"You and Connie what?!" Pearl exclaimed. Steven couldn't tell if she was angry, happy, or just surprised.
"We… uh, we kissed."
"You… you. What?" Pearl seemed to be having trouble forming any words at all.
'Maybe I shouldn't have told her,' Steven thought to himself. 'She has enough on her mind and I've done what I do best… make it worse.'
Pearl was standing still staring off into space. What on Earth was she thinking about? She could at least say something. Steven realized it was a shock to her but now, in his attempt to abolish the silence, he drove out any hope of a conversation. Not only making it quiet and uncomfortable, but also incredibly puzzling. He'd never find out where she was going now. And, in her current state, it didn't seem like she could ask questions about what happened between him and Connie.
Steven had been lost in thoughts himself and was only pulled out of them by sudden movements from Pearl. He looked up and saw her step on the warp pad. Where on Earth was she going? Literally. Steven reached his hand out and tried to speak but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Maybe she just needed some alone time, like he did.
Steven sat down on the couch next to Lion, and hours passed. He was blissfully unaware of how dark it was outside, though 'blissfully' is quite a bit of a stretch. He stared at a knot in the wood of the wrap around counter. Investigating every little dent and crack. Every twist and turn of the grain. Every discoloration and abnormality. Everything wrong.
He fell asleep at some point during the night, exhausted from the day he had. Lion was wrapped around Steven, protectively, and Steven's head was rested on Lion's pink, fluffy shoulder. It appeared that Lion knew something was wrong with Steven. Every time Steven let out a small whimper Lion's eyes would slide open and his ears would perk up, listening for any sounds of danger. After a few seconds Lion would return to his light sleep, only to be awaken by another small whimper. But, what started out as whimpers, turned into silent cries. Whatever was happening in his "dream" was getting worse. Every time Lion heard these cries he would wrap into a tighter ball around Steven and gently stroke Steven's fluffy hair with his tongue. After one of the more desperate cries Lion pulled a massive, pink paw over Steven's shoulder so Steven laid between Lion's large, muscular shoulders in a shielding cocoon. Steven nuzzled into Lion's sternum and stayed there for the rest of the night. Lion let out a silent purr to comfort Steven through his nightly hardship. He never moved, as long as Steven was comfortable. That's all that seemed to matter to Lion.
Steven woke up in tears. The first thing he heard, and felt, was Lion. He was right there to comfort him. He snuggled into Lion's chest and Lion rested his chin on Steven's head. Steven had another one of his mom's memories. This was in the aftermath of a battle. He was surprised at the pain and sorrow he felt for these complete strangers, but no one deserved to die in such painful ways. He wished he could forget all that he'd seen. These things happened in the past and he couldn't do anything to stop them, but he felt like he had some obligation to help them. Why? Maybe his mom knew them, maybe they were innocent, or maybe being compassionate isn't such a good thing. Maybe he could shield himself from pain if he just didn't feel pain.
He realized how selfish that sounded. Earlier in the day he'd told himself to try and act positive around the gems and now he was telling himself to lock them out? No, it wouldn't be completely locking them out, so much as, not letting them all the way in. Maybe being stoic like Garnet would help. Like keeping his emotions in check. Afterall, if he didn't, he'd have to cry himself to sleep every night and that was not how he wanted to spend the time he had left. Steven resolved to try and be as stoic as he could. That would definitely help with the overload of depressing and sad emotions.
Steven glanced at the clock above the stove and saw that it was around 6:00 a.m. His dad would be awake by now, starting to open the car wash. Should he go talk to his dad now, or wait? Waiting would just delay the horrible, inevitable conversation with his father so Steven decided he'd go now. Steven stood up and went to the restroom to relieve himself. When he went up to the mirror and sink to wash his hands he noticed the immense amount of pink fur on his shirt. Steven sighed. He'd have to change his shirt. He should probably shower too, it'd been a few days.
Steven took a long shower. Why shouldn't he? It was a good time to decompress and it was relaxing. Steven got out of the shower, got dressed, and left to the carwash. This was a conversation he was not looking forward to. By now he realized that telling people about his dreams didn't help him, it didn't help answer any questions, it only caused him and others emotional pain. A lot of emotional pain. He spotted his dad in the distance and began questioning his decision to come a talk to him. This was a lot to talk about, but it is going to happen sometime. His dad saw him a began to approach Steven. Steven took a deep breath and began walking up to his dad as well. There's no turning back now.
Author's Note: I just wanted to let you all know that I seriously considered abandoning this story and I still might. I've got lots of things to do, but I don't want to make any excuses. You've all been really supportive and I wish that I could give you consistent posting, you deserve that, but I can't deliver. Writing has taken a back seat to the other activities I'm engaged in and you really don't deserve such an unreliable author. I can't apologize enough. Anyways, stay fabulous. Until the (possible) next chapter, bye!