Chapter 15

Notes: The plot (or one of the plots, lol) thickens in this chapter. We see how Solas reacts to a surprising incident and Beatrix manages to control her temper a little better.

Thanks to all your lovely comments! Many thanks to my lovely beta, LadyDarksbane as well!

Feel free to add your feedback at the end of the chapter. I love reading what you think!

…

Cullen was pacing up and down the battlements, at the exact place where Beatrix had slipped away and fallen into a rift. After a few minutes he stopped, looking down into the great abyss, keeping his emotions barely in check as the scene where she had let go of his hands replayed over and over again in his head.

He didn't know what to do, he felt so lost without her. If only he'd held on tighter, maybe she would be here and…he shook his head holding back the tears. He had failed her. Worst of all, he wasn't with her to protect her. He had promised to protect her!

He had promised!

What could he do with the guilt he was feeling? How would he go on without her? Sighing, he forced his gaze upwards towards the reddish cliffs that surrounded Adamant.

You must let me go! Your men need you! I'll be fine!

The words she had spoken before she fell only seemed to fuel his desperation even more.

He heard running footsteps approaching and turned, only to see Rylen huffing and out of breath as he stopped in front of him.

"Commander!" he wheezed, trying to get the words out fast. "The Inquisitor!"

Cullen took a step forward, grabbing Rylen by the arm roughly.

"What about the Inquisitor? Speak up!"

"She's here! Her companions, too!" Rylan managed to say all in one breath.

Cullen was suddenly aware that he was nearly twisting Rylen's arm off, and let go, his eyes wide with surprise and hope.

"Where?" he asked quickly, noticing Rylen finally breathing more normally than he had been.

"In the main courtyard where the wardens are," the Captain replied with a grimace. "A rift opened and her companions came out first, then Hawke and Alistair carried her out…"

"What!" Cullen exclaimed, already turning to hurry to the courtyard.

"She's unconscious, Commander…"

And Cullen sprinted into a run, leaving Rylen behind, his heart thumping wildly in his chest and one thought playing over and over again in his mind:

Should have been there to protect her! Should have been there!

…

They had already placed her inside one of the tents used for healing. Cullen stood just inside, his face serious as the healers, Solas and Vivienne took their turns with healing magic, although she didn't appear to have a single wound. Solas turned to leave and paused when he saw Cullen.

"Commander, they will get her out of her armor in order to clean her up," the elf gestured toward the flap of the tent. "walk with me."

"Oh, of course," Cullen replied hastily, following the elf out of the tent.

They walked for a while in silence, until they were relatively alone and out of earshot.

"Is she going to be alright?" Cullen asked the elf worriedly.

The elven mage did not reply immediately and led him further away from anyone who could interrupt them.

"You do remember what happened the last time she was wounded?" Solas asked as he stopped walking, turning to face Cullen.

"She was in the Fade for a very long time," Cullen replied, the concern in his eyes evident.

"I do not guarantee she will regain consciousness soon and it has come to my attention that she is very likely doing the same thing she did last time," Solas said quietly. "I will have to go into the Fade myself to make sure."

"You said something about finding her last time, but – "

"Commander, the Inquisitor creates an area in the Fade that is unlike anything I have ever seen," the elven mage quickly interrupted. "It is a refuge of peace and beauty. I did not think a human mortal as herself would do this."

"What does that mean?" Cullen asked.

"It means she enjoys being there and that in itself is dangerous, for she does not wish to return," Solas said somberly, his blue-grey eyes holding Cullen's. "It means she needs to hear you to return – though I must first see if she is indeed there. You both share a bond that is impossible to miss. You must speak to her as much as possible."

"I won't leave her side."

"There is nothing wrong with her physically, and she responded favorably to your voice as you informed me the last time she did this," Solas said, a small smile appearing on his face. "I shall retire and attempt to meet her in the Fade in the meantime."

Cullen nodded once, the desperation in his eyes causing the mage to suddenly put a hand on his shoulder.

"We must not lose hope, Commander."

And with these words, Solas dropped his arm, turned, and walked away.

…

Beatrix sighed happily, lying on the soft grass, the peace filling and nourishing her. She did not remember what she had been doing or how she had come to be here, but she remembered she had been here before. The sun shone high above her, the trees branches rustled softly in the breeze and the birds sang and flew around.

Why had she ever left this place the first time? She didn't ever want to leave.

"Inquisitor," she heard a voice interrupting her joy and peacefulness.

She frowned and sat up, immediately turning to the source of the voice. A bald elven mage approached her warily, then stopped several steps away from her. Her brow furrowed. She knew this elf from somewhere – his presence was not at all hostile to her.

"Inquisitor, may we speak?" the elf asked with a soft smile on his face.

"I know you from somewhere, don't I?" Beatrix asked, tilting her head slightly, her eyes narrowing slightly.

The elf sat in front of her and she turned around completely to face him.

"What do you remember?" he asked, a pleasant expression on his face. His eyes were inquisitive and looked somewhat concerned.

"I –" Beatrix stopped obviously confused at the question. Not because it was a difficult one, but because she was probably trying to remember something. A few moments later, she looked directly into his eyes again. "Am I supposed to remember something in particular?"

Solas' smile deepened, his eyes twinkling slightly. He had forgotten for a moment how clever she was.

"Do you remember anything at all?" the elf queried next.

At that moment the shouts of a man in obvious pain could be heard all around the place and Beatrix started, standing up.

"Beatrix! I'm here, my love! Please, come back to me!"

The anguish she heard in his voice made her heart thump a little faster. He was in so much pain.

"Do you know who that is?" Solas pressed, now standing beside her.

"I – think I do. Why didn't you come like you did the first time? I know you are the wolf," she turned her head to stare straight into his eyes again. The elven mage took two steps back, his eyes widening in shock.

"Leave." she flicked her wrist at him and –

Solas opened his eyes, his gaze on the tent canvas above him. He sat up, breathing heavily, sweat covering his face. Shaking his head he sat up, his brow furrowing. She knew who he was? Something that felt like fear settled in his stomach.

No, it couldn't be. She had said 'wolf' not his name.

But how was that possible? And just how had she managed to wake him up exactly? She wasn't a mage, and furthermore, there wasn't a spell that could do that.

He shook his head again as he stood, opening the tent flap to step outside. He noticed movement outside the healer's tent and tilted his head slightly in order to catch the words people were talking as they rushed around.

He would have to ask her what she remembered.

That would probably happen sooner than later. Judging by all the activity surrounding the tent where he had left her, it seemed that the Inquisitor had finally regained consciousness.

…

Beatrix took a deep breath, trying to control her anger. She was standing at the same place where Clarel and Erimond had stood when they had tried to bring the Nightmare demon into the world. For Beatrix, it seemed like a long time ago.

A lifetime away.

The crowd of people below were mainly wardens, her inner circle standing behind her. Cullen stood on her left and Leliana on her right. Everyone was waiting for her to speak, so she cleared her throat.

"Today, I realized that stupidity is indeed the one thing that is probably the most dangerous in Thedas. Thanks to stupidity, many innocent people are killed. You stand here before me, the stupidest group of people I have encountered so far."

The wardens fidgeted nervously, waiting for what was to come. Some lowered their heads but a few looked angry.

"It was stupid to believe all you had to do was go into the Deep Roads to find the Old Gods and kill them. It was stupid to believe that you could all end the Blights if you did this. In order to do this you listened to someone from TEVINTER who taught your mages a spell to summon demons from the Fade itself to help. This in itself is unacceptable."

Beatrix took a deep breath and continued her speech.

"You said it was your duty. You said you were following orders. I'm still wondering what the fuck you think duty is. If you see something is wrong but follow orders anyway just because they are orders, well. Let's just say that is a grave mistake. One that Warden Alistair never made. I mean, who in their right mind would do the things you did? Summoning demons to go into the Deep Roads to kill the Old Gods is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. Not to mention the warriors who offered themselves as blood sacrifices in order for this to happen."

Many more wardens were now looking down at the ground, unable to look at her, unable to face her.

"Many here would love for me to exile you. Even though I agree that you are a danger, I feel I cannot let you go. I fear you will do something even more stupid if I do. I cannot risk the lives of more innocents sacrificed by your stupidity. Also, the Inquisition does believe in second chances. I believe in second chances. There is also the matter of the dragon that Corypheus commands. I am told the creature looks like an archdemon. If a Blight is upon us, it may be good to have you wardens around."

One of the warriors stepped forward and knelt, and Beatrix felt her anger rise to the surface.

"Why the fuck are you kneeling! Stand up, soldier!" she barked. The warden warrior stood up immediately and looked up at her.

"I speak for everyone when I say we want to repair the damage we have done, Inquisitor. We want to redeem ourselves," he said in a loud, clear voice.

Beatrix nodded once.

"If this is true, then work to redeem yourselves. You are still vulnerable, but you can fight the demons, am I right?

"Yes, Inquisitor, we can," the warrior replied quickly.

Beatrix scanned the whole group of wardens before her.

"If there are some amongst you who do not agree with this, you are free to leave now," she said. "But know this: if we find you doing more harm than good, we will kill you on sight."

A group of at least a dozen wardens bowed and turned to leave. The rest stayed with the warrior who had spoken.

"Wardens!" Beatrix said loudly. "You are hereby conscripted into the Inquisition ranks and will be given duties accordingly. If you have at least some common sense left in you, you may be able to redeem yourselves."

She nodded and the wardens bowed and swore fealty to the Inquisition, then left the courtyard. Beatrix sighed deeply as Cullen took her hand and squeezed it. "I'll go organize the soldiers and the wardens, love."

She nodded and turned to her inner circle. Solas was looking at her curiously. He looked like he had something to say, but at that very same moment, Alistair stepped forward with a smile on his handsome face.

"Well, I can't say I agree with it all, but it was the only possible outcome, wasn't it?"

"You can leave if you don't agree."

Beatrix looked ready to dismiss him and Alistair held up his hands in a defensive gesture.

"Hey, now! Let me finish!" Alistair protested. "I don't agree with all, meaning I would probably have exiled them all to Weisshaupt Fortress in the Anderfels. I happen to agree with the rest!"

Beatrix smiled at him and winked. "I know, Alistair. I was just teasing you."

"Huh, good to know. You got me there for a second or two."

Beatrix laughed. "I live to serve," she twinkled. "Shame you couldn't see the expression on your face. Hilarious!"

"Ha, bloody ha," Alistair deadpanned.

…

"Inquisitor, a word?" Solas said in a low voice as she walked off in the direction of the tents with Leliana by her side. She turned to the spymaster, who nodded and kept on walking.

"What's on your mind, Solas?" Beatrix asked with a smile.

"Do you remember what happens when you are unconscious?"

Beatrix frowned. She knew she had been in her 'happy place' as she called it, and even knew that Solas had been there, but didn't remember the conversation she had with him.

"We've discussed this before, Solas. I go to a place that is lovely and I feel safe there. I know you were there this time, but I can't remember if we spoke or not, I'm sorry," Beatrix replied. Then, after a short while, her eyes narrowed slightly. "Why are you asking?"

The elven mage seemed relieved, which puzzled Beatrix even more.

"The fact that you can create such a wonderful place in the Fade is curious. I cannot see how you – a human mortal – can perform such a task."

"The first time I was there, I felt relieved, happy to be there," Beatrix mused out loud. "I do remember I wanted to stay, but I felt threatened by a wolf. There was also a lady there, dressed in white."

Solas nodded, tilting his head slightly as he observed her closely. She didn't seem to be lying, but he knew very well that she could remember more if something happened to trigger her memory.

"A lady dressed in white?"

"Yes," Beatrix replied. "I don't think she was there this time. Did you see a lady in white when you…"she paused looking for the right word, "visited me?"

"No, I did not," the elven mage said quietly.

"Were you there the first time?" Beatrix asked inquisitively.

"I am what your people call a 'dreamer', Inquisitor," Solas commented. "I can walk the Fade in dreams and face anything there. This is how I found you this time. It seems you will remember only bits and pieces of what happened there for now. I do not know if this will change, or if you will remember more of your time there."

Beatrix nodded even though he didn't answer her question. At that moment, her eyes fell on the necklace Solas always wore. Her brow furrowed and Solas took several steps back.

"I'm sorry I interrupted you, Inquisitor. We can talk again at a later date, perhaps."

Solas bowed to Leliana who was approaching them, and then inclined his head slightly while looking at Beatrix. He then turned and walked away.

"He looks worried," Leliana commented.

"I think he is," Beatrix frowned. "I just can't seem to understand him completely. He speaks in riddles."

"He does," Leliana nodded in agreement. "Let's hope we can discover what he is hiding soon."

"I don't think we will. He's good at hiding things," Beatrix grinned. "He's also very good at not answering important questions."

"He would have been a good bard," Leliana chuckled. "I know I would have chosen him as one of my scouts if he wasn't a mage."

…

The way back to Skyhold was uneventful, but painfully slow as they were not only travelling with their army, but also with the remaining wardens. Cullen stayed at Beatrix's side, but also visited his troops whenever he had the chance.

"I worry you'll overexert yourself, Cullen," Beatrix commented to him on the third day of their journey.

Cullen smiled and shook his head. "If I felt uncomfortable, I would have told you so."

"Says the Commander of the Inquisition, who is looking deeply exhausted at the moment."

"I'm never exhausted if you're by my side," Cullen stated in a loving tone.

Beatrix smiled shyly at his words. "That's good to know, Commander."

He took her in his arms, holding her close, then kissed the crown of her head gently.

"We'd better put up that tent, love."

"Hmmm," came Beatrix's reply. "I feel so safe in your arms. So protected."

Cullen gave a bark of a laugh and slowly leaned away.

"Oh, alright, alright," Beatrix huffed out in mock annoyance. "I thought you liked holding me."

"If we're in the right place and time," Cullen grinned. "We're in a campsite readying ourselves for tonight, remember? I have to help the soldiers after setting up a tent here for you."

"Excuses, excuses," she laughed up at him. "But this time, I'll forgive you and let you go."

"My lady is most kind," Cullen murmured, bringing his lips down to hers for a kiss.

…

After two long weeks of travelling, they finally arrived at Skyhold. Beatrix sighed with relief, a hot tub of water the only thought on her mind. She handed her horse over to the stable boy and found Cullen standing beside her with a smile.

"I have to see that our army is settled, love," he said as he stepped closer. "I also have to see what information Leliana can give me on those we lost."

"That's a terrible task. If you need me for anything, I'll be in my quarters, taking a bath," Beatrix grinned.

"That – um – image is not one I want in my head right now," Cullen stammered. "I need to be focused."

"Why Commander!" Beatrix exclaimed. "I'm saying nothing out of the ordinary!"

"Of course," he said with a laugh as he pulled her close for a hug. "I'll see you later, then."

"I'm sure Josephine will have some information for us also. There's a ball coming up at Halamshiral remember?"

"Did you have to remind me?" Cullen groaned.

Beatrix burst out laughing as she walked off towards the kitchens, hoping to grab a snack before heading to her quarters. She was home at last and this made her walk with a spring in her step.

After arriving at the kitchens, she managed to get the cook to give her a couple of rolls of bread and then continued, humming a happy tune as she entered the main hall. She ran into Vivienne and stopped with a smile on her face.

"I'm so sorry, Madame de Fer," Beatrix quickly said. "I didn't see you there for a moment. I hope I have not caused any permanent damage?"

The lovely mage gave her a smile, which was rare.

"I'm glad you did run into me, my dear," she said in a sing-song voice. "I have a favor to ask of you if you can spare a moment of your time?"

"Of course, Vivienne," Beatrix said, stopping at the door to her quarters. "What is on your mind?"

"There is an alchemical solution I must make, but one of the ingredients is hard to obtain," Vivienne said, her ice-blue eyes fixed on her. "I had procured it, but the Spymaster informed me while we were travelling here that the people who were bringing it were killed in an ambush."

"What is it that I have to get?" Beatrix asked, crossing her arms in front of her.

"The heart of a snowy wyvern, Inquisitor," Vivienne replied. "It is the most dangerous of its kind, but I'm sure you will be able to hunt and kill it successfully."

"Where do I have to go to kill it exactly?"

"You can find it in the swampy regions of the Exalted Plains," the mage answered back quickly.

"I'll head out first thing tomorrow," Beatrix replied, which caused Vivienne to smile brightly at her.

"Thank you, my dear. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"I have an inkling, Madame Vivienne. You are not one to ask for favors, right?" Beatrix chuckled.

Vivienne's smile disappeared immediately, but she did not reply. Instead she inclined her head and turned to walk away towards the stairs.

Beatrix watched her walk off with an amused expression on her face. Then she sighed as she finally opened the door to her quarters and stepped inside.

Whatever tomorrow would bring, the fact that she would have Vivienne indebted to her after she brought her the heart made her smile deepen. At the very least it meant that the mage would have to hold back any dismissive or sarcastic remarks while she was around.

And that, in itself, was something to look forward to indeed.

…