A/N: Thank you all for reading, reviewing, favoriting, and alerting! So sorry for the delay, took the weekend off from writing then got super sick. No bueno. I'm good now, mostly, and will try to have the next chapter up tomorrow.

"Lucifer?"

The Devil, who had been napping contently on Chloe's couch, jerked awake harshly at the soft voice and if not for his preternatural reflexes he would have found himself on the maroon rug situated under the coffee table. "What? Is it happening?" he cried, only half-coherent.

He was tired, no scratch that, they were exhausted. It was nearing the end, Chloe had in fact passed thirty-nine weeks yesterday, and because she couldn't get comfortable and sleep neither could he. Lucifer was a selfish bastard and more than once had debated just telling her good luck and returning home to sleep for three days straight but every time he tried he just couldn't desert her. She was miserable and though he loved watching people suffer this particular human didn't deserve it so he stayed despite this being anything but fun.

The detective couldn't breathe, or really eat. She couldn't bend over, could hardly get up once sitting, and couldn't sleep. "No it's not time, chill out. I was just wondering if you could hand me the tv remote."

Lucifer pushed himself upright and yawned, leaning forward to grab the controller and holding it out for her to grab. Blankly staring at the wall he jiggled it a bit and huffed when she still hadn't taken it from him. "Take the bloody thing, you wanted it!"

Chloe was trying to reach it but her range of motion was about a zero right now. "I can't!" she snapped. "Hand it to me!"

The remote was thrust into her hand sassily as Lucifer stood and walked past her to the kitchen, grabbing his cigarettes and heading for the door. "Don't do anything while I'm outside, like attempt to move or give birth."

"I'll try to refrain," she grumbled. Tensions were running extremely high; the stress of the impending birth coupled with no sleep was wearing them down.

Lucifer stepped out onto the porch and after lifting his hand to guard the flame from the lighter lit the stick in his mouth and sucked in a deep breath. He couldn't do this much longer, frustrations were building and he had no way to let them out. There wasn't anyone around to yell at or torture, no one to physically attack, and no sex since Chloe refused and he wasn't even entirely sure he wanted it with her right now for fear of being attacked, and not in a good way. His face lit up and after sucking in a long breath he snuffed out his smoke and stepped out onto the lawn, eyes closing and hands meeting in front of his chest.

"What brother?" Amenadiel asked with a sigh before his head snapped back from a rapid right hook.

Lucifer grinned widely as he waited for his sibling to retaliate, this would do nicely.

"What was that for?" Amenadiel cried in shock, shaking his head. "Why do I even ask, you don't even have a reason do you?"

"Nope!" he smirked and swung again, knocking his brother back a step when his fist connected with his cheek.

The angel looked at him flatly, he knew what this was. Lucifer did this often, using him as a way to lash out since he was the only one Lucifer didn't have to pull punches with besides Mazikeen. Now if he were a kind big brother he may just spar and leave it at that but Lucifer punched harder than you'd think and he had to actually focus to not get taken out and if he had the opportunity to level the loud mouth he was going to take it. There wasn't true anger this time so there at least seemed to be a chance both could walk away without death threats. "Getting nervous about the birth I see," he smiled tightly, catching Lucifer's jaw.

"The Devil doesn't get nervous," he argued, grabbing his brother and jerking his head down, knee rising to smash into his nose.

Amenadiel chuckled, wiping at the blood on his skin and kicking the thin man in the stomach. "No you're calm, this is completely normal," he sighed with an eye roll. "So what's his name going to be?"

"As if you don't know you Peeping Tom! You're the nosiest being in existence!" he spat, swinging and missing. "Well if you're playing dumb it's Luken John."

The dark skinned man nodded, "Light. Fitting, I wouldn't expect anything less from you seeing as you're the most egotistical ass in the universe. Not a bad choice, I thought you'd go for Damien," he grinned, connecting a hit with Lucifer's ribs.

"I tried, Chloe didn't approve," he wheezed, clutching his side and trying to pull in a breath. Using the lull in movement and conversation he charged his brother and caught him twice before being elbowed in the head hard enough to knock him down to the earth.

"And you allowed a mere human to take the choice away from you? I'm surprised brother, perhaps you care for her more than I realized," he chuckled, eyes widening as his legs were swept out from under him.

Both lay on the grass, panting and bleeding but relaxed and almost happy. "She's irritating and immune to me, stubborn and more trouble than she's worth most days. Not to mention she's rude, sarcastic, and demanding. I love her."

"She's you, of course you love her."

Lucifer rolled over and kicked his older sibling in the leg. "Quiet feathers."

"You know I'm right," he groaned, pushing himself up to sitting position and watching the Devil try to do the same. "I look forward to meeting my nephew."

He pushed himself up as well, expression strangely vulnerable, hands idly plucking at the grass. "What if I turn out like dad did with us?"

"You won't," he instantly replied, tone filled with conviction. Lucifer never opened up and for a long time he thought he was incapable, that he may spontaneously combust if he attempted, yet here he was and he wouldn't let him down at this pivotal moment. "You don't see it but our father loves you and you know how we felt when he put his focuses elsewhere, you won't do that to Luken. You know how it feels."

Moment over Lucifer jumped up and looked towards the house, "Well I do believe it's obvious who the winner is. Me."

Amenadiel didn't argue, he'd let him have this for today, no point in roughing him up too much or getting beat up himself. "I'll be by when the child's born, introduce him to Uncle Amen. Let him know who he should strive to be like."

"No, just- no. Go away. I'm done with you."

With a gust he was alone and the tension was gone. With a pleased sigh he headed back for the house and stepped inside the door.

"Lucifer?"

"Is it time?" he shouted nervously from the kitchen.

"Stop asking me that!" she snapped. "Come here."

Walking swiftly back into the living room he lowered himself onto the couch and raised his brows. "What now your highness?"

Chloe wanted to snap at him but paused when she noticed bruising on his cheekbone. He was outside for fifteen minutes, how did he manage to get in a fistfight? "The hospital I'm going to is a Catholic one. Will you be ok there? Like can you get in?" she wondered, voice hesitant.

"If there's a door then I think we'll both be just fine," he replied in confusion. "How do you usually enter buildings?"

A laugh bubbled out of her, the first one in a few days. "I meant since you're the Devil."

Lucifer scoffed, "You mean since I'm supposedly an unholy monster from Hell am I biblically allowed to enter sacred places? Is that what you're asking?"

"Well- yeah," she affirmed, looking uncomfortable.

Instead of getting angry at her very wrong assumption, the scuffle with Amenadiel had worked wonders; he grabbed the remote from beside her and muted the tv. May as well get this correct now. "No matter how badly I don't want to be my father's son I'm still an angel, still a divine being. Plus there's no rules about who can go where, no magical barriers to keep out the demonic riff raff. That's the stuff of tv and movies."

It was quiet while he waited for her response but he didn't get one he expected. She stayed quiet but a small noise made him jerk back in disbelief at her blushing face. "Did you just break wind?"

His tone was so offended, his expression so displeased that she didn't even try to hide her amusement. Head back she laughed almost hysterically, laughing harder when he scooted to the opposite end of the couch. "I'm sorry, I can't help it!"

"Well try! Really, it's very uncouth."

She continued to giggle. "Oh you know what? I-" she broke off and grabbed her stomach, eyes widening. "I just had a contraction. This might be it, I might be in labor."

"What?" Lucifer cried, hands white knuckling the couch. "No, I'm- I'm not ready! Stop it. I command you to stop!"

After an unimpressed glare she slowly shook her head. "Almost forty weeks and you still haven't learned anything. I can't just stop and would you calm down? It's just contractions we still have a while."

"No I will not calm down!" he stressed, jumping to his feet to pace. "And how do you know you have a while? What if he just pops out? You've lied to me once about the popping."

Narrowing her eyes she held out her arms sarcastically, "Then it'd be the easiest birth on the planet." She watched him nervously pace through the entire room and sighed, "Help me up."

Lucifer timidly approached and held out his hand, trying to stay as far away as possible from her, a grimace on his face as if she should have the baby at this very second. "So what now?"

"Right now I'm going to have some lunch," she huffed, trying to walk to the kitchen only to be stopped by a tall thin frame. "Do not. Ever. Stop a pregnant woman from eating."

He instantly slid to the side but followed closely, "So you're fine, fully functional and all? What's the big deal about birth then if you can just putz around making sandwiches and such?"

Chloe swung open the fridge and began to look through the containers trying to figure out what she wanted and set everything down on the counter. Seeing Lucifer was still waiting for an explanation she leaned over and thumped him in the side of the head. "That's what it feels like now."

His eyes narrowed and he prepared himself for a quick retreat suspecting there would be more.

Popping a grape into her mouth she pointed to his leg, "Because I need you in one piece today I'm not going to shoot you again but you remember how that felt? It's something like that, on and off, for hours." Grabbing another grape she smirked, "It's like trying to fit this," her finger moved to just below his belt, "through that."

That one got through to him.

Lucifer recoiled, "Why? Why would you do that to yourselves? Why hasn't the human species died off ages ago?"

"I didn't do this to myself, you did and we haven't died off because women can handle it. Unlike men, and the Devil," she informed him smugly. "Woman can take quite a bit of pain."

He walked around the counter and grabbed a glass and the bottle of whiskey he had stuck in the back of the cabinet last week and poured himself a drink. "I am aware of that. Maze never was able to break my mum."

The detective wanted to ask why she was down there in the first place but he never spoke of his mother so she could only assume he didn't want to. Plus they had themselves to worry about today. She smiled brightly, excitement seeping into her tone. "Are you ready for this today? You're going to be a dad."

Instead of nodding, looking elated, or hugging her Lucifer swallowed the rest of his drink in a gulp and pursed his lips. "Things you never thought you'd hear someone say for $300 Alex," he mumbled.

"Oh come on, you're excited and you know it. You get to meet him today! Luken John Morningstar, son of Satan," she laughed. "What if he comes out looking just as unimpressed as you do all the time? He'll either come out with a cocky smirk or a grimace."

Lucifer scoffed, "I have a wide range of facial expressions, not just those two."

"Those two are the ones you see the most!" she argued, still laughing. "First words will be bloody hell. He'll be wearing a suit by the time he's two. Alcoholic when he's five."

"Very funny," he grumbled, trying and failing to hide a smile. Perhaps she was right, maybe he was excited. Something never thought possible was going to happen today, all these months of waiting were coming to an end. He was going to be a father by this evening, was going to have a son. A child. Someone that depended on him for things. He'd have to be more responsible. Have to focus on something other than himself. Couldn't drink as much. Couldn't smoke around him. He'd have to be alone with him. Take care of him. "I don't want it!" he cried suddenly. "Don't let it out!"

Chloe dropped her face into her hands, this was going to be a long day.