Chapter Seven

I cannot stop my mind from wandering as I silently make my way back toward the fellowship. The image of what I stumbled upon mere moments ago is burned behind my eyes and I cannot help but focus solely on it. I know naught of what these feelings are within my chest and I wish not to examine them, fearing the answer. It makes no sense why I cannot ignore what I just witnessed; can't get it out of my mind. Before the fellowship set out on this journey I wouldn't have given such a sight a second thought, would have been relieved at the possibility of being rid of my admirer. But now there is an unknown emotion swimming through my veins that has left me unsettled and thoroughly upset.

When I had went in search of the elf I had not expected to find him in the arms of Haldir. In all my years of knowing Legolas I have not once seen him allow such intimacy from another, his eyes alone told me that he wished only for my touch. Yet, there he lied on the green blanket of Lothlorien; clutching tightly to a warrior elf. It was a sight to behold, an unsettling one I must admit.

The moment I laid eyes on them, at the intimacy I was invading, I was struck with an emotion so strong that couldn't be ignored. Naught could have prepared me for what I was about to witness, nor could I have known what kind of feelings it would evoke within me. I dare not wish to dwell on what feeling it was, but I can't deny that I believe it to be jealousy, either. Why would I be jealous, though? I certainly have no right to be, I have no claim over Legolas. I am in relationship as it is, Boromir is my everything and I would be lost without him. But, yet, why can't I move past seeing Legolas in the arms of another? Why can't I let this go?

Shaking my head, as though this action will banish these unwanted thoughts from my mind, I make my way out of the darkness of the trees and towards Boromir. But the thoughts come unheeded even as my lover looks up at me and smiles warmly. I smile in return the best I can, not wanting him to have knowledge of the turmoil I am facing, and take my place beside him.

Seeing as how the remaining members of the fellowship are lost within their dreams, Boromir wraps his arms around my form and I lean back into his embrace. I smile when I feel the love emitting from his intimate gesture. This is where I belong, I come to this conclusion silently.

Banishing all thoughts of Legolas to the far recesses of my mind, I turn in Boromir's arms and place my palm gently against his cheek. He looks into my eyes imploringly and I am sure the love filling my soul at this moment is being reflected for him to see. Without a moment's hesitation, I close the distance between us and take the risk of being caught when our mouths meet in a passionate display of affection.

I tilt his head slightly for better access and slowly open my mouth, not wide enough for his tongue to slip past the barrier but enough for him to get a teasing taste of me. The moan that emits from him sends a shiver down my spine and I have to pull away before things become too heated; before we draw any unwanted attention.

Resting my forehead against his, I close my eyes and breathe in the familiar scent of him that always seems to calm me. Little ease is brought to my troubled heart, however. A sense of dread has been shadowing me since the fall of Gandalf and has been steadily increasing. I know naught of where this feeling is coming from. Could it be from losing a comrade, or is there real danger in our path? I feel that doom and tragedy lay ahead. I wish to stay here and evade the fate that lurks in the future yet have no choice but to move onward.

I am brought out of my despairing thoughts when Boromir shifts and our foreheads are no longer touching. Opening my eyes, somewhat reluctantly, I see the question within the brown depths of his eyes.

"You went in search of Legolas, and yet you returned alone. Is the elf alright, my love?" Boromir asks in concern.

This question brings Legolas, and what I saw, back to the forefront of my mind and I could almost groan in frustration. And I would, if not for Boromir being in my presence. I do not know how I would explain to him the thoughts racing through my head. Surely my confession would bring forth a negative reaction.

"Legolas was in the company of Haldir and said he would return when he is ready." I reply shortly, wishing to leave this subject alone.

Boromir's eyes are alight with mischief when I turn to look upon him once more and my forehead creases with a frown to my lips. "The elf has taken to some companionship this night, has he?"

"I said company, not companionship." I respond a little too quickly, an edge to the tone of my voice that troubles me.

His eyebrows rise in surprise and he stares at me suspiciously, forcing me to look away in a mixture of shame and confusion. "He just finds it easier talking to another elf about his grief than a man, hobbit, or dwarf. Certainly you can understand." I realize that I am lying, I know naught of the reason Legolas sought out Haldir, but I cannot allow Boromir to analyze my reaction to his words.

"Aye, I can understand Aragorn," Boromir whispers, not taking his eyes off of me. "Still, 'tis good that he has someone at his side, even if just as company. It would be wonderful if he found companionship as well, though. The elf needs someone in his life to love; he knows naught of what he is missing out on."

"'Tis late, best we get some rest before dawn arrives." I say in way of avoiding the subject, though I don't miss the frown that crosses my lover's features.

Boromir nods his head after a moment and whispers, "Goodnight Aragorn," against my lips before applying pressure, kissing me tenderly before moving to lay a foot or so away from me as to not draw suspicion. I, however, let out a sigh and know sleep might not come to me so easily. My mind is still troubled and I have naught to keep it from conjuring up thoughts and images I'd rather not dwell on.

:0Ж0:

The chill of the night air causes a shiver to run down my spine as a pair of nimble fingers removes the tunic from my torso and exposes my flesh. Those fingers find their way to the skin of my chest and I unashamedly relish in the pleasure the delicious caress bestows upon me. When the fingers leave my body I whimper in disappointment but a warm, wet mouth soon takes their place and lavishes my nipple with suction and soft nips.

Feeling as though I am not returning the favor, I grasp at my lover's soft hair and yank until a long expanse of neck is revealed to my hungry eyes. Lowering my head, I place my tongue on the base of his throat and lick a long strip up to his ear, taking the lobe between my teeth to softly nibble. A low keening noise escapes my lover at the attention his ear is receiving and I lower my head once again to his neck, intent on marking him as my own for the whole of Middle Earth to see.

The love and adoration I feel in my being is all consuming, an emotion so strong such as I have never felt before. I couldn't be more in love with my precious lover and I do not care who knows it. A love this strong and true should never be hidden; kept away from other's eyes. I want everyone to know how I feel about him, and he about me. I want them to know that I have found the love of my life, I want to show him off; let others see what an amazing being he is and know that he is mine alone. If I were to lose my life tomorrow, I would leave Middle Earth secure in the fact that I have known what true love feels like; I would leave with no regrets.

I cry out in surprise and unimaginable pleasure when I am suddenly sheathed within the tight warmth of my lover's body, feeling his inner channel tightening like a lover's embrace. Before I can behold the beauty that is his face he hides it against my neck and pants against the skin found there. Lifting himself, only to lower once again on my throbbing manhood, I groan at the sensation and entangle my fingers in his fine hair.

Despite the dizzying pleasure I am receiving, I still manage to smile when I feel his lips lavishing open mouthed kisses to the flesh of my neck. He always manages to make me feel so loved and adored, something I have never had with any other lover.

Finding it awkward to thrust in this position, wanting to give my lover the best of my love, I wrap my arms around his waist and swirl him around until I have him lying on his back. He gasps in surprise and clutches at my neck until he is settled once again. Leaning up on my elbows, I stare down at the beauty beneath me and take in his disheveled, lust ridden state.

My eyes travel to the golden hair spread out on the mossy ground, moving to flushed pale skin and landing on bright crystal blue eyes.

I startle awake, the remains of the dream still dancing before my eyes, and jump into a sitting position. Wildly, I look around me at the sleeping bodies; unable to keep the distraught expression off my face. I fear that if anyone were awake they'd be able to read my thoughts upon my features; know the dark secret that I am newly forced to keep.

I am unsure what to make of the dream that plagued my unconscious mind. I feel terrible, yet oddly joyous. What could that mean? Admitting that I enjoyed the dream, what was taking place, makes me feel dirty and perverted. What could have possibly brought on such a dream? Is it some hidden fantasy that even I was unaware of? Possibly some secret desire I have been harboring, one I was unwilling to face?

I cannot begin to understand why I was dreaming of Legolas in such a way, I am unnerved by it. Is it possible that I could have feelings for the golden haired elf? I am so confused, I know naught of how I should feel right now. I feel disoriented and out of my element. I am not supposed to be dreaming about Legolas; those types of dreams should be reserved solely for my lover, for Boromir. Yet, apparently, my subconscious has another in mind. Why could that be?

I can still recall all the emotions I felt, holding Legolas in my arms, slipping inside of him, feeling such strong love flowing through my soul. I loved him. No, I was in love with him. The love I feel for Boromir doesn't even come close to the love I felt in my dream for Legolas. I am still overwhelmed by the emotions I was feeling, it all felt so real. Could I possibly feel that way in real life? If I were to be with Legolas, in reality would I love him as much as I did in my dream?

I am afraid to know the answer, afraid to give in to that feeling and possibly find out that what I feel for Boromir has dimmed during the quest and have been directed entirely towards another.

I realize and acknowledge the fact that is was but a mere dream, but I still feel as though I have betrayed Boromir. My sinful mind has betrayed my love, lusting after and possibly loving another, and I cannot forgive myself. Even if it 'twas unintentional, some part of me enjoyed the dream and wonders what it would be like in reality, and I am questioning my feelings in which at one time I was so secure in, I think to myself somberly; reluctantly facing the truth of the situation. I am undeserving of Boromir's love, I am unfaithful.

Unable to be so close to my lover with these unfaithful thoughts still so fresh on my mind, I rise to my feet and step away from the fellowship. One of the first things I notice is Legolas still isn't with us, but I don't allow myself to think too much on this. The last person I need to be thinking of is Legolas. Even thinking of the elf, though just harmless curiosity, makes me feel as though I am betraying Boromir.

Still, I have to wonder if Legolas is with Haldir, if he's been with him this whole time. What is truly between the two elves? Is Legolas simply searching out comfort from the other elf? Even so, seeing the way Haldir looked at Legolas makes me believe there are feelings there. And why shouldn't there be? Legolas is beautiful, after all, inside and out. One can be easily drawn to the Mirkwood elf, even if I hadn't been too fond of him at one point in time. I hadn't allowed myself to truly get to know Legolas, though, but now I see what an incredible being he is.

Aragorn, you must stop thinking like this! What is wrong with you? I silently scold myself.

I feel like screaming because of the thoughts running through my own head. I feel horribly guilty because of everything, I feel as though I have been unfaithful towards Boromir but I also feel that my mind has betrayed me as well.

I decide the best thing for me to do at the moment is to take a walk and try to sort out my mixed up thoughts. Taking one last look at Boromir's peaceful face, a tear falls down my cheek and I have to turn away, walking with my head lowered as I head out into the darkness.

TBC...