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Chapter 7

The atmosphere between them was different as they walked back to the car, and Vala felt even happier than she had the past two weeks put together. Was that even possible? Of course it was. He loves me!

Daniel loved her.

After a moment of walking she felt a slight, cold touch to her hand. When she glanced his way she just caught him pulling his hand away from hers, as if he had changed his mind about something. Somehow she understood that he was worried about the cold, worried about his body temperature affecting her when it was already chilly enough outside.

Vala swallowed and slowly reached for his hand as they walked. It twitched in surprise when she took it, but he didn't pull away. After another moment or so she gently worked her fingers between his and tightened her grip. She felt his hold grow tighter too, more comfortable, and she smiled to herself.

When she ventured another glance at Daniel he was smiling too, but she looked away sheepishly when he caught her looking. Another minute passed, and she looked again. This time he was looking at the same moment, and they both grinned. There was only a block to go, and they both slowed instinctively as Vala moved closer, until their arms were touching.

This was what she had wanted on the short walk here.

This was what she had always wanted.

The drive back was made in companionable silence, and Vala wondered if that had ever happened before. Had she and Daniel ever been anywhere alone, with no tension in silence? It hadn't seemed possible before.

Vala was going to ask if they could just walk back to the rock in the woods, but when he turned his back to let her get on, she remembered that maybe he needed to get away sooner than that. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable, push his self-control, so she jumped on without a word.

This time Vala closed her eyes and rested her head against Daniel's back as he ran, enjoying the smooth movement and the rush of air over her arms and legs. She didn't even notice the cold anymore; she was too happy to care, and was disappointed again when he set her down beside the rock.

Daniel turned to face her, and must have noticed her just opening her eyes in surprise. "Were you about to go to sleep back there?" he teased lightly.

"No," she retorted. "I was just enjoying the ride. It's very soothing, actually—especially with your eyes closed."

He started to shrug, but seemed to remember something and winced instead. "I wouldn't know. The only time I was carried like that I had just been bitten and I wasn't really paying that much attention…" He trailed off as if he'd said too much, and Vala gazed at him curiously.

"Did it hurt?" she asked quietly. "When you were changing?"

He tried to hide the shudder, but it was no use. He only nodded silently, and looked away; probably because he knew she'd seen. "I have to go now. It's getting later, and I have to get the car back."

She grabbed his arm with both hands. "When will you be back?"

Daniel looked at her again now. "Will it make you happier if I tell you just one week this time?"

"Much," she grinned.

He kissed her briefly, but she didn't let go of his neck until he politely pulled her arms from around him and stepped away a few feet. Apparently that was his limit for the day.

"See you soon."

"All right," she sighed. Suddenly she felt her earlier thrill return, turning her stomach over in joyous somersaults. "I love you."

Daniel's expression softened, and the hard whiteness of his face spread into a warm glow of a smile that nearly melted her with its beauty on his perfect features.

"I love you too."

Then in the blink of an eye, he vanished again.

Cameron's hands flew up off of the foosball handles in exasperation. "Ah! Oh, come on, T, you could let me score once."

The jaffa smiled coolly and nodded once. "I could."

The colonel glanced around him once, then back at the game table. "Okay, you know what? You just keep playing like you do and all. I'll score. This is my apartment, my foosball table, and I'm gonna kick your but eventually—at something."

With Teal'c's silent smirk goading him on, the two played three more games. Teal'c won all of them.

"Perhaps you should engage in more practice, Cameron Mitchell," the jaffa suggested as they dropped onto the couch with drinks.

"Yeah, maybe if I had someone else to practice with," Cam smirked. The expression quickly faded. "Jackson was never very good…It was a lot more fun playing him…Well, I mean, it's fun playing you too, but I just mean…" I just mean I miss him.

Teal'c nodded silently, understanding the unfinished sentence.

"It is not the same," the jaffa offered as another explanation.

Cam shook his head sadly. "No…it's not the same anymore: Not team stuff, guys' nights, missions, anything." His head dropped down onto the back of the couch. "Not even us."

Teal'c was silent for a long moment. "Are you expressing these feeling now in light of Vala MalDoran's recent change in behavior?"

Cameron looked up at his friend. "What? Oh, I don't know." Silence.

"I mean, I think we're doing just fine, dealing with it, getting back into the swing of things, and then she goes and kicks it into overdrive." Teal'c just listened. "I don't blame her or anything; heck, I'm happy for her. I just can't help wondering where that leaves the rest of us."

"To follow her example," Teal'c said quietly.

"What?"

"We must follow her example, in our own way. Daniel Jackson would not wish us to lament his death for so long," Teal'c went on sadly. "It may be time that we truly accept that he has been dead for thirteen months." There were tears in the jaffa's eyes now. "We must say goodbye."

But Cameron didn't know how he could do that…when they didn't even know what had happened to him. It was what he'd been wondering for more than a year.

Daniel heard her coming before he even reached the driveway, and he knew it was because she had either heard the vehicle's engine from inside the house or known from her visions when he would be returning. He pulled off to the side of the road just short of the long driveway, and she was there a second later. Alice opened the passenger door and planted her in the seat beside him before closing it again.

"So," she grinned. "How'd it go?"

"How much do I actually have to tell you?" he smirked.

Alice held up her fingers and ticked off the things she said. "Well, I saw the running through the woods, and the kissing, and the holding hands...You two are so cute," she laughed.

Daniel was sure his face would have been red if he had blood to rush to it. "Uhm…thank you?"

She shrugged. "Anyway, just a side note: From what I did see, I could probably suggest that we start letting you out in public soon. You're doing extremely well for a relative newborn, especially when you had no preparation before you were changed."

"Good," he smiled. "Reading and ordering books online in one thing, but I'd rather spend several hours in a good old library or museum any day."

"I thought you might say that."

There was silence for a long moment.

"So is there anything you want me to tell you?" he asked eventually.

"Only if you want to, really," Alice assured him.

He thought about that. "Maybe not right now," he said quietly.

She nodded, patted his knee, and climbed out of the car. "I'll see you inside then. You know where to park the car."

Daniel nodded, his thoughts already returning to Vala as Alice shut the door again and disappeared down the driveway.

The next morning as Sam was getting off of the elevator, she caught Vala walking by in the corridor. She almost expected her friends to walk away, yet she stopped when Sam called.

"You need something?" Vala asked curiously.

Sam approached her, frowning a little. "No…not really. I just wanted to make sure you were all right."

Vala laughed as if she truly believed that were the most absurd suggestion she had ever heard. "Why wouldn't I ne all right?"

"I don't know," she blinked. "It's just that you disappeared again yesterday."

"Oh. That." Vala sighed and crossed her arms. "Sam, you don't need to worry about me." When Sam opened her mouth to protest she quickly went on. "It's hard to explain, but I think…" She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, and a thoughtful smile touched her face. "I think the mourning is over, for me. Things are different now. I know you've all noticed.

"I don't mean to push it on the rest of you, or to interfere in what you're working through." Sam almost jumped in surprised when Vala's hands came to rest comfortingly on her shoulders. "I just want you to know that I'm all right. This isn't a façade, and for once in my life, I'm telling the truth about that. I'm fine." Suddenly she hugged her. "But I'm still here for the rest of you, okay?"

Slowly Sam returned the embrace. "I…okay. Thanks."

Vala pulled back and winced, giving her a hopeful look. "I know that might not have exactly made sense, but do you understand?"

She had to laugh a little. "Not exactly. But I understand the important part—that you're all right." And she really did believe her. That revealing pain in the depths of her expression that usually gave away her lies was absent today, and it was the first time Sam had seen her without it in too long to recall.

"Really?"

"Really," Sam assured her. "I believe you, and…I think that's for the best. I'm glad you're okay." This time it was she who hugged Vala. "Eventually we'll all be all right."

She just hoped it was sooner rather than later.

Vala pulled away from Daniel's kiss to take in air, grinning, and sat back on the couch. She leaned on his shoulder, barely noticing the cold anymore—especially not through the thick blanket she was wrapped in. She still needed it when she was next to him for an extended period of time, despite the heater that was now run by a small generator he had hidden under some old tarps behind a couple of the shelves down in the cellar.

"I don't think I'll last much longer only seeing you once a week like this," she sighed. It had been about two months since their first planned meeting, and nine more times they had met in the woods for him to bring her here. Still she counted down excitedly to each meeting.

"Well what else are we supposed to do?" he asked.

"I don't know…" She snuggled closer to him, staring blankly at the flickering television screen. She had no clue what was going on in the movie that was playing. They weren't even watching it anymore. They never really did.

Daniel toyed with a lock of her hair, twisting and curling it between his fingers. She didn't see it; she only felt the slight, pleasant tug against her scalp as he did. It was something he did often now. Vala suspected that even though he wouldn't admit it, it transformation had somehow improve his mind along with the rest of his body. He seemed to be even quicker at deciphering things than before, more quick to answer even a difficult question. Perhaps with more of a mind to occupy, the absent action helped.

She liked to think he liked her hair itself too, of course.

Vala tilted her head up and kissed him again, only briefly. He had probably had enough of anything deeper for today, though she knew he would never say anything even if his thirst was getting to him. As long as he knew he was under control, he wouldn't say a word. If he was afraid of losing control, he would run away. It had only happened once, last month, when they had gotten a little too carried away. She had understood.

"Oh! I almost forgot." Grinning, she pulled a plastic-covered card from her pocket. "Look! I can drive myself here next time."

Daniel took the card and chuckled. "And of course you would have to be one to break the rules on this, too."

She snatched it back, scoffing in mock offense. "I resent that. I assure you that I did everything the correct way in getting that—or as 'correct' as it could be in my…situation."

"Oh! No no no, I didn't mean it like that," he laughed. "I was talking about your picture. Driver's license pictures are notorious for being horrible representations of their owners."

Vala glanced down at the card in her hands. "Oh? Well then." She tossed her hair back over her shoulders. "Of course I would break that rule."

Daniel just smiled and pulled her farther into his arms as she put the card away. "That's my girl."

"As long as you mean that in a purely romantic fashion."

"Of course." He let her go and reached into his own pocket. "You might need this now." He handed her a single key.

She blinked at it. "Is this to the lock you put on the cellar door?"

"I had another copy made a few weeks ago when you mentioned you would have your license soon."

Vala grinned again. "You're giving me a key to your place; this is significant."

He shifted a little, uncomfortably, and raised an eyebrow at her. "Have you been watching soap operas again?"

"No," she lied defensively.

Daniel shook his head. "Anyway, that's just in case you get here before I do—or if you just need a place to come, I guess…"

She slipped the key into her pocket with her license. "Thank you," she said, and kissed his cheek. Her mind returned unbidden to his question of a few moments ago. Well what else are we supposed to do? The cold she didn't feel on the outside crept into her chest. "Daniel…?"

"Hmm?"

"What you said…What else can we do? If no one can know about us, and we can't even, you know, because you don't want to hurt me…then why are we doing this?" They were question she had been avoiding. The love they had found after brushing each other off for so long in the past, was something too blissful to ruin with questions about the future. She had pretended to forget the questions existed, wrapping herself in the happiness of the now. She was sure he had done the same.

Vala felt him tense beside her. "What down it matter? We love each other, don't we? So why worry about it?"

"Because we love each other," she said, sitting up. "I love you too much to pretend like the future isn't comin." Suddenly she knew it was true, too.

For a while Daniel said nothing, and then he sat up too, and turned off the TV. "I know," he said quietly. A sad smile crossed his features. "I guess I was hoping it would be a little longer before you'd remember."

Vala wrapped her arms around his neck. "Don't get me wrong; I'm not letting you go, not by a long shot. I'm not that selfless," she smiled.

Daniel chuckled and stroked her hair. "It's all right. That's just you."

"You'd better believe it." She pulled closer again. "So what are we going to do?"

He shook his head slowly, and her heart sank inexplicably. "I don't know," he said quietly. "I just don't know."