Hello friends! I have a couple notes for you before you read!
First, I'm sorry this chapter took a little longer than anticipated to get out. I only got one review for the last chapter, and I was pretty disappointed, so I lost a lot of my motivation. I was going to do it yesterday, but that horrific episode wrecked me emotionally and I could not write this beautiful chapter for you.
Second, please review and let me know what you think, they seriously make my day (and make me write faster)! Let me know what you want to see, Killian returning to school? A big time jump? Neal? Henry?
Third, I just finished this, so I haven't proofread it more than once, but I really wanted to get it up here for you guys tonight, so forgive any mistakes I make.
You guys are amazing! Enjoy!
Emma woke up the next morning, really wishing she could simply stay in bed for the rest of the day. While she hadn't drank enough to get completely wasted, she still had a slight hangover that made the sun coming in through her windows, all the more blinding.
There was a light pounding on the side of her head, and she felt a little nauseous, but she was sure that after a light breakfast and some pain meds, she would be feeling better soon.
Not wanting to waste anytime getting rid of her irritating headache, Emma rose from her bed, only pausing to run a brush through her hair and put on a bra, (after all, Killian was still in this house somewhere and she was not about to let him see how she looked freshly hungover) before heading to the bathroom.
Once in the bathroom, she swiped some pain meds before splashing some cold water on her face, and wiping off the remnants of her makeup from last night, which were now smeared on her face. She quickly brushed her teeth and fanned her blonde hair delicately over her shoulders, trying to make it look it's best, while silently berating herself for caring so much about what Killian thought of her.
If he doesn't like me for me, then he doesn't deserve me.
She felt a pang in her heart for a moment, knowing that phrase was something mothers were supposed to say to their daughters, and that she would never have that experience.
Emma looked at herself in the mirror, studying her blonde waves and green eyes, wondering which one of her features she inherited from her mom.
Would people have said she looked exactly like her? The idea filled her with pride, until she was pulled back to reality, remembering that her mother left her for dead on the side of a freeway, and she was probably nothing to be idolized.
"Alright there, love?"
She turned to find Killian standing in the bathroom doorway, leaning against the frame.
His hair was messier than usual, and his eyes still looked sleepy, suggesting he had just woken up.
Well, that and the fact that he was only wearing pajama bottoms and no shirt.
But it's not like she noticed that.
Emma Swan definitely did not notice his gorgeous chest or ogle at his perfect muscles.
No chance in hell.
The blush on her face however, gave away her thoughts, causing Killian's face to break out in a knowing smirk that was honestly both irritating and sexy, leaving her to wonder whether she should slap it off his face or kiss it off.
She shook her head at him, before turning to look back in the mirror at herself.
"I'm just having thoughts that are way too deep and depressing for this early in the morning."
Killian chuckled, the sound of which sent a wave of happiness through her, stirring up butterflies in her chest. "It's half past noon, Swan. Hardly morning."
She sent him an irritated look and his face grew concerned as he took note of the sadness in her features.
He took a few steps further into the bathroom, "What are you thinking, Emma?"
She hesitates, wondering if she should tell him what was really going through her head, or if she should lie. Lying would be easier, safer. It would keep him at a distance she really should have kept him at the moment they met. He was too dangerous, with his bright blue eyes and caring nature. He could wreck her, and all he would have to do was leave her. Which he would do in a couple weeks when he returned to school.
Killian, as if sensing where her thoughts were taking her, walked up next to her and placed his hand on her arm, urging her to look at him. She gave in, her green eyes meeting his blue ones, and noticed the desperation and worry that laid there.
"Try something new darling, it's called trust."
And she really couldn't help but to listen, not when he was looking at her like that.
"I was just - " she starts before taking a deep breath, urging herself to open up. But looking at him is too much, so she looks back at the mirror before continuing, "I was just wondering if I looked like my mom."
She keeps her eyes on her face in the mirror, refusing to meet his gaze, knowing the sadness he will feel for her.
"Part of me wants to. I want to look like her because then I'll have something of hers. But then I think about how she abandoned me, and suddenly I want to look like anything but her."
She doesn't expect it, but suddenly she's wrapped in Killian's arms, her face against his chest. His arms are tight around her, and he places his cheek on top of her hair. She closes her eyes and leans into him, wrapping her arms around his middle, silently accepting his comfort.
They stand there like that for a few minutes, wrapped up in each other, no one wanting to ruin the moment by speaking.
After a few minutes Killian whispers, "Her chin."
Emma pulls back slightly, but only enough so that she can look up at him in confusion. "What?"
He smiles down at her. It's soft and sweet, while one of his arms moves from around her so that his fingers can lightly touch her chin. "You have her chin."
She shakes her head slightly, "And how would you know that?"
"Because it's an adorable chin, and I doubt it came from your father."
She laughs for a moment because it's so ridiculous. He has no way of knowing where her chin came from, whether it be her mother, grandmother, or hell, even her dad could have had her little chin for all he knew. Yet, the idea comforts her, and she's grateful for his help.
She gives him a smile, before moving her face back into his chest, and gripping him tightly. "Thank you." She whispers.
"Anytime, love."
He puts his cheek back on her hair, but it's short lived, as a cough from the doorway breaks them up.
They both pull away slightly to see Jefferson standing in the doorway looking like absolute shit. His hair is worse than Killian's and he doesn't look sleepy, he looks like he's about to puke.
"I hate to be the one to ruin the moment," he says, "but I really gotta pee, and possibly throw up everything I drank last night."
The two stare at Jefferson as if they couldn't believe he had the audacity to disrupt such a meaningful moment with his desperation for a toilet.
"What?" He asks. "It's a bathroom!"
Killian clenches his jaw and pulls away from Emma before heading towards the exit, gritting out from his teeth, "Too many people in this fucking house."
Emma stands there for a moment, still in shock, before pulling herself back together and quickly moving back to her room.
The next week seems to fly by as the friends spend every moment of their break together. Killian for the most part, has seamlessly worked his way back into the group, who have all but forgotten his five month disappearance.
Well, everyone except for Graham, with whom he couldn't be getting along with worse.
Emma notices how Graham throws hate filled looks Killian's way, as if he is wishing Killian would take another five month hiatus from the group. Killian isn't exactly innocent either. Emma hasn't failed to notice that whenever Graham is around, Killian fails to leave her side. Always wrapping an arm around her waist, sitting next to her at Granny's, or even going so far as to hold her hand.
At first Emma found it endearing. She loved holding Killian's hand or the feeling of his arm around her. But once she made the connection between Killian's bouts of affection and Graham's appearances, she started to get annoyed, wondering if Killian was doing it all for show, if Emma was just being used as a pawn in his feud with Graham (not realizing she was his feud with Graham).
Not to say that Killian ignored her when Graham wasn't around. She and Killian were usually together, watching movies or talking. Often he would wrap an arm around her shoulder, but it felt like it was more in a friendly way. She couldn't understand Killian's signals, and while she had come to accept that she had quite a lot of feelings for Killian, she couldn't tell how he felt about her. Especially since his romantic acts were all timed with Graham's arrivals.
So that's how Emma found herself, Christmas Eve, sitting in the Nolan's living room next to Killian, her hand in his. Their friends were scattered around the room, all circled around the Christmas tree in the center, presents stacked up underneath it.
Mary Margaret had just opened her present from David, a golden promise ring with a beautiful emerald stone in the middle.
Ruby had been given clothes and trinkets, all in various shades of red, and she was currently showing off her new crystal wolf to Jefferson, who had jokingly been gifted three cases of water bottles, urging him to abstain from alcohol after last week's fiasco.
Emma was having an amazing time. It was the first real Christmas she had ever gotten to celebrate. She had received small gifts from everyone. Ruth had given her a new phone, so that she could communicate better with everyone, and call for help if she needed it. David and Mary Margaret had bought her new copies of all of her favorite books including The Princess Bride, Peter Pan, and the classic Grimm's Fairy Tales. Regina and Ruby had gifted her clothes she desperately needed, while Graham gave her a charm bracelet that was clearly expensive, and made both Emma and Killian a little uncomfortable.
Okay, so Killian was really uncomfortable with it.
It was the perfect night, until Graham claimed he had to go home and see his family for the night. The group bid him farewell, Emma and Killian from their spot nestled on the couch, and he was soon gone.
Not two minutes after he had left, Killian removed his hand from Emma's, sending a wave of hurt through her. She looked down at her hand all alone, in disgust, as though it had personally offended her.
She tried to hide her hurt and hold back her watering eyes. She could tell everyone in the room was looking at her, except Killian, who was blissfully ignorant.
To be honest, Emma had pretty much talked with the majority of the group about Killian's behavior, seeking advice where she could find it. Everyone assured her Killian adored her, and wasn't putting on a show for Graham, but now they were seeing it for themselves. His hand had been in hers all night, and the moment Graham was gone, his was gone.
They could all see the hurt on Emma's face, and the room had gone silent, finally prompting Killian to notice something was wrong.
His gaze moved to Emma, who was still staring down at her hand, trying to keep herself from crying.
"Emma?" He asked, concern and panic clear in his tone. "Love, what's wrong?"
There were a lot of things she wanted to say, a lot of retorts she wanted to shoot out of her mouth, but she didn't say anything. She was vulnerable, in front of a whole group of people over some boy, and that was the last thing Emma Swan ever wanted to be.
She quickly pulled herself off the couch and walked out the front door before any tears could make it out of her eyes, leaving Killian to stare after her in worry, a small "Emma?" on his lips.
It was freezing outside.
Really she could have come up with a better idea than going outside. She hadn't even grabbed her damn jacket.
It was winter. In Maine. What kind of idiot doesn't take a jacket.
She supposed it wasn't part of her dramatic exit, and left it at that.
She could hear voices bickering inside, probably everyone freaking out at Killian for being so stupid.
She felt bad for a moment, but then again, her hand still felt the loss of his and her eyes were still burning with tears, so she stopped caring if he got yelled at.
She wasn't sure how long she sat out there, desperately wishing she could go back inside where it was warm, but her pride wouldn't let her.
Eventually the door opened, and someone came and sat down next to her. Emma knew it was Killian immediately.
"I'm an idiot." He muttered, shaking his head.
She turned to look at him, tell him she was stupid for expecting him to like her, when his hands grabbed either side of her face, his lips slamming down upon hers.
For a second, neither one of them moved, just relishing in the wonderful feeling of their lips on each other's, electricity humming between them.
And then their lips were moving in sync, heated and desperate. Emma's hands quickly moved into his hair, her fingers curling around the dark tufts, eliciting a deep moan from Killian, as his hands moved from her face, one wrapped securely around her middle, pulling her closer to him, while the other was buried in her blonde locks.
Killian's tongue was suddenly running over her lips, begging her for entrance, and there was no way in hell she could have said no. Their tongues tangled in one another's, in a battle for dominance that Killian quickly won, moving his tongue to explore every inch of her mouth.
Emma couldn't help but moan in pleasure. It was incredible. No kiss should be able to feel this good. It wasn't like she hadn't kissed guys before, she had. But none of them compared to the feeling of Killian's lips on hers, his teeth tugging at her bottom lip, his tongue plundering her mouth.
She was going to combust from pleasure.
They both pulled back for a moment, having run out of breath, leaning their foreheads against each other's, their breaths fast and heavy.
"Holy hell," Killian whispered.
All Emma could do was nod, before his lips were on hers again.
They stayed that way for a while, kissing on the front porch steps, the snow falling around them. But the two were slowly freezing, and soon had to pull apart to go back inside.
Killian stopped her just as she made to stand up.
"I want to give you your gift, before we go back in there." He smiled, pulling something out of his pocket and placing it in her palm.
It was a gorgeous oval locket in gold, with a small swan etched into the front.
"Killian," She breathed.
"Open it."
Her fingers pried the locket open to find a picture on either side. The first was one of her and David, both asleep on the couch, her head on his shoulder, and his cheek on her hair. The second was a picture taken only a few days ago of the whole group squished into their booth at Granny's. They had gotten the old woman to agree to take that photo of them, despite how much she griped about it.
Emma's eyes watered. She had never been given anything so amazing in her whole life.
"It's just a reminder that no matter how alone you feel, you have a family here, Emma. People who love you."
She gave him a brilliant smile before pulling him down for a sweet kiss. "Thank you."
"Of course." He smiled.
She reached into the pocket of her sweatshirt and pulled out his gift, a compass.
"This is to help you find your way back to us, you know, after you go back to school."
He took the compass in his hands, beaming.
"I'll always find you, Emma."
He hugged her, before pulling her back inside to the warmth, were the two nestled on the couch among their friends, saving all the talks they needed to have for another day.
For now, they were content to be wrapped up in each other's arms, listening to the sounds of their friends singing Christmas carols completely out of tune.
It was by far, the best Christmas Emma Swan ever had.
Review?
- Emily