Chapter 55

Internal Conflict

"I can't believe we're actually going home!" Arnold thought to himself. "I was really starting to think that I was going to spend the rest of my life in that cave. It's a good think they came when they did. I don't know what Helga would have ended up doing if they didn't. I still don't know what she'll do. But no, she wouldn't do anything drastic with these guys here…would she? I mean, I know she loves me, but-" He stopped himself, realizing what he had just said for the first time. "She loves me," he thought to himself in amazement. "Helga G. Pataki loves me. Wow. I guess it kind of makes sense. She is always helping me. And she's been nice to me…when no one else is around. It all sort of fits together now. All the mean things she's ever done she just did to hide her secret. She just did it out of…love." He looked at her, trying to figure out what she was thinking, but she was staring at the ground and didn't notice.

"I should say something to her," he continued to think. "I can't go on forever, not speaking to her. But what do you say to a girl who's kissed you three times in one day?!"

"One time," a little voice in the back of his head corrected him. "She kissed you one time. You kissed her twice."

"Shut up."

"You did," it taunted him.

"Okay, yeah, I did, but so what? It doesn't mean anything. Besides, I had to do it! I mean, that noise could have been something really dangerous, and if she didn't stop screaming, we could have been killed! I had to make her be quiet! It was just really extreme, so I did the first thing that popped into my mind. It's not like I wanted to do it. But drastic times call for drastic measures."

"Oh, is that what you call it," the voice continued.

"I thought I told you to shut up! And anyway, it worked, didn't it?"

"Maybe a little too well."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know."

"What, that she kissed me back?"

"There you go!"

"Please, don't remind me. I honestly didn't think that she would."

"Yeah, right. You knew very well she would. She just told you that she loved you! What did you think she would do?"

"I don't know. I was just going to do it fast. Just enough to shock her; to get her quiet. Nothing more. Nothing romantic. But she…didn't let me."

"Why didn't you just pull away? You're stronger. You could have."

"No, I couldn't! She was holding me too tight! I couldn't move! I couldn't breath! I couldn't even think straight! The only thing I could do was play along."

"You mean kissing her back?"

"Well…maybe. I-I don't remember. Okay, yeah, I guess I did. But not like she did! She went wild! There was so much passion and energy…I didn't know a fourth grader could do something like that! It was…amazing."

"Amazing? You don't say."

"Yeah. In a kind of scary way."

"If it was so scary, why'd you kiss her back?"

"Because…I don't know. I was too caught up in the heat of the moment. I mean, think about it. I was trapped in a dark cave, probably about to die, with a beautiful girl in my arms who's kissing me like nothing I've ever felt before. Everything just sort of added together, and I had to give in to…did I just call Helga beautiful?"

"That's what I heard."

"But why would I think that?"

"Maybe you love her."

"What?! Are you crazy?! How could I love Helga?!"
"You've gotta admit, that's what it's sounding like."

"I can't believe I'm talking about this."

"You started it!"

"No, I didn't! Why am I talking to myself anyway? Isn't that the first sign of going crazy?"

"Yeah. Crazy in love."

"Stop saying that!"

"If you don't love her, then what do you think of her?"

"I-I…I don't know. I-I've got to stop thinking about her. I've got to just stop thinking about her. Think of anything but Helga. Okay, the sky is blue. I can do better than that. We're going home. Brainy found us, and now we're going home. Wait, if Brainy found us, then he obviously survived the flood. Does that mean everyone else did too? And if they did, does that mean Lila too? Is she okay? Will she be waiting for me? Has she been worried? Has she missed me? Do I care?"