I was beyond glad to see the Kheels leave yesterday, considering that a certain blond was glaring holes in my head the rest of the evening (that, and the fact that I ain't the most social person around town). Of course I didn't tell him why I reacted like I did to his name; hell, I'm not even sure why I didn't. But aside from the fact that Mihael is probably actually Mello and his glaring, the rest of the evening went okay. I stayed up till three in the morning playing games and letting my thoughts wander over Mello.
What? I'm not obsessed over that jerk, it's just so strange for something like that to happen, and I can't begin to comprehend it. Just a big coincidence I suppose.
Aside from that, this Monday has been normal, so far. I think Mello is going to a different school because he isn't here, and I am sorta glad. Yet I'm a teensy, weensy bit, kinda sad that he is not. That's a feeling I didn't really want to acknowledge, in case you couldn't figure that out.
I shut my locker and jogged to catch up with Beyond (The guy I choose to associate with in this hellhole) to go to our next class. Once I was beside him, I slowed to a walking pace.
"Hey, I told you too wait for me!" I complained.
"It's not my fault you are to slow," The black haired teen countered with a dismissive wave of his hand and..Was that an eye-roll? This bastard is too damn cocky!
I sighed instead of complaining, and opened our classroom door, where I sat at my usual desk beside Beyond. It is not like me and Beyond are really friends, more like school buddies. Since Beyond moved here five years ago, he stuck to me like putty and never left. Well, I don't really mind it. He can get pretty creepy and disturbing sometimes, but I trust him a good bit. Our friendship is the type where we tell each other our secrets and rest assured that the secret will never leak; which works out unsurprisingly well for me, being a person who doesn't have any friends really.
"Hey, Matt?" Beyond leaned over my desk with a purposeful look.
"Yeah?" I responded. looking at him with bland interest.
"Who's the new kid that moved onto your street?" He asked me and in response I just shrugged and drawled out; "Mello Kheel. Don't bother, he's an ass,"
Beyond visibly pouted and went back to his desk, disappointed that I answered him so flatly. Then again, what else could he possibly expect from me?
The class passed as usual for a Monday, the teacher blabbering on and handing us our assignments. I never really paid attention, never had to. Not to brag but, I ace my tests despite the fact that I'm just on my PSP during most class hours.
When the bell rang for lunch after English and Math, I grabbed my books and quickly shoved them into my locker once in the hallway, not caring if they got crumpled, and then joined Beyond in the cafeteria. I usually didn't eat anything for lunch and Beyond usually simply settled for a small jar of jam and toast, today was no different. So I immediately sat down across from Beyond at a vacant table with my PSP in hand.
After a few minutes of Beyond licking his jar of jam (told you he was a lil' bit super creepy) he spoke.
"So the kid's really an ass? Nothing interesting? Not even a small bit?"
"Well actually," I set down my PSP to look at the ravenette, in an uncommon show of attention. "You know Omegle, right?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Well I met someone there who called themselves Mello; a little before I met this Mello at supper," I explained.
"And you think it's the same Mello?" He questioned after a slight pause, seeming only moderately interested for a guy who was so intent on digging up some dirt on Mello.
"Well, yeah. I mean, they're both rude, and when I questioned Mello's age, he answered the same as the guy on Omegle. It doesn't sound like much, but I got the same vibe from them both, you know? It's just that it just seems like too much of a coincidence." I sighed.
Beyond giggled. "Can't you just hack the IP address to see if it really is the same guy?" He suggested.
"Yea, I was thinking of doing that" I told him dismissively, before I went back to my PSP, deciding that talking about Mello with Beyond really wasn't the best kind of entertainment.
"Heh, that's pretty weird if it is a coincidence. Anyway, you got lucky, that guy is hot!" He broke out in chuckles, much to my disdain.
"I am not interested in guys, Beyond," I drawled out in response.
Beyond then looked at me with wide eyes, "It doesn't matter the gender when one is that sexy, you should understand this, Mattie!"
"Don't call me Mattie." I sighed "And I don't care about your opinion, I'm not gay as far as I can tell," I mumbled, mashing buttons on my game piece.
Beyond huffed, "You're no fun," he complained, and slid out of his chair.
Then I realized what he said, and looked up from my game in slight confusion. "Beyond?
"Hmm?" He turned to look at me over his shoulder as he paused on his way to the exit.
"How do you know how he looks? Wait, How the hell do you know that he moved in next to me?" what is he, stalking me? Is this really Beyond even? But that thought was dismissed quickly as he started laughing uncontrollably, catching the attention of everyone in the room and earning a raised eyebrow from me. "You finally caught on?" He choked, clutching his stomach in attempt to stop his laughter.
"Yes, okay. So stop laughing now," I deadpanned, trying to seem indifferent to the amount of attention on us. Thanks douchebag, Just what I needed, more attention from people.
"Oh, heh! Well, you see I was on a walk and-"
"You know what? It's okay, never mind." I cut him off, not really wanting to bother about it at this point, and I (again) went back to my game.
Beyond just grinned, not caring that I had interrupted him in the least, threw a; "See'ya, Matt!" and walked away, in more of a skip then anything, tossing his now empty jar of jam in the trash as he did so.
I sighed and continued playing my game, letting my mind blank out anything that wasn't on the small screen.
Only when the bell rang did I get up and go to my next four classes, by which passed normally, with Beyond teasing me a bit and the teacher scolding me for playing games in class. Normal as usual; except now after what Beyond said, my mind couldn't get off of Mello. Now that I wasn't ridiculing how he looked like a girl, I almost found his androgynous face and figure attractive, not in the way I ever found any girl to be, that is for sure.
But I set those thoughts aside as I left school to walk home. I didn't play my PSP like I usually do and instead let my thoughts explore whatever topic came to mind, as I walked down a back alley headed to my home. Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, Mello came to mind, and I had to admit, I was a little confused.
I had never, ever thought of someone to be sexy, and these thoughts came so suddenly since I first thought about it. Mello, blond silky hair, smooth milky skin, dainty fingers, ice cold blue eyes, slim legs, and to go further he had a nice butt, that fit tightly in his leather pants, and the small part of his belly that showed, made me want to cover it in butterfly kisses...He wasn't just sexy, but actually gorgeous.
...Wait, what the hell?! Why am I randomly sexualizing the guy now? Dammit, Beyond! You'll pay for this! I was still cursing this tantalizing line of thought when I reached home.
I had never really thought of myself being gay, if anything I almost had problems with it. Like, borderline problems with it, I just didn't understand how it worked. But I didn't really ever like guys before, then again, I had never thought about my sexuality before. I just assumed I was straight.
I unlaced my converses and set them on the shoe rack before going into the kitchen, where Mom was doing the dishes.
"Hello, Matt!" She said contently, "How was school?"
"Adequate," I replied as I grabbed a bag of Salt n' Vinegar chips from the cupboard.
"Was Mello there?" She asked while I was about to leave to kitchen for my bedroom.
"No, why would he be?" I asked as I turned around to face her, a question mark forming in my mind.
"His parents said he was going to your school, but I guess he is still settling in," She said, as she worked at drying a plate.
What the heck? This coincidence thing is getting real old now.
"He probably just refused to go, he has that personality," I offered.
Mom sighed "You're probably right, I feel bad for his parents. He is a bit wild, maybe even a little worse than you." She added with a smirk.
I quite liked my mom, I definitely got her personality more so than Dad's; and even though I am rude to her sometimes, I don't really mean it and she knows that too. I'd say she understands me. I smiled, "I gotta go and study now, kay?" with that I turned on my heel and headed up the stairs to my bedroom, not waiting for a response.
Once I stepped inside my room, I threw my bag on the floor, no intention of studying whatsoever (obviously), and with my bag of chips sat down in front of my desk.
I knew the basics of hacking, only to really track addresses, cheat games, and retrieve passwords, but it is enough for me to be able to find if the Mello from Omegle is Mello from house no. 1820.
I pulled up the Google search and found Omegle, still on my ended chat with Mello. Luckily, I didn't delete it afterwards because in the back of my head I already had planned to trace it sometime. I started right away and opened up one of my most used programs and got to work. I had the program hooked to Omegle soon enough, and after a little tweaking had it set to ring out Mello's conversation with me.
Some more typing and being careful to set all of the codes just right, I had the program tracking Mello, now all I have to do is to wait, and make sure that no system found that I was hacking their site. It could take up to half an hour to finish the tracking process, so I sat back with my bag of chips and waited eagerly for it to finish. If I was better at this, I could have it in a few minutes only, but I am not so well versed in the art of hacking, so I just have to settle for this.
After a few minutes I pulled out my PS3 from my desk, preferring to use the newer gaming system at home simply out of habit, and started to play. There was no problem while the address was traced and soon my computer binged, telling me the job was done. Of course I didn't need to look at a map to know that the coordinates was smack dab beside me, I had memorized my own home coordinates easily long ago, and still do.
Wow, this is really some freaky coincidence. So weird.
So now what? Do I tell Mello?
I really don't know, but I imagine it would be a very awkward conversation. Also, there's the fact that the guy dislikes anything he sets his eyes on (and even the stuff he doesn't lay his eyes on!), except maybe his leather pants. And I had to admit, I kinda liked them too, they emphasize his booty- dammit! I shouldn't be thinking along those lines at all!
After a moment I decided to not tell Mello, not yet at least. Things will be calm as long as he doesn't know, and there is that little problem that I have found in my mind. That is something I really need to figure out, and soon. The worst part about it is that I have no one to talk to about it; well, there's Mom, but I don't that I would be able to get the words out.
With a sigh, I pushed backwards on my chair, sending me a few feet backwards as the wheels slid across the floor.
I went over my thoughts; when I first met Mello I'd almost laughed, he looked girly and definitely gay. Not to mention how pissed he looked, his eyes where a kind of steely blue that were so intense, adding to his attitude and aura. But I didn't care much, his glares didn't affect me the way I'm sure it would other kids my age. He didn't talk much that night, and I didn't care much about him, the sooner he was gone the better. Then he said his name was Mello and my curiosity was peaked a little. Then this afternoon Beyond mentioned how he was sexy and that's when I started with those thoughts, not even four hours ago.
I guess I was being ignorant and not paying much attention and then, when he was associated with something interesting, I finally started to take notice of him a little.
That is still no reason for me to find him attractive, I have never found anybody sexually attractive before. It is a strange feeling. When I was fifteen I kissed and girl, but I felt nothing, I wasn't turned on or anything of the sort. I could just assume that I am gay, but then I have never found any other guy attractive before either.
In fact I have never been very sexually active in the past, more focused on my games and my fledgling of hacking more than anything else. Now I feel just a little aroused at the thought of him. Enough though, that it confuses me.
"Jeez" I mumbled, fiddling with my shirt lazily.
I think that if I were to socialize with Mello again I would have a better idea about these feelings. But I really don't know, he clearly dislikes me, and would never want to hang out as far as I can tell.
Hell, he dislikes everyone. Maybe even himself, who knows?
I wanted to distract myself from these thoughts, but found no motivation to play games this time (shocker, that!) and after a little thought, I decided to go downstairs again.
Mom was still in the kitchen, she appeared to be starting supper now and she noticed me in the doorway pretty quickly, looking over at me with a mildly curious expression.
"Hey Matt, what's wrong?" She asked after a minute, and I straightened up, realizing I was looking rather distant.
"Uh, I don't know," I voiced part of my feelings on automatic.
"Do you want to tell me? Or is it you are just in a bad mood?" She questioned, partially teasing while peeling a potato.
I sighed, and after a short pause I moved to sit down at the kitchen table in a slouch.
"I'm not sure..." I trailed off, not sure what to say to her, I felt the need to speak to her about my feelings, like I did when I was younger. But at the same time I didn't want too, I am just scared I guess. Of her reaction, what if I tell her I might be gay, and she is disappointed in me? I just am not sure.
She pulled a chair out and sat down with some more potatoes that she was peeling in a bowl.
"You can tell me, Mail, you're my son, don't ever think that for a minute I wouldn't love you just as much, no matter what," She reassured, using my real name like she seems to do when she is serious. It's new, just like her calling me Matt, but more effective I had to admit.
"I think...I might be gay." I spoke the last bit hurriedly and worriedly, and watched her expression change for a moment before going back to her usual kind expression.
"That's fine sweetheart, it could be just a phase you know,"
I shook my head nervously, "I'm just confused about it, I have never found anyone attractive before..." I trailed off nervously, having almost said too much.
Understanding overtook over her features, and immediately I thought I shouldn't have talked to her about it, it is not just motherly intuition with her, because she is smart, really smart.
"It's Mihael, isn't it?" She questioned.
"Yes." I responded sheepishly, regretting coming down here.
"Well, I am sure whatever feeling you have for him will become known eventually, and I am fine with whatever your decision is, okay?" She asked me, concern edging her voice.
"Uh, yeah, thanks Mom. For, uh, all this. That was, um, really...helpful, I guess." I stood awkwardly from my seat, "I think I'm gonna go for a walk, is that okay?" I don't even know why I asked for her permission.
"Of course! Supper will be ready within an hour so be back before then!" She informed me, teasingly, and in response I gave her a mock salute and backed out of the room. I heard her chuckle as I entered the boot room. Despite all that pleasantry I know she'd been watching me keenly, to gauge my emotions or something, I guess.
I still felt a little awkward as I put on my converse and headed out the door. Promptly taking a left down the street, I avoided Mello's house and let out a long breath.
Mom would accept it if I was gay, but Dad was a different story. But even so, I did feel a little more comfortable now. Telling Mom did help, but I also felt it was a breach of my emotions, and it didn't put me at ease for the rest of my feelings either, it was beginning to drive me crazy.
"Matt!" A familiar voice startled me, and I turned around to see Mello's mother running towards me. She stopped a few feet before me, catching her breath and looking a little hassled from running to catch up to me.
"Ms. Kheel?" I questioned, a little confused towards her sudden appearance.
She looked up at me, hands resting on her knees and still breathing raggedly "M-Mello..."
She looked worried, and my stomach sank for a reason I didn't want to ponder at the moment. "What's wrong, Angela?"
"Have you seen him?" She panted.
"No, what happened?" I questioned, still giving her a confused look.
She shook her head, straightening out after a few seconds, "He has been gone since last night, he got mad at us after dinner and left. We were hoping he spent the night with you but he still isn't back, and we couldn't just sit around and wait for him to come back," She spoke a little calmer now, but still hurriedly.
"Uh, I haven't seen him, but I will keep an eye out. Have you contacted the police?" I added, now a little more concerned. Him being out all night in LA is not good, who knows what could happen, or has happened.
"We did, but they will only look for him if he is missing for over 48 hours!" She said, frustratedly.
I felt angry at that, "Okay, um, my mother is at home, maybe you two can drive around and look?" I asked.
"Yes, that'd be a great help," She wiped at her eyes briefly and discreetly, "Thank you, Matt."
I only nodded, waiting if she had anything else to say. Apparently, she did.
She paused uncertainly for a moment and then said, "If you find him, do call us," She then gave me a jerky nod, and it was obvious she changed her mind about what she wanted to say, midsentence. She turned away walking to my own house with a weak wave, clearly stressed. But I did notice how she acted, it seems like he has done this before.
With a nod to her back I turned around and continued walking down the street. I would keep an eye out, maybe walk into the more likely places he would be in, but as much as I wanted I couldn't do anything more.
This is ridiculous, I have only known the kid for a day and I am already sent to worrying about him. Usually I wouldn't care, and that is what concerned me now. If Beyond went missing, I probably wouldn't bother looking for him. Not because I didn't care, but I didn't care enough. I would worry, but let the police take care of it, not to mention I know better than anybody Beyond can take care of himself.
But with Mello I couldn't help not only worry, but look for him as well.
Maybe Mello is different; maybe he means something to me, even though I barely know him. I think he means something to me that I can't explain quite yet.
I pushed those thoughts back and focused on my path, by now I had gone down two streets, if I took a left I would end up at the market. If I took a right there would only be more housing residencies. Without much thought I took the left towards the market.
Five minutes of walking and I was at the building. The market was where many of the people of this area shopped, instead of having to drive half an hour to get to any of the other stores in main LA. It was like a series of small and larger shops connected, some indoor shops, some outdoor, a large parking lot usually always filled to the brim with cars -today being no exception- and the odd beggar asking for coins in the rich neighborhood for a change of pace.
I walked around the area for a little while, glancing at the wares in the shops, even though I had no money. I really doubted I would find Mello here, but there isn't much else I can do. I don't have a car so I can't go that much farther out of the area, and unless he is holed up in some back street he won't be in the residential areas. That leaves the market for me to search for my -not really friend, acquaintance I guess, acquaintance that I am attracted to. Or maybe I'm not, I don't know, and don't want to think of this that much right now. Besides, I did want to go a walk to clear my head about all the confusing emotions that are wreaking havoc in there.
I figure that Mom won't be expecting me back for awhile after Angela tells her about Mihael/Mello, and so I didn't worry about the time as I walked around. I passed a chocolate shop sometime later and let my attention settle there for a moment, it looked like they got shoplifted. Two cops were speaking with a store worker who looked angry, whilst they proceeded with taking notes. I turned away from the shop disdainfully, uninterested at the picture.
If I want a slight chance, or hope of finding Mello then I shouldn't be staring at sweet shop thefts.
Really I did hope to find him. I wouldn't want something to happen to him, at least not before I found my feelings out (and even then I still wouldn't). Putting myself out on a limb for a stranger is quite absurd, but for Mello it almost seems like something normal I would do.
Two hours passed before I knew it, and I decided to head home. That sick feeling I had in my gut about the whole Mello situation was uncomfortably familiar now. Mom noticed me from the kitchen and gestured for me to come inside, so I kicked off my shoes and entered the kitchen. Angela and Eric were sitting at the table, looking very concerned, along with Mom and Dad.
"I'm sorry I'm late," I apologized.
Mom shook her head, while Angela said, "It's okay, we're just glad that you all have agreed to help us."
Eric nodded in agreement.
"Still nothing on the situation?" I questioned no one in particular.
Angela shook her head lightly while everyone else just looked more concerned. Mom spoke up, "There is some leftovers in the fridge, Help yourself if you're hungry."
"Okay," I responded and promptly retrieved a plate, then proceeded to the fridge and took some baked potatoes, along with some salad, before sitting down with everyone else at the table. The silent mood in the kitchen made me feel worse than before and I only ate half of my plate of food before I felt queasy from eating. It felt weird to get creeped out by the silence when all I usually wanted was to get everybody to leave me alone, so I could be by myself and enjoy the calm and peace that would afford me.
Eric spoke up eventually, "I managed to convince some of my task force to conduct a search, but they found nothing,"
'So he is a police officer,' I thought with slight pride in my deductive skills, but simply nodded as I got up and tossed the rest of my food in the garbage.
From what I could gather, Mello has done this before, but his parents are still worried, most likely because of this being LA, and not wherever they came from beforehand. Also, Mello seems to have gotten used to hiding from the police, making him hard to find unless he wants to be found. But he doesn't know this area well, so that could turn into an advantage for his family. Though somehow I doubt that would stop him from hiding all that much.
Mom didn't protest when I wasted all that food, and much to my surprise it seemed even Dad was worried about Mello.
"Can I go up to my room?" I asked, breaking the concentrated silence.
Mom looked at the clock which read 7:45 and seemed surprised, looking back at me she said "Yes go ahead, I didn't realize it was getting so late," She murmured and with a nod I turned to leave. As I did so, I saw the Kheels agreeing with it being late and offering to help with dishes before they left, by which Mom declined nicely.
I was glad to get out of the kitchen and into my own room, I felt like I could finally breathe without choking on the tension in the air. Everyone seemed so worried, not that I myself am not, and they did have reason and everything, but I didn't handle being in there any longer. Get what I mean?
I sat down at my computer, thinking for a moment that I could trace his phone. But then I figured that the police would have already tried that (his father would've, anyway) and instead resigned myself to play Tetris on my computer. After a few minutes I discovered that I couldn't focus on anything properly, thanks to Mello. I didn't even know what to think, it's still the same thing, I barely know him, yet I am so worried, more than I have ever been and it is driving me insane. I had never felt like this before, never, and I couldn't comprehend it. How one stranger could wield so much power over me.
I just wished I could know if Mello is okay.
With another resigned sigh I plugged in my headphones to my laptop and flopped down onto my bed. I closed my eyes and tried to become absorbed into the music, but I only managed to feel a new level of worry, one that somehow blended with anger.
Without opening my eyes I grabbed the earphones and threw them across the room, letting my other hand fall to my face.
Mello came here and not even a day has passed, and I'm absolute mess.
'What is he doing to me?' I wondered inwardly.
Author's Note: Review, you know you want to.