"I don't know how to say it," Rodd sighed, his voice tired and thick with his Georgian accent. "Every time I think I have the courage to approach her, something happens. I thought I was finally going to be able to do it on Tuesday, but as soon as I opened my mouth she snapped at me."
Kage let out a heavy sigh as she listened to Rodd pour out his problems. Even Yevon probably was scratching its head at the thought, but somewhere down the line Kage had grown kind of soft around the young and cowardly lieutenant. His recent problems communicating with Kashoku should've had her walking out, but instead here she was, giving a sympathetic ear. "That's because she was battling a massive hangover on Tuesday. Bad timing. If you want my opinion, just let it go. I just managed to convince Kashoku Daniel dying wasn't her fault. I don't need you to add to the guilt party that's going around here. Even if you hadn't been injured, it wouldn't have made a difference."
Rafe placed a gentle hand on Rodd's shoulder in agreement. "She's right. Kashoku doesn't hold you responsible. In fact, she mentioned to me the other day during lunch that she was upset you were ignoring her."
Rodd lifted his head marginally, a small glimmer of hope in his brown eyes. "Really?"
"Trust me," Kage said dryly, "Kashoku gets really upset if anyone ignores her. Do you honestly think I liked her when we first met? I became friends with her because it's easier than hating her."
Rafe couldn't help but chuckle. "She really knows how to reel you in, doesn't she?"
Kage huffed in grievance. "Why are you in the military anyway?" The abrupt question was directed at Rodd. It was something that had been on her mind for a while. Unlike Kage's own team, SG-1, and most others she'd worked with, Rodd didn't really fit the soldier mold. She'd actually thought for a while that the guy was like Jackson, pure civilian, until Bentley laughingly corrected her.
Rodd's shoulders slumped and he sank further into Ramirez's office chair. "Believe it or not, our military is really only 20% combat, 80% combat support. I was promised a life doing science in front of a computer providing Intel or whatever else was needed. I never wanted to be put in combat situations, but recruiters lie."
Rafe threw back his head and laughed. "That they most certainly do! Come on, man, you can't regret it though. You could've gotten the desk job you wanted, but you'd never know about what's out there."
Rodd hardly looked convinced by that logic. "There are plenty of scientists here who don't have to see combat. I don't understand why I can't be one of them."
"You do realize that all of the lab rats are civilians, right?" Rafe inquired with an amused upward tug of his lips.
"Yes, I noticed," he groaned, leaning forward to hide his face in the pillow of his arms.
"So then don't be afraid anymore," Kage suggested simply. "You're too useful on the field brain-wise to get benched, so stop thinking about it and wishing for what won't happen. Work on what you can change. If you learn to kick ass in combat, you won't have this problem."
The confused, despairing look Rodd gave when he dared to peek up at her wasn't really surprising. She'd just have to show him what she meant. Standing up from her chair, she grabbed hold of Rodd's jacket collar, heaving him upright with a firm pull and dragging him out of SG-11's office. "It'll be a long process, so might as well start now."
Rodd stumbled and almost fell, unable to get his gangly limbs coordinated as she dragged him about, but another tug from Kage kept him on his feet. She released his collar while he regained his balance, only to put a hand on his back and steer him forward again. "Wait, where are we going?!"
"Where do you think? The gym. Rafe, you coming?" she asked, tossing a look over her shoulder. The man in question was stepping out into the hallway, surprise still all over his face.
"And leave all this paperwork behind – some of which is yours?" Rafe asked pointedly. "Damn right I'm coming."
Rodd managed to wiggle his way out of Kage's hold while she waited for her teammate to catch up, but he didn't take his chance to run. His curiosity had him wondering what the terrifying woman had planned. "Why are we going to the gym?"
"You want to man up and not be such a coward anymore, don't you?" Kage asked as she jammed the elevator button repeatedly.
Rodd shrunk in on himself and shrugged. "I don't know. I guess?"
Kage placed her hands on her hips and drew herself up so that she seemed far larger than the man before her. "The answer to that question is yes," she said dangerously, "because if you don't learn to toughen up you're likely to put Kashy in danger or get her killed. And if that happens, you're dead. You get me?" He didn't get a chance to answer her with the elevator doors opening up behind, but his expression was enough for her to know that he understood. She turned and boarded the elevator and, apprehensively, Rodd followed her.
"Don't worry," Rafe spoke cheerfully as the doors closed behind him and the elevator lurched with motion. "I won't let her kill you."
If it weren't for the fact he had absolutely no where to go, Kage was sure Rodd would have bailed as quickly as possible. The elevator ride was brief, but it gave Rodd time to psych himself out and the lieutenant was looking more than a little freaked when the doors opened. It wasn't far to the gym, however, and sandwiched as he was between her and Rafe, he had no real choice but to see this through. When she kicked off her shoes and stripped off her jacket, tossing it to Rafe to set with his, Rodd hesitantly followed suit. She then moved to the mat in the middle of the room and motioned for him to join her. Rafe stayed along the borders, arms crossed and a smile pulling at his lips.
"Don't break our boy, Kage," he cautioned good-naturedly.
"Why? Would you be jealous?" she threw back, sticking the tip of her tongue out through a grin. "Don't worry, baby, I'll save all that for you."
"Mm-hmm," Rafe leered. Then, "Jeremy, if you manage to knock this one on her ass, I'll buy you lunch tomorrow."
Rodd swallowed audibly, and Kage threw a quick eye roll at Rafe. "You knock me on my ass, I'll buy you lunch," she said dryly. "Alright. Get ready. Put your hands up." Kage put her own up in emphasis, ready to fight.
She could see Rodd swallow hard again, his brown eyes widening with fear and a bright flush creeping up his neck and ears, freckles popping against the redness.
Kage dropped her hands irritably and placed them on her hips. "I haven't even hit you yet!"
"But you're going to!" he argued.
"Yeah, so defend yourself so that I don't break your nose!"
Rodd's hands instantly went to covering his nose, and his eyes squeezed shut in anticipation of a hit. Kage almost didn't even know how to respond to the complete and utter shut down, until she decided to walk up to him and push him flat on his back.
"Ow!" Rodd cried out as he hit the mat with a thud.
"Oh, did that hurt?"
"Yes!"
"Well maybe if you hadn't closed your eyes, you wouldn't have ended up down there." Kage frowned, crossing her arms above him. "Try actually defending yourself next time."
"It wouldn't matter if I tried defending myself or not. I'll still end up down here," he argued as he pushed himself back up to his feet. His ears were an angry shade of red now, and he refused to look at her. It was such a complete shutdown that Kage quickly decided her initial plan to be gentle with Rodd was just not going to cut it. A quick glance in Rafe's direction showed him also frowning, and when their eyes met, he nodded imperceptibly.
"Probably," she agreed with a shrug of her shoulders. "But a shot not taken is a guaranteed miss." She reached out and shoved Rodd again, not enough to knock him over, but enough to send him back a few steps.
"Cut it out," he growled as he easily regained his footing. Kage pushed him again. "Stop!"
"Make me," she challenged, adding extra force to her shove this time. Rodd stayed upright. He didn't back up when she got closer for another shove, but he didn't try to keep her away either, despite the sour expression that had wiped the scared look off his face. When she shoved him again, Rodd let out a slight growl as his foot hit the edge of the mat, and his eyes were set in a narrow, warning stare. Kage gave him her bitchiest smile, a nasty mocking curl to her lips. "Gee, Rodd, who taught you to be such a fucking wuss – your mom?"
Rodd snapped. The thin veneer of control he'd been hanging onto was thrown out the window, and she barely got through all the words before a hand connected with her chest in a surprisingly strong show of force. Her back slammed down against the mat and for a second, air wouldn't come.
"Don't you ever talk about my mom!" Rodd snapped from above her, his brow creased in anger. From the tension throughout his body and the veins standing prominent on his fists and forearms, he looked like he'd like to follow her down and make sure she listened. Kage kept her mouth shut.
Rafe, however, felt no such need. He exploded with laughter on the sidelines, covering his mouth as he whooped. "Aw, shit, you did it now, Kage. You never insult a southern boy's mama."
The moment of shock shifted into a quiet delight as Kage sat up and gave Rodd a smile, ignoring her teammate and the pain in her chest. He'd hit her right on her fucking boobs which hurt like a bitch, but Kage was willing to forgive Rodd that in light of his success. "See? You do have it in you. Looks like Rafe and I owe you a lunch."
The praise seemed to pull through Rodd's haze of anger. As the realization hit, the man reverted back into cringing submission, grabbing his ginger curls in a panic. "Oh god, I'm so sorry! I just wanted you to stop! Please don't kill me!"
Kage groaned and flopped back on the mat as Rafe began laughing anew. "Well… It's a start."
Kashoku might have been imagining it, but she was sure that it wasn't just Rodd that was ignoring her lately. Wells had seemed to be giving her the cold shoulder of late, and it had been eating at her since she noticed it. Usually he would go out of his way to speak with her or invite her to eat with him, but there had been none of that for the past two weeks. But, she hadn't exactly taken the initiative, either. Maybe that was it. With a sigh she looked down at her watch and noticed that it was close to lunch time. She should invite him to go to the chow hall with her.
Pushing her chair back away from the desk she rose and put on a smile as she approached his desk. "Hey!"
"Hey," he spoke drearily, evading her gaze by staring straight at his computer screen.
"It's almost lunch time. You wanna go?" She asked hopefully.
"I've got too much work to do right now," He responded plainly, beginning to type away fervently.
Kashoku bit at her lip, worriedly. Wells always looked for an excuse to get out of doing any kind of work. "You need to eat. You sure you can't take a break?"
Wells sucked in an annoyed breath and glared up at her. "I said I was busy."
She flinched at the tone of his voice, the pure venom unexpected in it. "Ok, I'm sorry," she spoke slowly as she backed away from him feeling crushed that her suspicions had proved to be correct. Looking up she looked longingly at Rodd who looked like he might ask if he could tag along. "You want to go?"
She was sure he was about to say yes, but he looked down at his watch and shook his head. "Sorry, I got to be somewhere in a few minutes."
Kashoku didn't say anything as she disappointingly turned on her heel and walked out on her own.
After almost two weeks of being completely ignored by half of her team, Kashoku was excited to go on the next mission. Being out in the universe meant that Rodd and Wells had to interact with her at some point. Kashoku had accepted rather quickly that Rodd would need to approach her on his own, but what really bothered her more than anything was the cold shoulder from Wells. He had taken every opportunity to avoid her. She was sure they hadn't even exchanged a 'good morning' in the past week. At least if they were split up, she knew he'd be forced to talk with her then. They always paired up together.
As though hearing her thoughts, Wells caught Ellis's attention as their commander finished speaking with the general of this city's military. "I'll go with Carr to check out the armory on the eastern side. See if their aircraft are as cool as they claim."
Kashoku whipped her head to the side to stare angrily at her teammate as Wells gazed off into the distance. What was wrong with him lately? By all rights Kashoku should've been the one acting strange after Daniel's death, and yet here Wells was, acting as though she were contagious!
Even Ellis seemed surprised by the pairing, but unlike Kashoku he let it slide off easily with a shrug. "Okay. Rodd and Kash, go check out that greenhouse thing General Jiva was talking about while I go with him to meet the governor."
"Yes, sir!" Rodd spoke up enthusiastically as he moved to stand next to Kashoku.
"Geez, what is this, fucking Freaky Friday?" Ellis muttered as he walked off with the elder general. Kashoku could distantly hear the general inquiring what Ellis meant by his comment, but they were too far away to hear her commander's response.
To her left, Carr was calling for Wells to wait up, his partner had set off seconds after Ellis turned his back. No doubt to avoid any more time spent around her, she thought bitterly. Why was he acting so strange? Was it possible that Wells thought she should have been able to save Daniel and was holding a grudge? No, Kashoku didn't believe that. She wouldn't. But maybe it was possible that after seeing her White Mage fail her, Wells was reevaluating how safe he felt around her.
Kashoku kicked at the ground, irritable with all this second guessing. It all sounded stupid in her head, and maybe that was the problem. Maybe Wells was just being an idiot – just being a guy, Sam would no doubt tell her with a scoff – and would come around. She wasn't sure how much more of this she could take.
"Are you okay?" Rodd asked Kashoku, touching her lightly on the arm. Judging by the concern on his face, it wasn't the first time he'd spoken to her.
She hadn't even realized he had been talking to her. With a shake of her head to clear those thoughts away, she nodded. "Yeah, sorry. I got a little lost in my head there. Lead the way."
"Right!" He grinned as he stepped back and headed down the marked dirt path with a bounce. "I'm kind of excited to see this system they are using for their crops. We've been working on something similar back on earth, but sustainability has been a big issue, and whenever we get close to a solution, circumstances arise to set everything back again. But it sounds like the greenhouse they've built actually reads and adapts to nutrient levels in the soil to produce good crops with limited strain on the earth. If we can figure out how to replicate that on Earth, it could really revolutionize farming."
Rodd made a quick face. "Of course, it would have to be declassified first and knowing the government, I doubt the technology would be made available to the people who really need it, whose livelihood could only be benefited by something like this. It'll probably be hushed up or sold to the highest bidder. But one day, Kashoku, I guarantee it, the Stargate Program will be declassified and this kind of thing will have to get out, and then the real good can come."
He seemed so alive right then, the bright sunlight of Ghamor setting his red curls aflame, grinning at her with freckle-spotted cheeks as he segued back into rhapsodizing on farming methods. The warm, largely-pastoral planet was good for Rodd, who had told her on their first mission here that it reminded him of his childhood. That mission had been spent acquainting themselves with the local city's military, and then the military's ground mounts. They hadn't been all that different from the horses of Earth, except Ghamorese mounts had a great deal more size and bulk to them. Had it not been for Rodd's great enthusiasm over the horses, her team's alarm likely would've been taken as an insult; instead, they'd all been offered ponies into the city and a grand dinner, and were sent home with an invitation back.
To Carr's clear relief, no one had met them with horses today. Rodd, however, had seemed disappointed when they'd stepped through and were told they wouldn't need to ride anywhere. None of that earlier disappointment showed now as he waved at a pair of children leading a pony twice their height in the opposite direction. The children shyly waved back and fell into giggling whispers as they passed.
"You're unusually bubbly today, even for having new technology to go explore," she commented, a soft smile on her lips, though she regarded him with confusion. She was glad for the fact Rodd was finally making an effort to talk with her again, but she couldn't help but be taken aback by his sudden loquaciousness. Much as Rodd liked Ghamor, he'd practically tried to melt into the floor during the briefing when Ellis attributed the first mission's success to him. It wasn't comfort or pride of recognition loosening her teammate's tongue or having him stand taller today, and she doubted he'd really gotten over whatever was keeping him distant of late. It must be something else, she decided, eyeing him curiously.
Rodd blushed under her perusal and gave a half-hearted shrug, clearly trying to sober up outwardly. "I'm just really excited about this morning, I guess."
Kashoku shuffled through the various events of the morning, trying to think what he could possibly be excited about, but truth be told, she hadn't even seen him until they were going through the gate. "What happened this morning?" she asked, genuinely curious now.
Rodd stopped, planting his feet firmly on the ground with squared shoulders and a proudly puffed chest. "I hit Kage. Properly, too, not just a shove."
Kashoku could feel herself flinch in surprise at the comment, mouth gaping. "I-wait- What did you say?" Almost unbidden, Kashoku perused her teammate's body, checking for any obvious injuries. Nothing stood out, but the uniforms covered almost the entire body. Or perhaps Rodd had been sensible enough to go to the infirmary – but then Janet would want to know what had happened. Was Kage going to be sent back to Spira? Kashoku stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed at Rodd as these disastrous thoughts flew through her mind.
Rodd laughed, something he so rarely did, and he looked so happy that Kashoku slowly closed her mouth and just looked at him in wonder. "Kage's been training me," he explained as he gestured for them to slowly start back on their walk, "to help me try to get over my fear of, well, everything."
This kept getting more and more unbelievable. "Kage? As in Kage from Spira is training you? How exactly is that going?"
"Painfully," Rodd sighed in amusement. "You should have seen the bruises I had after our sessions earlier this week."
"Why didn't you come to me?!" Kashoku cried. She couldn't decide which emotion was dominant in that moment - irritation that Kage had actually gone as far as to hit him or hurt that he hadn't come to her for help.
"Kage made me swear under threat of fist to go to Dr. Fraiser instead of you," he said. "Although I'm pretty sure she was a lot angrier about it than you would have been."
Kashoku rolled her eyes, not at all surprised that Kage was trying to keep this a secret from her. But, honestly, once she got past the shock of it all… She felt a sense of pride that Kage was reaching out to one of her teammates, especially that it was Rodd. He would have been the last person she would have figured Kage would offer a helping hand to, and yet here he was, proudly telling her about landing a hit on a woman who'd not-so-secretly terrified him for months. Kashoku let out a slow breath and placed a gentle hand on Rodd's shoulder. "Well…just be careful, okay? Kage sometimes doesn't know her own strength."
"Tell me about it," he groaned as he absently rubbed at his nose, clearly in remembrance of a wound now healed. "Major Rafe comes to all our sessions to make sure she doesn't kill me."
"Good," Kashoku nodded, satisfied that at least someone was watching his back. "So… It's working, you think?"
Rodd shrugged. "Maybe? I guess I won't really know until we come into contact on a mission. I have a long way to go still, but… Yeah." He smiled sweetly at her. "I think maybe at least now my first thought won't be to run away. It'll just be my second."
"You punched Kage and lived to tell the tale," Kashoku teased. "I'm pretty sure it won't be you running away when that gets out." Rodd ducked his head in shy pleasure, and Kashoku gave him a moment to recover before she shifted the conversation. "So is all this confidence boosting what made you decide to finally speak to me again?" She asked it in jest, not wanting to hurt his feelings bringing up the subject, but she couldn't deny that subject any longer.
Rodd's mood visibly dimmed as he hung his head, his entire countenance portraying shame for having ignored her at all. "Sort of. I was feeling so bad that first week that just seeing you was awful. I kept trying to apologize to you, but I could never get the courage. Kage told me that you didn't blame me, that you were upset I had been ignoring you, but I just couldn't do it until today. I'm sorry."
"Ah, so you'll believe Kage, but not me? I'm hurt," Kashoku spoke with a pout. "Next thing you know, you'll say you like her more than me."
Rodd looked honestly mortified at the accusation. "Not to be rude, but there's no way that would ever happen. Even when she's being nice, she's scary."
For the first time since Daniel died, Kashoku doubled over in laughter. She had missed the feeling of letting herself be able to let her problems go, and for a moment she even forgot about being mad at Wells. "Come on," she breathed in between the fading giggles. "We've got a job to do, my badass friend."
It turned out that the Ghamorese indeed had more to offer than just oversized horses. Rodd had given an excited thumbs up to the greenhouse technology and when they rendezvoused with their team, Wells and Carr reported positive things about their aircraft. SG-15 returned to Earth with good news for Hammond that would hopefully lead to treaty talks with one of the political teams within the next few weeks, and Kashoku herself was feeling decidedly happier with her team situation.
She'd had time on the walk back to the gate to think about how she was going to approach Wells, but when she arrived back at the office after changing into her civilian clothes, her new plan crumbled around her. He was already long gone. With a frustrated sigh she let her purse fall on top of his desk. "Damn it…"
Before she could regroup mentally and think up a plan B, a familiar voice was calling from the open doorway behind her. "Oh, good, you're still here!" Sam Carter was leaning in the doorway, a cheerful smile on her face. "I saw that you guys had gotten back in not long ago. I was hoping I'd catch you before you left."
Kashoku returned the smile, happy to see her friend. Between SG-1's grounding following Daniel's death and SG-15 picking up some of the lead team's slack, there just hadn't been any time lately for them to see one another. Sam looked worlds better than the last time they'd crossed paths, only a few days following the funeral. "Hey! Yeah, lucky for you I forgot something and had to come get it. What's up?"
Sam walked in and pulled up a chair to the center island, Kashoku following suit. "There was kind of something I wanted to talk to you about."
Kashoku's heart sank in worry at her friend's serious expression. "Is everything okay?"
"No, yeah, yeah!" Sam responded swiftly. "Everything's fine. We were just going through Daniel's things and we've been trying to figure out what to do with a lot of it. He doesn't have any family that we can give it to. I realized that his Jeep was still parked here and since it's paid off I thought… Well, maybe you'd want it?" She pulled the keys in question from her pocket and set them on the desk.
Kashoku blinked in surprise. "You want me to have his car?"
"Well, yeah," Sam nodded. "It can't just sit there forever, and it would save us the trouble of having to put it up on the market. This way you wouldn't have to rely on your teammates to give you rides all the time either. Plus," she gave her a sad smile, "I really think he'd want you to have it."
Kashoku gingerly reached out for the keys. It wasn't just Daniel's car key on the chain, four or five others keeping it company. She fiddled with them, fondly thinking about where each one went and memories of what they unlocked. One for his apartment, one for the safe in his closet, one for the china cabinet with his most precious small artifacts, his office key… With a hesitant nod she decided. "Okay. I… Thank you, Sam. I really appreciate it. This will help out a lot."
Sam took her hands in hers and squeezed before moving to stand. "I really wish I could hang out tonight, but I've got a ton of work to do in the lab. Any plans for the weekend?"
"Well, I hope so, now," Kashoku responded, slinging her purse over her shoulder. "Saturday night, around 8?"
"Great," Sam grinned. "I'll see if Janet can join us too. I'd invite Kage, but…"
"Mm, she doesn't have that much of a leash quite yet," Kashoku laughed. "Maybe if she continues to behave, we'll get there."
"How's she doing anyway?" Sam asked thoughtfully as they set off together down the hall to the elevator.
"You know? Really good," Kashoku replied, a fulfilling feeling rising up within her as she spoke those words. "She's finding her place, and she hangs out with her team a lot more than me."
Sam's brows shot up in surprise. "Wow. On purpose?"
Kashoku giggled. "Yeah, on purpose. I think she's even conspiring to steal my own team away from me. Carr spent all of yesterday moaning about how she keeps whipping his butt at basketball. And did you know she's taken Jeremy under her wing as her apprentice?"
The face Sam gave her was about the same she had given Rodd at that information. "She what?!"
"Yeah!" Kashoku confirmed with a nod. "She's apparently been teaching him how to fight! It's crazy."
Sam shook her head in pleased disbelief. "That's great, though. I have to admit, I didn't think she'd make it."
"You weren't the only one," Kashoku agreed, and they continued to catch up until the elevator opened up on the lab floor. "Don't work too hard," she bid her friend.
"Who needs sleep?" Sam joked. She stepped out and waved, and Kashoku pressed the button for the exit floor.
It was a weird feeling getting behind the wheel of the Jeep she had ridden in so many times. Nothing had changed from the last time she had been in it. It was still immaculately clean and the same Egyptian charm hung from the mirror. She turned on the engine and moved to shift gears when she noticed the phone connected to the charger, sitting in the groove on the dash. "Typical Daniel," she smiled fondly as she reached for it. "Always leaving his phone in here." The car, even turned off, had kept the phone charge and it lit up instantly as she pressed the button on the side. There were notifications of several missed calls, texts, and voicemails, but her heart stopped when she noticed the picture behind the notifications.
It was her.
The photo had been taken at the zoo on their last date. She had several bright colored birds perched on her shoulder and the seed stick she had been holding. Even after all those weeks he had never changed it. Lowering the phone she bit at her lip, refusing to cry. Daniel was gone, and continuing to hold on to his memory wasn't going to change anything. Right now, she needed to save the relationships of those that were still alive. Gathering herself back together she placed the vehicle in reverse and attempted to remember the route to Wells's house.
"So how about it? You up for another night on the town?" Ramirez asked, her hip cocked out to the side as she leaned against the lockers. Her long thick hair was down, curling over one shoulder and just touching the name of some band whose cover art decorated her black t-shirt. She wasn't really dressed for a night on the town as Kage had come to expect, the other woman tending towards lower necklines and nicer jeans than that worn looking pair to entice more free drinks her way, so Kage felt more confident in turning down the offer.
"I don't know," she voiced hesitantly, almost regretting her answer if only for rejecting a chance at the outside world. "I didn't think I'd ever say it, but almost two weeks straight of going out and drinking? I'm kind of tired of it. And I can't take another night of Bentley."
Ramirez gave a knowing laugh as she shifted her weight, not looking bothered at all. "Yeah, I can understand that. I guess after so many years with him I've learned to just pretend he doesn't exist."
"Yeah, well, I'm not there yet," Kage said as she reached back to tie her hair up.
"Well, I can go get us some movies and dinner? Bring it back here and just stay in for the night," she suggested.
Kage shrugged. "That's fine. But you don't have to do anything if you don't want to. I think I can survive a boring night by myself."
"Yeah, well," Ramirez looked away, "maybe I just want to, okay? You can even invite Kashoku if you want."
Kage thought about that. It had been a while since she and Kashoku had really hung out with each other, but she had a feeling this late in the day the woman was already gone. Standing up she reached for her friend's locker and popped it open because Yevon forbid the woman get a damn lock for the thing. Her purse was absent. "Looks like she's already got plans."
"Probably for the better. Knowing puta bonita she would have wanted to watch some fucking sappy chick flick." Ramirez pulled out her own personal items from her locker before slamming it shut and shoving her hands in her back pockets. "Any food suggestions?"
"Whatever's fine," Kage answered, truly indifferent to any of her options. She had never been extremely picky with food, and Earth did have a lot more variety than Spira so it kept it interesting.
"Okay, I'll be back in a bit then," Ramirez said, flashing a smile as she backed out of the locker room.
Kage popped out the crick in her neck before she closed her own locker and headed back to her room on base. In the last month alone, it had become significantly more inviting than the militaristic cell with a door it had seemed like when she first decided to stay. The walls were still hideous, but Kashoku and even her teammates had gotten or lent her things here and there that gave the room a more personal touch, and on top of the dresser her garment grid cast orange hues on the room that Kage rather liked.
She had never really had a place to call home before, not back on Spira. Her bed was wherever she could find one when she was hunting. Lunestiswas as close as she'd come, but even then it had been a bed set in the corner of an airship. She would never be caught dead admitting it to Kashoku, but she kind of liked it here.
Turning on the TV, Kage kicked off her boots and plopped back onto her bed. She wasn't sure when Ramirez would be back, so she might as well get comfortable.
By the time Kashoku finally made it to Wells's house through the missed turns and heavy traffic, it was almost dark. The sun was gone beneath the visible horizon and only a few rays still lit up the sky in the distance. Wells's house seemed dark, its porch light off, but his car was in the driveway and she could see a light on in the kitchen as she pulled in. Probably feeding Justice, she thought fondly, killing the engine.
Emotionally, Kashoku didn't feel up to this confrontation anymore, but now that she was here and not driving around endlessly, she couldn't turn back. This conversation needed to happen, and maybe she should wait for Wells to come to her, but… A part of her knew that he wouldn't come to her on base. So she strode across the yard, shoulders back, and if there was hesitation when she reached the door, nobody was there to notice. She reached out and rang the doorbell.
Instantly, Justice was at the door barking. If it weren't for the fact she was well acquainted with the dog he would have sounded very intimidating. Even still, the time she was left standing there, the Irish Setter kicking up a fuss on the other side of the door, was almost enough to have her changing her mind. Maybe Wells was out for a run or something. She shifted and made to turn away, but the porch light switched on at that moment, the locks tumbled, and Wells stood on the other side of the door, surprise on his face.
"Kash? What the hell are you doing here? How- Whose car is that?" he asked, giving the empty Jeep a confused look.
"Um, it's mine," she explained simply, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear in a nervous motion. "Can I come in?" she asked. She didn't want to talk about her new Jeep, or let Wells side-track the conversation.
He looked uncertain, closing the door slightly. "I don't know if that's a good idea."
"Please let me in," Kashoku pleaded, putting one hand on the frame and the other on the door itself, keeping it from shutting on her. She wasn't putting any weight into it, so Wells could've easily dislodged her, but he didn't push back.
Instead, Wells stepped away from the door with a heavy sigh, opening it with him, and turned his back as she walked in behind him. Justice stopped barking finally, recognizing her once she was fully inside, and eagerly showered Kashoku's hands with kisses. Wells continued towards the kitchen, and with one last pat to Justice, she followed after him. He was leaning heavily against the counter, nursing a glass of whiskey. The decanter was a few feet away on the table, so he must've been working on it before she showed up.
Wells met her troubled frown with a supercilious look, brow raised challengingly. He took a pointed sip of the whiskey, smacked his lips, and spoke. "Why are you here?" His voice, at least, was at odds with his arrogant demeanor, low and bogged down with exhaustion from their long week. It emboldened Kashoku, a new lick of irritation bolstering her tongue as she realized he was putting on an act, pushing her away in a way that just wasn't Wells.
"Why have you been acting this way?" she demanded.
"Acting what way, Kash?" he asked.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about," she countered angrily. "Ever since Daniel died you've refused to do anything with me, including saying 'hi'! You do your best to avoid me at every turn and won't even acknowledge my presence when we're in the same room together. You've been an ass! Why?!"
Wells put the glass to his lips and downed the entire last finger of whiskey. "If I recall, Rodd has been doing the exact same thing and I don't see you running off to his house to yell at him."
"That's because Jeremy is not you!" She shouted out, her heart stopping as the words left her lips. She had never meant to admit that. Wells knew it too by the way his eyes widened and his grip on his empty glass tightened, trying to bring it up for an aborted sip before he gingerly set it down on the counter. She could feel her heart beating rapidly against her chest, but there was no going back now. "I can't lose another person I'm close too, Brandon. I can't. Please don't shut me out."
Wells licked his lips and looked away, his entire belligerent attitude dropping until he stood there, pressed against the counter like a man lost, tired but honest. "I don't know how to approach you anymore, knowing that I was partly responsible for you not being able to save Jackson," he admitted, voice rough with regret. "And that I…" He made a frustrated noise after he trailed off, scrubbing at his face and hair roughly, but he didn't continue. He just looked at Kashoku guiltily.
She could've pressed, but really, Kashoku didn't need to. She knew, just as Daniel had known but never mentioned, what always sat unacknowledged between her and Wells. Instead she focused on what he had said, biting back her frustrated laugh because how stupid these men in her life were. "You weren't responsible, and neither was Jeremy. That kind of affliction is not something I can cure, even at full strength. I just can't." She sighed and tucked her hair back again. "I wish you had talked to me, Brandon. I could've told you this weeks ago. My healing you had nothing to do with my inability to help Daniel. You shouldn't feel guilty.
"We're in a dangerous line of work and people are going to die. Daniel knew that and he accepted his death. I've let it go. Please do the same. I hateit when you don't talk to me. I hate it when you look away and don't acknowledge me. With Jeremy I could take it. I knew he would come around on his own, but you?"
Wells didn't meet her gaze for a long time, absently tapping his glass gently on the counter top as he watched Justice gnaw on a toy in the doorway. For a while the dog's playful growls were the only noise in the kitchen before Wells looked up at her with tired eyes. "Why?"
"What?" she asked startled.
"Why me?" he asked again. Slowly, he set the glass down levelly and straightened up, waiting.
Kashoku took in a deep breath, trying to sort through all the hundreds of reasons she could tell him that would answer his question. She didn't voice any of those reasons. Instead she thought back to what he had almost said, and all the moments they'd used to share together, and came to a decision. She licked her lips and took a step forward, and bravely answered, "I could ask you the same thing."
There was only a second's pause before Wells dove in and pressed their lips together. Kashoku leaned into the kiss, reaching up to grab at his arms to steady herself. As soon as she gave that indication this was what she wanted, Wells let loose. He wrapped his strong arms around her torso and lifted her up, turning to set her level with him on the counter.
It was as though something had finally been set free within the both of them, a desperate need that they'd pushed down and ignored for too long. This wasn't the time for slow or sensual. It wasn't anything Kashoku had ever had with Daniel. Instead, the energy filling the room was desperate and purely sexual. There was no talking, no going slow. They grabbed at each other's clothing, ripping and clawing to get to skin, pulling away only to shuck shirts off, and then joining their mouths again desperately.
Wells's hands were all over her skin, unable to quench his thirst by the touches alone, his mouth burning hotly across her neck, jaw, the edge of a breast where the bra's cup ended. His thumb slipped under the wire to rub the base of her breast while his fingers danced across her ribs and Kashoku arched into the touch, dragging his head down to pillow between her breasts. His tongue dipped below the gore and licked a hot trail up the valley, and Kashoku pulled him back up to her mouth by his hair, kissing him over and over, sucking and nipping at his jaw while her legs tried to pull him in closer.
When Kashoku shoved her hands down his pants, brushing against his straining penis through the cotton of his boxers, Wells hissed and buried his face in the crook of her neck, pulling her hand away. Before she could try again, he was slipping his hands under her thighs and lifting her up, Kashoku hurriedly locking her arms around his neck as he carried her over to the couch, cursing as he almost tripped over Justice. Kashoku hit the couch harder than she would have normally liked, but the fact Wells followed her down, shifting between the spread of her legs, and swooped into another long kiss like he couldn't get enough more than silenced any complaints. Kashoku threw her head back and moaned as he pushed her bra up and sucked a nipple into his mouth, other hand palming her other breast until he lifted his head to lathe at that one, a hint of teeth grazing the nipple and drawing a hiss from her. Her nails raked across Wells's back lightly, and her hands groped down and underneath his pants to grip his ass firmly.
Wells jerked slightly in her grip and huffed out a low moan. He maneuvered himself upright with a last kiss and crawled up her slightly, one hand reaching over her towards the drawer in the stand. Cursing when he still couldn't reach, Wells moved to his knees and leaned over her more. As he finally got the drawer open, Kashoku licked her lips at the expanse of torso and covered groin before her. Rising to her elbows she licked and kissed his stomach, the muscles tensing at her ministrations as Wells let out a frustrated growl and his search became more frantic. Kashoku laughed and laid back down to eagerly pop the button of his jeans, carefully tugging the zipper and then pants down enough to free him except for his boxers, and palming him with precise touches. Wells's penis strained against the fabric, precum leaking out to wet the material. Kashoku had just leaned forward to suck at the wetness when Wells let out a victorious cry and sat back. She tried not to pout too much, choosing instead to sit up and meet him in another open-mouthed kiss, hands slipping behind her back to undo her bra until she gave it up for too tangled, dragging it over her head uncomfortably instead.
Wells made good use of the time she was struggling to shove his pants and boxers down. He was quick and methodical with the aluminum wrapper and took only a moment to appreciate the sight of her beneath him, pupils blow, nipples hard and red, lips spit-slick and swollen, tongue caught between her teeth as she laid back and looked her fill. They were both too needy to linger long though. Kashoku made a soft noise in the back of her throat and touched his bare thigh, and Wells had his lips back on hers before she could even catch her breath. His hands fumbled with her zipper, and she tried to scramble up the couch to shove them down just as he yanked hard on her jeans and underwear, her slender body sliding down the couch with them and a yelp. With a snort, Kashoku wiggled higher and grabbed the couch before Wells pulled again. This time the clothes went without their owner.
Both of their jeans were just pushed down off their waists, but Wells was pressing in and Kashoku's back arched with a loud gasp as she felt herself grow completely full. It was uncomfortable, but it was exactly what she wanted in that moment. Wells didn't give her much time to adjust, keeping with the fast pace they had started with. Kashoku clawed at his back, certain she was drawing blood, but Wells was playing right along as he bit at her lower lip.
This wasn't loving sex, couldn't be anything but a primal rough fuck, she knew. She and Wells were having a silent battle of dominance, broken only by their harsh grunts and moans, and Kashoku decided she wanted to be the winner of their friendly skirmish. With a forceful shove she pushed Wells up and out of her, his surprise giving her time to scramble the rest of the way out of her clothing and shove him back against the back of the couch.
He looked up at her with lust blown eyes, showing no indication that he was rejecting her need for control. Sinking down into his lap she grabbed onto his hair forcefully and latched back onto his mouth. His nails dug into the small of her back, then down to palm roughly at her ass, and she moaned encouragingly into his lips. His hips began moving to meet her and before long she had to pull away from his lips to let out a sharp gasp as her body trembled with orgasm. She felt paralyzed with pleasure as she continued to quiver.
Wells took the opportunity to take back control and had her slammed back into the cushions, his breaths and movements becoming more and more erratic before he was crying out against her lips and he came to a halt above her. Their breaths came out in pants, Kashoku rubbing soft circles into Wells's forearm and their eyes locked onto one another. When his breathing finally evened back out he reached up and brushed back a strand of hair that was stuck to her sweaty forehead before leaning down and kissing her long and hard.
Breaking their kiss, he stood and pulled off the condom, tying it off and padding to the kitchen to throw it away. When he came back, he reached down and laced his fingers with hers, tugging her up with him. He shrugged his jeans all the way off onto the floor and led her silently to the bathroom before letting go of her hand to turn the knobs to the shower. Kashoku stepped in and let the hot water flow over her skin. There was a sharp hiss as it hit areas where Wells had broken skin, but when he stepped under the spray with her she could see she had done the same to him. She was still wearing her ring, so with a gentle touch to one of the welts on his arm, she let her magic flow until the bruises and cuts disappeared without a trace.
Wells tugged her into his arms and gently ran his hands across her body, rubbing away the sweat and, perhaps, taking the chance to explore her more patiently. They stood there in each other's arms without a word spoken until the water grew cold. Wells dressed himself in a ratty t-shirt and a pair of boxers before handing Kashoku one of his own shirts and dragging her to the bed. They settled next to each other, Kashoku placing her head against his chest and his arm wrapping protectively around her waist.
"I don't regret it," Kashoku spoke softly, breaking the silence. Even though there wasn't an air of awkwardness between them, she felt it needed to be said.
"Well, if I did I wouldn't have let you stay around," Wells said with his returned cockiness. "Have to admit, though, it feels a lot like a rebound." He gave a snort. "I would know."
Kashoku felt a stab of guilt run through her, and she lifted herself off of his chest. "I'm so sorry I-"
Wells gently reached for her arm and pulled her back down. "I never said that I wasn't okay with it. In my experience rebound sex is the best sex, and you hardly disappointed."
Kashoku smiled against his shirt, but she wasn't completely convinced. "It's not like that…not completely. Daniel and I had been done for a while. I just… I need to be near someone. I need the closeness, but Brandon," she moved her head so that her chin was resting against his and her eyes met his. "You'll get in trouble. You said there were rules about teammates and relationships. I don't think I could stand it if something happened to you."
"Trouble is understating it," he sighed. "We go to jail for that sort of thing. At least, we're supposed to. But hey!" He spoke with a more light-hearted tone, "None of us have ever exactly been ones to follow the rules before, so why start conforming now? Besides…" He sighed, looking more serious as he stared up at the ceiling. "You aren't the only one who could use the closeness. I've tried just having a friend-with-benefits relationship with some girls, but no matter how great the sex was I could never just talk with any of them about work. I never wanted a serious commitment with them, but some days it's just nice to talk with someone about how I got captured by some Jaffa and thought that today might have been my last. I'm not saying let's be in a relationship – it would never work – but for now… Maybe we can just be with each other?"
Kashoku curled into his side and grinned. "That's an eloquent way of calling us friends-with-benefits."
He rolled his eyes as he turned on his side to meet her. "Would you rather I just call us fuck buddies?"
She smiled wider. "It's calling it what it is, I suppose." She let out a small laugh. "Kage would have a field day right now…"
"She can't know," he said softly. "No one can."
"I know," Kashoku responded with a sigh.
"I mean it. No one. Not Carr, not Michelle, not Kage."
"I know… Do you think it's worth it?"
Wells reached up and caressed her cheek with his thumb. "Yes. Do you?"
She didn't answer right away, thinking back to how her and Daniel's first attempt at a relationship ended up with him being grounded. If they were caught, the consequences would be far worse.
"Yes."
It was close to two hours before Ramirez returned, bitching about traffic, but takeout food in one hand and alcohol in the other. "I thought we weren't drinking?" Kage asked, raising an eyebrow as she sat up on her elbows. She inhaled. "Shit, what is that?"
"You said you were tired of going out and drinking," Ramirez commented as she set everything down on the table, "This is staying in. And I ordered Chinese, but then I caught a whiff of wings next door when I was buying the beer, so I said fuck it, I'm a goddamn Marine and you're some kind of alien witch, we can totally eat both."
"Fair enough," Kage responded to all of it, cravings for a drink rising up as she eyed the dark brown beer bottles in the various six packs. She climbed off the bed and reached for one instantly while Ramirez laid out the absolutely insane amount of food on the foot of her bed, popping off the top and flinging it into the trash can. "So, what are we watching?"
"I don't think I can survive another mission where you don't understand Bentley's Fight Club references, so we are watching that," she said simply as she pulled the DVD from one of the bags. "It's a cult classic that even Kashoku should watch."
"Good luck with that," Kage huffed before stuffing a large egg roll into her mouth.
They made it through Fight Club, Kage thoroughly enjoying it as Ramirez had expected, and had gotten about half way through Top Gun. The wings had been absolutely decimated, the Chinese looking barely touched despite how much of it they'd eaten, and the beer was almost out. They were as full and satisfied as they could be when Kage started laughing, leaning more of her weight on Ramirez's shoulder.
"Oh my god, he does act like that," she commented, her cheeks a soft red from the buzz. "I'm honestly surprised he hasn't tried singing to Kashy yet."
"Don't count it out just yet," Ramirez laughed. She had told Kage when they started the movie that Top Gun was kind of corny and really inaccurate, but that all pilots actually were pompous, cocky bastards. Wells and the main character had a lot in common with their personalities, she'd said with a smirk.
Kage definitely couldn't disagree. "Is that what he flew before he joined the SGC?"
"Similar," Ramirez nodded. "Those are naval jets, and he's Air Force, so different model numbers, but pretty much the same. Wells would probably tell you differently, but trust me, don't let him. He'll go on and on and will cry when you tell him you don't give a shit."
"Ugh," Kage groaned with a smile as she let herself fall back on her pillows happily. "Thanks for doing this."
Ramirez fell back next to her, beer still in hand. "Eh, not like I have anything better to do. Antonio can take care of himself. You know, did I tell you what he did? I tried to go by my apartment to grab some real booze, but the fucker doorsocked the damn door. Not his bedroom, Kage, the fucking apartment door. Little shit." Ramirez started giggling next to her, struggling to hold the beer level so none spilled.
Kage snorted at how amazed her companion sounded, but honestly she wasn't really following her. It never really seemed to matter with Ramirez though. She tried to remember what she'd been saying before and went back to that. "Yeah, but I mean, you've put up with me a lot more than you have to," she said, struggling to keep her words coherent.
"You're not so bad," Ramirez countered, turning her head to smile briefly at her. "I expected a lot worse after all the stories that were going around after your first visit."
Kage let out a harsh snort. "I can only imagine the things said."
"Eh, no different than what they all say about us. We're kind of the outcast team. A bunch of fuckin' jarheads who have a knack for violence," Ramirez sighed, taking another swig of her beer. "Marines have never exactly been anyone's favorite."
"Fuck 'em. They're my favorite," Kage said, turning her head so that she was staring right at Ramirez.
Ramirez returned her stare, one eyebrow raised questioningly. "Whatever, chica, I'm calling bullshit."
"No, I'm serious," Kage insisted, shifting so that she was sitting further upright. "Do you think anyone else would have given me an outlet to let out all my anger and frustration the way you and Rafe do? Or that any other team leader would have asked Hammond to put me on a team?"
"Not in a million years," Ramirez agreed as she set her beer down on the night stand and adjusted so that she was level with Kage. Her hair was all mussed up and her face was a little ruddy from the booze, and there was a stain of sauce from the wings on her cheek, but she didn't look anything but beautiful as she met Kage's gaze.
"So, see? I'm serious. And…" Kage bit at her lower lip. She knew that if she hadn't been drinking, she'd never have the balls to say this, to do anything but look, but she also knew that she wanted to tell Ramirez, who she'd seen looking before too and who wanted to hang out with Kage tonight even if nobody else was there. "You're my favorite out of everyone," she whispered. Ramirez was staring at her blankly, seemingly not really knowing what to say, so Kage swallowed hard, gathered her nerves, and leaned in. The smell of the wing sauce was overpowering this close up, the angle was awkward as hell, and Ramirez's lips tasted like beer, but her mouth was soft and responsive as Kage kissed her. She slipped her hand up, fingers just brushing Ramirez's silky hair and the skin of her neck, and it felt like her stomach was in knots she was so happy – and then Ramirez inhaled sharply and shoved Kage back and over the side of the bed.
"What the fuck?!" Ramirez scrambled off the bed on the other side, her eyes wide. Kage could only stare in stunned silence as she climbed to her knees. Shouldn't she be saying that? "What the fuck gave you the idea that you could just do that?!" Ramirez demanded.
"I'm sorry, I thought-" Kage started, confusion in her voice. She was too off-kilter to really snap back, too thrown by this sudden turn of events at the moment, but Ramirez had no such problem, cutting her off.
"Whatever the hell you thought, fucking forget it!" Her body was trembling despite the fierce words, and it wasn't anger in her brown eyes as she tried to glare at Kage, bending over and dragging her socks and shoes on with jerky, hurried motions. Clearly the woman was intent on not staying a moment longer.
Kage clenched her lower jaw shut. She was well aware of the risk she had been taking when she made a move, but this reaction was blowing it well out of proportion. She climbed to her feet and tried to soothe over the situation as best she could in her buzzed state. "Shit, Ramirez, all you had to do is say no. I just thought I had seen you eyeing up women at the bars and-"
"You fucking didn't! Do you understand me?" Ramirez was across the small room in seconds, hands gripping tightly around the collar of her shirt. "You never saw that!"
Kage's heart was beating fast, pounding in her ears. She had never seen her friend look like this, and it had her terrified. "No, I don't-"
"Kage! I have never looked at another woman like that and neither have you! Do. You. Understand?" Her fingers were gripped so tightly they were turning pale and Kage could feel the fine tremors running through them even if she somehow hadn't seen what was before her eyes.
She gently placed her hands on Ramirez's and squeezed, trying to offer some small comfort against whatever this was as she gave an unsure nod. "Yeah… Yeah, I got it," she said softly.
Ramirez removed her hands swiftly, as if Kage's touch caused burns on her skin. Her breaths were quick and she stood there simply staring for several moments, her mouth opening and closing a few times before she spun around, grabbed her keys from the top of the dresser, and fled with a slam of the door.
Kage sat heavily on the bed, confusion, rejection, and worry replacing the warm fuzzy buzz she'd been enjoying just five minutes before, and in the background Top Gun droned on.
"What the hell just happened?"
The next morning didn't bring any more clarity. All morning long Ramirez not only ignored any attempts at a conversation, but she was blatantly being a bitch. That was saying something coming from her, but the other woman was snapping at her for everything from asking questions to ribbing Bentley about the date he'd had the night before, even though Ramirez herself normally gave the man way worse for his thinly veiled booty calls. Even Bentley had taken Kage's side, but Ramirez ripped into him so bad he just held up his hands and went back to his own work until he could flee to SG-15's office without Connors having his ass. Rafe actually pulled rank on Ramirez at one point, telling her she was damn lucky Connors wasn't around, but the warning only reined the Latina in marginally. She was all over the place and Kage wanted to help her, but the more time spent in the small room with her and Rafe's narrowed, suspicious gaze, the angrier Kage got. It was barely approaching lunchtime when she had to storm out, the only alternative before she started throwing fists.
In the hallway, she hesitated. She could go to SG-15's lab like Bentley did, but no doubt he had told everyone he passed about Ramirez's warpath, and she feared she might actually snap if she had to hear a single word about it from Carr or Wells, asking her what she'd done. She knew what had set Ramirez off – she just didn't know why. And with the woman in question making it clear there would be blood if Kage tried to approach her to clear things up, Kage wasn't likely to have an answer anytime soon. That left only the gym where at least the equipment could be replaced if she lost it.
Unfortunately, some people on her team couldn't leave well enough alone. Luckily for the SGC, it wasn't Ramirez.
"What the hell is up with you two?" Rafe called out, having finally tracked her down. She'd had a good few minutes with the punching bag before he arrived, so he must have gone to SG-15's office first. Or he'd taken the opportunity of privacy to give Ramirez the same third-degree he was about to give her. Kage landed a kick so hard that the punching bag flew off its hook.
"I don't know. Why don't you fucking ask her?" Kage hissed as she reached down for the chain to lift the bag back up.
"I did. I can only assume she told me to go do something very inappropriate to myself in Spanish," he responded as he moved to a mat and motioned for her to join him.
"Well, maybe you should follow her advice." She took a fighting stance and they began to maneuver around each other. Normally she tried to wait Rafe out, but today she was angry. She faked to the right and then came at Rafe hard.
"It might be interesting to try," Rafe responded, dodging a fist and ducking around to the side of her, "but I think I'd like to figure out why both of you are being royal assholes first." He blocked Kage's next kick and stepped back warily when she backed up a few steps and gave him a measuring look. "You two were bosom buddies when I saw you yesterday. The hell happened?"
Kage thought about not telling him, but she figured that if anyone knew Ramirez it would be Rafe. She sighed as she got back into a fighting stance, and across from her, Rafe mirrored her actions. "We stayed in last night and watched some moves, had a few beers," she breathed as she threw a few punches and followed with a kick that just missed from side swiping his feet from under him.
"Okay, and? Sounds normal."
"And I kissed her."
Rather than deflecting her next punch, Rafe grabbed Kage's wrist and jerked her in close, grabbing onto her and literally dropping like a rock to the mat. They both landed like shit, the wind rushing from Kage as she landed, and half under her, Rafe let out a grunt and rolled her underneath him.
"What the fuck?!" Kage snapped. "Foul!"
"Shut up," Rafe said his face serious as he looked down on her.
Kage was stunned enough that she frowned, closing her mouth on the rest of that rant. "Okay…" she said slowly. "But unless you start talking real fast, I'm going to throw your ass across the room like I did that bag."
Rafe sighed. "Kage, I don't know what it's like on Spira, but you can't fucking say shit like you just did here. About kissing women," he added, quietly but intently, leaning in close and staring her down. "Don't ever say that."
Kage shoved Rafe off of her, suddenly furious again. "I don't fucking understand what you two's deal is! I made an assumption that turned out to be wrong and you two go fucking postal! All she had to say was that she wasn't interested! If it's because we're on the same team then, again, that was all she had to fucking say."
Rafe shoved a hand over her mouth and pressed her back down. "Shut the hell up! You can't just be shouting that shit wherever you want!"
Kage shoved his hand away and leaned up into his face. "I don't understand! Why?!"
Rafe looked around hesitantly, making sure that no one else was around that might hear. Most of the personnel who were anywhere nearby had headphones in thankfully, and while their time on the ground was gaining a few looks, most people were used to his and Kage's spars occasionally ending in wrestling and fucking around, so no one seemed suspicious. If his girl kept making a fuss though, that might change. "Because you can't be gay in the military," he said finally.
"I don't know what that means!" she responded furiously.
"It means," he growled, "that women can't love women and men can't love men!"
Kage's mouth dropped, actually taken back enough to be speechless for a few blessed seconds as he cautiously let her sit up and moved back to kneel in front of her. Then, "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard!" She punched him in the arm, glaring.
"Hey, look, I'm not saying it's right," he said, throwing his hands up defensively, his sharp motion contrasting against the hush of his voice. "I personally don't give two shits who you want to fuck, but the military says it's taboo, and frankly so does a lot of our world still. Maybe someday it'll be different, but right now this is how it is. If anyone around here heard you saying that shit, she could lose her job and worse. You understand, now?"
No. She didn't. There weren't forbidden relationships on Spira. There were no words that labeled different types of relationships and no one cared. So, no, she didn't understand why it was taboo. But… Shit. She could understand why Ramirez had flipped out if her entire job was at risk. Why Ramirez would continue to flip out if Kage ever tried again, even if she did apologize and fix things between them. Her shoulders slumped in defeat and she stared down at the mat. "Was I at least right?"
"About what?" Rafe asked as he stood and offered her a hand up.
"You know… my assumption," she whispered the word as she grabbed her towel.
Rafe raised an eyebrow at her. "Tch. I don't know shit, ya feel me?"
Kage sighed out of frustration, but there was nothing else she could do. "Yeah… I feel you." Not even the brief side hug Rafe gave her before he ducked off to the showers made her feel any less defeated.
Kage had set out that morning thinking there'd just been some misunderstanding that she could fix. She'd let herself think like Kashoku, focusing on how sure she'd been that Ramirez had responded to her in the same way, and had totally fucking ignored the possibility that the problem wasn't something Kage could beat, that Ramirez wasn't suddenly shoving her as far away as she could just because the woman was overreacting. She wasn't being a giant bitch because she didn't appreciate Kage's advance – she was fucking terrified of it.
"FUCK!" Kage screamed under the muffling beat of the shower head, the tile walls echoing her mockingly. She punched the tile just once, and leaned back against the side partition as she tried to will back her frustration. Suck it up and move on, she told herself firmly, rubbing her face and tugging hard on her hair. She hit the wall again, open palmed, and took only another minute before she took a breath, shut the water off, and made herself get out. She dressed, dried her hair, and headed for the chow hall.
She'd expected no one she knew to be there, the large clock on the wall attesting that she'd missed the rush, so spotting Kashoku at a table, sitting alone for once, was a surprise. Her friend didn't look like she was really bothered by the empty spaces all around her, but Kage quickly grabbed her food and headed over anyway. "Hey," she offered as she set her tray down across from her.
"Hey!" Kashoku responded cheerfully. Her face lit up as she smiled at Kage, and for her part, Kage felt able to relax for the first time all morning as she smiled back.
It felt like it had been ages since she'd seen her best friend, both of them busy with their job and Kage always off with her team, or Rodd, or- Kage blinked, only just realizing how the tables had turned recently to where she was the one often too busy to hunt down the other. It was weird, and she vowed to do better by her best friend. Especially since it seemed her social time was about to be cut down with her Ramirez fuck-up.
"Where's the rest of the gang?" she asked as she stabbed her chicken with her fork and began to cut. She wasn't actually sure if Wells and Rodd had gotten over their Kashoku-guilt yet, but Rodd at least seemed like he was finally confident enough yesterday morning, so maybe he and Carr would be joining them.
Kashoku rolled her eyes, putting that idea to rest. "They went on a 'men's only' lunch with your guys."
Kage scoffed at the comment. "So then where's Bentley?"
Kashoku laughed. "I'll tell him you said that."
"Be my guest," she offered proudly. They fell into a comfortable silence as they ate before Kage couldn't help but mention what was on her mind. "This planet's ideals fucking suck."
Kashoku looked up from her salad in confusion. "What ideals?"
"Love." The shocked look from her friend was expected. Hell, this was a topic she hated touching with a ten-foot-poll and she certainly wasn't going to dive any further into it, but Kashoku never asked. Instead she only looked down at her food sadly.
"Yeah… I know."