January 23, 1271
Kaer Morhen

Another long, boring day at the keep. Nothing ever seems to happen around here, but perhaps that is for the best. Things were so much more exciting when Geralt was alive; it's just not the same without him. Damn it! If only I had reached him in time, maybe things could've been different? To die with a pitchfork to the gut, such an ignoble death to a noble man. I saw Yennefer try to heal him, but I don't think she was fast enough. Ciri teleported them both away so fast, I never even got to say 'goodbye'. I have no idea where they even buried him. And I haven't seen Ciri nor Yen in years – I hope they're both alright.

I know Geralt's never shown me much beyond friendship, but the way he used to look at me with those sad eyes... I just wanted to run up and kiss him and tell him that everything would be alright. But, there's no chance of that now. He's dead. If there is anything beyond this vale of tears, perhaps I will at last be reunited with him. Maybe he could even love me in another life...

The other witchers, save Lambert, have been very supportive. They let me stay here at the keep indefinitely, as long as I respect their space.

I've always been very fond of Vesemir. Ever since I was a little girl, he has been like a father to me. He's so sweet and kind. And he really understands the pain I've been going through these past few years. I was disconsolate after his death, but he told me: "Child, if there is anything you need, do not hesitate to ask." I told him that he's already done more than enough. He just sighed and patted me on the shoulder. I'll never forget what he said: "To experience the death of a loved one is one of the greatest pains anyone can endure. Stay as long as you need, Triss. This is your home now." I've been wintering here at Kaer Morhen ever since. I can tell now why the other witchers respect him so much. Vesemir is not only wise, but also tremendously empathetic. People that say witchers are stripped of emotion have obviously never met one.

Eskel is kind, but he doesn't say much. I think he keeps a comfortable distance from me, but he's not rude. Maybe he's just shy? All I know is that he's very dedicated to the Path: he prides himself on being a 'by-the-book witcher'. Perhaps he'll loosen someday, but I'm not holding my breath.

Lambert is a total prick! He treats me like some sort of spy, always accusing me of wanting to steal their secrets. I even get within 100 yards of the laboratory, and he yells "Merigold! I thought I saw you sneaking about. Trying to break into our lab?" And, by all that is holy, how many times do I have to tell him NOT to call me 'Merigold'? It 'Triss' you dimwit! So infuriating!

There's this new guy, Leo. Hasn't undergone the mutations yet. Seems like a nice kid – I just hope he survives the Trial of the Grasses. So many die for one reason or another. I've offered to stand by and help, but of course Lambert said that I was just making an excuse to sneak a peek at their precious formulae. Vesemir stepped in and rebuked him, saying I was just trying to help (which is the truth). But, he said that tradition is essential. Leo will just have to hope he's one of the lucky ones.

January 24, 1271
Kaer Morhen

Told Lambert that I'd cast a spell that would make his cockerel fall off if he called me 'Merigold' one more time. He just laughed – bastard knew it was an empty threat.

Eskel said that he was just teasing me because he likes me. If so, he's barking up the wrong tree. Definitely not my type. If there is a woman out there for him, maybe she can teach him some manners. Gods help her!

January 25, 1271
Kaer Morhen

Cold night tonight. Got the fire roaring, but it's just not keeping the chill out. Such a lovely bed, but no one to share it with. If only Geralt were here to keep me warm. His arms wrapped around me, his breath on my neck. I would be kissing each one of his scars...

I should stop. Thinking such thoughts only whets the pain of his loss all the more. Better add a few more logs to the fire; it's going to be a long night.

February 15, 1271
Kaer Morhen

Haven't written in a while, but there's really nothing going on. Lambert and Eskel are out on an extended hunt. Vesemir has been training with Leo. And I've been mostly sitting on my ass twiddling my thumbs. Occasionally I'll touch base with Keira on the megascope, but all is calm in Temeria. Too calm. In fact, I really should return to Vizima soon. But, I'll wait until the two witchers get back. I'd like to say goodbye to Eskel at least. Lambert, I couldn't care less about.

February 16, 1271
Kaer Morhen

Vesemir says that Eskel and Lambert are to return tomorrow. He seemed really upbeat about it too. I've never seen him so happy about something so mundane. I wonder what he's not telling me.

February 17, 1271
Kaer Morhen

I've been pinching myself all day! This simply must be a dream. Geralt has returned! Lambert and Eskel brought him in this morning on a cart. A cart!

I ran over to look, and Geralt was lying there, as if dead. But then Eskel just smiled and said: "He's alive. Tend to his wounds Triss."

Vesemir suggested we take him up to my room so I could begin treating him. Predictably, Lambert objected, but Vesemir told him that he couldn't think of a better person to take care of Geralt. I really have grown fond of the old man; he's so sweet!

Geralt's condition is stable. Multiple contusions and lacerations, significant blood loss, but I have no doubt that he'll recover. I washed all of his wounds, applied the right herbs, and used my magic until I nearly passed out. He's in good shape now; I made sure of it. The only unknown is what his mental state will be when he wakes. Can't worry about that now.

I'll watch him closely these next few days.

February 18, 1271
Kaer Morhen

Geralt is still unconscious, but he does occasionally murmur in his sleep. Most of it is unintelligible, but I do hear him mention The Wild Hunt quite often. Must be terrible nightmares, since he gets really sweaty and clammy. I just wipe his forehead off with a clean cloth and kiss his cheek. He seems to calm down when I do that.

Most of the time he's quiet. Asleep like a babe. I do hope he wakes soon. I have a lot of questions for him.

February 19, 1271
Kaer Morhen

He awoke today, but is suffering severe amnesia. At first I was offended when he asked who I was. I told him "I'm your friend, Triss! Triss Merigold."

But, he just furrowed his eyebrows and said: "I'm sorry. I don't remember you. I don't remember anything. Where am I?"

I tried my best to explain who he was and where he was, but I'm not sure how much sunk in. He now knows he's a witcher of the school of the wolf, but that's all. It's like his past has been totally erased. Something powerful is blocking his memory. I'll work hard to try and restore it, but I doubt it will be an easy fix. If only I had a rose of remembrance. Those flowers are truly powerful, but so incredibly rare. For all I know, they could be extinct.

Not sure how I'm going to break the news to Vesemir and the others. He still needs to rest for a couple more days, though his witcher mutations are ensuring a rapid recovery.

February 20, 1271
Kaer Morhen

Oh gods, what am I to do? Geralt has been asking me a lot of questions. Personal questions.

I told him I was a dear friend. Unexpectedly, he said that he feels drawn to me. He said that he knows that I was special to him. Well, I'd like to think so, but I also know his heart belonged to another. Do I tell him? Do I reveal that my heart has been on fire from the first moment I saw him, yet he always rebuffed my advances? How my whole life I have yearned for his touch?

I love him terribly, always have. And I want what is best for him. I saw the way Yen treated him like a dog. A pat on the head or a treat when he pleases her – a kick to the ribs when he doesn't. She never appreciated him and always took him for granted. Geralt deserves so much more! I could give that to him. Is it wrong to feel this way?

We kissed tonight. And one thing led to another...

I should talk to Vesemir tomorrow.

February 21, 1271
Kaer Morhen

I told Vesemir everything. The old man, to his credit, didn't flinch one bit. In fact, he seemed to expect it. He asked if I used magic to charm him, and I said no. I explained that, to my surprise, Geralt had returned my love freely and enthusiastically.

Vesemir just nodded and said that Geralt had always had hidden feelings for me – feelings he dared not explore lest he incur the wrath of Yennefer. But, with his memory gone, he has nothing holding him back. His innate desire for me is finally being expressed.

Maybe. Or maybe I'm the biggest fool in the world, taking his lust and pretending its love. I guess time will tell.

The other witchers don't seem to mind. Eskel's face occasionally lights up with a big grin when he sees Geralt and me together, but he hasn't commented directly. Lambert is his usual irritating self, but surprisingly he hasn't done anything to interfere. And poor Leo seems oblivious to the whole thing.

Anyway, the nights aren't so cold anymore. For the first time in years, I'm happy. Truly happy!