Sooo, here's the first chapter in Jace's diary. There are a few things that I'd like to say. I was a little bit dissappointed at the number of reviews so could I get some *cutelookingface. Anyway, I'm not going to force you by threatening not to write anymore (I hate writers who do that) but some reviews are always nice. There's also another story I'm currently working on that I updated today. The one that hits the most new reviews on Wednesday will be the one I'll update than. The other one will have to wait (probably just till the weekend, but anywayyyy). Enjoy!

How do I start a freaking journal? Most people start by the date, but I already told you I wouldn't do that, or they start with apologizing for their handwriting, but that isn't necessary in my case. I know I have a really nice handwriting, everyone agrees on that.

So what do I DO start with? I already told you guys the random facts about me and my bandmates, so it's not like I will tell that again, I don't like repeating myself. Whatever.

I also can't start by telling you why I am doing this, scince I also explained that before, and like I said: I don't like repeating myself. How weird is it to repeat that you don't like repeating yourself?

Maybe I should start by telling you guys about my day, like that all of you can imagine what it's like to be a popstar. I woke up in my bed (alone, although you'll probably see in the magazines I took some random blonde home with me. Now you guys know I didn't) at 7 o'clock.

I'm someone who likes to be up at the crack of down, even when it's weekend. For some stupid reason people think you can't like the morning AND the evening. Sorry guys, but I'm living proof that you can be both. But I've always been extraordinary. It's not because I like to stay up late that I can't get out of bed in the morning. I just don't like to sleep.

My mom (Celine) was insomniac before she killed herself. I never got quite why she did it, some people say she hadn't slept in days and others said it was because my dad was cheating on her.

As soon as my mother died my dad dissappeared, for both of them I wasn't enough to stay around. This all happened when I was about ten. Most people start acting awkward around me when I tell them my mom committed suicide and my dad left me, but because I will probably never meet any of you, really meet you, you won't start feeling sorry for me or – personally I think this is even worse - apologizing. I hate it when people do that. It's not like any of you had anything to do with the dead of my mom and it's also not your fault my dad left me.

My mom was – it probably doesn't make me seem good when I say this – weak. I know, I know, nothing bad about the dead, but if she had a sleeping problem she could have gotten help. If it was because my dad cheated on her, he's an asshole but I don't think that's a reason to end your life. Not when you have a son who needs you. But I don't hate my mom, nor blame her. Not everyone is able to just get over things and deal with them.

The only one I used to be mad at was my dad. He just dissappeared without a reason, and he knew that he would leave me all alone. He just didn't care, when I was ten that hurt really bad and I wasn't able to open up to anyone for a long time.

I was lucky to have the Lightwoods, they helped me. It was Isabelle actually who helped me through it. Everyone else was tiptoeing around me and I got anything I wanted. I enjoyed the attention 'cause it made me feel better, my dad had left me so it was nice to know there was someone else who did care about me.

But Izzy was only nine then and she didn't like that she wasn't her parents' angel anymore. Before I had arrived she got almost all the attention. Alec just didn't want it, she on the other hand needed it. And they were both fine with the amount of attention they got. And then I showed up and messed up everything. Izzy and I would always fight and her parents would always blame her, they never were mad at me if I did something wrong back then. I used to scream they weren't my real parents so they couldn't tell me what to do. I guess they hoped that if they were nice and let me do anything I wanted, I would start treating them as my own parents. That didn't really work. I just became a brat. And like I said, Izzy didn't handle well that she didn't get all the attention anymore, that I was being spoiled rotten while she wasn't didn't make it any better.

So one night she just started shouting at me about how weak I was. That of course it sucked that my dad didn't care enough about me to stay, but that it wasn't fair that I messed up her life that badly, or that I was such an asshole. I don't know why but I just started crying then, I don't know why but Izzy softened up then. Maybe she was just scared that her parents would be mad at her and punish her. Anyway she told me that she shouldn't have screamed like that and then she told me that she did mean what she said before, but that she forgot to tell me something. She said (and I quote literally): "Of course it sucks that your dad didn't care, but if he didn't, then why should you?" And there the girl said the words that kind of changed my life. She was right. I'd never expected the little nine years old girl to speak such wise words. If he didn't care, I also didn't have to.

But why did I even start telling this. O right, the "I'm sorry"-thing makes me feel like I'm someone they need to feel bad for, which I'm not. I'm a famous popstar and the Lightwoods are great. Maryse and Robert took me in when I was ten, right after all the family problems I had with my own family. I like to refer to them as just problems, that's less to write for me and how awkward would my diary be if I brought my mom's suicide and my dad's run up every five sentences? O, damn, now I did it anyway. However.

The Lightwoods took me in and despite being a brat at first I had a perfect life. I went to school now (I'd been homeschooled before that) and I immediately became one of the popular boys. Not hard to do if you have a body like mine. And that's when I met Jordan and Jonathan. They were best friends and Jon used to be the school's heartthrob. And boy, he wasn't happy that I had becomen the new one. The first thing he ever said to me was: "I hope you can charm the girls with a broken nose, pretty boy. 'Cause if you can't, I'm gonna get them." Being Jace, I responded by trying to break his nose first. I didn't succeed but he did get a bloody nose. He punched me back but missed my nose and gave me a black eye. Yeah, the principal wasn't happy to hear I had started a fight on my first day in this school. He said he could suspend us both for what we did, but lucky for both of us he'd gotten used to Jon fighting to protect his sister so he assumed it was the same now. Yeah, I'd never seen his sister before so I would have no idea why he would protect her, or against who he would protect her… But hey, you didn't hear me complain.

So the principal only gave us detention and told us to "bond with each other". We both went to detention thinking: "Yeah, no way I'm going to bond with that asshole." But we ended up doing it anyway, why? No idea. Probably because we were so much alike and shared the same problems but also the same dream: being in a band. So during detention we made plans to start the band.

I told Jon I could play the guitar and sing, that Alec could play the drums amazingly and that Isabelle could play the piano. So Jon told me that he could also play the guitar and that Jordan wasn't a really great musician but that he could sing a little bit. And that was everything we needed to know about each other for that moment.

In school we spent any free time we had together to make plans for our band. I still can't remember who decided to name our band "The Mortal Instruments" and made our logo a cup, a sword and a mirror/lake thing (no one really knows what it is). Maybe we did it all together, maybe my memory just doesn't like to remember things in which I don't get a starring role.

Anyway, a week or so after that we had our first band practice and we met up at Jon's house. And that's when I met her. Beautiful Clarissa Morgenstern (or Clary Fray as she likes to be called now). Jon's sister and Izzy's best friend. But so, so beautiful. And this may seem weird to you, but I hadn't ever called a girl beautiful, and before meeting Clary, I wasn't planning on doing so either. Maybe I'd ever called my mom beautiful, but that doesn't count. No, I'd never called a girl beautiful.

Of course I'd say a girl was hot, but I think there's a difference between beautiful and hot. A girl who I think is hot, is a girl that knows how to use make up, that knows how to dress to get attention,… A girl that knew how to hide all her imperfections just fine, making it seem like she had none. But that wasn't true, you could see if a girl has acne, even when she wears foundation, you can see where she has something she likes to hide, being hot is the same as being good at pretending to me. I used to date a lot of "hot" chicks before I became famous, and they were all the same. They needed three hours to get ready, but when the make up wore of, they were all the same. Just boring girls that tried to look better by painting there face with an inch of make up. They had nice features, of course. But they tried to hard to attract attention.

Being beautiful is something completely different. Being beautiul is looking good without make up or dressing up. If you're beautiful you don't need all those things. Of course I don't mean you have to look like a girl with make up, even when you aren't wearing any… I mean you don't push it to hard, the only way a girl can be beautiful to me is if she doesn't know it, but doesn't want to change. A girl that is perfectly fine with how she looks, but that doesn't know she looks amazing. I never thought I would find someone like that. But like I said: then came Clarissa Morgenstern.

I knew I couldn't risk letting Jon know I was into her, I had heard the principal when he said that Jon punched students who just dared to look the wrong way at his baby sister. Not that she was such a baby, she had the same age as Izzy, but she was short. As in really short. She must have been five inches smaller than me, even than. Now I've gotten even bigger and I don't think she has grown even the slightest bit. But whatever, that didn't change anything about how beautiful she is.

It's not like I don't understand Jon for not letting me date her. He's much like me, he treats girls the same way and doesn't plan on setteling down with only one girl. So he probably assumed I wasn't planning on doing that either, and I can't blame him: he's probably right anyway. But that doesn't change how turned on Clary gets me.

Review?