Chapter 64
Rumors
"Good morning, class!" Mr. Simmons suddenly cried, stepping into the room. "It's so wonderful to see all of your bright and chipper faces on this wonderful d-Helga! Oh, my stars, what are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same question," Helga retorted.
"Oh, me? Well, I took your advice and climbed through the ventilation system to the roof. And the children apparently followed Arnold's advice of climbing up a jump rope that some troublemaker tied to the roof."
"Oh," Helga said, uninterested.
"Well, we're all fine, but what about you? How on earth did you manage to survive?"
By this time everyone was in the room except for Harold, Brainy, and Arnold.
"Yeah, how'd you make?"
"I thought you drowned!"
Helga sighed. "Look, you morons, we floated on a raft to an island, and then some people rescued us. No big deal."
"We? You mean Arnold was with you?"
As if on cue, Arnold suddenly walked through the door.
"Howdy, Arnold! We were just talkin' about you!" Stinky exclaimed.
"Hey, Stinky! Hey, everyone!" Arnold said.
"Arnold! You're alive!"
"You and Helga both made it!"
Arnold glanced at Helga, but she was 'reading' a book, pretending to be completely oblivious to what was going on.
"Yeah, we did," Arnold said, still looking at her. "Barley though."
"Really?"
"What happened?"
Everyone crowded around him and started asking questions.
"Where'd you go?"
"How'd you get there?"
"Did you starve?"
"Did Helga try to kill you?"
"Are you mad at Lila for pushing Helga?"
"Where'd you sleep?"
"Did you sleep together?"
"Ooh!"
Suddenly, Harold burst through the door. "Sorry I'm late, Mr. Simmons; I was busy eatin-Arnold? Helga? Hey, you guys are supposed to be dead! Awe, by brain hurts!"
Everyone except for Arnold, Helga, and Mr. Simmons turned to him.
"Shut up!"
"Madam Fortress Mommy!"
"We're listening to Arnold!"
"Yeah! Lila was starving-"
"And then she slept with something-"
"And Helga was mad that the thing pushed Arnold-"
"So she killed a chicken!"
This last remark came, or course, from Curly.
"Chicken?" Harold repeated. "I want some chicken! I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!"
"The chicken was a horse?"
"I thought the chicken was dead!"
"Yeah! Helga killed the chicken!"
"Or was it a horse?"
"Did she kill it so they wouldn't starve?"
"I want a chicken!"
"Did Lila eat the horse?"
"No, Helga killed the chicken!"
"Then who ate the chicken?"
"It was a horse!"
"But who ate it?"
"Arnold ate the chicken!"
"The one that Helga killed?"
"Yeah! Helga killed a chicken and gave it to Arnold!"
"Why would Helga give Arnold a chicken?"
"Or a horse?"
"Who knows? Maybe she likes him!"
"Yeah! So she gave him a chicken so he wouldn't starve!"
"Helga likes Arnold?!"
"Yeah!"
"So this is how rumors get started," Helga thought.
"Is it true, Arnold?"
"Yeah, did Helga give you a chicken?"
"No, not that! Is it true that she likes you?"
Helga put her head on her desk, wishing that the earth would swallow her whole.
"Yeah! Does she?"
Everyone was looking at Arnold in anticipation.
"Um…" He glanced at Helga and then back to them. He knew he couldn't tell. She'd trusted him with the biggest secret in her life, and he couldn't let her down. He'd done that enough already.
"Okay, we're not gonna get anything out of him," Sid said, once it was clear that Arnold wasn't going to respond.
"Why don't we just ask Helga?"
"Oh, yeah! Why didn't I think of that?"
"Cause you're a moron!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Shut up!"
"Hey, Helga!" Sid shouted, "Do you like Arnold?"
The room was suddenly very quiet.
"Yes, Helga! Do tell! Is there something ever so important that you've been keeping from us for an ever so long time?" Lila asked sweetly.
"Can it, Princess," Helga said harshly.
"That must mean she does like him!"
"Otherwise, she would have denied it!"
"Arnold and Helga?!" Rhonda exclaimed. "How can that be? They're complete opposites! They hate each other!"
"Well, it is a scientifically proven fact that opposites attract."
"Phoebe!" Helga shouted in dismay.
"I reckon that should mean that Arnold likes her too!"
"Yeah! It does!"
"No, he doesn't! There's no way he could like Helga," Gerald immediately said.
Arnold just glared at him.
"So, Arnold, do you like Helga back?"
"Not again," Helga thought. "I don't want to hear him say it again."
"Well, I…"