Chapter 3:
After they had been presented and introduced to the group of guests at the Governor's party, talked with the Governor and met with people he had requested they meet, Kono had met Chin's gaze. Chin had finally nodded after about five glances to him and him shaking his head, telling her nonverbally that it wasn't time.
But, now, it was time.
Kono set down a half empty glass on a server's empty platter. She nodded her thanks to the server and went behind Danny. Her hand crept onto his shoulder.
"Hey, Danny. How's it going?" She whispered into his ear.
Danny turned to her as she offered her ear. "Please, get me out of this conversation." He whispered lowly into her ear.
She grinned and looked to the group. "Excuse us kindly, ladies and gentlemen. I must speak with Detective Williams."
The group of men and women nodded to them both and raised their glasses slightly to them as Danny took Kono's arm and escorted her away. He still spoke with a quiet voice. "Thank you, you are an absolute goddess for getting me away from them."
"Was it really that bad?" Kono asked as she smiled at him.
"Yes! They were asking me how I keep my hair out of my face when I work. I mean, I like talking about my hair, but come on. That's kind of insulting, don't you think? I mean. . .I'd like to think that the Governor threw this party for us to celebrate ours accomplishments. . .not to discuss my hair and the products I use in it."
Kono chuckled as she directed them down the stairs to the floor beneath them that would lead them outside. "Well, it's over now. You owe me one."
"Yes, I do, thank you." Danny said as they stopped at the bottom of the stairs and he turned to her.
"Can I collect now?"
Danny looked at her with furrowed eyebrows.
Kono looked around them and up the stairs. She quickly saw Chin following Steve upstairs. She looked back to Danny. "I need to talk you."
"Yeah? Okay. Ummm. . ." Danny looked around. "How about we go outside? It's quieter."
Kono grinned. Everything is falling into place by itself. Thank you, fate. "Yeah, let's go."
Danny offered his arm and she took it, walking beside him out to the Governor's magnificent gardens with fountains offering a calming mood and lights lit their way as they walked along the cemented path.
"So. . ." Danny paused and turned to Kono as they stopped at a small bench. "What's up? What did you need to talk to me about?" Danny asked as Kono sat.
"Come sit." Kono patted the seat next to her and he did as she said.
Danny looked up to meet Kono's gaze, not knowing what to expect.
"Danny. . .please tell me what is going on between you and Steve."
Danny looked at her with a smile and furrowed brows. "What? Nothing's going on with me and Steve. We're fine. No, we're spectacular."
Kono tilted her head and gave Danny a look. "Oh, please. Spare me the begging and just tell me, please."
Danny sighed and looked at his hands. He swallowed, trying to relief the dryness in his throat. ". . .Things have been strained." He admitted, looking up at Kono. "I don't really know how it all started. We got in an argument one day and. . .since then, it seems like it hasn't stopped."
"Have you talked to him about it?"
"Come on, Kono. Steve is. . .he's. . .well, you've met him. He's a Navy SEAL. Big man. Talking about this isn't something that would come easy. . .or even come around at all. And what would I even say? 'Oh, yeah, babe. We haven't been doing best lately. Let's get to the bottom of this.'"
"That's exactly what you say." Kono murmured looking Danny in the eye. "You want you guys to make it, right?"
"Of course, I do, Kono."
"Alright, then talk to him about it."
Danny gazed at Kono. "For some reason Kono, it's not that simple."
"Okay, so you guys are arguing. Do you notice trends?"
Danny thought about it. "I think so. Arguments seem to happen more at night. . .when were both tired, it's after work, and we just want to chill. But I still see us fighting in the morning, after we had fought the night before."
"Okay. What do you guys argue about?"
"Stupid things. Like the other morning, we were arguing about chores. And who does them."
"Do you feel like he doesn't or does he feel like you don't?"
"I told him he doesn't. . ."
"But. . ."
"But he does! He's so good about cleaning things that need to be cleaned. He does laundry. . .he'll even fold it and put it away. Augh, the way he folds clothes. . ." Danny smiled and sighed out. "And he does dishes and he'll dust. He knows I hate dusting and he'll do it on days when I vacuum." Danny smiled sadly and shrugged. "I don't know why I told him he doesn't. I was mad and. . .frustrated."
"With him?"
Danny shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, I don't get why he's so hell bent on waking up at such early hours. When we were first. . .together, he did it but then, he stopped waking up so early. We got married, he still didn't really do it, but the more we settled, after our marriage, he started up with it again. I think that's the only major issue I need to work with."
"What does he do?"
"He works out. He wakes up at 6 and works out for, like, an hour and a half."
"Which frustrates you more; his working out or his waking up early?"
"Maybe both."
"Why?"
"Him waking up early wakes me up." Danny said simply looking at his feet.
"That can't be the only reason." Kono said with a raise of her eyebrows.
Danny looked at her. He shrugged, slightly embarrassed to confess his other reasons.
"Come on, Danny. Are you jealous?"
"No." Danny answered quickly. "I'm not."
Kono raised her brows.
Danny swallowed. "Well. . .maybe a little. But not enough to be mad at him about it." He sighed and fiddled with his hands. "Look, in our line of work. . .seeing the things we see. . .experiencing the things we experience. . ." Danny paused and shrugged again. "I get worried." He continued to fiddle with his hands in his lap. "I worry about. . .how much longer I have with Steve. I worry about him waking up and going out and never seeing him again. . .not because he up and leaves purposefully, but because of abduction, or killing, or some secret mission, or. . .whatever. It frightens me. I know I can't go on thinking like that because he is his own person and he needs to have time by himself and I can't be with him always, and if I thought that way constantly, I'd drive myself crazy, but after his past and everything we've been through being part of 5-0, I. . ." He paused again. "I just worry." Danny shrugged and continued. "And then. . .especially now, I. . ." He felt a little lump in his throat as he looked up at Kono. "I don't want to lose him." He bit his lower lip as tears filled his eyes. "And everything just feels. . .so hopeless and so delicate. . .almost like it did when things were going south with Rachel. . ." He paused as he wiped the tears from his face. "Except it feels so much worse because. . ." He drifted off, more tears falling over.
"Because?" Kono dared to push.
"Because I never felt this way when I was with Rachel." Danny took in a breath as he wiped his eyes again. "I can't explain what Steve does to me." He paused. "How he makes me feel."
Touched by his words and his emotions, Kono grasped Danny's hand. "You should tell him this." She paused. "Hey, Chin and I have a cousin who was going through some marital issues. They tried this thing where they found twenty-seconds throughout the day to show love for each other. Whether it's kissing, hugging, holding hands, whatever. It helped their marriage. Hell, it saved their marriage, because they were convinced every time that they showed their affection, they found out something new about the other person. They were constantly reassured of at least one thing."
"Which was. . ." Danny spoke after Kono had not said anything.
"Their love for each other. After starting, they never again doubted their love for each other." Kono smiled softly at him.
Danny looked back at her and nodded. "Okay. . .maybe it's something to try."
Kono grinned. "Another thing. Do you think it'll help you guys if you showed some affection at work?"
Danny looked at her. "We don't show affection at work. That's a big no-no for us."
"Why?" Kono asked with a small smile.
"Because. . .when we first got together, we didn't want to change team dynamics. We decided it was best that we kept affection away when we're at work. Leave it professional."
"It doesn't affect us." Kono smiled. "Chin and I actually enjoy seeing you guys together."
Danny smiled. "I know, I know. . .I think that we just wanted to keep things as indifferent as possible at work."
"Is that why you guys never wear your wedding rings at work?"
Danny's stomach dropped and his smile disappeared. He couldn't remember the last time he wore his wedding ring. He eventually stopped because. . .what did it matter? He spent most of the day at work, and since they didn't wear their rings at work, what was the point of going home to put it on for a few hours and then taking it off again?
"Um. . ." Danny swallowed. He felt terrible. He couldn't believe that he went for so long without wearing something that symbolized his and Steve's union. Their love. Their faith in each other. Something that they both treasured. Well, Steve doesn't wear his at all either. . .that's not fair because I don't wear mine. Ah, fuck. . .I've fucked up royally.
"Danny?" Kono paused. "Is that why you don't wear rings to work?"
Danny chewed his lower lip. He eventually nodded.
"You guys haven't worn them for a while, have you?" Kono said quietly.
Danny nodded again.
"Danny. . .those rings are-"
"I know what they are, Kono!" Danny said a little too harshly. He could feel himself begin to well up in tears again.
"Danny. . .change it."
Danny looked up at Kono with tears in his eyes.
"I know you want this to work. There needs to be changes here if you guys are going to make it." Kono said.
Danny nodded and sniffed as he wiped his eyes. "I know. We'll have to see though. I don't know what Steve wants."
"He wants it." Kono murmured.
Danny looked up at her.
She shrugged and nodded. "He wants you."
Danny smiled at her through tears as more trickled down his cheeks.
"Come here." Kono said as she offered a hug.
Danny took the opportunity and wrapped his arms around her body. He sniffed again as the tears made his nose run. He held onto her for a little bit. "Thank you." He whispered.
Kono smiled. "Anytime, Danny." She paused as she pulled from him. "Are you okay?"
Danny nodded as he wiped his cheeks and sniffed again. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'll be okay."
"Okay." Kono nodded. "Hungry?"
"A little, yeah."
"Let's go find some food."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Chin saw Kono look to him. Yet again. Now's the time to do it. Chin thought as he nodded to her. He watched as she set her glass on the waiter's platter and gave him a nod. She sashayed her way to Danny, her hand creeping up his back and his shoulder. Chin grinned at his cousin as he turned to find Steve.
Chin walked past several groups of men and women chatting, drinking and laughing. It was a good night to throw a party. Governor had it right.
Chin looked around the room and spotted Steve talking to a couple. Chin quickly made his way to him.
Steve smiled at the couple and nodded to them as they slipped away. Chin touched Steve's arm as the man took a sip from a champagne glass.
"Good. I finally caught you. Do you have a minute?" Chin glanced over to Kono and Danny as they were walking away from the group Danny had been at.
"Yeah, Chin. What's up?" Steve asking as he put his glass down on a table.
Chin looked over as Kono and Danny started down the stairs to the back yard. "How about we go upstairs? It's quieter, you know?" Chin turned his body to the stairs as he looked at Steve.
"Okay, yeah." Steve nodded as he started up the stairs.
Chin followed him while he straightened his jacket and his tie. They climbed the stairs and found their way to the governor's library area. Not a lot of people were up on this level. The few that were stayed near the stairs.
Chin walked passed them as Steve slowed.
"Hey, maybe we shouldn't. . .no one is over there, and I don't know if we're even allowed past the area near the stairs." Steve looked back uncertainly.
"Since when are you one to follow rules?" Chin grinned at him.
Steve gave him a look that made Chin laugh.
"Okay, okay. If it makes you feel better, the governor okayed all of the upstairs, main floor, downstairs and the backyard. Okay?"
Steve smiled at him and nodded. "Okay." He caught up to Chin and walked beside him as they walked near a door that led out to the balcony.
"You want to go out to the balcony?"
"Yeah, okay. Wherever."
Steve followed Chin out to the balcony. They walked to the railing and stood close to it, leaning on it to look at the view. The night had tucked the light away except for the soft light of the moon. The stars twinkled and shimmered as a few clouds drifted in the sky.
"Lovely night." Chin spoke quietly.
Steve tilted his head at Chin. "Yeah. It is."
"I like looking at the stars, you know? I find the constellations interesting." Chin gazed up at the night's sky. "Well, more of the stories behind them."
Steve gazed at Chin. What was this about?
"There's this constellation called Gemini. According to Greek mythologies, once, there were two brothers that were invincible fighters with nonpareil courage. They were inseparable and fought best when they were near each other." Chin smiled softly as he continued to stare at the stars.
Steve only stared back at him, waiting for the ending. "What happened to them?"
"Legend says that to remind people of them, their courage and togetherness, Zeus put their constellation in the sky after their deaths. It's supposed to be a gift to sailors to help them find their way home." Chin finally looked at Steve.
Steve shrugged. "Okay, nice story, Chin. And the purpose of this tale is. . ."
Chin chuckled. "I know you guys aren't anywhere near brothers, but you and Danny remind me a lot of the Gemini myth."
Steve furrowed his eyebrows like he didn't understand.
Chin shrugged. "You guys both have insane amounts of courage. . .you guys feed off each other's energies like a duo I've never seen. . .you guys know each other's strengths and rely on each other when we get in brawls with the bad guys. . ." Chin shrugged again. "You guys are amazing together."
Steve smiled sadly as he looked out to the sea. "Thanks, but. . .I don't know much about that anymore."
Chin nodded. "I know. I've seen the difference in you two. What's going on?"
Steve turned to Chin. He shrugged. "Danny and I have been fighting a lot. About stupid things. . .things that don't really matter. . .things that aren't the actual problem."
"Like. . ."
"Like chores. . .personal activities. . ."
"So, what is the actual problem?"
Steve sighed. "I don't know." He paused and looked back at Chin. "Chin, you know I love him."
Chin nodded. "I know you do. So, what's the issue?"
Steve chewed his lower lip and shrugged.
"Does he know you love him?"
Steve looked at him. "Well. . .yeah, we're married."
Chin chuckled. "Have you told him recently you love him? And I'm not talking about a quick ending to a phone call or when you leave the house. I'm talking about a full out 'I love you. And here are the reasons why I do' type of I love you."
Steve continued to look at Chin. He shrugged. "I guess I haven't done it in a while. . .but it's implied."
"Steve, even if it's implied, it's always good to hear it." Chin said with a small smile. "It's just nice to hear and nice to be reassured." He paused. "The team always does well with cases, but how far do you think we'd go if we weren't telling each other 'good work' or 'you did awesome today.'? It's just nice to say and nice to hear."
Steve thought about it. It probably wouldn't hurt to say it more. He used to love seeing the light in Danny's eyes when he'd say. He liked saying it to Danny. Because. . .it was like Danny understood the importance of it. The importance of his love. How infrequently he handed it out to others and how special it was. How genuine and truthful it was when he confessed it, when he said it. . .
Steve missed it.
"You like hearing it, don't you?" Chin asked. "You like hearing that you're loved. That you're doing awesome work and that you're doing such a fantastic job with life and with the person you love." He paused. "Right?"
Steve nodded.
"Imagine that feeling when someone tells you how great of a job you did or when Danny says he loves you." Chin looked at him. "You can create those feelings for others. You can do that for Danny." He paused. "Isn't that an amazing thing? Don't you love that about life? Being able to create feelings in others?"
Steve nodded. "I do love telling him I love him. Because. . .it's like. . ." He sighed and shook his head.
"It's like. . ." Chin led.
"It's like he knows how much it means for me to say that. It's like. . .it's special. . .coming from me." Steve smiled softly.
Chin smiled. "Then tell him, Steve. I'm sure he's been missing you saying it."
Steve chewed his lower lip as he thought more about the situation. "There's something else."
Chin waited for him to say more.
"I. . .I've thought about it. . .I-I think I'm. . ." Steve swallowed. "I think I'm scared."
Chin couldn't believe his ears. Lieutenant Commander, ex-SEAL, man of courage and intrepidness, Steve McGarrett? Scared? "Scared?" Chin repeated slowly.
"Yeah." Steve breathed. "I'm not sure what it is. . .I know I'm afraid I'll lose him. . .especially right now with. . .everything. But it seems to be more than that. I don't know what it is."
Chin looked at the man.
Steve shrugged. "I know I need to figure it out, but I don't know how I can."
Chin nodded and they stood silently for a bit. "Hey. I just remembered something. Kono and I have a cousin who was going through some marital issues. He and his wife heard about this practice where struggling couples should just take twenty-seconds during the day to just show love for each other. They tried things like holding hands, hugging, kissing, even just sitting nest to each other on the couch. It helped them out a lot. In the end, it saved their marriage. Maybe you and Danny should see to doing something similar? Find one thing you could do for each other each day. You may like what you see and find." Chin smiled.
Steve nodded. "I think that's worth a try. I'm up for just about anything."
Chin smiled with a nod. "Things will get better. Most things do if you're willing to fight for it."
Steve smiled at him.
"So, now that I was finally able to talk to you about this, how about we find that glorious cousin of mine and your brilliant detective?"
Steve smiled and nodded. "Sounds good to me."
They turned to head downstairs and to find Danny and Kono.