Chapter 36

Where are we?

"Um…yeah. So, where were we again?" Helga said.

"You were talking about what happened when we were on the show."

"NO! I-I mean…where are we are we. Like, in the world?"

"Well, since we don't know what direction the beach is in, it's safe to assume that we either floated down the street to the left, right, or front, so-"

"So, we could be just about anywhere.
"Well…yeah."

"Oh, this is great. Just great."

"We live in Washington-"

"Way to state the obvious.

Arnold glared at her. "So the closest ocean would be the Pacific.

"Atlantic."

"How could it be the Atlantic? That's on the other side of the United States!"

"Maybe we floated around Canada." Helga knew perfectly well that Arnold was right, but she could never surpass a chance to argue with him.

"But wouldn't we have to go through the Artic Ocean to do that?"

"How should I know? Maybe we went through the Panama Canal."

"How long would that take?"

"Criminy, Arnold, what do you think I am, an encyclopedia?!" she snapped at him.

"Sorry. Look, I really don't want to start fighting with you. Can we just say we're in the Pacific Ocean?"

"We could just as easily say we're in the Atlantic."

"Yeah, but what if it takes years to get to the Panama Canal?"

"If it did, they wouldn't have invented it."

"Still, we're in the Pacific."

"Atlantic."

"Pacific."

"Atlantic!"

"Pacific!"

"Atlantic!"

"Pacific!"

"Pacific!"

"Atlantic!"

"Pacific!"

"Indian!"

"Indian?"

"It could happen."

"Oh, sure. And microscopic aliens could be building an advanced civilization inside my nose," Helga said, as she rolled her eyes.

"Hey, at least I'm trying to think of something."

"You're not trying anything! You're sitting on a stupid raft, in the middle of absolutely nowhere, making up solutions that aren't even going to work!"

"How come you always have to be so mean, Helga? Can't you just try to be nice for once in your life?"

"Let's not start that again! I'm having the worst day of my entire life! I'm stranded on a raft, in the middle of the ocean, with a dopey football head!"

"If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be alive, remember?"

"Oh, what, now I'm supposed to act all nice and sweet to you, like you're my hero or something?!"

"No, but you could at least stop yelling at me!"

"I'm not yelling!" she screamed.

"Yes, you are!"

"Well, you would be too if you were stuck in the ocean with your arch nemesis!"

"What, and you think I enjoy having you as company? Believe it or not, you're not exactly my favorite person either. In fact, I'd rather be stuck out here with practically anyone, other than you! Especially Lila-"

"Don't you dare bring her into this, football head!" she screamed, close to tears.

"Why not? What do you have against her anyway?"

"Everything!"

"You know, if you can't say something nice, you shouldn't say anything at all!"

"Fine! I won't! I'll never say another word to you again! Goodbye!" With that, she turned around, folded her arms, and stared out at the

sunset. She reached into her pocket and pulled out one of her many poetry books and her purple pen. The book was almost identical to the one Arnold had, but the cover was a slightly different shade of pink. She opened it up, and began to write.