Made it! YAY! Hey everyone! I'm back once again with yet another chapter to this story. And again I have something to celebrate. Everyone we have reached the 150th reviewer mark (cheers). So I have invited…you all can please not run!

(Eris: Why?...

Rea: (points brother)

Eris: (smirks evilly and runs after))

Okay, now that my little cuz is entertained I'll introduce my help for this week's disclaimer. Yes, the one that wrote the 150th review, has been reviewing this every now and then and making sure that I had something to laugh about every day. All clap for my dear friend Da KeR MysTeRr (Bellona and Ghost clap loudly as family is still running around)

Da KeR MysTeRr: Joana (Reyavie) doesn't own anythine here (yet...) However, as of now, she only owns the OCs like Aria and Portugal... -nods-
Da KeR MysTeRr: and by anythine I mean anything... -shifty eyes-
Reyavie: ...huh...this was never said
Reyavie: Ker! Not revealing plans please
Da KeR MysTeRr: Oh... Well we can trust them right -glares and holds out sword menacingly-
Reyavie: (grabs sword) You will keep it a secret right? (gives look)
Da KeR MysTeRr: Oh they will or -grins maliciously- they'll have the wonderful experience of spending time with me
Sephy: Oh dear god, Run for your lives!
Da KeR MysTeRr: -smacks him- shut up, Sephy!
Reyavie: (smacks him too) Idiot.
Reyavie: Well, that was fun...you can all read the rest now
Da KeR MysTeRr: yupp yuppp have funnnn -waves excitedly- oh and don't forget to review -glares-
Reyavie: (whispers) I would do so. She can be really evil
Squall: Really? I hadn't noticed
Da KeR MysTeRr: -kicks him- Don't you start too
Reyavie: (raises eyebrow) We really should stop before the bloodshed now
Da KeR MysTeRr: -grins- yeah this isn't rated M after all...okies well -grabs Squall by the collar- uhm, enjoy the story! -waves before dragging him off -
Reyavie: I have nothing to do with this (follows dragging Sephy)

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A.N – Just to inform all that RAC has been officially kicked out from SL's chapters (Thanatos stops running yelling "THANK GOD". Ghost begins to bawl)…oh great. Anyways this is due to the small fact that ffnet has forbidden answers to reviews inside chapters for some reason I can't really understand. But that doesn't mean that I won't answer to any review that is sent to this story. If you are signed on as a ffnet user I will answer over the new messaging system. As for anonymous reviews if an email is added I'll answer through that. If not I'll placed it on my profile. And that's all. Thanks for reading this.

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Welcome to the fortieth-third chapter of Second life… (tries to pat Ghost's back…fails)

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My POV

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Jealousy is a dangerous thing. It can eat its way through you from inside out and if you don't let it go it will eventually destroy you.

Anger is a fickle feeling. It comes and goes as the waves of the sea. You cannot try to hold on to it or you will lose precious time of your life.

Pain is an agonizing emotion. It pulses like a heart, strong and alive. Time is its only healing and even with it, it only fades. It never vanishes.

Those were the words my mom taught me when I was younger.

At the time I was too young to understand them correctly. She used them on different times, to different causes. But I was too young. Stubborn, hot-headed, think-before-acting kind of girl. That changed a lot when I came to Gaea. Not completely but a lot nevertheless.

Curious that, after so long, all those words came to my mind. I don't think I ever gave them so much thought as right now. We can never give credit to something until we finally go through a situation that places that something in front of our eyes. Next time I really hope life doesn't take it literally.

I don't know if I should curse or thank the fact that we're leaving tomorrow. I hate running away from my problems. I hate unfinished business.

I have enough ghosts to haunt me right now and any new problems I can do without.

I also could do without the bruises on my feet. And without the will to find someway to say everything that bottled up inside me when Selphie came…"I want you to think that maybe you aren't needed this time. That they can go through this without you".

Those were the words he said. Again and again they rang in my mind and each time they rang more painfully. Yes, they can go on without me. I know that. I knew that they could do that when I left for Esthar.

Did he ever think that I would leave them if they need me? I am not irreplaceable and I don't think myself as such. I am just one among many.

Maybe I'm not needed…but that will not stop from being there.

To be a friend, to be family, is to be there when we are needed and when we are not. Good and bad times…it doesn't matter. The link between us is all that's important…the loyalty and caring that unite us so strongly. I'm not abandoning them like this. I can't. I won't.

Hyne, why can't my choices ever be easy?

Why does my mind know that she would answer something like "Opps"? Right, she's nuts.

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3rd Person POV

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Squall walked slowly to the officers' area of the dorms, expression emotionless and carefully guarded, or was until he noticed a shadow against one of the walls of the hallway.

Too tall to be anyone of the group, too silent to be anyone of Galbadia except for Alexander which he had left behind when he had left the party. The Commander crossed the few meters that were left to find Joshua.

The Trabian Seed had his arms crossed, eyes closed and was practically immobile. The constant movement of his hand against his arm betrayed his image of apparent calmness.

– "Thomson." – Brown eyes opened slowly and even in the darkness of the night he could see the dangerous glint they possessed, the anger that was brimming inside. There weren't many that could hide emotions from him but the black haired man wasn't even trying.

– "Commander" – The single word was spat acidly but the man didn't move a muscle except for that same hand, continuously moving, fingers continuously beating faintly against his own flesh. Eyes closed once more as Josh placed his head against the cold wall.

If Squall had any idea that he wasn't the reason for the other men's presence it vanished as soon as Josh began speaking. His voice lacked the undertone of anger but the movement of his hand never stopped.

– "I always knew Aria" – Josh said coolly – "Ever since a kid. Her mother had been my mother's friend and ever since I can remember she was there with me. I think the first true memory I have, besides the ones of my family, are of her and hers."

- "Igraine was the most open-minded person I have ever known. She would know what to say in each moment, how to sooth wounds that we didn't even know we had. Aria also does that in a way but she seems to know what we're thinking better. It's almost scary" – A small humourless chuckle left his lips. Squall frowned as he heard the words spoken, waiting for the purpose, any purpose, behind them.

– "Kenneth was a calm man" – Continued the Trabian – "Strong and caring. Even-tempered and one to always wait before acting but to be hurt to prevent anyone he loved from getting hurt. And Lugh…" - He chuckled again, still without any amusement in the sound – "Smart, quick-witted, protective to a fault. When we were younger Aria was his treasure and that didn't change at all when we grew up. It grew with us. She nearly died once, you know?" – The hand finally stopped, his tone almost absent

– "She was five and fell to the lake near our houses. Aria knew well how to swim but her head had hit a rock and she had passed out. I could see the despair in Lugh's eyes when he thought he could have lost her then. He was so afraid." – Dark eyes opened showing all the rage that he had put away from his speech

– "I never expected to see her again after being brought here. I thought I had lost the closest thing to a sister that I had ever had…just like I had lost everything else. When I saw her again I had my sister back, my best friend…but she had changed. Not a lot but she had. Aria is different. Self-sufficient, strong, loving…she never asks for help. She always hides everything inside as if showing her hurt would make her weaker. But I can see through that. I always could." – Joshua uncrossed his arms and finally let go of the wall. His fists were clenched tightly.

That should have been warning enough. It took less than five seconds for one to collide with Squall's jaw with no little strength. Squall fell to the floor harshly, colliding with the wall behind with no little strength, but made no visible move to stand up, dark eyes first almost shocked before…they darkened with a dangerous glint.

– "Let's make something very clear Commander" – Josh's tone had turned colder than ever, seeming as if he was completely unaffected by what he had just done – "The only reason why I don't have my sword at your throat right now is Aria. For some very strange reason that I really can't phantom she actually cares for you. Go figure. So get a clue and fix whatever shit you managed to do. Because one thing I will tell you" – His eyes narrowed visibly.

– "My threat still stands. You dare to hurt her and, Commander or not, I will kill you" – And without a single word, without even a look, the Trabian turned away from him and walked down the hall, footsteps loud enough to show that all his anger was still there.

Squall said nothing as he stood up. Josh's words were still echoing in his mind, the sheer caring he held for the younger girl almost palpable in them. He stayed in the same place for several minutes until the silence suddenly became oppressive even to him ignoring completely the pain in his jaw. His feet abruptly changed his previous path.

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The room was silent as Squall opened the door, silent except for the faint sound of breathing. Blue walls seemed almost grey in the barely existing light that managed to get inside the compartment and he didn't move until his eyes got themselves used to the darkness. That didn't help him to evade the pillow that found its way to his head.

– "Whoever it is get the fuck out" – Requested Aria's muffled voice – "I'm fucking tired, have a splitting headache and just wanna sleep. So piss off." – Her arms moved to hide her head under another pillow before the movement ceased once more.

Squall sighed inaudibly as he looked at the covered form of the girl. She really wouldn't make it any easier for him. Trying not to make any sound that would gain him another projectile Squall walked to the bed and sat on the edge.

The shift of weight definitively called Ariadne's attention because on the next second the pillow was moving and sea green eyes were opening.

– "I said…" - Aria stopped when she saw who her visitor was – "Fuck" – She smacked her forehead loudly before wincing.

Squall heard a muttered curse followed by a comment about stupidity. Then her eyes turned to him once more and in them he could read weariness.

– "Squall, I'm not really up to argue right now ok?" – Aria said sternly massaging her temples – "I'm really tired and want to get some sleep." – Squall merely pulled the pillow away from her face as well as her hand.

– "Good" – He replied – "Because I am not here to argue with you." – A brown eyebrow rose slowly before Ariadne pulled herself upwards and sat against the headboard.

She was wearing a T-shirt that seemed extremely huge on her body and a pair of shorts. Her brown hair tumbled around her in a complete mess as she yawned tiredly. The sight made him smile unnoticeably.

– "Sure. Whatever. Esuna" – She mumbled sleepily casting the spell almost instinctively – "So? Do share what you're thinking Commander."

In barely moments the Seed that he had met so many times in battle took the place of the girl in front of him. And looking at her the words he wanted to say eluded him. Words. They were always what he did wrong.

– "I know you want to help them." – Sea green eyes opened more, no trace of sleep left in their depths – "Through all the time I have known you, you never stayed behind." – Squall frowned at the open window as if speaking to the glass was easier than facing her.

– "I trust you." – He continued severely – "Hyne knows I do. But every time you fight you tend to disregard your own safety. The fight in Deling, the return to Balamb…everything that happened until the injury in the last battle." – A soft snort brought his attention back to her. Aria had crossed her arms, her expression clearly saying that she thought that inconsequential.

– "You are proving my point" – Squall said calmly. Emerald flashed for a moment before fading once more.

– "Nice" – And the sarcasm she never let go of had returned to her speech – "You came here to prove that you were right. I'm really thankful. Now can…" - His hand covered her mouth lightly hoping that she would not repeat what she had done days before. This time he wasn't wearing gloves

– "I came here…" - Squall sighed before letting go and Aria remained silent.

– "I apologize. I had no right to demand you to stay behind." – Her eyes widened slightly in what he supposed to be surprise. – "Or to intervene in your mission" – Ariadne cocked her head faintly, emerald eyes narrowing.

– "And you came here just to tell me what I know already? You can so be sure of that Squall! I don't need a bloody babysitter! – She stated harshly. Squall gave her no answer. Her smaller hand grabbed his in an attempt to gather his attention.

– "Listen to me once and for all! I don't plan on dying anytime soon" – Her voice carried certainty as she answered his earlier question, emerald eyes hard – "That was what I said to Ultimecia that day and I keep every word of it. Injuries" – She opened the other hand showing the red-turning white scar that would mark her for the rest of her life – "Are just that! Injuries. Pain that eventually fades and its marks…matter nothing on the long run" – She smiled faintly for some unknown reason before shacking her head.

– "I won't stay or promise I won't do everything in my power to help my country. Because it is my country" – Aria assured – "But one thing I can assure you of. If that if we need help you'll be the first one we'll call." – He gave her a dry look that was met with mock innocent don't-you-believe-me?

After that her expression turned even sterner and it was her time to avoid his eyes as she closed hers and leaned once more against the wood behind her.

– "Where are we going from here Squall?" – Aria asked. Silence fell once more.

Her question was needed, one that even he had been wondering about ever since that first day. That didn't mean he had an answer. His fingers touched the skin of her hand, that still hadn't let go, feeling the calluses that had developed on the palm after years of handling her blades and the tender skin that was still healing.

– "I'm not letting go" – Ariadne didn't seem to react but he felt her hand slowly doing the same he had been doing.

– "This is going to be so hard, you know?" – She murmured opening her eyes. Sea green met dark blue. – "We'll hurt each other so much" – Squall's free hand came to rest on her cheek.

– "We always seem to say the wrong words" – He said thoughtfully with bitter amusement – "And always at the wrong times."

– "We always seem to argue too" – Aria continued with a sad smile – "We would probably make better friends." – A sigh left her lips.

– "Probably." – Squall conceded with a sharp nod – "We should probably give up already" – And at that moment her hand grasped his with more strength and her eyes held the same determination he had seen countless times in battle.

– "Probably" – Aria repeated softly – "But I only fall down fighting."

She was waiting. For an answer, a comment, something that only he could tell her. Squall could see that. So he did what she wasn't expecting…Aria's very undignified yelp was cut short as he pulled her to him covering her lips with his.

The remaining rational part of his mind whispered that that seemed a very good way to keep her quiet, something that was nearly impossible when Aria was in a ranting phase. The feeling of her hair beneath his fingers, the warmth of her body, the touch of her hands…

- "Why do people depend on each other? In the end you're on your own. I'm fine by myself now…"

Squall remembered the day he said those words. It seemed a lifetime before. He pulled away slowly to see bright sea green eyes opening, a small smile breaking on her expression

– "On my own?" – He thought – "By myself?" – Another look and he smiled faintly.

– "We'll fall together then" – Aria just looked at him as if she wasn't too sure of what she had heard. Then slowly she leaned forward and embraced him gently.

– "You know" – Began Ariadne's voice somewhere near his ear, her tone content but with an undertone of relief – "You better have the idea of the mess you just got yourself into well pounded into that mind of yours."

– "Literally" – He bit back that particular word knowing that Ariadne would probably not enjoy the information.

Then Aria pulled back, an extremely stern look marring her features before…she punched his shoulder. Hard.

– "And no more flirting with Rinoa especially in front of me you jackass." – Her tone booked no arguments. Squall raised an eyebrow making her sigh in frustration.

– "You can't be that oblivious Commander" – Aria declared. His eyebrow almost hit his hairline.

– "What are you talking about?" - Squall frowned somewhat lost.

– "Dear Hyne" – She muttered – "You are actually that blind." – Then Ariadne looked at him for a moment before laughing out loud, shoulders shaking with her mirth.

– "Are you going to tell me why are you laughing anytime soon?" – She managed to stop, hands rubbing her eyes.

– "Oh, I prefer to let you figure that one out by yourself" – Aria declared smirking – "A pity I won't be around to see that. I'll have to bribe Selph…nah, she would blackmail me again. Quis then." – A deep yawn thankfully broke her plotting.

– "You should rest" – Squall's advice was met by a roll of eyes.

– "I was trying to do that when you came" – Her weariness showed once more – "Trying being the key word here." – All her shields were down and Squall saw the worry Aria was feeling. She knew well the dangers that were probably waiting for her but she couldn't back down. He had just placed more wood in the fire.

– "I'll fulfil my promise" – Aria said steadily somewhat out-of-the-blue – "Just don't doubt me. Trust in me…so I can trust myself...alright?"

Silence filled the room once more and neither moved to break it. It was needed…they both needed it. Also in silence Squall hugged her again feeling a quiet yawn against his chest, eyes already fighting to remain open. He didn't move while he thought about her words…and time passed without Aria move one single bit. She had fallen asleep, completely dead to the world, eyes closed and breathing evened.

Squall watched her, knowing that she would not be with him on the next day, that she would be half a continent away from him where he couldn't help her. The marks of their ordeal in the future had barely faded, the magical exhaustion that had taken her upon arrival had not disappeared completely…but she would not stay behind. He felt Aria shift closer to him in her sleep before stilling once more.

Blue eyes closed silently as he allowed himself to drift into unconsciousness as well. Concerns could wait until morning.

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Not the best chapter I've ever written and possible somewhat too cheesy for my own tastes but I wanted to get them on a steady stage before continuing. Anyways I would like if you could give me your opinion on it. Suggestions and comments are very welcome, random nonsense too as I'm trying (and failing) not to look at my genetics book (evil things…) and errors that you might have found that need correcting and please just write. (hits brother that is still cheering). So REVIEW!

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Next chapter: Strategies, lack of sense of opportunity and…saying goodbye…(wow, that seemed important)

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See ya all next Friday

Reyavie