Here's a splash of drama, my drama llama needed fed. He was starving and I don't condone violence towards animals.
"I'm going to have to tell Dan and Trix soon. It's getting really hard to hide."
The pair continued to make their way down the sidewalk on their way to an office building to pick up records of a previous employee who had been found murdered three days ago. Lucifer, dressed to perfection in simple white and black, looked down at the woman next to him as he popped a piece of gum in his mouth. "I should say so you're getting quite bi- beautiful. Very beautiful."
"Nice recovery," she grinned. "I know I'm getting bigger, I'm going to need to get some maternity pants soon. Actually kind of excited for those, it's like wearing secret pajama pants that no one knows are pajama pants."
"I'll take your word for that," he deadpanned.
After thanking him when he held open the door to the building for her she pointed to his mouth. "Are you chewing gum? I don't think I've ever seen you do that."
"You haven't," he smacked. "I despise it, terribly messy and unattractive habit and it makes you look like a cow chewing cud."
"Then why are you chewing it?"
Smiling warmly at the woman behind the desk he flirted just enough to get them upstairs to where they needed to be without an escort. "Because I'm trying to stop smoking so you don't upchuck somewhere I can't escape, like the car. It's called self-preservation." He paused when she stopped walking and turned to see what was the matter.
"You stopped smoking, for me?" she asked in wonderment.
He stuck his hands in his pockets and scoffed. "Did you not just hear me? I did it for me as I don't want you retch-" The words on his lips died when Chloe wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly, tears in her eyes. "What did I say wrong now?"
"Nothing. Just- thank you." She wanted to add more, like how she knew it was a big deal for him to put her needs before his own, or how they both knew the real reason he stopped wasn't simply for the sake of his clothes but because she hated getting sick, but she didn't because sometimes he himself didn't even realize why he did things.
He cleared his throat uncomfortably and gently pried her off. "No need to make a fuss about it."
"Right, sorry," she sniffed and tried to pull herself together. These emotions were starting to wear her out. "Back to what I was saying, I think I'm going to tell Dan tonight and Trix tomorrow morning since she's having a sleep over at a friend's tonight."
He smoothed down his coat and pulled his sleeves taut. "Well make sure to use small words and speak slowly, perhaps a picture book would be of assistance."
They reached the office and to both their dismay it was a male secretary and he was having none of Lucifer's charm. He instructed them to have a seat and someone would be with them as soon as they could.
Chloe could have pulled the LAPD card and pushed back but her feet were slightly swollen today and she could use a break in the air conditioning. She sat down sideways to keep her feet up on the chairs and reduce the swelling, Lucifer not even second glancing as he was getting used to her behavior.
He stretched out his long legs and noticed her biting her fingernails, her nasty habit that stemmed from nerves. Was his little spitfire nervous to tell her ex? Impossible, it had to be more dread than anything. "Would you like me to be there, when you tell the Douche?"
Pulling her middle finger away from her teeth she looked across the space at the man sitting opposite of her. "You don't have to I'm a big girl."
"I didn't say you weren't. I merely asked if you would like me to accompany you." She was so stubborn sometimes and he could tell she wanted to accept but her pride wouldn't let her. He could relate. "Never mind, I'll be there no matter what. I want to see his face when you burn his hopes and dreams to the ground."
"Don't say it like that! You're making me feel like a terrible person!" Her expression went from slightly distraught to almost panicked. "I have to pee."
With a start she was up and gone leaving Lucifer to continue waiting on his own, mind wandering to this evening. He really hoped the Douche didn't upset her too much because ripping off his arms and legs might make it a little too stressful for Chloe and he had read stress was bad for the baby. On the other hand if the man acted like the douchebag he was he would have the opportunity to really unleash on him without repercussions. Well no sense in thinking about it too much right now, he'd deal with it when it happened.
Chloe decided her house was the best for this conversation, against Lucifer's insistence they use the penthouse to really rub it in his face. She had to remind him that she wasn't trying to upset Dan, just inform him of the current happenings. Lucifer had replied that perhaps she could develop a craving for his enemy's tears.
She was starting to fidget, moving about the kitchen and scrubbing every surface, making sure every cabinet and drawer was organized. Tonight was going to be stressful, that she knew, but how stressful was unseen. Dan would be mad, hurt, jealous, and who knows what else. Leaning over to grab another paper towel she found her stomach was already getting in the way and couldn't believe Dan hadn't noticed yet, yes she hid it but not excessively so while not at the station.
"You're going to scrub a hole in the counter."
Turning, she saw Lucifer standing by the bay window sipping on a glass of whisky, left hand stuck in his pocket and not a care in the world. How was he not anxious? Oh yes, he thrived on drama. "I know."
"Everything will be just fine, don't fret-"
He could be so sweet sometimes, like right now trying to alleviate her concerns.
"-All you're doing is ripping apart his very soul."
It really was touching how he-
"What?" she gasped in horror. "Don't say that! Why would you say that? Now I feel guilty!"
Lucifer took a longer drink and set his glass down, brows knitting together. "Guilty? Don't ever feel guilt for anything you do, it's a wasted emotion and directly tied to pity which is just as bad if not worse. You did it, own it."
"That's actually not bad advice," she conceded. "Kind of."
A car door closing met their ears and Lucifer's grin turned shark like. "Let the show begin."
Chloe shot him a glare. "Would you stop? You're like a dog, sorry eagle, marking his territory."
The door opened and Lucifer bristled, did the Douche always just barge in here without knocking? He didn't even live here anymore, the audacity of this man. Only he himself could come in unannounced and uninvited. The man's face looked optimistic when he set eyes upon Chloe, eyes filled with hope that Lucifer couldn't wait to extinguish. Yes destroying this one would be fun.
Chloe closed the door and could feel the air change, thickening and becoming suffocating, and knew Dan had noticed Lucifer. Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to have the instigator here, he made everything a bigger deal than it needed to be but then again so did Dan so a large part of her was thankful for his company this evening. Hopefully this wouldn't turn into a Maury episode.
"What are you doing here?" the male detective spat. Turning to Chloe he asked again, "What's the psycho doing here?"
She could have tried to defend him and tell Dan he wasn't a psycho but that would have been a lie, he definitely had some mental issues. Oh God, what if the baby inherited them? Wrong place wrong time to think about that. "He's my partner Dan, he's here a lot."
"Yes Daniel, I'm her partner," Lucifer smirked; smile only growing wider every second.
Chloe shot him a look before looking back to Dan, trying to stay between the two men to not make one think she was ganging up on other. "I asked you over so we could talk about the separation. It's coming up on a year and I want a-" she waivered a bit, the words harder to say than she thought they'd be. "A divorce. Things never got better for either of us and we've proven we can still let Trix grow up in a good environment so I think it's time."
Dan looked shocked. "Wow Chlo, that was not what I was expecting to hear, I'll be honest with you." His eyes jerked to Lucifer and back. "Is that why he's here? Are you divorcing me because you're screwing your partner? Jesus!"
She saw Lucifer try to speak but hurriedly replied before he could; there was no telling what was going to come out of his mouth. "It doesn't matter why he's here and we're not together Dan. The separation was before Lucifer even came into the picture and the divorce is between you and I."
"Well," Lucifer purred. "It does involve a few more individuals."
Dan frowned, "Who? Sure as shit not you."
The Devil was half bathed in shadow, the darkness making his features look sharper and eyes darker. There was something about him that you only caught every so often, a feeling of instinctual fear, something that made your skin crawl. Dan was starting to feel it right now. "Why the children of course. And me."
Chloe sighed, this was it.
Dan looked confused and irritated. "If you're not together than why the fuck is he involved and what children? There's Trix, that's it."
She could do this, she'd stared down people twice her size. She'd even managed to take Lucifer down a few notches, this was totally doable. "I'm pregnant Dan."
The silence had never been so loud and while pain was written on two faces, pure glee was on the third.
"You're what?" Dan asked in a low voice before groaning. "You're pregnant? Oh God no. God no Chloe. Please don't tell me it's his. What did you do?"
She swallowed and crossed her arms defensively, "It was a one time thing."
"Three," Lucifer interrupted, holding up three fingers, eyes sparkling with delight. "Three time thing."
"Not helping," she growled and decided just to go for it. Unzipping her jacket she slipped it off and set it on the counter. "I'm pregnant Dan and yes, it's his. I didn't lie though, we're not together."
The man could only stare at the bump, his face growing red and breathing becoming harsher. Spinning he pointed to Lucifer. "You fucking bastard! You did that weird mind thing on her didn't you? She didn't want you, you made her want you!"
"I did nothing of the sort," Lucifer replied calmly and finished his drink, posture relaxed yet spine erect as always. "And really, stop shouting Douche, it's very unbecoming."
Dan pulled out his gun and Lucifer's eyes widened; lead projectiles and him weren't mixing well recently. Perhaps the Douche had bigger stones than he thought. "You fucked my wife. I should shoot you right now."
"Dan!" Chloe shouted furiously. "Put your gun down! You're not shooting Lucifer. We're over Dan, we tried and it didn't work. We're getting a divorce and the baby has nothing to do with you, I just thought out of respect I should tell you."
"Respect?" Dan growled, gun trained on Lucifer but eyes drifting to her. "Where was that respect when you slept with him while married to me? Not once, not twice, but three times! I thought you were a better person than that. I love you, apparently the feelings not mutual anymore." Shaking his head he let out a heavy sigh and holstered his gun. "I'm disappointed in you."
Tears were gathering in her green eyes and when she winced and rubbed at her stomach Lucifer knew it was time to step it, the show was over. It was quite thrilling to watch her unintentionally emasculate him. Walking over he slid between them, forcing Dan to take a step back at the close proximity and smiled condescendingly down upon him. "Let's have a chat hmmm? Just you and I, man to man."
Dan nodded, hands clenching into fists. "Yeah, outside sounds good."
"Lucifer," Chloe warned.
Dan stepped out onto the porch, Lucifer following him and turning with a smug grin. "Relax darling, we're simply talking."
The moment they were off the porch Dan punched Lucifer, the Devil's head barely moving, and screamed through his teeth in pain.
"Yes well now that that's out of the way," he sighed with an eye roll, completely unfazed by the hit. He caught the rapidly approaching fist before it could meet his face again and squeezed, Dan gasping in pain. "I could see how this would be upsetting to you but you're going to move past this, because you have to. You and Chloe are done, she's mine Daniel," he hissed before shaking his head and laughing. "I mean really, how have you not noticed she's pregnant? You claim to love her yet it's been twenty-two weeks and you still had no clue."
Dan jerked his hand back when Lucifer let it go and pulled his weapon back out, pointing it at Lucifer's heart. He wanted to pull it so badly, to remove this giant pain in the ass that had shown up out of nowhere and derailed everything.
Lucifer grinned maliciously. "Go ahead, shoot me because that'll really fix the situation won't it Douche? Yes Chloe will have to run back to you after you murder the father of her child." His face dropped, "Oh no wait, you'll be incarcerated. Perhaps you could get a tattoo of her name from your cellmate."
"It's starting to look real worth it," Dan ground out.
"You think it's bad now?" Lucifer asked. "Go ahead, do it but know I will find my way back to drag you down to Hell myself. The Devil's very real Daniel and he holds grudges worse than you could ever imagine."
The man waivered and eventually dropped the gun, shoulders hunched in defeat as the fight left him. "You bastard. You won, you always win."
"I do," Lucifer smirked, sliding his hands in his pockets. "Because I don't play the game Douche, I invented it."