open.
Sera stopped her with a grin. "Gave miss magiepants a whatfor, eh?"
Beatrix grinned back, but did not reply to this.
"Betcha demons and whateva his name tremble when you step closer," she nodded, "it's all good, innit?"
"All good," she agreed, turning to Flissa. "Bowl of stew, Flissa?"
Saying goodbye to Sera and Flissa, she left the tavern with the bowl in her hands, grateful for the warmth seeping through her gloves. She didn't want to eat at the tavern because she was extremely nervous, and this was making her feel queasy. Besides, she had a chamber pot in her room in case things got ugly.
Her eyes suddenly fixed themselves on the Breach, swirling menacingly above her and she frowned darkly. She could tell right away she should never have gotten the stew.
It was going to be a long afternoon.
She only hoped the evening would be long as well – and not cut short by disaster.
She liked being alive.
…
Cullen could see Beatrix riding ahead of the procession to the Temple when he and his men reached a small hill that granted them a complete view of the path ahead. She was flanked by both Cassandra and Solas. Behind them rode her companions, watchful and alert, the sound their horses' hooves made on the path filling him with hope. The dozen mages who would be helping her rode behind her companions, some even riding alongside them. One of the mages turned around to look at the soldiers, his eyes shining with determination and resolve.
Cullen continued riding silently with his soldiers and the two templars he had selected, not looking back once. But as they reached the long-gone gates to the temple itself, his heart started thumping loudly, pumping fear through his veins.
Fear for her.
Deeply religious, he turned to the Maker for help.
You who stand before the gates, you who have followed me into the heart of evil,
The fear of death is in your eyes; its hand is upon your throat.
Raise your voices to the Heavens! Remember: Not alone do we stand on the field of battle.
The Maker is with us!
As soon as they passed the two pillars that had once formed the gates to the temple proper, Beatrix dismounted and everyone else did the same. Leliana's scouts briefly saw to the horses as planned.
It was deadly silent, and Cullen's eyes fixed themselves on the Breach above them, casting its sickly green glow on everyone below. His eyes flicked down again and at that very moment, the crowd of people parted and he saw Beatrix looking at him directly.
She looked terrified.
He stared at her with so much faith and hope, that her eyes gradually changed – determination and resolve finally shining through. Flashing her a smile, she smiled right back at him and turned to her companions, walking slowly but surely along the balcony that spanned the perimeter of the blasted courtyard directly under the Breach.
She led them almost with confidence, smiling as she turned the first corner to head towards the stairs. Cullen rapidly placed himself on the balcony directly overlooking the courtyard, not far from the exact point where the Breach swirled above. When Beatrix appeared in his line of vision as she stepped down the stairs, he could see her very clearly.
He ordered the mages to quickly stand beside him in two lines, facing the courtyard and they immediately complied.
Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter.
Beatrix nodded at Cassandra and Solas, and Solas approached the mages. Cullen swallowed, shutting his eyes briefly, still praying.
Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just.
He barely heard Solas' instructions to the mages, his eyes once again rooted on Beatrix who was now standing under the Breach, the mark on her left hand cackling and popping – growing in intensity.
Blessed are the righteous, the light in the shadow…In their blood the Maker's will is written.
He saw Beatrix grit her teeth as she raised her left hand. Before his eyes it erupted into a bright beam of green light that connected to the very core of the Breach above them. She started to advance slowly, pushing with all her might, her face masked in pain.
Maker! Please!
At that moment, as if on cue, the first line of mages uttered a cry in unison and thumped the ground hard with their staves, falling to their knees. Cullen felt their strong will emanating from them and rushing forward towards Beatrix – the second line of mages doing the same not a moment after.
His eyes quickly flicked to Beatrix who had raised her hand upwards, the beam of green light suddenly growing with the intensity of the sun, nearly blinding him.
And in that baleful eye I saw the Lady of Sorrow, armored in Light,
Holding in her left hand the scepter of Redemption…
Then suddenly the light DID blind him and everyone else, and he shut his eyes before everything exploded. He opened his eyes in terror, discovering that he was clutching the railing in front of him and the only one standing because of this – the Breach had effectively exploded upon closing, stunning everyone around.
He saw Beatrix lying on the ground and he ran, jumping over the unconscious mages, rushing around people groaning and reached the stairs in but a few moments – taking them two at a time to leap forward, pushing through her companions who were standing up with dazed expressions on their faces.
He was so fast, he reached her before Cassandra, who had been behind her.
She opened her eyes and saw him, her eyes suddenly twinkling like the stars in the heavens. He helped her up gently and Cassandra reached them, a smile on her face as well. Three words came from the Seeker as she embraced the Herald briefly.
"You did it!"
The whole courtyard erupted in cheers and applause, but Cullen did not care – he hardly heard them.
She was alive, and that was all that mattered.
…
Beatrix looked down at one of the courtyards where everyone was celebrating. The dancing, laughter and drinking were making her smile. Here, there were NO templars or mages, just people, which was the way it should have been always.
Both Cassandra and Varric were standing next to her, they were commenting how wonderful it was to see how well everyone got along, when suddenly the bells started ringing. Beatrix quickly ran down the steps towards Cullen, who was rallying his soldiers to make ready for battle.
"What's happened?" Beatrix asked as she went up to him.
"There's an army coming right down the mountain. We're under siege," Cullen replied, a worried expression on his face. "And there is no banner, so we don't even know who they are."
They were standing very close to the gates, which started rattling as if someone was trying to get inside.
"I can't come in unless you open!" cried a voice through the large and sturdy wooden doors.
Beatrix made a quick decision to go open the doors herself, but two of their soldiers did that for her. As soon as they opened, she skid to a stop. A man in full armor collapsed in front of her, revealing a young man with a ridiculously large hat, who was holding a pair of daggers dripping with blood, which he rapidly cleaned and sheathed. His unkempt hair fell over his pale blue eyes, which were regarding her with a fearful expression.
"What the fuck is going on here?" Beatrix demanded, causing the boy to flinch involuntarily.
"I'm Cole, I came to warn you. The templars come to kill you."
"Templars?" Cullen rasped. "What is the meaning of this? Explain yourself!"
"I ran ahead of them. The Elder One leads them. There!" the boy pointed at a hill close by where Beatrix saw this…creature…standing tall. It was a thing out of a nightmare, skeletal in appearance, red lyrium growing out of its face and neck – and definitely a darkspawn. A man in full armor joined him and Cullen let out a gasp.
"I know that man in templar armor!"
They looked back at the place where the boy had been standing, and saw nothing. Then, out of the darkness, a limping man appeared, dressed in templar armor and holding his side.
Beatrix eyes widened and Cullen turned to look at her when she gasped out a name.
"Andras!"
Running forward she flung herself into his arms, and he gave a cry of pain. "Beatrix! I need an elfroot potion, please! I escaped them to warn you, but stragglers beat me up and left me for dead…"
Hurriedly, Beatrix pulled out a potion from her satchel and Andras drank it greedily, giving a sigh of relief.
The templars were fast approaching now and Beatrix turned to Cullen, her voice quavering with fear and desperation as she spoke.
"Cullen, give me a plan! Anything!"
"We must control the battle, if we are to win!" Cullen responded, then unsheathed his sword and turned to his soldiers and the mages who had gathered around, rallying them.
"Mages, this will not be easy! That is Samson up there! Inquisition, with the Herald! For your lives! For all of us!"
…
In the madness that followed, Andras stuck to his sister, defending her as much as he could. The elfroot potion had worked wonders and he seemed eager to fight and kill as many templars as he could.
Cullen fought tirelessly, keeping an eye on Beatrix, for she frequently appeared and reappeared on the field, flitting among their enemies like a shadow. All around her, her companions fought with grim determination. Cullen managed to get closer to Beatrix, letting her know that it looked like one of the trebuchets wasn't firing.
"We'll take care of that, Cullen!" Beatrix panted as she continued fighting, clearing a path to the trebuchets.
"Coming with you, sister!" Andras growled from somewhere on her left. Four of her companions followed her to the trebuchets as well.
When they arrived, the place was teeming with Red Templars.
The fight was brutal. Beatrix was relieved to find a supply cache nearby, probably left there by the soldiers who had been killed when the Red Templars arrived. She quickly gathered as many potions as she could, and continued fighting.
Varric was having a field day. His bolts had killed a great many and he was grinning about it while keeping count. Cassandra was a force of nature, rushing into many of the templars with her shield and throwing them off balance. Dorian was throwing electrical bolts here and there, always hitting his targets. Many of the templars were electrocuted on the spot. He was having a great deal of fun and Beatrix smiled at what he said every time he killed another templar. Bull was frightening, his huge hammer not only killing his targets, but stunning those nearby as well. Soon, Beatrix took her position at the trebuchet and began to turn the wheel to aim it, the rest watching her back.
"I'm so glad you're here Andras!" She gasped a little as she spoke, willing herself to move faster with the wheel.
"As am I, sister. As am I," Andras answered with a smile, keeping a defensive position in case more Red Templars showed up. "You must have thought I died in the explosion."
"Never!" Beatrix replied, turning the wheel for the last time. The trebuchet was finally ready to go and Beatrix cut through the massive rope with one of her sharp daggers. The great stone flew through the air, landing on a mountain across from the village and producing an avalanche.
An avalanche that caught a great many Red Templars in its wake, burying them in the snow and killing them instantly.
Everyone cheered, but their celebration was short lived. A huge dragon suddenly appeared, flying directly at them. It opened its great maw and a deadly jet of something red shot out, completely destroying the trebuchet.
They ran for their lives and arrived at the gates to the village, where Cullen was shouting at everyone to get inside.
It made no difference, though, because they were far from safe. As Beatrix ran about helping villagers and survivors escape to the Chantry, the Red Templars swarmed them, climbing over the wooden walls with ease.
Fighting for their lives, they finally rescued everyone they could and went into the Chantry, where Cole could be seen helping Roderick to sit.
"This is madness," Cullen commented breathing heavily. "We can't fight a dragon! Everything in Haven is made of wood, except for this building!"
"I've seen an archdemon before and it looked like that," Cole said as he comforted the Chancellor, helping him swallow an elfroot potion. "The Elder One wants you, but he doesn't care about the village. He will kill everyone here and destroy you, too."
"The only option here is to calibrate and aim the remaining trebuchet on the mountain right next to Haven," Cullen said.
"But we'd bury Haven!" Beatrix protested. "We can't do that!"
Cullen grabbed her arm, his countenance a mask of determination, his eyes sad. "We're dying, but we can choose how."
Cole suddenly cried "Yes, that!" and turned to them both, smiling. "Roderick knows a way out, he can help!"
Roderick slowly explained that there was a tunnel leading out of the Chantry. He ended up telling Beatrix that he believed she was more than he thought she was and that he would pray for her.
"Lead the people out of Haven through the tunnel, Cullen," Beatrix said, her voice calm and certain. Turning to her companions she said, "I will launch the trebuchet, and NOT ONE OF YOU will come with me! You have to stay here and help Cullen with the people!"
Her companions immediately started to protest, but she held up a hand. "I fucking mean it! I'll be in stealth so you won't know where I am, anyway. I can reach the trebuchet easily, without anyone seeing me. Sneaking is my specialty. I'll be fine."
"We can let you know when we are safely away from Haven by firing a burning arrow up at the sky," Cullen replied as he ordered six of his soldiers to accompany her.
"I'll set the trebuchet off with their help, and you lead the people out. I'll watch for your arrow before I fire at the mountain. That's the plan and we're sticking to it."
"But, what of your escape?" Cullen's voice wavered slightly.
She turned to him with a look that made his eyes widen.
"No!" Cullen shouted, but it was Andras who rushed to her, standing directly in front of her.
"Over my dead body, sister!" he growled.
"Fuck this! As the eldest, I know what I'm doing and you should stand down, brother! I won't hesitate to knock you unconscious if you dare try to follow me!" Beatrix shouted, her eyes two smoldering cores.
Andras crossed his arms, shaking his head. "I'm coming with you."
Cullen looked from one to the other. It was clear that the stubborn streak Beatrix had was a trait of the Trevelyans.
"I'm leaving now, and don't you dare come after me, Andras Trevelyan! Cullen, make sure you hold him tightly! Better yet…" she quickly brought the pommels of her twin daggers on her brother's head as he turned to look at Cullen.
Andras slid to the floor, unconscious.
Cullen caught her immediately afterwards, embracing her with such fear and desperation that she gasped for air. He murmured an apology as he let her go, holding her at arms' length.
"Promise me," he said, swallowing with difficulty. "Promise me that you'll come back to us…to me…"
"I promise," Beatrix replied. Cullen lowered his head and kissed her forehead, his heart overwhelmed with desperation and fear for her.
"Get the people out of here, Cullen. Protect them. And take good care of my brother," Beatrix smiled up at him sweetly. She slowly backed out of his arms, still smiling at him. Reaching into her satchel, she brought out a fistful of black powder which she threw to the floor, disappearing into the dark smoke and shadows immediately afterwards.
…
Notes:
Verses from the Chant of Light that Cullen uses to pray: Apotheosis 1, Benedictions 4: 10 and 11, and Exaltations, 1 respectively.