Chapter 34

Died and Gone to Heaven

"Stupid sun," Helga thought, without bothering to open her eyes. "I wish it would stop shining on me. It feels like it's a hundred degrees." Suddenly, a thought struck her. "What if we already drowned? What if I'm dead? What if I didn't go to Heaven? Maybe that's why I feel like I'm boiling. Criminy! I should have been nicer to Arnold. But it was just to cover up my feelings! It was all for a good cause! This isn't fair."

She slowly opened her eyes. She was blinded for a second by the bright sunlight. She quickly got used to the sun and stared straight ahead. She gasped.

Water.

That was all she could see. Clear, blue water, stretching out to the horizon.

"Never mind," she thought. "This is Heaven after all. Just a bunch of water. Just the ocean. Nice and peaceful. I'll just stay here for all eternity." She closed her eyes again. "Wait a minute! If we all drowned, then Arnold must be here too! I've got to find him! We're dead anyway. I have an eternity to spend with him. He might as well know my secret. I've waited long enough as is. Besides, this is Heaven. I'm supposed to be completely happy, right? And there's no way I can be happy without him. Okay, that's it. I'm going to find him right now."

She slowly sat up.

"Weird. Why a stupid wooden raft? I kind of expected a cloud or something. No bother. I don't care about the scenery. I just care about Arnold. Now to find him."

She turned around.

"Wow. That was fast." She sighed lovingly. "He's so cute when he sleeps."

Arnold was coming to. He sat up, facing away from her. "Man, what a night!" he said, as he opened his eyes. "Uh oh." He glanced around. Water as far as the eye could see. "This can't be good."

He remembered the reason he was here in the first place.

"Helga!" he thought. "Uh oh. What if she didn't live? What if I was so tired I only thought I saw her breathing? What if she's lying there, right now, dead? I couldn't live with myself! Oh, why was I so stupid? Why didn't I check to make sure she was truly alive? What if she wasn't dead yet, but she was suffocating, and I didn't do anything? I could have saved her! Oh, it's all my fault!" He slowly turned around, expecting the worst.

"Helga!" he exclaimed. "You're alive!"

Without thinking why, he leaned over and hugged her tightly. He waited for her to shove him away, but she just hugged him back.

"Wow. I guess she's just happy that I saved her life. I'm glad. Maybe she'll actually be nice for once."

"I was right," Helga thought dreamily, enjoying every second of Arnold's embrace, "this is Heaven. Wait a minute. Did he say I was alive? Does he not know what happened? Does he not know where we are? Hmm…I guess I'll have to tell him myself."

"Arnold, I have to tell you something," she said out loud.

"Oh, that's right!" he said, letting go of her. "That thing you were gonna tell me yesterday."

"Well…that too. But there's something you have to know first. Do you um, remember what happened yesterday?"

"Of course. There was a flood. The school was flooding. We only had a few minutes left to live. Then you and Lila got in some sort of fight. You were trying to tell me something, and she wouldn't let you. She pushed you, and you fell out the window."

"Oh, yeah!" Helga exclaimed. "Lila killed me! Of all the rotten luck."

"Killed you? What are you talking about?"

"That's what I'm trying to tell you. Arnold…we're in Heaven."

"I wouldn't really call being stranded on a raft Heaven."

"No, really. Heaven. As in, we're dead. We drowned, remember?"

"No, we didn't!"

"Yes, we did! Lila pushed me out the window. Everything went black. The next thing you know, I'm here. I'm in the middle of the ocean. I'm peacefully drifting in the middle of nowhere. Everything's perfect. It must be Heaven."

"No! You've got it all wrong. This isn't Heaven. We're not dead. You just don't know what happened."

"Arnold, stop being in denial."

"Helga, I'm serious. We're not dead, and this is not Heaven. I mean, if this was Heaven, do you really think you'd be with me? I would think your perfect world would be miles away from me."

"Um…actually…"

"Really, Helga. You didn't drown. I thought you did, but you didn't. You fell into the water-"

"I didn't fall. I was pushed."

"You can't blame Lila for that. She was just angry is all. I'm sure she didn't mean for you to actually fall."

"I don't get it, Arnold. I just don't get it. All this, and you still don't see what she's really like. Arnold, she murdered me for cryin' out loud!"

"She didn't murder you! You didn't die!"

"Then why are we here? How do you explain all this?" she asked, gesturing to the ocean.

"After you fell in the water, I jumped in and saved you."

"W-what?"

"I saved you! It was hard too. It took forever to find you. I thought I was too late. I thought I was going to drowned. But I found you. I found you and put you on this raft. Then I guess I fell asleep. Now we're here."

"Oh. So we didn't die."

"No, of course not," he said smiling.