A/N – I know, I know. It's been seven months since I updated and I apologise. Uni was full on, I've been on prac for the last few weeks (and totally kicking arse!), I've been ill, and I've been working a lot of night shifts to be able to feed myself. Top all of that off with some Writer's Block and it's been hell. Still, here we go, back on track…if it's a little stilted, I apologise. Also, some moments may seem eerily similar to those in the last chapter, but don't skim past them, as you may miss something important. Getting back into the swing of this fic has been quite daunting, and I'm still not sure I've done it justice…Either way, I didn't want you to wait any longer, so it's all yours now. Please, be gentle…

Chapter 12 – Sense of Humour

Draco stared into the fireplace in his bedroom, gaping at his co-conspirator. When he'd been rudely awoken by Greg's firecall, he'd informed the other boy that matters had better have been urgent. Now, however, he wished that they were less so.

"You told them everything?" He asked in disbelief. "Absolutely everything? And incriminated me in the process?"

His friend's face glowered back at his accusatory tone. "I'm no Gryff, Draco. If I was goin' down, I was bringin' you with me. 'Sides, wasn't this entire thing your idea to bloody begin with?"

"No!" The blond huffed indignantly.

Greg sighed; what was done was done and there was no changing it. Arguing over who started what would be pointless. "Look, it's done. It's over. Now we need to fix it. Poor girl is in a right state, and it's our fault, really. And now 'Arry won't talk to me-"

"Oh, so that's what's going on! You miss your boy-toy!" Draco was still upset at having been dobbed in, and wasn't feeling all that generous. "Sorry, Goyle, but you're on your own. You told them everything; ergo, it's your job to fix it."

"What?! Bollocks, Draco! We're in this together. 'Sides, if you 'elp me put things right, chances of Snape killing you will be far slimmer."

Hmm…Greg did have a point…

The Malfoy heir sighed. "Fine. What do you suggest we do?"

-?-

Harry lay awake in his bed, fuming. He felt so betrayed! Greg had been nothing but kind, caring and patient…completely understanding of peoples' emotions and decisions…and then WHAM; he pulled this stupid stunt that ended up all but crushing Hermione. And to think that he'd been willing to trust him with his virginity! Perfect match or no, Harry was glad that they hadn't yet gone that far. Greg didn't deserve that honour, and it would take a while for him to once again prove himself worthy.

The Boy-Who-Lived sighed. Try as he might, he couldn't quite hate Greg for what he'd done. After all, it wasn't as though he'd acted out of spite or malevolence; he and Draco had been trying to help…through unconventional means, yes, but it was utterly innocent, really. It would eventually be forgivable, but Hermione and Snape needed time to get over the shock and turmoil of the situation, and Harry himself needed to come to terms with his boyfriend's deception.

He just hoped that Snape didn't kill him in the meantime.

-?-

Morning crept over the Manor gently, as though sensing the occupants' need for peace and tranquillity. Hermione was the first to wake and she stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought. She was still hurt by Greg and Draco's actions, but was starting to understand why they had done what they'd done. In a misguided way, they had wanted nothing more than to nudge her and Severus back together, and that was almost commendable. Almost.

She had believed that she had lost a child. Her child. Severus' child. The grief had been crippling. Even now, knowing that it wasn't real, that no baby had been miscarried, she fought the urge to break down in tears of sadness and loss. She couldn't even begin to imagine how she might have survived the ordeal had it been real…and it was entirely Greg and Draco's fault that she had sampled that fear and grief to begin with.

So she was angry. Angry that they had manipulated her own body to work against her. Angry that she had trusted them. Angry that they had betrayed her and Severus. Angry that she couldn't bring herself to forgive and forget, knowing that they really had meant well…

And she was hurt. Hurt for all the above reasons and then more.

She'd wanted that baby. Some part of her had been hoping that she was pregnant, despite the drama it might have caused. She'd even spared a few thoughts to names, to clothes, to toys, to family. And for what? For a practical joke? She felt humiliated and violated. And, Merlin, Severus had thought she was pregnant, too! He had known and, from what she had consciously observed yesterday, he had wanted that child, too. He hadn't said it –neither had she- but he had grieved over their loss just as she had. She'd been honest when she'd told him that he would make a wonderful father.

One day, she decided, she would give him that opportunity. It was clear they both wanted it, after all. Perhaps even more so than they had openly told each other during the Christmas break.

But first, she sighed as she rose from the bed, we have to move past this entire debacle.

Of course, like most life-changing events, that was easier said than done.

-?-

Severus sat in his study, quill in hand, poised over a blank piece of parchment. He'd been attempting to gain permission to have Malfoy and Goyle join him for a small chat, but hadn't been able to form the words. A small droplet of ink gathered at the tip of his quill and, when his hand wavered, dropped from the implement and onto the parchment, splattering and absorbing on impact. Severus didn't notice. He was lost in thought, wondering over his response to knowing the truth.

Hermione hadn't miscarried. She hadn't even been pregnant. It was a relief, and yet he felt strangely empty inside. He'd spent weeks convincing himself that he was ready to accept his duties as a father. Merlin, he'd actually wanted to embrace the fact! For all of his self-doubt, he knew that he had wanted that baby.

But there hadn't been a baby, had there? It had all been due to the machinations and intricacies of some twisted teenage prank, courtesy of his aforementioned Slytherins, to mend his broken relationship. The very idea seemed both laughable and disturbing, and left him mourning a life that had never existed. He scowled; Severus Snape had never dealt well with being made to feel a fool, and he had certainly never enjoyed feeling vulnerable.

The notion that something could indeed hurt him so deeply angered him. Those boys had no right to behave as they had done; Malfoy especially. Did it matter why they had acted that way? No! He couldn't see how it made a lick of difference, and he would never look back on this situation with a sense of humour borne of a sentimental attitude to human idiocies, though he knew, on some level, that Hermione would. It was in her affable, gentle, Gryffindor nature after all. Despite himself, he envied her for it, knowing that she would be able to move past this debacle far easier than he in the long run.

Now, that wasn't to say that he didn't see that she was hurting; it was clear that a small part of her had died inside at the thought of losing their child, and he could only imagine her inner turmoil at having thought herself the carrier and nurturer of said foetus. However, she was more rational than he, and far more willing to discuss the issue with the fiends that had caused her grief, far more willing to find closure and mend broken bridges, while he, on the other hand, would allow his anger and pain to fester within him, bubbling away like a sulphurous potion.

Images of Sophia flashed through his mind, devoid of the emotional attachment one would expect to be connected with rearing an infant that was, for all intents and purposes, his own child. Thankfully, the Disillusionment Draught had seen to that. However, he remembered playing the role of a father, of a 'Daddy'; in his mind's eye Sophia was replaced by yet another child - the product of his overactive imagination, the child he thought he'd lost. His heart clenched painfully as he envisioned himself swooping a giggling toddler into his arms and hoisting it off to bed, reading tales of mystery and wonder, nurturing its superior intellect alongside his wife…Hermione. Suddenly, it felt as though the Draught had failed. He was gripped by grief for a life that could have been.

"Sir?" Harry Potter had stumbled upon him at the most inopportune moment and stood at the door of his private study, transfixed by the emotion and despair playing across his features.

"For Merlin's sake, Boy, close the door." The very thought of Hermione discovering him in such a state alarmed him.

Potter walked in and shut the door in one swift movement, before cautiously approaching the desk. "Professor Snape," he began softly, as one would attempt to coerce a skittish animal, "Is there anything I can do?"

It was a testament to how distraught he was that Severus merely shook his head rather than snap at the son of his schoolyard nemesis. "I intend on dealing with your recalcitrant associates privately. Excluding that, there is very little to be done."

Harry nodded. "Maybe I should go? I'd be welcome enough with the Weasleys."

"I am loathe to send you away without allowing you to discuss it with Hermione beforehand," Severus responded, "however, it would more than likely be for the best of all involved."

"I thought as much. You and 'Mione need to move on from this properly."

Snape raised an eyebrow; the boy had no right to speak to him so bluntly. When his sardonic gaze was returned with a slight blush, it was clear that they both knew as much.

"I don't mean to overstep my bounds," Harry hurried to extrapolate, "but she's my best friend. I don't think I could bear to see her like she was ever again…But you're both quite stubborn at the best of times and-"

Emotions once again under control, Severus rolled his eyes. "I'd suggest you stop there, Potter, before you say something you'll truly regret."

"Yes sir." Harry's cheeks were red. "Sorry."

"I sincerely doubt it."

-?-

"Leaving?" Hermione echoed morosely over lunch, "Harry, why?"

She watched as her two companions shared a look. Obviously, they'd come to the decision together, and she wondered if they imagined it was in her best interests or their own.

"Oh, honestly!" she huffed, folding her arms across her chest, "I'm not a porcelain doll! I don't need minding! I should have been included in this decision too!"

Severus sighed. "Be that as it may, Mister Potter-"

"Harry." Her interjection was pointed and automatic. He sighed again.

"Harry has chosen to visit with Mister Weasley-"

"Ron."

His expression became pinched, but he forged onwards. "With Ronald so that you and I might have some time between ourselves."

The young woman sniffed haughtily, as though uncertain as to whether Severus was being entirely honest with her. She turned to her best friend of almost seven years. "Is that true?"

Harry was torn between telling her the truth and upsetting her, or lying and making Snape out to be the bad guy once more. After a moment's deliberation, he nodded dejectedly. "You have to understand, 'Mione, that I don't think I'm helping anyone by staying on here. You and Snape-"

"Severus."

Harry was startled by the fact that it was his Potions Master to correct him so gently on his form of address rather than his generally bossy (yet utterly lovable) best friend. "Er…right…" he stammered for a bit, momentarily confused. "As I was saying…You and Sn…er…Severus deserve a bit of time to sort through everything on your own. And Ron and I haven't had the chance to muck around as mates for a while now. It really does work out to be the best for everyone."

"Oh." Hermione took a moment to absorb his words. "Well, in that case…go. Have fun. Send Ron my regards." Her sentences were jarring against one another and the hurt in her tone was unmistakeable. She rose from her seat, her movements stilted. "I think I'm done here. Goodbye, Harry. I will see you at school." She turned on her heel and fled the scene.

The Boy-Who-Lived hurried to chase after her, but Severus moved to stop him. "Leave her be, Potter. There's not much you can say or do at this point in time that will do any good."

Harry nodded. "I'll write…"

"As will she. And before you know it you'll be sickeningly chummy once more."

Severus ushered the young man to the fireplace and hesitated a moment, before shaking his hand. "You've done the right thing, Potter."

"I hope so." Harry responded meaningfully, before activating the floo network and disappearing into the flames.

-?-

Hermione chastised herself as she lay sprawled out over the bed, originally intent on wallowing in self-pity. Hadn't she resolved, only that very morning, to move on? Why was she being such a sook now? Harry had every right to go to Ron's. After all, he, too, had been hurt by Greg's actions. She hadn't even considered the fact that he needed a little comfort, too.

The truth of the matter was that she was anxious about being left alone with Severus. Things between them would no doubt be awkward, and they hadn't really had a chance to talk about anything substantial, really, since that initial trip back to the Manor. What if they couldn't breach the gap that had grown between them? What if he reverted back to the nasty bat of the dungeons role that he played so very well? She needed him more than ever but had no idea how to make things right again.

With a sigh, she pushed herself from the bed and straightened her clothes. There really was no point hiding away and moping, though. Severus did that well enough on his own.

"Going somewhere?"

Hermione spun on her heel to face the very object of her musings. "I was about to come and find you, actually."

"Indeed?" He leant casually against the doorframe, though he tensed as he knew what was about to follow.

She nodded. "We need to talk about all of this, Severus."

Though he wanted nothing more than to refute that very claim, he nodded resignedly. "Very well. Shall we take this conversation elsewhere?" The bedroom seemed far too intimate.

Hermione agreed and followed him down the stairs and into the sitting room. He summoned tea as a courtesy, but it went untouched.

"Is it terribly wrong of me to have wanted that baby?" she asked bluntly, having sat in strained silence for over a minute.

He met her gaze. "Of course not, you foolish woman. It would have been impractical to have a child…"

"But it would have been loved nevertheless?"

He nodded.

"I can't believe how stupid I was." She began again after another moment spent in silent contemplation. "I mean, how hard is it to check myself for hexes?"

Severus sighed. "The war is well over; we've all been lulled into a false sense of security. There is no use thinking about things we might have done differently. You had no reason to believe those boys would do anything quite so idiotic."

"I know, but-"

"Hermione," his tone was gentle, "you can't change the past."

She observed the way his eyes glimmered with a rage that was barely suppressed. "But you are planning on punishing them."

"Actions such as theirs should not go unpunished."

"Severus," she pleaded softly, "I understand that what they did was wrong, and that it hurt us, but they didn't do it to hurt us. They did it to help."

"And that excuses them, does it?"

"Well, no, but you shouldn't be too hard on them…"

He blinked. "Merlin, Woman, think about what they've put you through! Don't you want to see justice served?"

"I know what they've put me through! What they've put you through! And I'm not saying that I don't want to hex them into oblivion…but it's not right. Not when they were only trying to make things better." She reached out and placed her hand upon his in a placating gesture. Her eyes were moist as she tried to reason with him. "Please. Please don't be too hard on them."

Severus sighed. "But you agree that their actions deserve some consequence?"

"Of course I do." She shook her head. "Just remember that they are only teenagers. Teenagers make mistakes, Severus." She rubbed his left forearm pointedly. "Everyone deserves a chance at redemption."

-?-

"Right, add three drops of essence of flaxweed, stir five times counter-clockwise, then leave to cool." Draco instructed, reading from a Potions text that he'd managed to procure from the estate's library. Technically, his Aunt forbade him from removing any books from the library for fear of the mischief he could cause, but he'd been able to sneak this one out with some magical manoeuvring.

Goyle complied and stepped away to compare his handiwork to the sample outlined on the pages of the book. "It's the right colour and texture…"

"Of course it is." the blond responded arrogantly, "Outside of Granger, you and I are the best Potions students in that school; following such simple instructions is child's play."

Gregory nodded. "Just hope this works, then, eh?"

Draco sniffed imperiously as he hovered over the cauldron. "As I said; there's no chance it won't." He straightened up. "Now, to infiltrate Hogwarts…"

Goyle groaned. This new part of the scheme was his companion's input, and he still doubted it would work.

-?-

"So, let me get this straight," Ron began, sprawled out on the grass at The Burrow next to his best male friend, "Malfoy and Goyle convinced 'Mione and Snape that she was up the duff, she went to stay with him, some crazed woman bypassed his wards and attacked her, she thought she'd miscarried and now Malfoy and Goyle are in deep shit."

Harry nodded and plucked a blade of grass from the earth beside him, twirling it between his fingers as he spoke. "That's about it, yeah. So, Snape's on the war path, 'Mione's trying to come to terms with everything, and Greg's in the doghouse."

"Huh." Ron shook his head. "What a mess, eh? Poor 'Mione…"

"Yeah." Harry sighed. "Sucks that there's nothing we can do to help."

The redhead agreed. "Don't suppose we should go to McGonagall for help?"

The Boy-Who-Lived goggled at him. "You've lost it! Snape'd be fired and Hermione'd never forgive us."

"I don't know…Going to McGonagall seemed like the sort of thing 'Mione would suggest…"

"Not this time, she wouldn't. As much as she likes doing 'the right thing'," here, Harry emphasised the phrase with his fingers, "Hermione likes her relationship with Snape better."

Ron mulled this over for a moment. "I s'pose you're right," he eventually conceded.

"Wish I wasn't."

-?-

"Be careful, you great oaf!"

"I would, if you'd stop steppin' on me toes!"

"Do you want us to get caught?"

There was a sigh.

"Yes, Malfoy, I'm hoping for it."

"You know, Goyle, there's no use being so snide."

They were wearing an invisibility cloak 'borrowed' from Draco's Aunt's chateaux, and, as such, were bent over and scrunched together in order to fit. Sneaking around the castle at Hogwarts in this manner was certainly not as easy as Draco had made it sound.

"Did it ever occur to you that my plan was fine as it was?" The Head Boy responded tersely. "This-" he waved his hand around, dislodging the cloak momentarily and allowing their feet to become visible, "is not necessary."

Draco readjusted the cloak with a huff. "You wanted my help, didn't you? Well, this is me helping."

"Not if we get caught, it isn't."

"But we won't get caught if you'd just shut up and get on with it."

Goyle sighed. "Fine. But if we do get caught, I'll be wantin' the top bunk in our cell."

Draco rolled his eyes. And people said he was melodramatic!

-?-

Hours later, the two Slytherins stumbled into Snape Manor, one clutching two precious vials of potion, the other concealing a time turner.

Merlin, Greg thought to himself, I hope this works.

-?-

For Hermione and Severus, Wednesday morning started as they had known it would. They woke up, showered, dressed and ate breakfast as usual. Then Severus excused himself to leave for the staff meeting and Hermione watched him floo out before she made her way to the lab. There she set about brewing the potion that would confirm her suspected pregnancy and then she could find a way to tell Severus…

Draco and Greg watched her from the shadows, concealed under the invisibility cloak. When she left, they remained, waiting for Professor Matthews to arrive. Sure enough, after another twenty minutes or so, she appeared at the doorway and started to snoop around the room. Draco raised his wand in her direction, but Greg shook his head and urged him to lower it. It wasn't yet the right time. They had to do this properly.

When Hermione returned, they prepared themselves to intervene at an opportune moment.

"Professor Matthews," Hermione greeted her intruder casually, "What a pleasant surprise to find you here. Has the staff meeting finished early?"

The older woman sneered at her, gesturing towards the cauldron of completed potion. "What's this, then?" She grinned wickedly. "A potion to test for…my, my…pregnancy." She tutted in mock disappointment. "Miss Granger, how sad. The world has expected so much more from you…Thankfully, I've always known better."

The boys watched as the Head Girl held her ground and rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Really Professor, even you should realise that Professor Snape has certain potions with which he needs to stock the infirmary. He deemed this one simple enough for me to brew for him. Madame Pomfrey requested a number of fresh vials of various Draughts…I can fetch the list, if you'd like?" She moved to leave, though consciously not turning her back on the wand-toting cow at the other side of the room. The two boys silently applauded her intelligence.

Siobhan's face fell for a moment, before she narrowed her eyes. "You're lying," she accused, now pointing her wand directly at the Head Girl. "Madame Pomfrey doesn't stock this particular potion…"

"Oh?" Hermione couldn't resist sniping, "You've learnt that from experience, have you?"

"How dare you imply-"

"I haven't implied a thing. Your tone implied everything. And I will ask you, Professor, to not accuse me of being dishonest. I have brewed this potion for Professor Snape in his absence."

Gregory closed his eyes and winced. She shouldn't have baited the older woman.

"You little brat," Matthews hissed, wand never wavering, "I should hex you now…"

"But that would be illegal, Professor," Hermione reminded her, her tone infuriatingly gentle. "And then where would you be? Jobless? Certainly not in Professor Snape's good graces…"

That did it. The other witch snapped. "Stupefy," she seethed, sending the spell towards Hermione, whose reflexes caused her to dive out of its path.

"What on earth are you doing, you stupid-"

"Relashio!" A stream of fiery sparks flew from the clearly mad woman's wand, and Hermione rolled out of their way, thankful that they only just grazed her shoulder.

Aiming her wand in Matthews' direction, she cried, "Expelliarmus!" but the other woman was quick to avoid being hit by the spell, and set about returning fire with a strong hex set to squeeze her insides until she imploded. The two boys sprang forth, Draco disarming Matthews, and Goyle knocking Hermione out of the path of the spell.

After Draco had successfully placed the Professor in a body bind, he turned back to see Gregory helping Hermione to her feet. The Head Girl spluttered at them.

"Is this place warded at all?!" She seethed, brushing dirt from her clothes. She glowered at Goyle. "Not that I don't appreciate being saved from that hex, but I demand that you tell me what's going on!"

The near-behemoth rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly. "Right, well, er, I say we'd best go find a seat." He turned to his accomplice. "Can you levitate 'er along with us? I want to keep 'er where I can see 'er."

Draco complied and followed the other two students from the room, the floating body of Hermione's would-be-attacker floating along behind him.

Once in the living room, Gregory opened his mouth to start his long-winded explanation, but was cut off by the sound of his Potions Master's voice.

"Just what is going on here?" Severus asked, taking in the scene. Siobhan Matthews hovered unconscious in a body-bind, while the three students looked as though they were about to start a tea party.

Hermione, still shaken from the surprises of the morning, looked up at him and patted the seat beside her. "I was just about to find out, actually."

Still eyeing his two Slytherins suspiciously, Severus moved to her side. "Well then," he prompted, "Start talking."

Taking a deep breath, Greg started to explain things as best he could. He told the other two of his and Draco's incredibly foolish plan and of his remorse that they had let it go on too long. He explained about the events that had led to him and Draco donning an invisibility cloak and stealing the Time-Turner from Dumbledore's office. Then he procured a vial of potion and handed it to her.

"Disillusionment Draught," she muttered, her mind reeling at all the information he had given her.

He nodded. "Once I remove the stasis charm and the other spells, your body will be back to normal…the potion's to 'elp with the feelings of loss that our little stunt's probably caused…"

She nodded mutely.

He shifted uncomfortably. "Did you…er…need some…er…some sort of…er…girly products? For the…er…the bleeding?"

"Bleeding?" She blinked owlishly at him. "Oh…" her cheeks coloured. "Right. Yes, I'll just be a minute." She rose to her feet and made her way into the nearest bathroom.

Greg retrieved another vial and passed it to his Potion's Professor, who was eerily silent. The man uncorked the vial and inspected the contents thoroughly, before drinking them down in one swift gulp.

After another few minutes of silence, while the potion worked its magic and Hermione had yet to return, Severus glowered at his students. "You were both incredibly foolish. The damage that could have and, as I understand it, was done as a result of your actions is unthinkable! Add to that the fact that you have committed acts of burglary and Time-Travel-"

"Severus," Hermione interrupted, her tone sad, "please. They meant well. Don't be too hard on them."

He scowled. "Be that as it may, they've committed crimes, Hermione. They cannot go unpunished." Neither one of them realised that this conversation, while new to them, was one that they had already had.

She sighed, "And I agree. However, I'm asking that you consider the fact that they were not acting out of spite and, in a round a bout way, they haven't hurt anyone. This time, that is." She sent the two miscreant boys glares of her own. "I feel betrayed by your actions. You turned my own body against me and filled me with hopes and fears that were unfounded. It's going to take a while before I trust either one of you again. I hope you realise that." They both nodded morosely, though Draco looked as though he wanted to argue with her. She sighed. "But I also realise the lengths you've gone to to remedy the situation and to make me feel…somewhat better than I might have. So, for that, I thank you. Now, remove these damn spells. I'm bloated and I'm looking forward to moving past this entire ordeal."

-?-

Later that night, Harry Potter arched up from his position on a large bed, moaning, as his boyfriend's tongue did wicked things to his body. He was vaguely aware of a rapid tapping at the window, and then whimpered in disappointment as the larger boy rose from between his legs to see what the disturbance was about.

"That had better be an emergency, Greg…" he groused, rolling on his side to observe his lover.

Gregory read the note, feeling his arousal diminish with each passing word. He turned back to face Harry, thrusting the short letter into the other boy's face. "It's from Snape."

-?-

Severus waited for the two boys to arrive as Goyle had explained they would. Apparently, running through this discussion now, rather than waiting, was absolutely vital. The Head Boy had actually blushed when he admitted that, should the discussion wait, Potter might be even angrier with him than he would be this evening. Severus shuddered to think what that meant.

It already unnerved him to think that the Head Boy was hiding away in an upstairs room while he was about to address his doppelganger. However, any further division from their original actions might lead to disaster, which was why he had called the Aurors in to deal with the Matthews bint, as he was certain that's what he would have done under any other circumstance. He and Hermione had rehearsed their individual stories and he had sent Malfoy and Goyle away to his private quarters at Hogwarts until the Aurors left the property. From there, the Head Boy had said that it was imperative that his current-time self and Potter should be retrieved and spoken to. Malfoy was being forced to remain out of the way until he could return home without bumping into himself and causing some other disaster.

At nine-thirty the two boys arrived at Snape Manor, via the letter-come-portkey. They had landed in the lounge and Snape was waiting for them as patiently as possible. He gestured towards the couch across from him.

"Mister Potter, Mister Goyle, please sit." They complied and he smiled softly. "Thank you for joining me at such late notice."

"It was nothing, sir." Real-time Greg replied.

"Indeed." Severus motioned to the refreshments table in front of them. "Do help yourselves."

Greg nodded and poured himself a lemonade. "Sir," he began, pouring Harry a glass of the beverage, "If I might ask…why are we here?"

The Potions Master sighed wearily. This entire charade was beginning to get on his nerves. "Just how much has Hermione told you of our relationship?"

"Well," Harry now began, sensing that it was now his place to speak as Hermione's best friend, "She loves you, Professor. Very much."

Severus was inexplicably warmed by the boy's admission that she had, in fact, informed them of her feelings. He nodded. "And of our…physical relationship?"

Harry blushed. "She…er…didn't go into specifics, Sir."

Goyle coughed, trying to smother a laugh. "No, 'arry, Luv, I think the Professor means to ask us whether we knew that 'e and 'Ermione were, at one point, intimate."

"Oh," It was clear that Potter wanted nothing more than to die of sheer mortification. "Then, er, yes…She had told us…" He swallowed nervously. "Why do you ask, Professor? She's not going to get in trouble for telling us, is she?"

Taking pity on the embarrassed youth, Snape shook his head. "No, Potter, Hermione is not in any trouble for confiding in her friends."

"Oh…good."

"I merely wished to make certain you knew of our relationship. I am well aware that you know of her dalliance with Mister Malfoy…however, I wasn't certain she had been completely candid with you about us."

Goyle frowned; something about this conversation told him something was terribly, horribly wrong. "Has something happened, Sir?"

The two boys watched as Snape's expression became cold and guarded. "I believe that is something you will have to discuss with Hermione. She was…attacked earlier today. That is all I can tell you. She has been rather upset…I believed that the presence of her close friends might be beneficial…"

"Attacked?" Harry echoed, horrified. "By who? Is she okay?"

Meanwhile, it was obvious that Goyle was already putting two and two together. Snape wanted to know how much Harry knew about their relationship. He hadn't been questioning him, though, because Snape had already known that he and Draco knew about…dear Merlin! The not-exactly-real baby! And now Hermione had been attacked and she was upset…

Alarm bells began to ring in Greg's head. Their plan had gone horribly wrong! And now he and Draco would have to reveal their plot in order to fix things, which meant that they would be in a lot of trouble.

He sighed. "Luv, why don't you go up an' see to 'Ermione, yeah? I'm sure she'll appreciate it…I'll stay 'ere an' talk with Professor Snape."

Harry, in his innocent enthusiasm, happily agreed to the suggestion and bounded off in the direction of the stairs. He already knew his way around the Manor, having stayed there the previous holidays. Greg turned back to his Head of House, steadying himself for the conversation ahead.

"Professor," he began, forcing himself to meet the older wizard's gaze, "There's something I have to confess…"

Severus studied the boy in front of him, already knowing what was about to be said. "Indeed?"

"I…I've done something terrible, Sir. Draco and I both." He was a Slytherin and thus it came quite easily to him to nominate his co-conspirator.

The professor leant forward in his chair. "Go on."

"Professor Snape, Sir, 'Ermione isn't -wasn't- pregnant."

Severus nodded. "I know."

Real-time Goyle continued to babble. "I…We…we hadn't meant for it to go this far…"

"Mister Goyle, while I enjoy watching you humiliate yourself, I must admit that Hermione and I already know of your foolish scheme and I assure you, there will be consequences."

"How-"

"How we know is none of your concern." Severus glowered. "I expect you to follow in Potter's wake and explain this entire debacle, and your part in it, to him. And to apologise to Hermione while you're at it."

The Slytherin hung his head in shame. "Yes, sir."

Severus merely rolled his eyes. He would be glad when this entire ordeal was over.

-?-

From there on, significant events continued as they were intended to. Real-time Goyle was sent home to mull over what he had done, Harry eventually visited the Weasleys and Hermione and Severus were left to discuss things privately.

When the evening came, Greg and Draco left to replace their real-time counterparts, but not without a warning from their Potion's Professor that he was not finished with them yet.

"So," Draco began, leaning into the hearth of his bedroom fire, "Your next plan's to woo Potter back, I'd wager?"

Greg nodded at his fireplace, where Draco's face had emerged. "Definitely. As far as damage goes, we could have done a lot worse this time 'round."

"Perhaps. We've still got Snape's wrath to look forward to."

The Head Boy sighed. Though he wasn't a fan of being punished for his actions, he understood that he'd brought it upon himself. Making Draco realise that, however, was a lost cause. "Yeah," he eventually replied, "But remember, it could've been a lot worse."

They ended the fire-call on that note and retired to bed.

A/N – Right, well there's the end of chapter 12. Only one more chapter and an epilogue left. Not bad, right? Go on, tell me your thoughts. I'm dying to hear/read them. Hope you enjoyed it on some level.