Chapter Two

Night has fallen and it was decided about thirty minutes ago that we would stop for the night as so the fellowship could rest up for the upcoming day of travels. Being an elf I do not need rest like the others acquire. However, having the opportunity to sit down against an oak tree is appreciated. All day my mind was plagued with thoughts of Aragorn and Boromir, but a joyful and curious hobbit named Pippin was a welcomed distraction for the most part. I haven't known the Halfling for very long, but already I can feel a bond forming. He has somehow squirmed his way into my heart, even if unknowingly, and has become a friend whom I know I will cherish for all my days.

I have successfully managed to avoid Aragorn at all costs and haven't even allowed myself the privilege of even a glance in his direction for I know in the end it would just add to my misery. There is no doubt in my mind that he has noticed my behavior, though, for every so often I could feel his eyes on my form. There is an awkward tension in the air between us that I know he is confused about, I am just thankful he hasn't confronted me on it. I don't want to give away the fact that I heard his and Boromir's secret conversation the past night, I would much rather ignore it and stay at a great distance from both mortals, it is better for all of us I believe.

I cannot deny that I feel as though I am dying inside, however, and am now regretting the fact that I ever volunteered to take this quest upon my shoulders. On some level I feel honored to be here and I wish to protect those that I have befriended, but in the same instance it is killing me to be near Aragorn. I know this is something I will have to find a way to deal with for I refuse to back out now, but I also wish that this could somehow be easier. I wish I didn't love Aragorn as much as I do, I wish I didn't have to hurt so much. Haldir warned me about falling in love with a mortal, said it was a dangerous path, but at the time I had refused to listen to him. Now I wish I hadn't been so foolish! How could I ever have thought that Aragorn could love me? Besides, I am an elf and he is a mortal... a relationship would never have worked out. He is better off with Boromir and I have come to accept my fate. I know I will never love another for I have eternally given my heart to Aragorn and in turn this love I bear will be my demise. I never once considered that something so beautiful as falling in love would be my downfall. To say that I have known what love feels like though, the bad and good, then I will be ready to leave Middle Earth when the time arises and I hope to do so with a smile upon my face.

Deciding quite abruptly that I would enjoy some time alone, I push away from the tree and gracefully climb to my feet. My actions, though almost soundlessly, catches the attention of my companions and they stare at me in question. I lightly inform them that I would insist upon some time to myself before slowly making my way through the trees within my path. Gandalf commands that I not wander too far away from camp in case of an attack and I nod my head in a silent reply. Without another glance back though, I continue my walk through the forest and allow it to put my mind a little at ease, at least as much as possible anyway.

The gentle sway of the tree branches and the soft ruffle of leaves caused by the wind comforts me somewhat, relaxing my surprisingly tense body. I continue my slow stride through the forest and come across a fallen tree. Sitting upon the fallen trunk I allow myself to close my eyes, a long sigh escaping me. This is going to be a long journey and we have barely crossed enough ground, I wonder how I will manage within the company of the one I love and the one he loves. It seems almost unbearable, and perhaps it is, but I must keep moving forward. I will do my part for the fellowship and try not to let my heartache show, I am sure it won't be too difficult.

"Legolas, I wish to speak with you a moment if you not mind." Aragorn's voice is suddenly heard from in front of me and I open my eyes quickly to see him looking warily at me.

"You may speak, though I was hoping for some time to myself."

"I was aware of that, and usually I would respect your wishes fair elf, but I am also aware of the tension between us and it confuses me greatly. Have I done something to offend you Legolas?" He asks softly and I feel slightly guilty for he looks so lost, but I am also feeling quite depressed at the moment as well.

"Nay, you have not offended me Aragorn... I have simply come to realize something I suppose I had always wished to ignore."

"I know naught of what you speak about Legolas, could you please explain it to me?"

"Aragorn, you are aware of how deep my feelings run for you, you understand that I have loved you for a great deal of time now." When he nods his head I decide to continue; just wanting to get this all over with. "I guess I somehow lead myself to believe that one day you would return my feelings and I realize now how foolish that was."

"Legolas, I..."

I don't allow him to finish, however, there is something I need to get out in the open and I intend to do so... it might make this quest a little easier if even just by a fraction. "Sometimes the one you fall for isn't ready to catch you and I believed that within time you would grow to love me; you would catch me before I hit the ground. I was foolish for believing such a thing for I know you have given your heart to another."

He looks up in surprise when he hears those particular words leave my lips and I smile somewhat morosely at him. "You... you know of me and Boromir? But how... I mean, we were so secretive about it."

"I am an elf Aragorn, it didn't take me long to figure it out."

"Legolas you mustn't..."

"My realization won't reach another's ears mellon-nin; your secret is safe with me. I just hope you are truly happy with Boromir and I wish you all the luck the world has to offer."

"But what about you?" He asks in concern.

"'Tis not your place to worry about me, I will be fine. It hurts, I won't deny that, but I truly am glad you found your soul mate Estel." I say softly, reverting back to his childhood name and he seems pleased to hear it.

"I apologize for causing you such undeserved pain Legolas, but please know that I never would have wanted this to happen to you. What could I possibly do to help you?" He asks desperately.

There is no way you will possibly consider leaving Boromir so 'tis useless, there is nothing you can do for me Aragorn so don't burden yourself with a hopeless task. Nothing you could do or say would stop yourself from breaking my heart and I believe we both know this, I think sadly to myself before raising my head to meet Aragorn's gaze. "There is nothing you can do for me mellon-nin, no matter how badly you may want to... I am beyond help at this point." I say soothingly as to soften the harsh words, though his face falls the instant these words leave my lips.

"I am so sorry Legolas." He apologizes in what sounds to be a broken tone of voice.

"Would you please grant me some time alone now, I won't be gone for long." I request softly.

"I know not if I should leave you alone." He protests with an expression of hesitance gracing his handsome features.

"Leave me be Aragorn. Honestly, I will be alright. I will be back at camp before you know it." I say with a laugh and soon that hesitance leaves his face.

"Hannon le, mellon-nin." He responds in elvish before making his way through the trees.

As soon as he is out of sight I allow my false happiness to slide from my features and almost instantly tears fill my eyes, but I refuse to let them pass through my barriers. I must be strong, I am a warrior, after all... it shouldn't be this hard to keep tears at bay and behind the eyelids where they belong. My heart, however, is in great pain and I know of naught that can put it at ease. I don't see how I could ever let Aragorn go, but I did give him and Boromir my blessing and that was hard enough. I meant what I said, though; I truly do hope he has found true happiness with Boromir. I love Aragorn and wish him all the happiness the world has to offer, if Boromir brings him happiness than perhaps he is better off with him than with me.

I know he worries about me for he knows an elf can die of a broken heart, but I wish not for his concern... it is unneeded. I believe he is aware of how deeply my feelings run now, he knows it is no mere crush that inhabits my entire being, and I can see that this scares him. He may not love me in return, but he does not wish for me to die for him because of it. He tries not to show how worried he truly is, but I can see clearly past the mask into the depths of his soul... he is concerned. That is why I must do everything in my power to not be so weak during this journey; I cannot allow him to see my slowly dimming light and breaking heart. He must be blind to it, things would be best that way. I wish no guilt or pain upon him and don't want him to helplessly watch me die right before his eyes... I know he would carry it with him for the rest of his days. No it would be easier on both of us if I kept it a secret.

And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine
Don't worry 'bout this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road
There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when ya go

TBC...

Elvin Translations:

Mellon-nin... My friend
Hannon le, mellon-nin... Thank you, my friend

Lyrics:

Leave the Pieces - The Wreckers