"It's my mother," I said weakly, although I didn't actually care how I sounded at this point. Mello shot me a confused look, and I just shook my head slowly in response. It felt like time just slowed down, and I spent every agonizing second trying to fully grasp exactly what the voice in the phone told me. Mom had an accident. Mom had a...

"What do you mean, your Mother?" He questioned, and I wasn't sure if I was glad or angry that he had broken my train of thought.

"The hospital called. Said she...that she uh...had an a-accident." It was a struggle to verbalize those two seemingly simple sentences. Thankfully, Mello just stayed quiet with an understanding expression. Mechanically, I turned away from him and dialed Dad's workplace number.

"This is Thomas Jeevas of Tokata Corp, how may I help you?" Dad sounded tired from work, and I almost considered hanging up just to save him the worry. But even in that nearly-a-zombie state I knew that would have been a stupid thing to do, so I tried to quickly explain what happened in the gentlest possible way. I don't think I did a great job of it though.

"Dad...the hospital just called, Mom had an accident and they said we need to come there as soon as -as possible." I said this in a rush, so I didn't break down over the phone and leave Dad trying to figure out what I was blubbering; and somehow ended up sounding like an automaton.

"Oh my god! What the...okay, Mail, I will be right there. Don't worry, I'm sure she's fine," He spoke in a rushed manner and hung up abruptly. I felt terribly restless (underneath the numbness-of-the-dead feeling). What was I doing at home instead of racing over to the hospital? I could've called Dad on the way or something.

Oh yeah, I'm an emotional wreck and I'd probably have gotten into an accident too if I didn't try to collect myself at least a bit. Good call, me.

But, wait. Something had to have happened for her to have been affected so badly. Sure, last night she was tired but even if she was stressed, she has never ended up in the hospital for it. The doctors said it didn't need to be removed and that it wasn't growing, but...is it possible that they...missed something? Oh god...

"Matt!" Mello's voice snapped me from my thoughts that were slowly spiralling into paranoia.

"You're, um..." He trailed off and instead gestured to the desk that I was gripping harshly. My knuckles were white from the force I was exerting.

..Oh, I had been doing that?

I unclenched my fists, and flexed my fingers. They felt cramped.

"He's going to be here soon," I mumbled, only to earn a questioning look from Mello and realized he still didn't know what was going on.

"My Mother collapsed while she was in the market today, they have her in emergency care right now-" my voice broke against my will and I shut my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to regain my composure. "You'll have to stay here, my Dad should be here in just a few minutes." I stated.

Mello looked at me unsurely "Alright, are you going to be okay?" He asked me, but this time his voice was soft. I couldn't help but think it was odd for his voice to hold that tone, but I found it extremely reassuring.

"I'm fine," I told him, and offered him a watery smile. It was the best I could do at that moment.

His lips formed a tense line, making it clear that he didn't believe me. "Okay, I will stay in your room until you get back then,"

"Yeah, it's best you go now,"

He let a out a sigh and turned to exit the room. He stopped and looked like he was going to say something for a second, but thought differently of it and continued out of the room. Once he was out of sight, I let out a breath I didn't even know I had been holding, and trudged into the boot room to find my shoes. I slipped on my Converses and sat on the bench beside the door to wait for Dad, who would probably be here in no more than ten minutes.

The short wait made me sick. I felt like I was going to vomit the whole time and there wasn't much I could do about it except worry, but then worrying wasn't going to help anyone. But, what if the doctors had missed something, or if my Mother had hidden something from us so that we didn't worry...she wouldn't have, would she? That would be stupid. She is not the type to do that anyway. She would definitely have told us. Right? Right?

My thoughts were interrupted by the door slamming open and Dad stepping inside. He immediately saw me and gestured for me to follow him. I jumped up from my seat and followed him out the door; and once we sat in the vehicle, I buckled in and we pulled out of the driveway.

"What hospital did they say she is in?" He asked me, his voice laced with worry.

"Spring Bank," I responded shortly.

He nodded and sped down the street towards the hospital. The whole drive neither of us spoke, only a few worried glances shared here and there. Neither of us had anything to say, further discussion would be made afterwards maybe, but otherwise it was not needed.

When we pulled up to the hospital we both sprang out of the car and hurried into the building and straight to the reception desk, where Dad enquired about Mom.

"I'm Thomas Jeevas, we were told my wife had an accident and to come here..."

I zoned out of the conversation and tried to distract myself with the bland hospital walls and the stereotypical health awareness posters on them (that really didn't help in the slightest. Hospitals really need to learn that blank white walls and posters filled with pictures of sick people didn't make a comforting sight) while I waited for them to sign us in. I just wanted to know what happened and to see her.

"...is Marien Jeevas?" The receptionist asked, and that caught my attention.

"Yes," My Father affirmed.

"Okay, room 114, you can wait outside the door and the doctor will get to you once he is done inside"

That really didn't sound reassuring at all.

"Okay. Thank you" Dad said in a rush, and then we hurried down the hallway to find the room.

We found the door quickly enough and waited impatiently outside of it. Thankfully, it was only a few stressful minutes before the door clicked open and an elderly man in a white lab coat holding a clipboard slipped out. He quickly caught sight of us and held out the hand that wasn't holding the clipboard, to shake my Father's.

"Mr Jeevas?" He questioned.

My Dad nodded affirmatively and shook the offered hand.

"You can call me Dr. Froch. Okay, your wife is currently asleep but you can see her in a few minutes once you answer some questions and I tell you about her condition; is that alright with you?" He asked, getting straight to the point. I don't think he even noticed my existence, but I didn't really care about that. I just wanted to hear what condition Mom was in right now.

"Yes, whatever you need," Dad responded.

I couldn't help but tense up a little as the doc started speaking.

"Alright. First off, do you know if she had been sick lately, any diet changes, or missed her prescription at all?" He asked.

"No I don't believe so,"

"Okay, has there been anything stressful going on around your family?"

"No more than usual,"

The doctor raised an eyebrow but continued, "Okay, your wife was at the local market when she began vomiting and then passed out shortly after, someone called the ambulance and we brought her here, after she arrived here she began to have a seizure." He explained, before pausing to let us process this. Dad looked about as sick at the short explanation of how she got here as I felt, but told the doctor to go on anyway.

"Since you said nothing out of the ordinary had happened at home, I believe we missed something in her previous scans seeing as this happened so abruptly; and I deeply apologize for this. We need to do some more scans but that will have to wait until she is more stable, her situation is currently very fragile and for her own comfort we don't want too many things happening around her. Do you have any questions? Or would you like to see her now?" He asked softly.

"N-no, please let us see her."

I just stood there like a dumb statue, each and every word of the doctor's diagnostic report horrifying and irritating me more and more. They missed something? How incompetent do you have to be to get through medical school?

"Okay," The doctor- Froch, nodded and walked back over to the door, before he turned back and saw me. "You're Mail Jeevas, I presume?"

"Yes." I told him, knocking myself out of my reverie.

"Right, now, like I said, she is asleep; don't make any sudden movements or loud sounds, you can sit beside her for a little while if you like. You have fifteen minutes, I will come and get you when your time is up," He informed us and proceeded to open up the door, gesturing for us to go inside.

I followed my dad inside, apprehension settling in my stomach like a rock. I had no idea what to expect or if I could even handle seeing her hooked up to machines the way I imagined she would be. But I would soon find out as I enter the room and the door closed behind me, wouldn't I?

My eyes slowly adjusted to the different lighting and I felt my throat constrict at the sight of her on the bed, expectedly. I was right about possibly not being able to handle it, seeing a sick person in a game or movie is one thing, but seeing a family member like that is another.

Her skin was pale, slate white as if she was dead and her cheeks were sunken in, only adding to the sickly look. Her brown hair looked thinner than normal and slightly matted up as it was splayed out on the bed. There were several tubes connected to her arms working to keep her feeling as little pain as possible with whatever drugs they used, and overall she looked completely spent and trapped. Like even if she wanted, she wouldn't be able to even move slightly.

I felt my Father's hand on my shoulder and when I turned to look at him I knew he felt the same as me, his face displaying all of his terror. He gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder and went to sit on a chair beside her bed, I followed suit and sat down beside him.

I almost fell into my chair as my knees gave out. I knew you are supposed to be here to comfort your family member, but I couldn't look back up without getting the urge to vomit. This situation was somehow all too familiar and I knew that once I got home, I was going to break down into an ugly, snivelling, crying mess; even with Mello there, and even with how much I didn't want to do that. But I tried to forget about that and instead focus on what was going on around me.

My Father was holding her hand, gently muttering something unintelligible under his breath with his head bowed. Her breathing was so faint, and I could only tell she was breathing in the first place because of the slight rise and fall of her chest, however strained. I didn't know what to think, what if she was getting worse? What if they find out how bad it is and then say that she's only got a few more months to live? I don't think I could handle that. I felt everything around me crumbling. If my Mother...d-died, I would have no one left. Sure I had my Father, but he was never much one for Father-son time unless it suited him. He would never go out of his way to console me, become my mentor or anything of the sort, like Mom was.

I wouldn't get over her death, but then, who could get over the death of a beloved parent? I still didn't know for sure what was happening though; she could've just had an episode, however spontaneous it was. Maybe that's all it is. And, she is probably fighting it and she is getting better; yeah that sounds more like Mom. I have to be optimistic. But...what if it is as bad as it could be? She is the person I am most at ease with, when I'm down in the dumps and she can cheer me up so easily. What would I do without her? But for some reason Mello keeps coming to my mind, the teen that I met in a chat room, who just moved next door to me a few days ago. The teen that -dare I say it - I might love? In some strange, almost twisted way. I know this is a terrible time to decide exactly what Mello was to me, in fact, even thinking about it seems to be terribly callous; but there it is.

The door slipped open without my Father noticing and the doctor stepped in, "Mr Jeevas, Mail, your time is up. Please come along,"

I nodded and stood up weakly, my Father seemed very reluctant to leave but followed me out into the hallway anyway. The doctor shut the door behind us and turned to my Father, "I suggest you go home, as visiting hours are almost over and it will not help her condition in any way if you insist on sleeping here."

I could tell Dr. Froch didn't want my Father (or me, for that matter), staying here all night like some visitors do. But I also knew my Father would want to stay.

"I will stay; Matt, you can drive home if you would like," He spoke, confirming my thoughts.

"Dad, are you sure? There really is no harm in coming home for the night," I tried.

"Yes, if something happens I want to be right here with her. You go on home, son. I'll keep you updated." He said firmly and handed me the truck's keys.

"You are welcome to stay here Mr Jeev- Mai- Matt, you can stay as well if you would like," The doctor offered, stuttering over my title. Huh, he actually remembered how I liked to be addressed? Maybe it's because he noticed my weird-ass name. The weird-ass name Dad and Mom chose...

I shook myself (mentally) out of the emotional funk I nearly got into. I had better keep my emotions in check 'till I reach home; then they can reign supreme for all I care...

Oh, yeah, the doc was asking me if I wanted to stay here. Right.

I shook my head and took the keys. "No, I will go home." I wouldn't be able to sleep, but at least I could have my games to distract myself. I should also be with Mello just to keep an eye on him, and maybe I just wanted some company right now.

Dr. Froch only nodded. "Very well."

"Dad, do you need me to bring some clothes for you in the morning?" I offered.

"I will call you if I need anything," He responded, not really meeting my eyes.

"Okay," I agreed, and headed to the checkout desk.

"See you tomorrow." Dad said. Empty.

The same woman from before was at the desk, which I guess is reasonable since we have probably been here no more than thirty minutes; and I proceeded to approach her. "Hi, I would like to check out," I said.

"Alright, just sign this," She smiled brightly at me and handed me a stereotypical clipboard. Damn these receptionists and their smiles that make you feel like they won a fucking cruise to Hawaii, while your whole world is imploding. Damn them all.

I quickly scribbled my name on the paper and handed it back to her, before turning to leave, but not before catching a glimpse of her cheerful goodbye wave.

"Have a goodnight, sweetie." She spoke from behind me. I dismissed her with a wave and headed out the doors, thinking about how her voice was so obviously flirtatious. Damned woman has no sense of timing.

I reached the car shortly and stepped inside, buckling myself in, about to just drive away, but then I sat there for a minute; recalling all of the things that my Mother has done recently for me. She had settled my mind, no matter how little about my feelings for Mello. She had me meet him, she got me into the school I am in right now, she defended my love of games against my Father...It was setting in, I really didn't want to lose her, if this was bad, if they missed something and she was going to die soon...

I sniffed and rubbed my eyes as one tear fell down, embarrassed even though no one was around to see me.

I couldn't cry, it could be nothing, she could have years left to her, I can't cry because it was going to be just fine. I started up the engine and drove the car out of the parking lot, down the street and towards home. The whole twenty minute drive was spent with me holding back my tears.

Once I pulled into the driveway, I righted myself and congratulated myself for successfully holding back the tears. I got out of the car and walked along the sidewalk until I reached the door to my house and entered, kicking off my shoes and not bothering to set them on the rack like I usually would, before I stepped into the kitchen. Mello wasn't in the overtly tidy space, or living room as I soon found out. Which was good in case my Father had come back with me, so I headed upstairs, to my room.

I didn't want to cry in front of Mello, now that I was here I just didn't want to show that weakness; unlike while I was on the verge of tears back in the hospital moments before. But I really did want to cry (and I didn't want to cry it out in the laundry room or or one of the closets or washrooms), I could feel the tears breaking through no matter how hard I tried to hold them back.

I opened the door to my bedroom to find Mello sitting on my bed, he had a book at his side that he was probably reading, but had put aside when he heard me come in. I gave him a forced smile, and entered without closing the door like I usually would.

"My Dad stayed at the hospital," I spoke softly.

Mello scooted over on the bed, politely leaving room for me to sit down on, if I wanted to. I accepted the gesture and flopped down, leaving a good three feet between us.

"What happened?" He asked, not particularly kindly, but not rudely either. I guess that was his usual 'kind' tone, I don't know.

"She collapsed in the market," I informed him vaguely. I could feel tears just about breaking out, and shook my head in an attempt at trying to clear them. If I were to tell him more, I'm certain that I would cry so I tried to just leave it at that, despite his prying gaze. My pride couldn't handle crying in front of him.

"Is it bad?" He decided to ask me, and I got the feeling he had an idea of what happened.

"Yeah." I spoke, curtly.

"Why did she collapse?" He pried, much to my chagrin. But I had no mood or energy to tell him off for being so inconsiderate.

I tried to tell him what happened (might as well get this over with) without crying, but it was difficult and I only ended up sputtering random words, so I instead told him the two words that would explain everything.

"Brain tumor,"

That broke me, saying those words aloud made it so much more real than it seemed before and I found my throat constricting, causing my body to shake with sobs, and my face to be soon buried in my hands.

"Matt, I..." He tried awkwardly, not sure what to do. He could've just left me alone; but nope, he wanted to hear it.

I could feel him shifting uncomfortably beside me, unsure. I felt ashamed that I was crying right in front of someone else, but when I tried to hold it back it just came back more than before, so I soon gave up on trying to stop it. I heard him trying to say something and then a curse, so I thought he was going to get up and leave, I wouldn't blame him. But when he stood up and instead of leaving he sat beside me and wrapped me up in his arms tightly -I was surprised to say the least. My tears almost stopped from how surprised I was.

I wanted to push away from his grasp at first, but another round of sobs stopped me and instead I found myself leaning into him. He felt warm to the touch, his arms wrapped around me made me feel safe, in a way I had never felt before, and I couldn't help but to hug him back. He stayed silent and only held me while I cried into his chest, I could tell that he felt awkward, and so did I, but I didn't care much. It felt so nice to just be held by him, safe and secure. No matter how much the scene looked like it was from a cheap, cheesy TV show, I liked it.

I got that feeling again, the one from earlier today, the one that felt like I had known him all my life already. The awkwardness dissipated soon (for me at least) and I poured out all of my tears onto him. My racking sobs ebbed down into small whimpers into his shoulder and by now we were lying down more than sitting. I felt tired and I just wanted to lay there with Mello, his chest was comfortable and warm, safe.

Soon I was almost falling asleep, and surprisingly, Mello didn't even make a attempt to complain about any of this. I briefly wondered why, Mello doesn't seem like one who'd be okay with displaying physical affection. Oh wait, I just remembered his sleeping habits. But I pushed the thought away and settled into a more comfortable position on him. My eyes were red and puffy, my face wet with tears and for some reason I didn't care as long as it was just Mello. I couldn't think of anyone else I wouldn't mind seeing me cry.

I felt Mello move slightly and again thought he was getting irritated of me and was going to leave, but then I felt cool lips on my cheek. I froze, my eyes snapped open and I looked at him with a surprised expression.

"I-I'm sorry." He stuttered, looking away. "I...didn't mean to do that, I'll just-" He stopped his sentence and pushed me off of him gently as he got up to leave.

I felt a rush of feelings, so many feelings, like the ones from the day I realized he was gone, when I realized I might be attracted to him. Those feelings scared me, I didn't want to confront them for fear of what I would find, but that kiss on my cheek felt so...nice. Warm, affectionate and comforting. I liked it, and I didn't know what it meant but I didn't want Mello to think he did something wrong and before I knew I did it, I had grabbed his hand; stopping him from leaving.

I wondered if I was just trying to escape the feelings of terror I had about Mom's health, but decided that definitely wasn't why. These nearly overwhelming feelings of companionship and attraction definitely weren't merely an escape from my situation right now. No way.

He stopped and gave me a look that was part confusion, part surprise, and part embarrassment.

"I-it's okay, don't leave...please." I said quietly, almost a whisper, but he heard what I said anyways and stopped.

"Are you sure? I can just leave if you want me to..." He spoke unsurely.

"No, don't leave, I really don't mind."

"Alright," He said awkwardly with his head hung slightly and sat back down beside me, but I noticed how he put some more space between us. There was an awkward silence between us for a few minutes, Mello clearly feeling uncomfortable, it seemed so odd on him.

Then he spoke again, surprising me a little. "Are you disgusted now?" He said it worriedly and didn't look at me.

I looked at him, surprised, and was brought back to the night that I had found him, when he said that his parents don't care about him. It fit together perfectly, I realized it now why he had said that. His parents don't not care about him, they are disappointed about the fact that he likes guys, that he doesn't suit their expectations for a perfect son. That is why he feels that way about them, it is not that they generally dislike him, just that they dislike his orientation. This realization tilted me significantly, and I wondered how I hadn't realized it before. However slight their rejection of him is, they made him feel inferior, and I couldn't help but feel angry at them for not just accepting him the way he is. But I was broken out of my thoughts by Mello speaking again, and realized that I had been silent for awhile.

"You are, aren't you?" He said bitterly, glaring at me through his bangs.

"What? No!" I protested.

"You're lying,"

"Mello, I honestly don't mind at all," I persisted.

"I will leave if you want, I'm sure you won't feel comfortable with me in the same room as you." He said, his voice colder than the freaking glaciers. Wait, that is probably not the best metaphor, seeing how global warming was melting them away...

Well, you get my point.

"Mello," I said, making my voice as firm as I could with my throat still raw from crying, "Look at me."

He complied, surprised at my sudden change in tone.

I didn't know if I really wanted to do it, I wanted to know if these feelings were real and I wanted to know if I really felt that way about him, maybe doing what I was about to do could be the way I finally figure it out, but I wasn't sure I was ready to do it. But I did want to, there was this feeling in my chest again...

Without thinking about it further, I leaned forward and pressed my lips against Mello's own.

The sudden intake of breath through his nose signified his surprise, I knew, and it almost felt like he was about to pull away. But he did stay, replying to the kiss evenly. He definitely didn't expect me to kiss him, which gave me a sort of joy to prove my point to him. But most of all, it was how I felt with his lips against mine that I liked the most. I got this feeling in my chest, like I would explode; it wasn't merely sparks and fireworks like they describe it in books. It just felt right, more right than anything I had ever felt in my life, almost more right than breathing, like it was the most natural thing I could have ever done and that is how I confirmed for myself what I felt towards him. Though I couldn't bring myself to say the words, I knew it was right. I pulled back after a few seconds and looked him straight in the eyes.

"I told you, I don't mind."