CHAPTER 7

Alicia's POV

(DAY 3)

Everything was normal. i know Clarke and I started off on the wrong foot and everything, but I actually started to move passed well my first impression of her. Working in the ward together helped a lot. I liked getting to know Clarke more. I think we were actually strangely becoming friends now. Clarke, Abby, my mom, and I finished up the remainder of our patients from yesterday. We called it a day. There were no walkers or kidnappers. Just normal.

I dreamed for the third time I've been to Polis tonight. This time it was just Clarke and I in a tent. I don't know why but we were arguing. My chest felt heavy. I knew the feeling. I longed for her in this dream and I knew I was in love with her. I got so frustrated by her words. All I could think about while she was going on and on about something were those luscious lips of her. Why'd they have to be there? Always messing with my train of thought. I just wanted to shut her up and make her feel what I felt. Life is more than just surviving and maybe we did deserve more like she always says. Maybe she deserves to be able to love too. I crossed the room and kissed her with all my frustration and more. When our lips finally I met, everything around turned red and rosy. I felt the electricity running up my spine and my heartbeats quicken. Her lips were so soft and moist. When she kissed me back I felt the warmth from her transfer to me. It definitely turned me on. We moved in sync until she pulled away. I woke up so confused. I was hurt. Why did she pull away from the kiss when she kissed me back? Did she not feel our connection? I tried to calm my breathing and so I wouldn't wake up my mom. I knew I shouldn't be freaking out over this stupid dream, but it felt so real. Reality check Alicia! Clarke doesn't love you! She's in love with someone else. How can I waste my time on someone whose unavailable. I need to stop dreaming about her. I knew the only way for me to stop thinking and dreaming about her is to distance myself from her. That's the only way.

(DAY 4)

Clarke's POV

I went down to the ward today expecting to talk to Alicia more. I was surprised to see that she wasn't there even though I saw Madison.

"Hey, Madison. Do you know where Alicia is?" I asked.

"She needed a day off. She was just tired and really didn't feel like coming to the ward today. Don't worry though we only have ten patients left today. We'll finish quick even without Alicia." Madison said. I nodded and headed over to my patient. I hope Alicia's okay. I don't know whether or not it was because she had Lexa's face or because I genuinely started to care for her as a friend, but I was worried about Alicia. Did I do something wrong? Hmm... I'll give her some space today but I'll go find her tomorrow to talk.

Alicia's POV

I avoided the ward and played hooky today. I know it sounds bad but I needed this. i needed some me time. I needed a breather and some space. I walked around the compound and spotted Chris. He looked like he was heading somewhere.

"Chris! Where are you going?" I asked.

"Down to the technology center to meet Raven why?" Chris asked.

"Cause I'm bored. I'll tag along. I want to meet this Raven." I said. Cool name I thought as I followed Chris.

We entered the tech center that was blasting music I've never heard before.

"RAVEN! This is my sister Alicia." Chris said to the tan beauty. She turned and her face showed that she was startled. She did a double take on me. Then just stared.

"Hi Raven. Do you mind if I just hang out here for the day? I'd help you out with some of the tech too, if you want. By the way what kind of music is this?" I said trying to start up a conversation.

"It was whatever they had from our old home. I don't even know who it's by honestly. But eh it's music. You can't complain. Nice to meet you." Raven said.

"Nice to meet you too Rae. Well, I have an iPhone. If we can get it powered up we'll have thousands of songs available to us. Would you be interested in doing that?" I asked.

"Yea. If it's for good tunes. Why not? Let's get to work." Raven said.

Working with Raven was honestly so fun. She didn't really take bullshit. She just was a straightforward, chill, and super creative chick.

"THE SCREEN LIT UP ALICIA! It works." Raven said with a big smile plastered on her face. I smiled back at her.

"You're a genius Rae. Let's just put it on shuffle and see what's the first song that pops up alright?" I told them. The three of us sat back and hit shuffle.

"I JUST HAD SEX, AND IT FELT SO GOOD. A WOMAN LET ME PUT MY PENIS INSIDE OF HER." my iPhone sang. Oh My God! My face turned beat red. I took a look at Raven and she had a confirmed disgusted face on.

"I swear. I don't know how that song got into my library." I said. Chris and Raven looked at each other before bursting out in laughter. We sat around for the rest of the day listening to music and telling Raven about Chris and my time period.

Chris fell asleep on the side. Raven looked over at me.

"You're not as bad as I thought you'd be." Ra even said.

"Did I look like a serial killer when I first walked in? What Rae does it have to do with the girl that looked like me and was with Clarke? Was she that bad?" I asked.

"You know it's not my place to tell you. You just gotta wait on Clarke for the answer, but don't push her to tell you. Also, don't be too hard on her. Clarke lost her very recently. She's dealing the best she can." Raven said. I nodded. I decided to change the mood and the subject.

"So Polis. It's kind of a downer. Everyone just works it seems. There are a lot of mopers here. Do you think we could set up a night event to boost everyone's spirits? I was kind of thinking. You know, now that we got music access and we could probably hook it up to a stereo, we'd be able to do a dance of some sort. You know something to get everyone's minds off all the craziness happening here. I'd help organize it." I said.

"I think that would actually be fun. I mean I don't know how much fun a cripple would be on a dance floor though." Raven said laughing.

"Aye. I taught dance classes when I was home. I gotchu Rae. I'll dance with you. Plus, from what I've learned from teaching, it's that good dance comes from having fun and just feeling the vibe. You can have good technique but if you're stiff you won't move well. So let's just make fools of ourselves together, yea?" I said smiling back.

"Ok, I'll run it by Abby and let you know if it's a no go or a go go." Rae said.

"Sweet! Also, do you know where I can go to get some more clothes for my family and I? We didn't have much given to us when we first got to Polis and I really don't want to keep borrowing from others. I feel bad." I said with a pouty puppy dog face.

"Yea, there's a place outside of Polis. It's close. Octavia can take you. She knows the land the best and you'll be safe with her. I'll let her know. Just meet her tomorrow morning at the front of Polis, okay?" Rae said.

"Octavia? You mean the intense, warrior brunette? The one that captured me and looks kind of scary, well hot scary?" I asked. Raven looked at me like I was joking and chuckled.

"Yea." She said.

"Okaayy..." I responded unsure of myself and my safety.

I went to bed later that day and dreamed for the fourth time. This time I was in the woods with Clarke. I was in warrior clothes with a sword and everything. I felt disgusting and my heart broke for what I was going to do. I grabbed Clarke.

"Where are you going?" Clarke asked me confused and desperate.

"May we meet again." I said. I walked towards the woods and I didn't turn back. If I did I would not have had the power to leave Clarke there on that mountain. I started a run back to camp as my tears started to flow.

I jolted up feeling disgusted about myself. I felt heartbroken too. Now I wouldn't be able to talk to Clarke again. I felt guilty. Guilty for something that happened in a dream. Guilty for something I didn't actually do. How stupid of me.