Chapter Eleven

I gently guide the canoe to the shore of Amon Hen and then step out onto the shore. I watch my newfound friends make their way onto the land and snicker to myself as Gimli grumbles the entire time. If I were ever in need of cheering up I would certainly turn to the dwarf, he can easily raise one's spirits. I do not speak thusly to Gimli, though I am sure the response I'd receive would be amusing.

Once the canoe is secure and in no threat of drifting away, I make my way over to a secluded area but make sure I am in sight of my companions. Aragorn politely asks Merry to collect some wood for a fire and then moves to converse quietly with Boromir. The other man is acting strangely, he seems to have his thoughts elsewhere and even Aragorn cannot break through. Unable to do anything while in the company of the Fellowship, Aragorn admits defeat and leaves his lover on his own.

I tense as he makes his way closer to where I sit but I do not move. I wish to do so yet my feet refuse to obey my mind's command. He crouches down beside me with a heavy sigh and I glance over in Boromir's direction for his reaction. He cannot be too pleased that his lover turned to me. However, Boromir seems oblivious to the whereabouts of his lover and this just rouses my suspicions.

For a moment I suspect that Aragorn is about to speak of his fears pertaining to Boromir but in the end he simply looks at me despairingly. There is also a soft expression on his face as his eyes roam over my frame, stopping on my face to stare intently into my eyes with his stormy grey ones. I could almost swear that there is longing in his gaze, but I must be mistaken for Aragorn would never look upon me in such a way. Stares of that proportion are reserved solely for lovers and lovers alone. Oh, how I wish he would look at me in longing, I think sadly, if only he could love me.

Seemingly giving up on trying to begin conversation, Aragorn stands once more and walks away. I watch as he heads to the canoes and cannot help but wonder what it would be like to reach out and embrace him; whisper in his ear of love and devotion. These are foolish thoughts, I know, for I know naught will come from them, but I find myself thinking them all the same. My heart belongs to Aragorn, whether he wants it or not, and I will always wonder what it would be like to be in Boromir's place.

Rising to my feet, I turn to the trees behind me and move forward. The cloud of dismay and imminent danger that I have been feeling all day seems to grow within my being, unsettling and putting me on edge. I fear that if we tarry here for long we will surely regret it.

I can vaguely hear Aragorn speaking to Gimli and I can hear the irritation in the dwarf's voice but my mind is sending signals to me, warning me of an oncoming threat that I cannot keep to myself anymore.

Lingering no longer, I rush to Aragorn's side, thinking solely on the warning I can feel in my bones and of nothing else. Things have been strained between the mortal and me but right now our troubles are the furthest in my mind, there are more pressing matters at the moment.

"We should leave now." I whisper these words to the man beside me so as to ensue that his ears are the only ones to hear them.

"No." Aragorn refuses immediately and I briefly wonder why this man has to be so stubborn. Can he not see that my warning is justifiable? I think irritably to myself as I listen to his reasoning. "Orcs patrol the eastern shore; we must wait for cover of darkness."

I gaze off into the trees once more, growing more and more unsettled. "'Tis not the eastern shore that worries me," I can feel Aragorn's eyes on me as I admit to the unsettling warnings I have been harboring. "A shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind… Something draws near, I can feel it."

Aragorn listens intently to my words but I am dismayed when he doesn't seem to take my words as seriously as he should. I want to scream at him, vent the frustration I can feel growing within my chest, but that would be unbecoming of an elf and I will not stoop so low. If he wishes not to heed my warning than there is naught I can do to persuade him, he is our leader, after all, and I must follow his command.

I stand by his side quietly, deciding 'tis best not to utter a single word, and instead watch Gimli grumble about the words Aragorn spoke to him moments ago. 'Tis quite humorous how long the dwarf can hold onto his dismay and irritation, I think to myself with a nearly motionless shake of my head.

My attention is captured by the hobbit appearing once more from the forest, arms laden down with the wood he was sent to collect, and I watch as he glances around at the company. When he asks where Frodo is everyone searches the area and I turn to face Aragorn. He, in turn, is looking at Boromir's things; a space the mortal should be occupying but instead is missing. Instantly we all know this isn't a good sign.

I have grown increasingly worried about Boromir; have sensed that his obsession with the ring would lead to disaster. Now I am beginning to believe that my fears were justified. I know not how I know, but I am sure he is with Frodo at this very minute and that in itself cannot be a good thing. I glance over at Aragorn once more and see my thoughts reflected on his face.

Without another word Aragorn takes off into the forest and I am quick to follow, as are our companions. I fear that Boromir isn't thinking clearly right now, therefore he can be a danger to the wee hobbit, and I can only hope that Frodo is alright.

:0Ж0:

Sending an arrow into the lone orc in my sight, I run in the direction I saw Aragorn rush in and come to a stop when I see him leaning over an injured Boromir. The sight stops me from moving any further and I simply stand a few feet away, watching them from afar. I am saddened by what I am witnessing; never would I have wanted things to end thusly.

I take in the sight of Boromir, lying upon the earth with such pain and sorrow on his face. Three arrows protrude from his body and I know without having to closely inspect them that they are fatal. My heart aches at this realization, both for Boromir and for Aragorn. The lovers are to be inevitably parted soon and I can see the pain of knowledge on the injured man's face. Their very posture is dripping with heartache and my heart constricts in sympathy.

"I am sorry, my love, I should have been a better lover to you." Aragorn whispers, and though I cannot see his face I can hear the tears in his voice.

"Nay, you have shown more love than I have known in a lifetime. I have never loved as sincerely as I have thee, Aragorn. You have given my life meaning and purpose. I lived to be your lover and I cannot think of a better reason." Boromir replies passionately, reaching up to cup his love's face.

"I love you Boromir; I shall always. No one holds my heart the way you do, it belongs to you and will eternally."

Boromir stares up at his lover for a moment with a steady gaze, sorrow and understanding on his face. "I was blessed the day you came into my life Aragorn and your love was a gift from the Valar. However, my beloved, you will love again and I will rejoice the day you give your heart fully to another. Do not be afraid to let another into your heart for you have much love to give."

Aragorn opens his mouth to protest but Boromir shushes him by placing a finger against his lips. "I know your heart is beginning to ache for another, I have known all along, and I do not want you to run from it. You deserve to be loved, Aragorn, and I know the one your heart longs for will love you for all eternity. I can rest peacefully if I know you are in good hands and being cared for."

"Nay, do not speak such things Boromir, please." Aragorn pleads and I flinch at the pain I detect in his voice.

"I pray that you move on once your heart heals," Boromir says quietly yet full of conviction, staring up at Aragorn with such sincerity and love in his eyes. "I want you to go to the one you've been running from… you have my blessing, my love."

Aragorn shakes his head, and whether it is out of refusal or denial, I am unsure. "I should have been a better lover to you, my beloved. I should have given you the love you gave to me so freely."

Boromir smiles at his lover softly, taking his hand with a trembling one. "You gave me the best of your love, Aragorn, never doubt that. I have lived well and I leave with no regrets."

Aragorn remains silent after this, shoulders shaking with suppressed emotion. I glance behind me to find a bewildered yet saddened Gimli standing there, watching the lovers with tears in his eyes. We lock eyes for a moment, silent lucidity passing between us, and then we turn once more to Aragorn and Boromir.

"I would have followed you my brother, my Captain, my King." Boromir states proudly as he stares up at Aragorn with love and pride within his eyes.

I solemnly watch as the light leaves Boromir's eyes and I know the man has left us. I have never been so close to death before and already in the company of the Fellowship I have watched two of my companion's fall. The feelings inside my being are strange and foreign; I do not quite know how to handle it. The existence of mortals have always eluded me but to witness it with my own eyes, knowing Boromir's life has been cut shorter than it already was meant to be, it shakes me.

I can only imagine how Aragorn is feeling, the degree of pain he is experiencing, as I watch him lean in closer to his beloved. Though his voice is a mere whisper I can hear every word he speaks, "Be at peace, son of Gondor," he says before placing a kiss to Boromir's forehead.

After a brief moment of hesitation I move closer to Aragorn and he lifts his head to acknowledge my presence, tears of sorrow escaping his eyes. Those tears squeeze my heart tightly, saddened to see him hurting so, and I crouch down beside him; placing a consoling hand on his shoulder.

"I am sorry, Estel." I whisper lightly, trying to express my sympathy through my eyes. "I know how much you cared for him, but he is at peace now; he hurts no more."

Aragorn takes a deep breath before attempting to address me. "'Tis not that I don't appreciate your words Legolas but I truly cannot handle speaking with you this moment."

Though I believe he means no offence by his words I am still very much hurt by them. "I am merely trying to help, Aragorn, I offer you my friendship and a consoling shoulder."

"My beloved is dead," Aragorn speaks as though it takes a great deal to do so, tears of sorrow weighing down each word. "In life I had not been the lover he deserved for my heart and body betrayed him, I will always regret what I've done and blame myself for hurting him. My traitorous heart was unfaithful even if I wasn't in actions, he deserved better than that."

"He loved you, Aragorn, for who you are… and he shall always love you, death cannot take that away."

"Leave me be, elf, I cannot bear to see you right now. You serve only as a reminder of my treachery and 'tis taking all will power not to resent the very sight of you at the moment."

When these words leave his lips I feel as though he has stabbed me with his sword, breath hitches in my throat and tears well in my eyes. To be spurned thusly brings me agony as such I have never experienced before. I try not to let Aragorn's words reach my heart but it is to no avail, inevitably I feel it constricting in my chest and pain steadily becoming too much to bear.

Aragorn's eyes widen as he watches me closely, seemingly realizing what his words have done. "I meant no offense by this Legolas, I place the blame on no one but myself, and I never meant for my words to hurt you. 'Tis merely difficult for me to look at you right now and not think of how wrong I treated Boromir. Please do not be hurt by this, little elf, I cannot bear the thought of causing your heart more pain."

As the pain increases I know that I must find solitude for I cannot allow my friends to see me in such a state. I rise to my feet quickly and Aragorn's concerned eyes follow me. "I shall do as you wish, Estel." I whisper softly.

"Are you well, Legolas?" Aragorn questions with fear emitting from his very being. "Speak to me, what ails you?"

"I fare fine, mellon-nin, I am simply giving you time alone to say your farewells." I respond briskly, waving a dismissive hand. "Worry not about me."

Not waiting around for a response, I quickly move into the depths of the forest with as much dignity as I can manage. Once I am at a fair distance I slump to the earth and press a hand against my chest; trying desperately to catch my breath. The agony is searing through my very soul and I feel like I am being ripped apart from within. The only thing I have to be thankful for is the fact that my companions aren't bearing witness to my condition; the shame would be too much for my weakening heart to bear.

A choking cough climbs up my throat and burns as I release it, tasting metallic blood on my tongue and feeling it seeping out of the corner of my mouth to slide down my chin. I wipe it away dispassionately with the palm of my hand as I lower my trembling body to the earth, lying on my side and breathing as steadily as I can through my nose.

At a slow pace the pain ebbs away and I am left with a dull ache. I thank the valar when I can breathe a little easier, when each breath I inhale does not cause me pain, but I do not rise from the ground. I give my tired body the time it needs to recuperate before I even attempt to face Aragorn and Gimli once more.

I know not how much longer I can handle this, I am weakening, I acknowledge solemnly, a tear leaking out of the corner of my eye. I do not wish to leave Aragorn and the others behind but I fear I won't have a choice much longer.

Part of me just wants the pain to end, is begging for it to end, but I know I must hold on, even if just for Aragorn's sake. Though I am beginning to not care if I live to see another morn, I know he still needs me and I am not going to let him down.

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, is there healing?
In your name, I find meaning
So I'm holding on, I'm holding on, I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you

TBC…

Lyrics:
Broken - Lifehouse