can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me
Max sits in his room. His parents are passed out on the couch again, after yet another round of arguing. The rain it his window as he sighed. Six months later and the pain was still there. Max could take the arguments, even the fact that Justin had thrown himself into his work so long as Alex was here. She wasn't, she was gone. Dead.
What hurts the most was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin' what could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was trying to do
They were close, not many people realized. It was the little things they did for each other, skipping dates or days out to comfort each other. He remembered the day she left, Max was the last one to see her. He saw her walk away and he knew he should've gone after her. Maybe, just maybe he could've saved her. That would've been his biggest regret.
It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doing it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
He sees her everywhere. At home, school, the sub shop. She haunts her. Mason and Harper felt it to. Alex was everywhere and she was unwilling to leave. He tries to force a smile, act like everything is ok. He attempts to show her friends that this isn't what she would want. He almost convince himself. Yet the façade was slipping, his smile dipped, he lost contact with himself. He was slipping further into insanity. He just wished he could turn back time. Tell her she wasn't worthless, she was one of the only people that got him. She was his big sister and he wouldn't be him without her, his partner in crime.
What hurts the most was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin' what could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was trying to do, oh
She never knew how much he cares. They weren't the type of siblings that could express there selves that way. They did it through pranks and teasing. Max wished he had told her that he loved her, maybe she wouldn't have died then. He knew letting his big sister go was a mistake. He wished he knew what would've happened. He wished he could've saved her. Alex Russo may have died but the one person who would always regret that day the most was Max Russo.