Chapter 30

The Flood

"Where were you, Helga?" Phoebe asked. "Why'd it take you so long to get here?"

"Cause I didn't feel like getting to class with everyone else. Got a problem with that?!"

"No! No problem!" Phoebe said nervously.

"Oh, sorry, Phoebe. I didn't mean to yell. It's just that the world is going tragically wrong today."

"How so, Helga?"

"Well, my roof leaks, and no one cares, our school is the only school that isn't canceled because of the stupid flood-"

"How is that a bad thing?"

"Phoebe, please. Just pretend you're normal for once, and you don't like school."

"Right. Pretending!"

"Good. Anyway, then I almost drowned on the way to the bus, now I'm late for class, and to top it all off, we're all gonna die in a heap! The water's gonna rush in, and we're all gonna drowned!"

"Calm down, Helga! No one's going to drowned!"

"Phoebe, have you looked outside lately? The flood's almost ten feet high, and the rain doesn't look like it's letting up anytime soon! Soon it'll be so high that our school is completely covered, and the pressure of the water will crush the walls, and we'll all get hit in the head with bricks and be knocked unconscious, and we'll all die in a heap!"

"Actually, the pressure of pure rain water would most likely not be able to compress the solid brick and plaster walls of our educational facility."

"Huh?"

"We won't die in a heap."

"Really? Well, that's a relief."

"Okay, okay, class, settle down!" Mr. Simmons shouted above the confusion. "Curly, please don't eat the chalk. Alright. I know that you all have had very exciting and 'special' weekends-"

"You have no idea," Helga muttered under her breath.

"But now is the time to concentrate on our studies. Now, will everyone please open his or her own 'special' social studies book to page one hundred and sixty four. Stinky, would you read the first paragraph, please?"

"I reckon I could try, Mr. Simmons. Okay. Before the war with Bright Tane-"

"That's Britain."

"Oh, right. Bright Tane had ended, the c-cont-tin, the Continent Congress-"

"Continental Congress."

"Mr. Simmons, I don't think I rightly get this. How come the Continents and the Continentals are having a war that's already been ended? And why doesn't Bright Tane do something about it?"

"Stinky, um…maybe someone else had better read. Lila, would you continue to read where he left off?"

"I'm sure I'd be oh too happy to do so, Mr. Simmons," Lila said, standing up. "Ahem. The Continental Congress decided to set up a national government for the thirteen former colonies. The newly independent states had already started to write their own constitutions -"

"I really don't want to sit here and listen to your 'ever so' annoying voice, princess," Helga muttered. "Besides, I don't care what happened to the stupid British people and their lousy colonies. I've got more important things to do." With that, she tore a piece out of a sheet of paper, stuck it in her mouth, chewed it up, and shot it straight at Arnold. Direct hit.

"Cut it out, Helga!" he said, turning around.

"What?" she asked, sounding completely innocent.

Arnold sighed and turned away.

"Ahem!" Lila said, rather loudly. "But leaders believed that the country also needed a-"

"Quit it!" Arnold whispered, after being hit again.

"What are you looking at me for?" Helga spat back.

"Would some people," Lila shouted, looking at Helga, "kindly keep it down?" She sighed in frustration and tried to read once more. "Then all thirteen states could act together-"

"Mr. Simmons?" Eugene suddenly asked.

"…as a united nation so-"

"Mr. Simmons?"

"…that they could rule and conquer over-"

"Excuse me, Mr. Simmons?"

"Yes! Eugene, what is it?"

"My feet are wet."

"Okay, Eugene, thank you for that 'special' comment. Lila, you may continue."

"But, Mr. Simmons!"

"WHAT?!"
"Um…never mind," Eugene said nervously. Instead he leaned over to Sid and whispered, "Really, my feet are wet."

"Boy howdy! My feet are wet too! Hey, Stinky! Are your feet wet?"

"I reckon they are, Sid. What about you, Harold? Are your feet damp as well?"

"No, but they're really, really wet!"

Within five minuets the entire class had lost interest in the lesson and was excitedly talking amongst themselves about the growing puddle of water on the floor.

"Then in 1774, George Washington issued…WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP?!"

Everyone gaped at Lila in astonishment.

"Wilikers, Sid. I reckon I've never seen Miss Lila have any outbursts before."

"I know. And she said 'shut up'. Doesn't she usually say 'please be ever so quiet' or something like that?"

"Yep."

"I-I mean, could you all please be ever so quiet so that I may continue to read our oh to interesting history lesson?"

"Told ya."

"Awe, pipe down, Little Miss Perfect!" Helga shouted above the confusion. "Can't you see that the classroom's being flooded?"

"Oh! Oh, my stars! You're absolutely right, Helga!" Mr. Simmons cried, standing up. "We must all move to higher ground."

"Wow, it took him long enough to catch on," Helga muttered, as she stood up. "Alright, people, listen up! We'll make a pile of desks up to the heating vent, and then we'll all crawl to the roof of the building and-"

"Um, Helga?" Eugene asked.

"What?!"
"Why don't we just use the door?" he said, as he opened it up. Immediately the entire classroom was covered in three feet high water.

"That's why not."

"Oh."

"Okay, the door's open anyhow, so we might as well use it. Come on, you slobs! Let's get to the classroom on the top floor!"

The class more or less ran out of the classroom and into the hall, kicking and screaming as they went. Suddenly, the front doors of the school blew open from a gust of wind, and an enormous wave of water rushed in.

"Close the door, ya morons!"

Half the class rushed over to the door and managed to pull it shut again. The water was now about four feet high.

"Come on, people, we have to move!" Helga cried, as she attempted to direct everyone to the stairs. "What, do you all want to drown?"

"We're gonna drowned?" Harold asked, confused.

"Harold, incase you haven't already noticed this, people can not breath under water!"

"Really? I always thought that was just a myth."

"Well, it's not, you idiot! If you all don't get up there, then you're gonna die! Got it?!"

"Oh…" Harold said, finally realizing the seriousness of the situation. "Ahhh! Help me! Mommy!" he screamed, as he dashed up the staircase. The rest of the class ran after him.