Chapter Fourteen

I cannot express how much of a relief it was to find Gandalf in the depths of Fangorn; he was the last person I was expecting to see. Now that he has joined us once more, the white wizard, I feel as though some of my hope has been restored. I can feel the relief in each of my companions as well. Maybe now that Gandalf has returned some of that weight Aragorn has been carrying on his shoulders will lessen.

I glance over at my friend, whom sits but feet away, and regard him silently. I cannot tell what he is feeling though, much less thinking. He has been rather quiet as of late, mind focused not only on the search for the hobbits but on other matters as well. I wish I could offer him some comforting words but I do not know what ails him. If only he would speak to me, I think forlornly.

Gandalf had suggested we take a reprieve from our journey to have some rest and something to eat. I am not feeling very hungry but the rest is greatly appreciated. Aragorn is absentmindedly chewing on a slice of lembas bread but his eyes are glazed over in reverie.

I turn my gaze away from Aragorn once more and stare down at the hands clasped in my lap. I glare in disgust at the dirt covering them, unpleased to see my fingernails marred by soil and other substances in which I have no desire to identify. I do not like to think of myself as vain, but not knowing when I will get a chance to bathe is not sitting well with me.

I lift my eyes to acknowledge my visitor the moment I know I am not alone. Aragorn's sensitive eyes look upon me in concern with an affection within their depths that surprises me. Do my eyes deceive me? I question quietly as Aragorn sits down beside me.

"Please, Legolas, you must eat something." Aragorn says as he holds out a slice of lembas bread for me to take.

"You know elves do not require food as often as mortals do." I chide lightly, offering a small smile.

"Aye, but it has been days since you last had any sustenance. Legolas, please, do not deny me this one request, my friend."

I simply stare at him for a moment, silently contemplating how I should respond, but in the end I know I cannot disappoint him. If he wishes for me to eat then eat I will, I am sure I can force a small portion of lembas down my throat for the sake of a friend. I reach out and take the food from his hand, smiling my gratitude for his care.

"If that is what you wish, mellon-nin, I will not fight you." I respond sincerely before taking a bite of the food.

Aragorn smiles in return, relief clear in his eyes, and makes himself more comfortable beside me. After this short rest we are to head to Edoras and we will not be taking another break until we reach our destination. I plan to gather my strength for the journey, since I seem to be on short supply these days. This worries me greatly, for the strength of elves rarely dwindles, but I speak not of my troubles to my companions. They have enough to worry about; I will not become another source.

I turn questioning eyes on the man next to me when I feel his hand on my arm and am startled to find him smiling warmly. My confusion deepens at this unexpected gesture and I use my eyes to ask a silent question. He has been acting rather strange around me as of late and I cannot seem to wrap my mind around his actions. I have caught him staring at me quite often with an unnamable expression in his eyes, on his face, and I am almost afraid to delve deeper.

He has never looked upon me thusly before, nor has he treated me with such care. I am confoundedly confused and suspicious about this turn of events. I cannot help but wonder what is going through his mind to make him act thusly around me.

"I wish to speak with you if I may. Care to take a short walk with me, fair elf?" Aragorn questions softly, looking at me in the most peculiar fashion.

"Certainly, Aragorn, lead the way." I answer with slight hesitation as I move to stand.

Aragorn smiles as he rises to his feet and moves further into the trees, looking back every now and then as though making sure I am following. I watch him intently; warily, as I match him step for step. Just before the trees swallows the visibility of my companions I catch a small smile lighting up Gandalf's face, as though he knows something I do not. I shake my head at the cryptic wizard and put all focus on Aragorn.

We walk further into the oaks and pines until Aragorn spots a cluster of rocks big enough for us to sit upon, underneath a large oak tree that begins to speak softly to me almost immediately. I place my hand against its bark in way of greeting, smiling lighting my face as the tree attempts to calm and give me comfort.

I whisper my gratitude to the tree before turning away and finding Aragorn watching me with a soft, understanding smile on his face. I say naught about this and sit down on the rock nearest me, facing my companion. Aragorn shifts slightly but keeps his sight trained on me the entire time.

"What did you wish to speak to me about, my friend?" I ask quietly to start the conversation for the suddenly nervous man, though his eyes still hold that soft warmth they have held for the past few days.

"I wanted to apologize, for one, for how I have treated you, Legolas. Not just on this journey but before we set out with the Fellowship."

"You have already given me your apology, Estel, and I have forgiven you." I reply with amusement dancing in my eyes. "Your words are unnecessary, mellon-nin."

"I fear you do not believe me, though." Aragorn says softly with a crestfallen expression on his face of which I have never seen on the man before, it tears at my already aching heart. "I know not how to prove it to you and that bothers me greatly. I desperately need you to know that I regret every harsh word I have ever spoken to you; I surely do not feel any ill towards you, my friend."

My heart goes out to the pain I detect in his voice. I had not realized how much this troubled him. Maybe I did not give the keeper of my heart enough credit. I have always known he was a good man with a kind and sensitive heart, but I am afraid during this quest I had forgotten this fact.

"My heart and mind were troubled when I spoke such hurtful words and as of late I have been consumed with grief over Boromir's death. I still grieve over him, part of me will always love him, but I never meant a word I said to you. I am also eternally sorry if I have been strange to you ever since we left Lothlorien; I never meant to confuse you so. I fear there have been so many misunderstandings between us that they have caused irreparable damage. I do not wish for you to think of me as callous or cruel, I truly value the friendship built between us."

I reach out and place my hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up into my eyes. "Let us put all these misgivings in the past and look toward the future. What has come to pass cannot be undone but 'tis not too late to make things right. You have my friendship, Estel, and you are not going to lose it. You have been given a second chance; even if you do not feel you deserve it, don't take it for granted."

Aragorn's eyes light up with joy at these words and he reaches out to place a hand on my shoulder as well. "Hannon-le, Legolas. You are right, I will do my best to stop brooding and dwelling over the past." He responds with such emotion and sincerity that I find myself falling for him all over again. "That is not all I wished to speak to you about, though."

I wait patiently for him to continue but his lips remain closed, a hesitant expression swiftly covering his features. "What is it, Aragorn?"

He removes his hand from my shoulder and I foolishly miss the warmth. He moves to stand as he releases a small bout of nervous laughter, scratching at his scalp needlessly. "Never mind that now, mellon-nin, forget I said anything."

My forehead creases in confusion as I quickly stand and grab his bicep before he can attempt to leave me. "Nay, what ails you, Estel?" I ask softly, moving to stand in front of him and forcing him to face me. "Speak to me, my friend, in me you can confide."

"I find myself reluctant to speak my desired words to you at the moment, Legolas; I feel it would be better to confide something of such importance when we are not in the middle of such perilous times. Please understand, my friend." Aragorn whispers pleadingly, looking upon me with torn eyes. I can see the need he harbors to speak to me but he denies himself.

"Are you sure, mellon-nin? I will respect your wishes, but first I need to know you are positive and not just running away from that which scares you."

A beautiful smile grows upon the man's face as his eyes sweep over my features, eyes roaming over cheekbones and mouth before finally landing on my own eyes. "Something so meaningful and significant shouldn't be spoken within time of war and ugliness, my elf." He whispers, standing so near to me that I can feel his hot breath upon my cheek. "Just know that you are very special to me, have become someone very near and dear to me. I wish I could elaborate further, truly explain what you mean to me, but I truly feel 'tis not the time. Just do not doubt how special you are to me, Legolas."

I find myself unable to respond, do not know what I would even say were I to open my mouth. In the end it matters not for Aragorn places one last long stare upon me before walking back to camp; leaving me behind in my bewilderment. I cannot seem to comprehend what just occurred; cannot grasp the magnitude of sincerity in which Aragorn spoke.

When did I become his elf? I question in my mind in surprise and utter confusion. "What had he meant by that sentiment?"

As expected I do not receive an answer and the questions continue to roll around in my head. For the life of me I cannot begin to have an idea as to what he wishes to tell me once the war of the ring is finished, though my curiosity has peaked.

It does not escape my thoughts that I may not be here for the conversation I long to have with my friend. If my heart decides it has had enough and takes me away there will be naught I can do to stop it. There is also the possibility that one of us could die before we see the end of this war. I may be immortal but even I can perish in battle. Though I intend to protect him with my life during our quest, he will not die so long as I still have breath in my body.

I truly hope none of these possibilities come to pass, though, for I desire to continue this conversation. I need to know what Aragorn was speaking of when he said he has important words to speak to me and the fact that I am special to him. What magnitude of 'special' did he mean?

Did he mean friendship, brother, or… no, I cannot even think it… yet, could he mean what I hope he does? I know it is folly to hope for such a thing, and ultimately dangerous… but hope blossoms in my chest nevertheless, I acknowledge with a mixture of excitement and dread. I fear this can only end badly.

TBC…

Elven Translations:

Mellon-nin -- My friend
Hannon-le -- Thank you