CHAPTER 13

Clarke's POV

There was a gunshot. I saw Lexa's face. Then there was blood. Lots of black blood that seemed to flow endlessly. I watched Lexa breathe heavily accepting her death. I watched her take her last breath.

I jolted awake. I saw a confused and grumpy girl next to me on the bed. Okay that was just a dream. Just a dream. Lexa's here. Alive, awake, and a little grumpy, but nevertheless, she's still alive.

"Clarke. When you say you want to hold me and I fall asleep, I don't expect to be thrown off to the side in the middle of the night." Lexa mumbled into her pillow. How cute.

"Sorry it was a nightmare. Go back to sleep." I said. I didn't have to even ask. Lexa slowly sat up and gave me a look.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked grabbing my hand.

"It was just a memory. I dreamed of you dying again. I guess now that I have you back I'm just terrified that I'll lose you again." I said truthfully.

"You're not going to lose me this time Clarke. I go where ever you go." Lexa smiled. I reached over and gave Lexa's cheeks a little squeeze.

"Are you my houmon?" I asked. She looked surprised. Maybe Indra was wrong.

"How did you know? Wait. Do you want to be mine?" Lexa asked.

"Ofcourse, I can barely live without you. Being your wife gives me rights. Like rights to kiss you, counsel you, hold you, sleep next to you, experience things with you... have sex with you." I said emphasizing the last right more than the others. I went and straddled Lexa. Before I could lean down a hand was held out, telling me it was a no go. I pouted as Lexa ran her palms up and down my thighs.

"As much as I would like to let you to exercise your right as my wife. I'd like to do things right this time. If that's okay with you." Lexa said. Lexa was just too darn amazing to say no to.

"Maybe we both deserve more. You're not technically the commander of the 13 clans anymore and I'm not the default leader of Skaikru anymore. We could leave all this behind and just go, you know. Spend a life together. Be happy and normal. Be safe. Wouldn't it be nice to have a house by the lake? Just you and me and lots and lots of sex?" I winked.

"I'd like that but I can't and we can't. I promised Alicia before the merge that I would take care of her family, which I guess is now my family. Staying and working for polis against Alie's next plan let's me be in the best position to keep my promise to her. Plus, like you'd even be able to leave your people. I know you Clarke, and as much as you care for me, you wouldn't be able to risk people's lives for our happiness. That's why I.. that's why you're you!" Lexa said as I raised my eyebrow at her last few words. That's why you're you... Really Lex? Again?

I was so silent for so long that Lexa started rambling on again about my acts for my people that I had to cut her off.

"I love you Lexa." I was glad to say it first and proud of my confidence. Lexa's mouth just dropped open.

"You're really making it so hard right now to keep my abstinence. That was a joke by the way. The part with the that's why you're you. I just wanted to see your reaction, but heck I was suppose to say it first. I, Lexa com Trikru , am so in love with you Clarke. It's the kind of love that makes living worthwhile. A love that doesn't need words. A love that I want to get up in the morning with. A love built on trust. A love that I can depend on when everything fails. A love that I can be solely happy with. A love that I fall in love with just a little bit more each and every day. A love that I want to cherish for my entire life and a love that I want to call my wife. You're my everything and you have been since I've met you. Even if you think I put my people first, there is no one more special and precious to me then you. I don't know where I would be without you or if I'd still be the hardened heart commander. When you came to the ground and walked into my life you brought me back to life again and made me not just a warrior, but a human being. I owe all my love to you. You're my one and only everlasting love, Clarke." Lexa finished. I was tearing up already.

"That was... Beautiful. Just like you. Why are you always so good with your words Lex." I said before bringing her in for a long kiss. We held each other for I don't know how long. Lexa was the one to finally break the silence in her room.

"So, Clarke. Whose Niylah?" Lexa asked.

Shit. What the hell Alicia, ratting me out.

"Ummm... Well, Lex... She's a girl. You know blonde and all. So when's that date? What will we be doing?" I tried to change the subject. Lexa gave me the most stoic face and pierced my soul with those emerald eyes. Those burning emerald eyes.

"Clarrrkkee…" Lexa groaned.

"Okay okay. We were intimate only a handful of times, but in my defense we weren't together and I was pissed at you for leaving me at Mount Weather at the time. She means nothing more than a friend now. To be honest, I only ended up with her because of you, you know. I was so angry with you at the time, but I wanted you so badly too. I couldn't go back to you though; my ego wouldn't let me. Niylah appeared and well it was mostly angry sex. Kind of ashamed that I imagined she was you every time we did it. She kind of got the memo when I kept shouting your name and telling her to float herself. The main point is that ever since I met you I can't do anything without thinking about you. Everything goes back to you because I only want you. I only love you, Lexa and that'll never change." I said trying to clear up the situation. I waited for Lexa to say something of give me a different facial expression. I waited about 5 seconds. Longest five seconds of my life, before Lexa finally broke the silence.

"You're lucky you're pretty." Lexa said as she leaned in to kiss me. It was a short and sweet kiss. We just stared at each other after. Taking in the view.

All of a sudden the doors swung open with a very angry Madison.

Lexa's POV

"CLARKE! Where is my daug... Oh Alicia you're okay. I got so worried. I went to the ward and your cot was empty. I imagined the worse and thought something awful happened to you. And Clarke you said you would tell me when Alicia woke up. Why didn't you?" Madison asked.

"Mom, I'm fine it's all good. Let's just leave it at that." I said. I crossed the room and gave my mother a much needed hug and smile.

"BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!" the doors swung open again.

"Clarke, it is time. We need Alicia to be the figurehead. The clan leaders and the clans have arrived and stood their ground at the feet of Polis. The leaders are in the throne room awaiting Wanheda. Alicia, we need your help." Indra said.

"Yu gonplei no ste odon." I said in my warrior voice as I faced Indra.

"Commander. It has happened." Indra said kneeling down.

"Get up Indra. Greetings will be done later. Now we need to deal with our people." I said.

"What did you just say, Alicia? Why was Indra kneeling?" my mom said.

"All will be explained mom. You can come with us and witness part of what I'll tell you later, but you must be silent and not speak a word. It is for your own safety mom." I said.

"I don't care about my safety. I care about my daughter's safety." My mom said.

"Don't worry mom. I'm probably the safest I've ever been since the infection." I said. Clarke passed me the cloak, which I had worn to my room. I put it on and concealed my face. Clarke and I lead the party from my room to the throne room.

We opened the doors to the throne room and made our way to the front of the room. The room was filled with noise. All of which was about who would be the next commander.

"All the nightbloods and the Commander are dead. We need a commander. Wanheda, you have done nothing to fill the void." One of the clan leaders said,

"I'll be the leader." Another clan leader said.

"No, I'll be," another leader said. Soon the room was filled with yelling. I couldn't take this noise.

"SHOP OF!" I shouted. The room went silent. I lifted my hood and revealed myself.

"You dare speak ill of the dead! Should I cut all your tongues out now? I am Lexa com Trikru and I am your commander. You may pledge your loyalty to the coalition and we can fight Alie's plans together, or you can leave. Try and strike me and you will die. There will be no mercy or exceptions. We follow the rule jus drein jus draun for this decision. Make your decision now." I said. I was expecting one of the leaders to revolt, so I wasn't surprised when one charged forward with a weapon. I pulled Indra's sword from her waist and swung it at the leader, disarming him. I swung the sword back around, slicing his head off his body. I kicked the head off the balcony as a show of my rule in front of the coalition.

"ANYONE ELSE!" I said. They all knelt to the ground pledging themselves to the coalition. Their heads bowed down in respect. Peace amongst my people has once again been restored.

"You'll get a call from my clan when the next meeting is and how we will move forward in a week's notice. For now, if your clan needs any aid, you will ask Indra and she will provide it. That is all for now. Leave us." I said with a turn to my throne and a flick of the wrist. I sat down on my throne.

Once the room cleared out and the dead clan leaders body was taken away, I turned to see everyone's face. Clarke was stoic.

"Clarke." I said, scared she would judge me for what I just did.

"It was necessary." She said. I looked back at my mom. She looked frightened of me.

"Who are you?" she asked, I let go and gave Alicia the power to speak.

"I'm still your daughter, mom. In the past I was your Alicia. When I came to this timeline mom I merged with Lexa who is a part of our bloodline. I'm her ancestor and so are you. Lexa and I merged into one soul in this body. I'm still here mom. I just need to go by Lexa here, because she's who everyone looks up to. She's who everyone needs. She's a great ruler in this world." I let Alicia say.

"I can't believe this." Madison said. I didn't want my mom to be afraid and I needed her to believe and know that Alicia was a part of me. I was her as she was me. I could only think of one way my mother could verify that Alicia was me. I knew what to say.

"Fine, mom ask me the question." I said.

"What's our family's safe word?" she asked.

"Monopoly." I said giving a smirking smile.

"You really are my daughter! I just want you to know, I need you to be safe Alicia. I'm going to stick with calling you that. It's too weird switching to your middle name." my mom said with a smile.

"Thanks mom." I said giving her a hug.

"Now did you really have to kill that person?" she broke.

"MOM!" I said. Gosh was she embarrassing, questioning my rule.